Blueberry (2004) is being released in the US on DVD under the title Renegade. Perhaps they are hoping they can escape all of the bad reviews it received under the original title in Europe. It is a peyote induced metaphysical romp through the old west with about 95 of the 124 minutes taken up with computer generated special effects, and the rest with grainy photography. The plot, approximately, is the Blueberry the main character, is sent west from Louisiana to become a man. He gets into a gun fight over a hooker (Vahina Giocante), who ends up dead, and escapes wounded. He is cured and raised by Indians, then is suddenly marshal of the town. He vows revenge to the man he fought with, who is part of a plot to steal gold from the sacred Indian mountains. Juliette Lewis has a crush on him. Several psychotic breaks later, the bad guy is dead, and he is underwater staring at Lewis' naked crotch (along with us). All of this is loosely based on a French comic book.
This is what the French call "ennui merde" or boring shit. Lewis does a lengthy spread legged full frontal underwater, and Giocante shows breasts and buns. IMDb readers have this at 5.1 of 10. There are exactly two reasons to watch this, Lewis and Giocante. So much for the first and last 5 minutes. The rest is one of the best cures for insomnia I have seen since trying to read the forward to Hegel's Philosophy of History. IF we call this a Western, it is a low D-. No genre over will want to get near it. As a pretentious, overly long French art film, it fairs a little better at C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- The future, Benjamin? Two words:
Actor David Hasselhoff stripped of his driver's license, ordered
to alcohol rehab. Doesn't his car drive itself?
Electoral College Calculus - the "worst case" scenarios
The first look at the trailer for Racing Stripes.
"Racing Stripes" is a Disneyesque tale of a baby zebra named
Stripes who is accidentally abandoned by a traveling circus during
a rainstorm. The helpless zebra foal is discovered by horse
trainer Nolan Walsh, who rescues Stripes and takes him home to
live with him and his young daughter on their modest Kentucky
farm. Stripes and the daughter grow up together as best friends
who share a similar ambition – both dream of racing in the
prestigious Kentucky Open. With the help of his barnyard friends,
Stripes must overcome prejudice and self-doubt to pursue his
lifelong dream of running with the big horses and landing in the
Urban legend: Photograph shows Senator John Kerry shaking hands
with Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan. Status:
President's Remarks to the Ebony Madonna Baptist Church, offering
profound thanks for his 100% increase in support among "colored
Courtney Love has been ordered to stand trial on a felony charge
of assault with a deadly flashlight. Did she shine it
an an albino?
A lot a girls. I'm not sure how to describe this. Just
go there and look, and the pictures are worth 10,000 words.
Actually 10,007 words. Confucius lost count - seven beads fell off
Apple - iPod - Ashlee Simpson Karaoke Edition
O'Reilly settles - pays fair and balanced amount of extortion
Man says live wire in bath was to save marriage. Hey,
he's just trying to rekindle that old spark.
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security sent two agents to a
small toy store in a small town - to remove Magic Cubes from the
shelves. Well, that makes it official. What you don't
know is that was just the last step in the master strategy.
Terrorism is now defeated completely.
A Brazilian legislator wants to make it illegal to give pets names
that are common among people. For example, nothing with
Snoop or Dogg in the name.
Britney Spears 'Not Pregnant'. More important - she will release
topless pics next month!!
BUSH ADMITS LIP-SYNCHING TO TAPE OF CHENEY. Acid Reflux
We regret to announce that Mr Arafat is not able to appear in
tonight's performance. The parts of Gargamel and Papa Smurf will
be played by Red Foxx.
Anne Coulter attends Woodstock 3, prepares to deal with gentle
Here's one for correspondent DB, our specialist in Naked Opera.
Best-picture Oscar picture is fuzzy this year. I was
disappointed to read this article and discover that Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the best movie I've seen this year
by a factor of about three, has already been forgotten.
For your reference, here are all the 2004 films with 90% positive
reviews or better.
Rasmussen's Electoral College projections. Their only
change today: Hawaii out of the "leans Kerry" column and into
- Baseball fans -
SABR's Bill Gilbert takes his comprehensive annual look at the
baseball players who achieve "Triple Milestones" (.300- 30 HR -
The Smoking Gun has the goods on Principal Rooney and his sexual
abuse lawsuit. (He has already pled nolo contendere to
criminal charges relating to the same incidents.)
