Wednesday

Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 7.0 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Kate's Addiction (1999) is a grade Z thriller, staring Kari Wuhrer as a woman insanely jealous that her best friend is living with a man and planning marriage. Farrah Forke, as the friend, had agreed to open a florist shop in New Orleans, when Wuhrer graduated from school. Wuhrer comes to LA to break up the relationship at any cost, finally killing the fiancee. Forke fairly quickly finds another man.

The film made the festival circuit, then went straight to vid. Both Wuhrer and Forke show breasts. I can't think of a single good thing to say about this film. Wuhrer's character was one dimensional, and Forke was just too nice. IMDB readers have it at 3.5 of 10. There are no meaningful reviews available. For me, this is a D+. At no point did I care about any of the characters.

Here are some far better versions of Madonna's two lame nude scenes in  Swept Away

• Madonna (1, 2)

Speaking of sweeping, I don't know exactly how to describe Men With Brooms. I rented it because it starred Leslie Nielsen and I laughed out loud when I read the video box. It turned out to be light on the comedy and heavy on the inspirational sports movie cliches. Despite that, I found myself watching it and liking it for its sheer sincerity. You also have to like any film which claims that if Albert Einstein had been born at another time, he could have been as important as Buddha or Bill Shatner. It is the Field of Dreams of  ... are you ready for this ... curling! Sorry, plenty of naked guys, but no chicks.

• Molly Parker. No nudity, but an OK downblouse.
• Jane Spidell. Maybe a slight look at her buns, maybe not.

One reviewer at IMDb described Soul Assassin, starring Skeet Ulrich and Kristy Swanson, as the worst movie ever made in Holland. It would finish pretty low among the films made outside of Holland as well. But I liked one thing about it. You know how most movies are shot in perfect light until it comes time for the nude scene, then the bulbs all burn out? This film is literally the opposite. The nude scene is the only one in the film lit naturally and clearly. The entire remainder of the film is presented through some crazy dark blue filter,

• Katherine Lang (1, 2)

The Peruvian film industry is really in its infancy as far as international distribution goes. Ciudad de M shows some promise, but is primitive compared to the best films of Argentina or Mexico. Still, I guess they have to start somewhere. They do have the right idea on the nudity and the beauty of the women.

• Gianella Neyra. She is a Beautiful woman with a great chest. imagine Amanda Peet with a DD cup. (1, 2)
• Melania Urbina. She looks great. (1, 2)

MAILBOX:

(scoop's replies in yellow)

Dear Scoopy,

Thank you for the new pictures of Sophie Favier, who was a stunning beauty when she was a few years younger (she is still a very attractive woman at the age of 39). A few comments : About the movie "Venus" : the first collage does not come from this one (which I have ; it was released in VHS Secam format in 1993). The source of the pictures is unknown to me, but I guess they belong to the series of 'glamour' shots Sophie was doing at the time. 2) The movie "Lady Libertine" (aka "Frank and I") was filmed in 1983 and released in 1984. The director, Gérard Kikoïne, is the author of many X-rated hardcore movies. This one is softcore, but it does not show only Sophie's toplesness. She has a brief full frontal scene and a longer one where her nice arse is in full display. It is amusing to note that Sophie tried without success to oppose to the release of these obscure flicks nobody had ever heard of < so giving them a large publicity, which may have been what she really wanted : who knows ?

Afterthought - I mentioned a brief full frontal scene by Sophie Favier in "Lady Libertine". I have just noticed that you have it. It's the first frame in the third section : "Poses".

Paris, France

Thanks for the info. We definitely needed some expertise in this area! I made all the corrections you suggested. I also searched through some sources for additional Sophie pictures, and added them to the volume. I found six explicit poses and two collages from "Venus", but nothing more of her lower body from Lady Libertine.

• LeAnn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

To JazzMaster: they came out nice. To Readers: do not miss the first two!

Hey Scoop

(several letters said this) Still waiting for caps of Salma Hayek in Frida. No luck yet?

I will keep looking. Soon, I hope.

