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Last Days (2005)

I think you'll get a good idea what kind of movie this is if you see the scores from the major British critics: the British print reviewers, as summarized by the Guardian Online; and the BBC score from their own site.

Newspaper or Network Score /10
Daily Mail 0
Daily Telegraph 4
Independent 2
The Guardian 10
The Times 8
The Express 4
The Mirror 2
Financial Times 8

As you can see, the average score is a hair less than two stars (1.9) out of four, but the range includes every possible score from zero to ten.

The American critics were kinder on balance, but equally polarized. It received 60% positive reviews, per Rotten Tomatoes, and Metacritic estimates that the average score is 67/100, but the individual articles cited by Metacritic range from four perfect 100s (including Roger Ebert and the New York Times) all the way down to a perfect zero.

What makes it so controversial?

Although it features professional cinematography and was directed by Gus van Sant, Last Days plays out like an underground film. Even though the story is not 100% factual, the lead character has strong parallels to Kurt Cobain, and details of the suicide are closely related to the events in the Cobain case. A junkie rock-star wanders through the woods and mumbles incoherently, arrives at a stream, pukes, swims, builds a campfire, and sings "Home on the Range." Then he comes into his disgustingly filthy house and is so wasted that he doesn't even care to continue mumbling incoherently. Most of the time he just listens without comment to false friends and visitors. Along the way, he nods off, removes an outer layer of clothing to reveal a black dress beneath.. He eats some dry breakfast cereal, and puts the box in the refrigerator. When the grunge-rocker finally gets around to dying, the director shows his spirit coming out of his body and rising to heaven by climbing up the side of a house. (I didn't make that up.)

If you have ever been around junkies you will undoubtedly agree that this film provides a remarkably accurate evocation of how they behave. You can view that as half-full or half-empty, in that you can praise it for the truth it represents, or condemn it because watching junkies flop about aimlessly is about the least interesting human activity which can be imagined, possibly excluding dinner with your mother-in-law and Andy Rooney.

The film runs into the same controversy that always haunts any portrayal of boredom and isolation. If the director portrays the atmosphere of boredom correctly, it will draw audiences into the character's pain. If the film is too interesting, the director will have failed to capture the proper mood. Well, this film is not just boring, but intensely boring. That is the reason why some critics assigned this film a zero. But it is meant to be boring, which is why other critics assign it a 100.  The audience enters the mind of a successful man who committed suicide, thus allowing viewers (in theory) to understand the boredom, and thus the suicide, at the very deepest, most visceral level.

Asia Argento

"Girl Play"
Girl Play (2004) is a lesbian themed talk-fest. Writers Robin Greenspan and Lacie Harmon stand on a simple set, and talk about how they met, and became life partners, including dramatized vignettes of them with previous girl friends. Lesbian audiences evidently enjoy the premise that you will find your perfect life partner eventually. and praise the honesty. As a film for general audiences, however, it is every bit as boring as it sounds. Imagine a 73 minute "relationship discussion" with your spouse, and no sex at the end.

Robin Greenspan shows breasts, and Lacie Harmon and Lauren Maher as her ex girlfriend, show breasts and buns. IMDb readerws say 3.8 of 10. It did win awards at the LA outfest. I suppose the genre is lesbian film, and this does appeal to that audience, making it a C by our system. I would advise against it, however, unless you are in the target audience.

Lacie Harmon

Lauren Maher

Robin Greenspan

"Going the Distance"
Going the Distance (2004) aka National Lampoon's Going the Distance is a Canadian teen road trip movie. Nick (Christopher Jacot) has just graduated from High School, gotten laid for the first time, and plans marriage to his girlfriend Katheryn Winnick. He wants to escape the life style of his hippy parents, who live in and operate a surf shop and piercing studio on the beach. The parents do not approve of the "conniving bitch" he intends to marry. She is lured to Toronto by a sleazebag record producer. Nick decides to fly to Toronto and win her back.

His two best friends, Tyler (Shawn Roberts) and Dime (Ryan Belleville) a major surfer and a doper respectively, with a little help from his mother's brownies, cause him to miss his flight, and, while he is still out cold, head off in his motor home for Toronto, and what they hope will be a liberating experience for him. When they pick up hitch-hikers Sasha (Joanne Kelly) and Jill (Mayko Nguyen), and his parents hire an ex special forces soldier to keep them from reaching Toronto, the elements are in place.

The film ranges from mildly amusing to laugh out loud hilarious. After his first sex experience, Nick asks her how it was. "It was the best three minutes of my life," she answers. At one point, all five kids are invited to dinner by a very strange and overly religious farmer, who, of course, has a beautiful daughter. While grace is being said, the daughter crawls under the table and goes down on first Dime and then Jill.

Mayko Nguyen shows breasts bathing topless in a lake, Christie Laing, as a hokker hired by Nick's parents, shows breasts, and there are strippers in a club in Montreal.

IMDb readers have this at 5.4. I have been critical of recent National Lampoon offerings, but this did what a comedy should, it kept me entertained and laughing. It also makes no effort to be more than what it is, irreverent humor. This is a C+.

Cristie Laing

Mayko Nguyen


Today from the Ghost...Skinemax regular Amy Lindsay playing a topless dancer, as well as briefly baring the other 2 B's in scenes from "Forbidden Sins" (1998).

Amy Lindsay

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

The old Time Machine takes off again today to one of my favorite destinations, the Seventies. This time we visit "Ginger", played by Cheri Caffaro as a ball busting private eye-spy. This was the first of a trilogy to be followed by "Girls are for loving" and "The Abductors". "Ginger" was made on the cheap and had only one purpose...nudity and bondage. Cheri had no problem doing both.

