Lipstick (1976) is not a great movie. In point of fact, it could easily have been an afternoon special, other than the nudity of star Margaux Hemingway. Those who read Scoops review already know the plot about the rising model who is raped by her kid sister's music teacher. I would like to weigh in on some of the controversial questions concerning this film. First, was the length of the rape scene, and the nudity necessary? My answer is an emphatic yes.

The entire point of the film was that Hemingway was violated by her rapist, then by the courts, then by the jury. For us to see that, we needed to know beyond any doubt that she was the victim of a vicious rape. As to her voice, and uneven line delivery, I am not so sure it was a mistake in casting, but rather a choice. Her character was actually two women, one, a rising professional supermodel, supposed to be every woman's ideal of what they would like to be. The other was a rather quiet, naive, and trusting Catholic girl, dedicated to her baby sister. There was a point to this duality in her character. The jury believed the femme fatal supermodel persona, even though that was just an act.

As for the ending, I can only think of it as fantasy. In the real world, Hemingway would be doing time, and her sister would be the object of a wrongful death suit. The fantasy ending did show the writer's idea of justice. So how good is the movie? Just mediocre. Mariel Hemingway, as the little sister, was outstanding, the messages of the film were well-intentioned, and it does give some insight into the mind of the rape victim. To those who always claim that a graphic rape scene is misogynistic, nonsense. Rape scenes that show it for the violent violation of women that it is are pro-woman. Any attempt to show a rape as possibly justified because she was asking for it, or as just an over-eager consentual sex act is misogynistic. This film generated way more controversy than it deserved, partly because it was a story that had no been told before as graphically. I have to wonder how sincere those who have recently commented that the rape scene is very disturbing are. I think it is worth watching for any fan of either Hemingway sister, otherwise, there are many better choices for the same story. C-.

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  • Margaux Hemingway (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    There are two reasons why the March 21, 1966 edition of Newsweek is now memorable:

    • it was the issue which first quoted John Lennon's declaration that, "we're more popular than Jesus now"
    • it featured an anonymous, pretty young woman on the cover - a symbol of the new youth movement in America. That woman would later become quite famous on a TV series called WKRP. Yes, she had a sex change and played Les Nessman. No, of course I'm fuckin' witcha. She played Bailey Quarters. Here is the cover which featured a 16 year old Jan Smithers. I would love to have a better version of this, if any of you have one.

    Smithers almost completely disappeared from the public eye in the late 80s. She was married to, then divorced from, James Brolin, who is now famous or infamous as Mr Babs. In a short stint in the public eye, Smithers left behind no nudity for us to remember her by.


    2 Days in the Valley (1996):

    The success of Pulp Fiction must have been a liberating thing for many in the industry, including writer/director John Herzfeld. Herzfeld had been in the industry for about a quarter of a century when he made this movie, and his only theatrical feature film was made 13 year earlier  - something called Two of a Kind, starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, featuring Gene Hackman as God. I'm not kidding. I haven't seen Two of a Kind, but I guess it must be just about as good as it sounds, scoring in the Ed Wood range at IMDb, with 3.7/10.

    Herzfeld must have looked at Short Cuts (1993) and Pulp Fiction (1994) and thought "I can do that". So he did, and he did it well, despite having nothing in his previous decades in the industry that would show him capable of this film. 2 Days in the Valley is one part Tarantino and one part Altman, but Herzfeld has more heart than either of those directors. From Tarantino, Herzfeld got the strange combination of violence and comedy, and the admixture of cosmic or life-endangering events (murder and kidnap plots) with everyday dialogue about food and pets and other mundane matters. From Altman, he got the general feel of a large ensemble cast of superb actors playing interesting characters, in a plot in which none of them can emerge as a star, but all can shine in their moments. I guess that Danny Aiello has the most important role, but I wouldn't call him the star. There is no star. It is true ensemble acting.

    The storyline follows all the parties in a murder. First we see the crime being committed by two men. Then we see one of the killers kill the other, after having planted some incriminating evidence at the murder scene which would tie the killed man to the crime. Seems neat enough.

    Except that the dead killer is not dead at all. He was wearing a protective vest, and now must flee for his life. He ends up taking refuge in the home of a whiny rich art dealer and his devoted secretary. They are eventually joined by the art dealer's sister and a suicidal movie director. So the runaway would-be hit man suddenly finds himself with four hostages.

    Meanwhile, the other hit man and his moll get together with their client, who turns out to be a woman who ordered the original hit on her husband in order to collect on a fat insurance policy. The squabbles and in-fights of these baddies also touch upon a vice detective who really wants to be in homicide, and turns out to be much too eager about investigating the crime, because he gets close enough to the truth that the hit man needs him out of the way.

    Those nine characters lives keep winding together in very clever ways, so that we know the two hit men must inevitably confront each other.

    It's a clever movie. The script is contrived, but you will have no trouble forgiving that because of the sheer entertainment value of the film, and the emotional rewards it supplies. Although it is filled with violence and cruelty, it also provides a very satisfying and almost too sentimental denouement for the characters who seem to deserve good luck.

