Tuesday

 

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sechs Schwedinnen von der Tankstelle

(1980)

Sechs Schwedinnen von der Tankstelle is an Erwin C. Dietrich sex farce. It once enjoyed a US release under the name High Test Girls, but has long since been unavailable.

Six Swedish girls have inherited a Swiss filling station/tavern, and have taken to getting their own tanks filled while the customers buy petrol. The petrol-buying motorists love the service. The mayor's wife thinks the girls are sinful, and nags him to get rid of them. However, her real motive becomes clear when the mayor leaves for a city council meeting, and one of the councilmen drops by to service her. In fact, one of the four councilmen takes care of the mayor's wife before every meeting, inevitably delaying the start.

The ingenious girls also rig a bicycle with a dildo piston in the seat, and all of them ride it. Not content with eight women showing everything, riding a bicycle dildo, and having simulated sex, Dietrich also created one of the peak moments in cinema history. Imagine six naked Swedish women running in slow motion along a stream through the forest for probably 10 minutes. This was classic fare from adult night at the drive-in, and we wouldn't have felt in any way cheated by this one. Lots of naked women having good clean dirty fun.

The DVD transfer is a little soft and a little washed out, but has no gross defects and sports a decent English dub.

The naked women are played by Brigitte Lahaie, Nadine Pascal, France Lomay, Jane Baker, Flore Sollier, Elodie Delage, Elsa Maroussia and Barbara Moose.

 

 

Barbara Moose

 

 

Brigitte Lahaie

 

Elodie Deloge

 

Elsa Maroussia

 

 

Flore Sollier

 

France Lomay

 

Jane Baker

 

Nadine Pascal

 

Group

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Superchick

It's drive-in movie time as the Time Machine goes back to 1973.

 

 

The legendary Candy Samples AKA Mary Gavin shows of her Robo-Hooters.

 

 

The late Joyce Jillson, who passed away in 2004 of kidney failure, was the author of a nationally syndicated astrology column that appeared in nearly 200 newspapers. She gives just a tease of some tit.

 

Then we have the always impressive Uschi Digard showing off her incomparable rack.

Uschi also has a "Babe in Bondage" whipping moment in a scene where she is making a movie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

part 1 of ?

Dolly Parton

If I were asked to compare Dolly Parton's public persona to someone else in the entertainment industry I would pick (Cassandra Peterson's) Elvira. They each take themselves none too seriously and gratuitously throw out their chests with a wink and a nod.

This new collage series is a tribute to Dolly's miles of cleavage . I hope you like it.

 

 

 

 

 

Christina De Rosa and Jaime Carson in Stupid Teenagers Must Die. (Sample right)

Lindsay Gareth in Stupid Teenagers Must Die. (Sample right)

Nicole Kidman's booty, quite visible through a transparent dress. A couple of minutes after this was snapped, she placed a long coat over her dress.

A compilation film clip of Jane Asher in Tirante el Blanco. Jane was an important figure in the music of the British Invasion. Her brother Peter was THE Peter of Peter and Gordon, and her boyfriend Paul was THE Paul of Beatles fame. McCartney wrote some of his best love songs in her honor. She was a fox then. This film was not made in those days, however, but in 2006, so Jane was 60. She still looks great, and used no body double.

Krista Allen in The Haunted Sea

Two from Night Junkies: Katia Winter and Lauren Adams

LC worked up a better film clip of Michelle Borth's sex scene in episode eight of Tell Me You Love Me.

 

A film clip of Jaime Murray in Dexter Season 2 Episode 5. Samples below.


A few from Herr Haut:

Nasty Kinski in L'Alba

Nasty Kinski in Boarding School

 

Sylvia Kristel in Naakt over die Schutting

Suzie Pai in the special features from the First Blood DVD

 

 

 

 

 

 

La Picara Justina

 

This is the last of series of 1982 TV-Movies.

One faithful day the Mother of Justina (Ana Obregón) chokes and dies trying to swallow a whole sausage. Justina is left with everything they have and she starts using her charms to keep going until one day her brothers come to reclaim their part. Justina keeps giving them things but they are never happy so she figures out a way to end this situation.

 

 

Ana Obregon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Action Girls volume 3 gives us a dozen gals to look at, eight of them with names attached. Here are the best looking of the bunch in some sort of order. They are Chantel Williams, Silvie Thomas and Victoria Roberts. Silvie's strip and wiggle scene is filmed in a supermarket or something very much like that whereas Chantel and Victoria look to be hanging around a garage in downtown Prague. Or so I am guessing.

Triple B performance in all the B's glory.

Film clips:

Chantel Williams

 

 

Silvie Thomas

 

 

Victoria Roberts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wrong Turn 2

If you're familiar with the 2003 horror flick Wrong Turn, then you'd probably expect it's 2007 direct-to-video sequel to be about people in the woods being hunted by inbred mutant cannibals, and you'd be right. They did manage a few twists, though, and for its type, it's not terrible.

Participants and crew are filming a reality show deep in the West Virginia woods, where the gimmick is that they're post-apocalyptic survivors who must deal with simulated problems like virus outbreaks, radiation contamination, and the like. The winner gets $100,000. What they don't know is that the loser gets.... dead.

Predictable yet fun for horror freaks, the action is good, and there are a few minor surprises, but the cinematography, or rather videography, is fairly poor, and the DVD quality is pretty shaky. Still, the blood flows, which is kind of what this type of movie is all about.

Crystal Lowe

 

 

 

 

 


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

A Halloween poll by the AP and Ipsos found that about one-third of Americans believe in ghosts, and one fourth think they've seen or felt a ghost.  Single people, Catholics and people who never attend church are most likely to think they've seen a ghost.  And oddly enough, 31 percent of liberals think they've seen a ghost, compared to only 18 percent of conservatives.

*  If a conservative sees a pale, shrieking banshee, he just assumes it's Ann Coulter. 



Citizens of Lansing, Michigan, can rest easy on Halloween, knowing that local police are prepared in the event of a zombie attack.  Police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson said the force has been training for years for all kinds of mock disasters, so if a swarm of zombies comes in on I-496 westbound, they're ready to block the exits so they miss the city.  And if they do invade, the police know how to close the streets and where to get hold of a ready supply of chainsaws.

*  Of course, if the zombies take the turnpike and come in on I-496 eastbound, Lansing is screwed. 

 



That's Not A Leather Jacket, It's My Skin

Henry "Fonzie" Winkler is 62 today.

*  He used to go "Aaaaaay!," but now he goes, "Oyyyyyyyy!"