So here is Cheri Caffaro. In the very first cap there is a little bit of a twist as she has a "Guy in Bondage". She strips naked, then castrates the poor slob (off-screen). You will have no trouble "spotting the tool" in this scene. Then she blows another dude away while topless.

But off course as we move on, Cheri becomes the naked "Babe in Bondage" as she is tied up and raped by the evil villain

This one is not family entertainment.

Cheri Caffaro

A few nice 'caps by Kitt from the 1998 sex comedy, "Denial". "V.I.P." co-star Leah Lail showed a rare and brief breast view. Meanwhile, the Evil Callisto showed off her fantastic chest is a noisy, sweaty, bouncy, and very realistic sex scene.

This has been a favorite scene of mine forever, and earlier this year Fun House readers voted it into the #3 spot in our "Best Sex Scene" poll.

Hudson Leick

Leah Lail

A quickie from Brainscan:

Here is an edit of some Mariah Carey paparazzi pics. I would say there are only two reasons to like this woman, but that is painfully obvious.

From the is busty blonde starlet Jamie Hagan looking pretty darn good in scenes from "Sex and the Teenage Mind" (2002).

DeLay Prosecutor Subpoenas Director

Ten Pioneers of Striptease

The Smoking Gun has the complete Libby indictment in .pdf format

Dave Barry's pick for headline of the day: "Nazi raccoons invade the wineland" (Although this comes from The Times, "raccoons" is misspelled.) has found Harriet Miers's actual hand-written withdrawal letter.

The teaser for The Libertine

  • "Johnny Depp stars in The Libertine as the scandalously decadent John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester. The film follows the Earl's adventures in London, from his passionate romance with a young actress, Elizabeth Barry (Samantha Morton), to the writing of a scurrilous play which blisteringly and bawdily lampoons the very monarch who commissioned it, Charles II (John Malkovich), leading to the Earl's banishment and eventual downfall. Laurence Dunmore makes an assured directorial debut, creating a period atmosphere that combines the dark debauched underbelly of London with the allure and glamour of the Restoration court."
  • "The most controversial film of the year."

If You Like Hubble Pictures, You'll Love The Large Binocular Telescope. In the coming weeks they're promising pictures of planets in other solar systems.

Sylvester Stallone will add Rambo IV to Rocky VI.

  • I'm still hopeful that they can cut the deals for Stop or My Mom Will Fire Another Round, and Rhinestone 2: The Wrath of Drinkenstein.
  • Do you think he's too old to do Kitty and Stud's Next Party?

Check out Nic Cage's new moustache


Stephen Colbert tells Jeff Daniels about Easter egg hunts at Sly Stallone's house.

Colbert calls Harriet Miers a quitter.

Paris to play Zsa Zsa Gabor? The two women are vaguely kinda-sorta related. Of the entire score of marriages for the three Gabor sisters, they had only one child between them - a daughter from Zsa Zsa's marriage to Conrad Hilton.

Here's something her lawyers might find a challenge to remove from the net: JANET JACKSON SUNBATHING - Google Image Search

World's Top 100 Beers -

Science of Baseball: Can you hit a major league fastball?

The Airbus Remote Control Plane

  • 1.8 million pieces. Some assembly required.

The Daily Show's Samantha Bee takes a look at "the compelling practice" of cannibalism.

Daily Show: "Miers' resignation letter was the first and only document she's released throughout the process."

Jon Stewart discusses the media reaction to The Goodbye Girl

The Daily Show: "In withdrawing, Miers demonstrated the kind of loyalty that could be rewarded with a nomination."

Daily Crossword Puzzle Online

Tampa Bay Devil Rays announce food policy changes: fans allowed to bring food, drinks to home games.

Halloween special: retroCRUSH picks the 100 Greatest Horror Movie Performances

New research shows that the baseball executives at the center of the Black Sox scandal -- Comiskey and American League president Ban Johnson -- had information about the fix before the 1919 World Series had even started.

Pat's comments in yellow...

The Breast Money Can Buy - Jessica Simpson may or may not be having marriage problems, but at least she's topped In Touch magazine's poll for the Best Cleavage in Hollywood. The top ten: Simpson, Salma Hayek, Carmen Electra, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey, Susan Sarandon (at 59, the only star over 50 to make the list) and Nicollette Sheridan. In Touch raved, "With a pair of perfect double D's, Jessica sets the standard for busty bombshells."

  • Jessica also got perfect D's on all her report cards.
  • This is as close as Jessica will ever come to winning a Golden Globe Award.
  • Susan Sarandon is over 50, but she still has a lot of support.

    Extreme Wardrobe Malfunction - After denying she had a secret child, Janet Jackson suffered a new embarrassment this week when a 40-second video clip allegedly showing her sunbathing naked and slapping oil on her rear end appeared on the Internet. Her lawyers had it removed from most sites by Thursday.

  • She wouldn't want any nonexistent secret child of hers to see it!
  • She doesn't want this getting out on the Internet...It's not supposed to air until the next Super Bowl halftime show.

    Why JFK Beat Nixon - An economics professor at the University of Texas confirmed that good looks can help win an election. He studied several years of elections of officers of the American Economic Association and asked four outside observers to rate the attractiveness of the candidates. Good looks helped men more than women, and handsome male candidates had a 56-44 percent advantage over their less attractive opponents.

  • Hillary Clinton beat a good-looking man for Senate, but then, she's a handsome woman.
  • Economists like to vote for perfect 10's.

  • Here are the latest movie reviews available at
    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.