Electoral-vote.com's daily changes are split in value.
They have placed Ohio in the Kerry column, but have inducted
Michigan into the neutral club. They are currently calling it
260-254 Kerry, rest undecided. (270 needed to win)
The preview trailer for next summer's Chicken Little.
This will probably be the second best movie with "Chicken" in the
title featuring Don Knotts. Good to see Don back from his Berry
Farm and various TV films and working in real movies again, if
only as a voice. The peculiar little feller turned 80 in July.
This will be his first theatrical release since 1998's offbeat
Some stills from Beauty Shop, which is kind of a spin-off from
New stills from Romance and Cigarettes, which sounds
from the description to be kind of a contemporary version of
Pennies From Heaven. (It's a working class lip-synch musical.) The
cast, however, is impressive and eclectic: James Gandolfini, Susan
Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Mandy Moore, Mary-Louise Parker,
Christopher Walken, Aida Turturro, Bobby Cannavale.
New stills from Art School Confidential, which seems to
have great potential for suckage.
New stills from the Steve Martin (slash) Kevin Kline remake of The
New stills of the remake of The Amityville Horror.
New stills from Into the Blue, which means pics of Jessica Alba in
New stills from Be Cool, the sequel to Get Shorty.
- Halloween Quiz:
What's Your Ghost Story I.Q.?
"It is entirely possible that there has never been a more showy
and shameless attempt at award importuning than Nicole Kidman's
performance in Birth." I suppose the general sentiment
is accurate, but the reviewer has apparently not seen Emma
Thompson's deranged over-the-top hambone performance in "Angels in
Will initials carved on the side of a tree always remain at about
the same height?
Bush Looks Solid in Florida; Iowa and Pennsylvania Still in Play.
Gallup shows the President with a commanding eight point lead
among likely voters in the Sunshine and Hanging Chad State. And
that's gross, not net. Add in the vote fraud, he might win by 50.
I've made fun of Japanese TV in the past, but I have to admit that
any country that allows torturing cats on television is all right
Cher Song Dropped From Movie Soundtrack: "Cher's title
song for the remake of 'Alfie' has reportedly been dropped after
test audiences laughed at the track. That's ironic, because Cher
sang the theme for the original 1966 movie." She took some time
off to record that in middle of her farewell tour. In fact, when
Edison heard the first recording of Mary Had a Little Lamb in
1877, it was actually a Cher album he picked up at a bathhouse in
New Jersey, from the early stages of her farewell tour.
- OK, I was just kidding about Cher. She did not start her
farewell tour until 1879.
Here's Edison himself speaking the words to Mary Had a Little Lamb
"Some Fear Ohio Will Be the Florida of 2004". Not to
fear. Florida is still making the fullest efforts to remain the
Florida of this and many elections to come.
- Must-see video:
George Bush offers the one fingered victory salute
The Sun says Britney Spears is preggers.
Wow, life is good. Lots of jumbo-ass pictures of Anna Kournikova's
The Top 100 Albums of the 1990s
The ten worst cover songs of all time.
During surgery, Bill Clinton had visions of death, supersized
- "I saw, like, dark masks crushing, like death masks being
crushed, in series. Then I'd see these great circles of light.
And then, like, Hillary's picture or Chelsea's face would appear
on the light, and then they'd fly off into the dark."
- I have to admit it's logical. Hillary's picture would
probably scare off even the Grim Reaper. Especially if she was
nude. From the rear. "Whoa, I ain't takin' this guy while he has
these pictures. That shit's scary!"
- Daydream Le Beaver?
The Chicago Tribune pulls an article called "You c_nt say that (or
can you?)". Written by free-lancer Lisa Bertagnoli, it
tunneled into the discussion of whether the C word is still a
feared snapping turtle of a taboo, or is now a mere pussycat. The
piece never used the offending word but, by providing rhyming
words and thinking outside the box, it exposed twat they were
talking about. The offending "Lifestyle" sections were snatched in
time by the editors, who clammed up when called for a comment.
Many readers found a gaping hole in their papers where the
Lifestyle section should have been.
A Sun-Times correspondence between the publisher and Roger Ebert.
The Onion's Countdown To The Recount, 2004
Red Sox Fans Who "Can Now Die Happy", All Die
Nicole Kidman says that Baz Luhrmann's version of Alexander the
Great will not be made.
