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This is the start of a two day horror festival in honor of Halloween.
"Succubus" (1967)
Succubus, which IMDB calls "Necronomicon - Geträumte Sünden" is directed by Jess Franco, whom IMDB calls Jesús Franco, and stars Janine Reynaud, whom IMDB actually calls Janine Reynaud. There is a dirth of information at IMDB on this one. There is one comment, and no reviews. It is possible that everyone had the same problem I did trying to figure it out. Reynaud is a nightclub performer, who does an erotic S & M number. She also seems to drift in and out of reality, and ends up being a famous historical Succubus under control of Satan, or maybe she is just on a bad acid trip through most of the film (everyone is fed a sugar cube at a party near the beginning). The quality is terrible, being overly bright, and terribly lacking in color saturation. To purchase this DVD, or just learn more about it, visit
Amazon.com, where there are some good comments.
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Janine Reynaud
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"Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks" (1973)
Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks was released on DVD by Something Weird Video. It stars Rosanno Brazzi as Frankenstein, whose castle has everything, including a secret lab, a dwarf, a hunchback, and a Neanderthal giant. There are caves on his property where, it is rumored, more Neanderthals live. The day after he borrows a fresh corpse from the town cemetery, his daughter and her best friend visit. The daughters friend and Frankenstein soon get interested in playing doctor, while the daughter has the honeymoon before the wedding with her fiancee, who leaves shortly after having sex with her. The townsfolk are not real happy about the grave desecration, and blame Frankenstein. Meanwhile, the dwarf becomes a discipline problem, and is kicked out of the castle.
That should be enough setup. Three actresses show exposure. The one I have called Annamaria Tornello is raped by the dwarf. The credits show her as Tornello Annamaria, and IMDB has her as Fornello Annamaria. As there are two or three others in the credits that have common first names for last
names and unusual first names, I went out on a limb and called her Annamaria Tornello. I suspect this is not her real stage name anyway. If anyone knows who she really is, please let us know. The daughter is played by Simone Blondell. IMDB does not have her in the data base at all, and does not list her role, even though they say the credits are "complete awaiting verification." The best friend was credited as Christiane Royce. IMDB says she is really Christiane Rücker, which may well be correct.
The film may be close to the record for most names:
Castello della paura, Il (1973)
Castello delle donne maledette, Il (1973)
Dr. Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (1973)
Frankenstein's Castle (1973) (UK: video title)
Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks (1973) (USA)
House of Freaks, The (1973)
Monsters of Dr. Frankenstein, The (1973)
Monsters of Frankenstein (1973)
Terror (1973)
Terror Castle (1973)
Some of the imagery is very nice, and the set and art direction have their moments. A sulphur spring in a cave makes a lovely backdrop for some nude bathing by Royce and Blondell. 8 voters at IMDB have it at 3.4, which is a little low. They have obviously applied the "nudity is bad" and the "horror
is not a real film" deductions. I didn't mind seeing it. There was enough nudity to hold my interest, and there was enough plot to make me stay for the end. Unfortunately, the end was anti-climactic.
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Annamaria Tornello
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Christiane Royce
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Simone Blondell
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Honest
(2000)
I haven't seen this one, and probably never will. The images are collected from the newsgroups. It's a project tailor-made for the All Saints girls. If you aren't from the U.K., they are kind of the neo-Spice Girls although, based on the reviews, they make the Spice Girls look like the Royal Shakespeare Company.
The flick is set in the cultural rebellion of the late 60's, and the neo-Spicettes play three working class girls who decide to commit robberies, wear men's clothing, and have sex a lot.
It was directed by Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics.
Nicole Appleton and Natalie Appleton do nude scenes.
Natalie
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Nicole
Reviews and summaries: this movie got the lowest possible score from the two reviewers below. The IMDB score is one of the lowest for recent movies, although the 3.3 couldn't quite match the 3.1 earned by their fellow Brit-Clit group for Spice World.
Bad films released after 1996, worst on top
- Crazy Six
- The Godson
- The Killer Eye
- Turbo
- Baby Geniuses
- Battlefield Earth
- Universal Soldier 2
- Spice World
- Honest
BBC Online. One star out of five.
Inside Out U.K. One star out of five.
IMDB summary: 3.3 out of 10.
The DVD will be released only in Region 2 for now, since those lowbrow Americans are not clamoring for this artistic treasure.