OTHER CRAP:

• Here is the Jim Beam site - click here to link off and vote for our Funhouse loyalists, Code Sunshine, (and to hear a sample). Voting until 7PM eastern time Wednesday.
• Winona update from IMDb: "Overzealous security guards got more than they bargained for when they lifted her top while searching for alleged stolen shopping items - as she wasn't wearing a bra. The actress' defense team is claiming their client was humiliated by guards at the Saks Fifth Avenue store in Beverly Hills while she waited for police to arrive last December when she was charged with shoplifting. As the delayed trial gets underway, Ryder's legal team claim (sic) security staff lifted the movie star's top to reveal her breasts and then cheekily asked her for tickets to see an upcoming film. Meanwhile, the Los Angeles District Attorney's legal eagles are laughing off the defense's claims, and are instead trying to portray Ryder as a cool, calculated and brazen shoplifter, who came to the store prepared for a shoplifting spree. They claim she brought scissors and five plastic bags full of tissues so she could cut tags off items and smuggled them out of the store. They also claim one of their witnesses is a security guard who peeked through slats in a dressing room door and saw the actress cutting off tags and stashing clothes into her bags. Ryder, dressed all in black and wearing a headband, sat quietly through the first day of the trial, occasionally shaking her head in disbelief as the prosecutors made their opening statements."
• Jennifer Lopez sticks her hand down Affleck's pants in public
• Who says we never have anything useful on the site - how to make your own didgeridoo, Lou. We now have two instruments in the Scoopy Philharmonic - the Pan Flute and the Didgeridoo. Zamfir and Djalu' - together at last.
• Violent crime increased in 2001 for the first time since - well, since there was a Bush in the White House. It rose for umpteen jillion years, declined throughout the Clinton years, then rose again as soon as Clinton was gone. I'm not making a political point here, just stating the facts. Here are the precise facts for 1960-2000.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

A little variety just for fun...

"Slaughterhouse-Five"

"Listen: Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time Billy has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day. He has walked through a door in 1955 and came out another one in 1941. He has gone back though this door to find himself in 1963. He has seen his birth and death many times, he pays random visits to all the events in between"

So starts the outstanding novel by Kurt Vonnegut. This novel was adapted to the screen in 1972. The movie stars Michael Sacks as Billy Pilgrim and Valerie Perrine as a skin flick star, Montana Wildhack.

The story is a mixture of true events experienced by Kurt Vonnegut as a prisoner of war, imprisoned in a slaughterhouse (Schlachthof funf) in Dresden. The author really did live through the bombing of Dresden. The story adds a science fiction twist complete with time travel and alien abduction.

In the movie Pilgrim moves randomly from time to time. A sociopath, who blames him for the death of a fellow prisoner, always pursues him. He meets up with beings from the planet Tralfamadore. These creatures see time all at once as opposed to our seeing only the current moment. When they look at a person they see his whole life at once.

After the universe is destroyed in a scientific accident, that no matter how many times the Tralfamadorians live it over and over again, won't change. He ends up in their zoo (a furnished dome) living with another abductee, Miss Wildhack.

The movie is an outstanding adaptation of a difficult story to follow. The movie remains very faithful to the novel. It was so well done, one can actually come away from the movie, read the novel, and understand the film better.

I first saw this on VHS and finally purchased it in DVD form. The movie is now out of print but copies can be found still on Amazon. The DVD transfer quality is unfortunately mediocre. Perhaps this will be re-released in the future in a better quality DVD.

IMDB rating: 6.9/10

Nudity: Perrine appears topless in a skin flick watched at the drive in by Billy and his family. She also appears topless in the dome after being abducted to Tralfamadore.

• Valerie_Perrine

SCARIEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME: "PRISONER MARTHA"
Exclusively At Kmart! - Because of all the grim news this year, Halloween costume buyers are passing up scary, gory outfits for whimsical ones. The New York Post reports that big sellers include superheroes such as Spiderman and Wonder Woman, sweet costumes such as angels and "Wizard of Oz" characters, and ridiculous outfits, such as giant pink bunnies. Hottest of all is a Martha Stewart mask with prison garb and a plastic ball and chain. One seller said Martha's a prime target "because people didn't like her to begin with."