Does a movie review have any impact on the film's popularity?
"My name is Alex, and I'm about to get my balls waxed"
This is for real, I guess.
Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote Next Wednesday.
"What kind of church passes out penis candy?" I don't
know, but I'll bet Elton John has been known to play the organ
Bryce Dallas Howard (The Village) will play the title role in the
historical drama 'Mary Queen of Scots'
Thora Birch and Harry Connick Jr. will star in 'Boomerang Deal',
an Australian comedy about an unlikely couple that could easily
fall in love if they only managed to get along.
RealClear Politics - Polls Update. Today's update is
not good for Kerry. RCP has moved Pennsylvania from Kerry Blue to
Neutral White, based on the last four polls. Those four polls show
Kerry barely hanging on to the state, with +3, +3, -2, and even.
Jessica Simpson's husband, Nick Lachey, could be in hot water with
his ditzy missus over published reports that he two-timed her with
porn star Jessica Jaymes at a wild bachelor party.
- Weekly World News:
FORGET ABOUT THE FACE ON MARS... NASA PROBE HAS SPOTTED THE BUTT
Here is Eminem's controversial anti-Bush video.
The trailer for Ring 2.
The first-ever look at a trailer for Devil's Rejects, the sequel
to House of 1000 Corpses. This one centers on a band of
bounty hunters led by Sheriff Wydell's brother. The film will pick
up shortly after the first film ended, with the Firefly clan going
on the road after their house is burned down and a few family
members have been gunned down during a police raid.
COMEDY CENTRAL's preview of Drawn Together, the cartoon parody of
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Stripped to Kill, Part 4
There are about a zillion of these Grade B stripper
movies with similar titles. This one is better than most. It is
unusual in three ways (1) No Maria Ford!! (2) While it will not be
confused with a David Mamet script, it does have a fairly
interesting plot with some clever twists (3) It stars mainstream
actress Key Lenz as an undercover cop posing as a stripper.
You can find Lenz in the Tuesday page. Here is
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hi Scoopy !
As promised I'm back with new stuff.
Here's some caps and clips of Catherine Zeta-Jones in her debut
film, 1990's "Les 1001 Nuits" (aka. 1001 Nights; Sheherazade). I
don't remember much of the film except that it is a very
lighthearted comedy without pretension about Sheherazade and the
1001 Nights tale. Or to use the words of French magazine DVDmania
it is "a farce that would have quickly become pathetic if it had
taken itself seriously".
It is available on Region 2 DVD in France with French audio only
in a 98 mintues version but, still according to DVDmania, the
picture quality isn't great. "The omnipresence of grain and the
frequent burnt-in spots (burns?) damage the quality of the image
as a whole" are their findings and they rate it 2 stars out of 5
(most DVD's get 3 or 4 stars). If I remember correctly this flick
first aired as a TV movie in two parts. I don't find any reference
of this in the IMDb, nor is it on the DVD. Does any one know more
Anyway this comes from German digital TV and provides some extra
material (breasts and buns) for that topless club she now has
That's it for now.
- Zeta-Jones thumbnails of the still captures
- The still capture collection. (1,
- Film clip #1. Zeta strips for the Sheikh, shows her thong-clad
bum. Matches first two stills. (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
- Film clip #2. Not much nudity at all. The continuation of the
scene above. (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
- Film clip #3. Excellent nudity. Zeta flies through the air
topless, then lands stark naked in some guy's lap. Matches stills
3-13. (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
- Film clip #4. No nudity, but she looks mighty sweet in that
sea-shell bikini. Matches last three stills. (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost serves up an excellent batch of 'caps and vids from the Skinemax flick "Passion's Peak" (2000).
- Devinn Lane...the adult actress and director shows off her big'uns in several scenes. In links 7 and 8 she is fully nude, but it's a side view with boobage only.
- Devinn Lane zipped .wmv In this video clip, she strips out of her clothes revealing thong views and toplessness (see image links 9 and 10 for stills from this scene).
- Former Miss USA (1991) Kelli McCarty. In these 'caps we see her topless in at least 2 love scenes, one shower scene and one bath tub scene.
- Kelli McCarty zipped .wmvs. Vids 1 and 2 are love scenes. Vids 3 and 4 are bathing scenes.