A Murder of Crows (2000)
I don't think this movie ever had a theatrical release, but it's a pretty damned good little movie for a made-for-Showtime, and is a surprisingly solid DVD.
The film has a brilliant premise. Cuba Gooding is a lawyer who is disbarred because of his failure to properly defend a client who he knows to be guilty of a horrible crime. While he becomes a vegetable working as a fishing guide in Key West, he befriends an old retired fella who has written an interesting book. The old fella dies with no family, and Cuba still has the unpublished murder mystery in his possession. He decides to publish it as his own work.
He gets rich and famous until one day he finds himself in jail for murder. Turns out that the murders described in the book are real, right down to details that the police never released to the press or public.
Oops.
Now I can't really go too much deeper, because nothing is as it seems, and there are a few twists that you may not see coming.
Regrettably, the execution isn't as good as the premise. They had a great idea, but couldn't quite make all the pieces fit sensibly. There are a lot of problems in the details:
- There is a silly sub-plot with Eric Stoltz as the client Cuba screwed at the beginning of the film. I think something got cut here which would have made it seem more relevant. Or maybe more should have been cut.
- There is a foolish multi-state chase where the hunted mass murderer (Cuba) never wears a disguise, never even changes his sport coat, and goes straight to his own house in Key West! A master of elusiveness, that lad.
- While on the lam as a noted mass murderer, and still without ever removing the same sport coat
and tie, Cuba is able to go everywhere and get everything he needs to research the crimes. He's able to simply sweet talk the phone company into giving him pay phone records, e.g..
- How about some cheesy dialogue? How did his female publisher decide the book would be a best-seller. "It made me wet".
- And there is quite a disappointing and unsatisfying ending, in my opinion. The film begins with him narrating from behind bars, in prison duds. I figured that the twist would be that he'd get out of the murder rap, but end up in jail for a zillion years on the fraud. Not so. There was a much better twist than that, and I liked it. What I didn't like was about the last two minutes, which seemed to give everybody an easy out about everything.
I guess you can say that the bottom line is that its one of those movies like U-571. You can see it's dumb, and it should have been so much better, but it's still fun to watch.
It was shot on location in two picturesque places, New Orleans and Key West, and it looks rich. Best of all, it fooled me on a couple of plot twists. How many films can you say that about? I've seen a lot of theatrical releases not that are not as good as this, and the DVD has impressive special features. I think it'll even auto-butter your popcorn. See below for details.
It was directed by my main man, Rowdy Herrington, the guy who directed Road House. Why would anybody hire a director who specializes in fight scenes to do a movie with no fight scenes at all? For one thing, because he also wrote the script.
To be more specific, Cuba Gooding and Rowdy go way back. Rowdy gave Gooding the lead in "Gladiator" eight years ago, when Cuba was still a total unknown. These days Rowdy doesn't get much work, so Cuba and Rowdy got together, and Cuba paid back the old debt. Cuba produced Rowdy's script with Rowdy directing. I assume Cuba was able to get Showtime to foot the tab in exchange for Cuba's agreement to star in the film, since he's a huge star by made-for-cable standards.
There is some nudity from Ashley Laurence as the publisher. She and Cuba do some brief but spirited sporthumping. There is also some incidental nudity from anonymous extras at Mardi Gras, etc..
Ashley Laurence
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Mardi Gras
General critical: Apollo reviewed it, and didn't like it. (52/100). No other reviews.
IMDB summary: 6.5 out of 10. IMDb users like it, and Apollo users liked it even better, rating it 72. So the audiences were pretty pleased with it, even if the critics were mute.
DVD info from Amazon. This DVD must hold the record for the most special features on a minor movie. The Sterling Milennium Series is the Cadillac of DVD Mastering. They have no titles worth lavishing all this glitz on, but even the major studios could learn from these guys. The film itself is a letterboxed 1.85-1, solid but not special, but the DVD has the following extras:
- Not one but two commentary tracks. One from the director and one from the actors.
- A special behind the scenes with the make-up artist. If I tell you why, it'll spoil the movie
for you.
- DVD-ROM special feature: the complete script is typed out, and it is clickable. Click on the
script and it goes to that scene. Dreamworks could even learn from this one.
- Trivia game
- Photo gallery
- The usual bios and trailers
TCTV
TomCat put on his boogie shoes today, to capture the best thing about Euroope. No, not the rich cultural heritage or the fierce spirit of independent thought, but full frontal nudity on their music TV stations. I might even watch MTV if they did this with Shania Twain. But not with any of those Snoop Puffy Fat type guys.
The Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up
Massive Attack - Be Thankful
Moloko - Sing it Back
Skank - Garota Nacional
| Oz
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Comments by Oz:
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Linnea Quigley
Michelle Bauer
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Tane McClure
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"Assault of the Party Nerds 2"
I don't think this has appeared in the Fun House before but, if you saw #1, you'd recognize the names: Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer and Tane McClure. Linnea and Michelle are topless, Tane provides a very interesting upskirt.
| Miranda Otto
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Lee Remick
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"Emma's War"
Miranda Otto (as Emma) and star in this Australian story set during World War 2. Lee is an alcoholic whose husband is seriously injured in the war. Miranda plays her daughter. In the collages you see Miranda and some of her school friends in the shower after playing sport.
There's no nudity from Lee, she's just running around in her underwear.
| Miranda Otto
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Miranda is naked in the Australian movie In the Winter Dark. It is set in the mountains and Miranda gets herself knocked out in an accident and then soaked in the rain. This explains why the bloke is taking off her clothes.
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Brooke Burke
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A few pokies from Brooke after she went canoeing in Hawaii in an episode of Wild On.
| Neriah Davis
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Neriah is also in an episode of Wild On trying on some lingerie. Why? So the producers have something to fill out the show.
| | Victoria Vogel
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Not a lot of point to this one. She's an unknown model (to me) who appeared in Wild On, and she has large boobs and something poking through.
| Jaime Pressly
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Molly Hagan
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Tangie Ambrose
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Nicki Micheaux
Ringmaster Various
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"Ringmaster"
This movie is based on The Jerry Springer Show and he has one of the lead roles. He even has a love scene, with clothing. The main theme of the movie is how the producers go about getting the participants in a Jerry show titled I Slept with my Stepdaddy. Jamie Pressly plays the daughter and Molly Hagan is her mother. It was an enjoyable movie to watch.
The collages of Jamie appeared on the Fun House a few months ago, as did some of the unknowns. But there is a lot more of interest in the movie. Molly, who I almost didn't recognize with her straight hair, runs around in her underwear, shows a few pokies and an upskirt. There are also some caps of interest provided by Tangie Ambrose and Nicki Micheaux. The nudity comes from two silicone-filled bisexuals in the first four collages. Unfortunately, they're not identified. I recognize the red head from her tattoo but her name escapes me. The last collage shows a girl in a cafe who decides to flash her tits at Jerry. It must be an occupational hazard.
| | Brainscan
| Paula Jones
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Comments by Brainscan:
A few scans to complete the Paula Jones pictorial from Penthouse. What's with the tongue-between-clinched-teeth pose? You think that was her way of letting us know nothing of Bill's passed between those lips? Crimony, as long as her nose used to be you'd have to be hung like a
horse to keep her proboscis from impaling your umbilicus. Or something like that.
| | Flurk
| Brigitta Callens
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#1 are excellent teaser vidcaps from "Sterren en kometen". Brigitta is in the tub and there are hints of exposure in various areas, plus a few nipple sightings, and a few easy to see thong 'caps too. #2 and #3 are cleavage only.
| Stephanie Meire
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Partial nip sighting in #1. #2 is the old "arms over boobs" bit.
| Kelly Pfaff
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Several "arms over boobs" poses.
| Tania Prinsier
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Bikini stuff and some see-thru pokies in #1 and #2.
| | Emmanuelle Béart |
Full frontal 'caps of the French actress in the 1986 movie "Manon des sources".
| | Els de Schepper |
All I know about this one is that this is one weird pose! Lot's of cleavage though.
| | Els Dottermans |
Doing naked handstands in the Dutch movie "Antonia".
| | Amelia Heinle |
All wet, and sorta see-thru in scenes from "Purgatory".
| | Sandrine Holt |
In familiar topless scenes from "Rapa Nui".
| | Angela Porcell |
The very busty no-name actress showing off the goods in several scenes from "Terminal Force".
| | Robin Tunney |
Cleavage and upskirt scenes from "Montana".
| | and ...
| Barbara Crampton
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Showing off the goods and playing with severed heads. Maybe it's just the Halloween influence talking, but nothing says party like nekkid babes and severed heads!