- Monique Parent (who for some reason went by the name Scarlet Johansing for this movie). Here she is showing off her silly-cones during some kind of solo scene.
- Monique Parent zipped .wmv
- Renee Rea (billed as Samantha McConnell). Here she is also going topless in a love scene.
- Renee Rea zipped .wmv
'Caps and comments by Dann:
When it first aired, I was excited to see this 2003 HBO movie, because I love fight films, I like John Leguizamo, and I think Vanessa Ferlito has a very sexy and hot quality. Well, I got some of it right.
Vanessa looked great in the movie, and Suzy McCoppin makes a believable call girl. Otherwise, the movie falls short.
As a fight film which shows the rise of an amateur fighter to professional champion, it's extremely sterotyped and predictable. There isn't one unique thing in this movie, and the ending doesn't exist. The movie doesn't end, it stops.
HBO has produced some great movies, but this isn't one of them. I saw this movie when it first aired, but even though I was disappointed in the movie, and even though it's been widely capped, I still wanted it for my collection, so here goes.
|For my money, I'm willing to bet that Regis' co-host is "not quite right in the head". But she sure does look good in a sexy nurse outfit. Here are some 'caps of the overly tanned Ripa from her her sit-com "Hope and Faith".
||The French actress showing off some very lovely toplessness and rear nudity in scenes from "Le Sens des affaires" (2000).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Spanish babe topless in scenes from "La Niña de tus ojos" aka "The Girl of Your Dreams" (1998).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
RED SOX BREAK 86-YEAR LOSING STREAK
Finally, They Can Change Their Sox! - Last night, Boston Red Sox fans
worldwide celebrated wildly as the Sox beat the Cardinals 3-0 to sweep the
World Series, finally lifting the "Curse of the Bambino." The last time
they won it was in 1918, when World War I was still on, Lindbergh was a
teenager, John F. Kennedy was a baby, radio was just starting, and
penicillin didn't exist.
Actually, not having penicillin was "the curse of the Bambino."
It was also the year of the great flu epidemic, and the Red Sox won
because all the other teams were home in bed.
That, And Seeing The Browns Win The Super Bowl - One excited lifelong Sox
fan was Fred Hale Sr. of Syracuse, New York, documented as the world's
oldest man at 113. After waiting 86 years, he said the thing he most
wanted to see before he died was the Sox winning the Series again.
And now, he has nothing to live for...Thanks a lot, Red Sox!
His next goal is to live 86 more years and see them make it a two-fer.
JUDGE THROWS A PARTY FOR CRIMINAL SENTENCING
Texas Justice - Billy Wayne Williams of Dallas, Texas, had a long criminal
record when he was accused of choking his girlfriend until she passed out.
He jumped bail, was convicted in absentia, and captured last week. He
arrived in court to find a surprise: Judge Faith Johnson had decorated the
room with balloons and streamers and had a cake with his name and a candle
representing his one year on the lam. She said, "We're so excited to see
you, we're throwing a party for you," then sentenced him to life. A member
of the Texas Commission on Judicial Conduct said she found it "troubling,"
and that the whole purpose seemed to be to make Williams feel bad.
Bad?! He got cake!
Right...so what's the troubling part?
This is Texas: he should be grateful the judge didn't throw a necktie
party for him.
ED WOOD'S FINAL FILM FOUND
Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Something From The Coven - The lost final film of
legendary "worst director of all time," Ed Wood, maker of "Plan 9 From
Outer Space," is finally out on DVD this week from the Fleshbot porn
website. Biographer Rudolph Grey searched for "Necromania" for 15 years.
It's a 1971 porn film made when Wood was desperate for money, about a
couple seeking sexual help from a coven of witches. Grey said it's low
budget porn and the actors are hairy, but it has a story, and like all
Wood's films, it's either "pure genius" or "so bad, it's good." For
instance, the leading man spends 15 seconds trying to untangle a pair of
pajama bottoms and cracks up laughing. Wood could have cut that out, but
left it in.
It was either a bold artistic statement or he was staring at someone's
boobs and didn't notice.
The pajamas were tangled in his leg hair.
During the three-way sex scene, he keeps cutting to stock
footage of Bela Lugosi.
If only "Gigli" could've been THIS bad!