| Rebecca Gayheart
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Rebecca posing in skimpy outfits and bikinis. No real exposure from her of course. Although maybe she should think about doing some nude scenes to boost her sagging career.
| | Sarah Michelle Gellar |
Buffy cleavage at an Awards show. Thanks to Cougar Scans.
| | Xenia Seeberg |
From "Verbotene Liebe".
| Racia Oliviera
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From the Blacksine fashion advertising series....#1 actually has a bit of see-thru nipple exposure.
| | The Funnies by Number 6
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We, Democrats of America, hold these talking points to be self-evident:
That the failure of any government program is proof it needs more funding;
That Bill Gates symbolizes what is wrong with America; (The single largest contributor to charity, ever.)
That the Communist Chinese expected nothing in return for their contributions to the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign;
That the Ten Commandments are judgmental and, consequently, dangerous for our children to learn in school;
That, in the spirit of inclusion, our armed forces should welcome gay soldiers into their shower stalls;
That the problem of gun violence will be solved as soon as law-abiding citizens are forced to disarm;
That I prove my compassion and generosity when I support tax increases on anyone who is richer than I;
That Republicans are evil, except Republican union members whose wages are confiscated for the purpose of funding Democratic campaigns;
That Bill Clinton was correct when he vetoed welfare reform, correct when he vetoed it again and correct when he proudly signed it into law;
That Bob Jones is a religious bigot with dangerous ideas when his faith dictates white Christians should marry only white Christians, but that Joe Lieberman is a good man with deeply held religious principles when his faith dictates orthodox Jews should marry only orthodox Jews;
That a thousand FBI files on prominent Republicans arrived at the White House as a result of an innocent bureaucratic SNAFU under the watch of a former bar bouncer who became head of White House security and no one knows who hired him;
That Joe Camel brainwashed kids into smoking cigarettes, but that Hollywood's sex and violence do not influence them;
That we support more gun laws and fewer convictions;
That media reports on the homeless are newsworthy unless a Democrat is in the White House;
That the timing of the American bombing of a Sudanese pharmaceutical plant on the day of Monica Lewinsky's testimony was purely coincidental;
That everyone deserves equal rights, except white males;
That we should march in favor of partial birth abortions and against the execution of child murderers;
That we support the Constitution's unwritten right to privacy but not its written right to bear arms;
That taxpayer dollars should never fund religious art except for art that denigrates Christianity;
That only a risky Republican scheme would propose changes for high schools that graduate students who can't read their diplomas;
That Al Gore invented the Internet and Hillary Clinton is a brilliant cattle futures speculator;
That every government program is essential and under-funded;
That minorities deserve high positions in government except when they are conservative;
That Bill Clinton has never forced himself upon a woman unless there is DNA evidence to prove it;
That we don't need to worry about records being set for the trade deficit, personal bankruptcies, and minorities in prison until a Republican is in the White House;
That, for every Clinton scandal, Republicans were guilty of "rushing to judgment" prior to proving wrongdoing and guilty of "dredging up old news" after proof was established;
That thou shalt not judge, unless it is for the purpose of exposing conservative white males as angry, gun-toting rednecks and conservative blacks as back-stabbing charlatans;
That the administration created our nation's economic prosperity even if we can't name the Clinton-Gore proposals that caused it;
That big companies, which succeed in a free market by routinely offering the best product or service at the lowest price, shouldn't be trusted, and that big government, which can confiscate and redistribute its citizen's wealth and imprison them if they don't cooperate, should;
That Al Gore discovered Love Canal.
That we have no reason to suspect espionage occurred when hard drives containing our most valuable nuclear secrets were missing from the Los Alamos laboratory;
That we should be outraged by the partial birth abortion of any animal except a human;
That the failure of 22,000 gun laws to prevent gun violence is proof that more gun laws are needed;
That Clarence Thomas is unfit for office but Bill Clinton is not;
That if our children aren't taught sex in school, they'll never find out about it;
That anyone who supports school vouchers, the strategic defense initiative, parental notification for abortion and privatization of social security is a right-wing kook, unless his name is Joe Lieberman.
That George W. Bush's degree from Yale does not change the fact that he is an idiot, but Al Gore's failing out of Vanderbilt is no reflection on his mentality;
And so, let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Donkeys.
There will be NO Macarena Democratic Zombie Dance on Election Night 2000
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