    Danny Aiello is very amusing as the hit man who gets set up as a patsy and narrowly escapes dying himself. He plays this character as a remarkably human person, a guy who could easily be your uncle. His pride is wounded because he's been working at a pizza parlor. He stops everything to adjust his bad toupee. He is afraid of dogs. He is so hungry that he cooks himself a gourmet meal while holding a gun on his hostages. He rightfully chastises the rich man for failing to respect and cherish his secretary.

    Most of the characters are drawn with similar depth and affection, especially Eric Stoltz as the naive cop who really wants to get into homicide, and director Paul Mazursky as a washed-up and suicidal director.

    I must be director Herzfeld's biggest fan, because I seem to like this movie more than anyone else does, and I was about the only person in the world who thought his follow-up, 15 Minutes, was very close to genius, a skillful blend of action film and social satire. I believe I wrote that it was "the brilliant satire which Natural Born Killers should have been". Chances are you won't like his films as much as I do, but I recommend them for fans of Tarantino and/or Altman.

    • Charlize Theron (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) plays an ice cold Swedish gun moll, with nothing on her mind but sex and murder. Charlize's acting career has taken a radically different turn since this movie, so it is a lot of fun to look back on this earlier period, to see her playing an evil woman and doing explicit sex scenes. She also does a memorable catfight with Teri Hatcher.
    • Teri Hatcher (1, 2, 3)


    Love the Hard Way (2001 or 2003 - take your pick. It started hitting the festival circuit in 2001, had a brief theatrical release this summer.)

    Typical romantic urban street melodrama. Round up the usual plot. Sweet straight-A student from Columbia falls in love with a small time con artist. Turns out he's a soulful guy working on a novel, and she really has the potential to fit into his criminal world. Unfortunately, police detective Pam Greer (working undercover in one of Huggy Bear's old costumes), manages to make life really miserable for the hustler, and sends him to the slammer. And he's luckier than the college student.

    Pretty much pure baloney. Take away the nudity, and the only reason to watch is Oscar winner Adrien Brody as the lovable, shy street hustler with a deep soul or some such crap.

    Anyway, fuck the plot. It's really not a bad movie (Roger Ebert awarded a triplet), but nobody is ever going to see it. It isn't good enough to wow the arthouse crowd, and it's too gritty for mass audience appeal. It grossed a whopping $43,000 in the USA, and it took six weeks to get that much!

    So when you discuss this film, and you won't, only three words are important: Charlotte Ayanna topless. The incredibly beautiful Ayanna has four, count 'em four, sex scenes in this movie, and her exposure gets progressively better as the movie progresses. It starts out as dark stuff, Ayanna underneath, with a hint of nipple in a frame or two, but by the end of the movie she's topless, facing the camera, in pretty good light.

    She is one beautiful young woman. Junior and I were both ready to propose to her after Dancing at the Blue Iguana, and she looks every bit as good here.






  • Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

  • Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    It was an SNL skit, with Phil Hartman I think. He looks at the camera and says, "I'm not a real actor. I just play one on television." In a similar way, these caps are of women who are not actresses, they just play one on DVD.

    What I've gone and done here is cap a couple of DVDs with no plots. no acting, just nekkid babes running around. Sorta like a Tinto Brass film.

    In keeping... sort of... with a recurring theme of mine, a recurring nightmare of yours, or wet dream of some, most of the babes posted today have posed for the Hefmag. They have not achieved the lofty status of Hefmates, but they have got down and dirty in one of the Chicago-based publications.

    First DVD is entitled Luscious Liquids. Entertaining piece of fluff, complete with interviews and behind the scenes stuff and then a lot of serious posing. All the babes do the triple-B bosa nova.

    Those babes include Elina Gianni, Myla Martin, Shyra Deland and Brandi Coppock, the last of whom resembles Daryl Hannah. Which reminds me. Meant to congratulate Scoopy Jr for posting pictures of Lori Singer last week without referring to her as the poor man's Daryl Hannah. A moment in history.

    A quick note about Myla Martin. She had a short scene in Rowdy Girls, that magnum opus starring both Shannon Tweed and Julie Strain. Myla didn't take her clothes off in that one, which pissed me off mightily because she looked so yummy (yumminess demonstrated here).

    Well, she more than sorta made up for that sin of omission in Luscious Liquids. She is nekkid, nekkider and nekkidest while showing off a bum that could make a grown man swoon.

    • Elina Gianni (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Myla Martin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Shyra Deland (1, 2)
    • Brandi Coppock (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Second DVD is entitled Bikini Showgirls. It has two women of very different body types.

    Erin Kay is a cute little thing, with a svelt, attractive and natural body. In contrast, Summer Leigh is a larger gal with a couple post-factory, off-the-shelf add-ons. I'm just sure someone finds her attractive.

    • Erin Kay (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Summer Leigh (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Scorpion's Skinemax
    'Caps and comments by Scoprion:

    Thought I'd dig into my VHS vault for this batch.

    Darlene Sellers

    Shelby Lane

    Veronica Cash
    (1, 2)

    From the early 90's erotic thriller, "The Pamela Principle". Plently of breasts, bums and pseudo-sex.

    Robin Mattson The long time day time soap actress topless in a shower scene from "Take Two" (1988).

    Diana Barton

    Kathy Shower

    Samantha Phillips

    Scenes from "Sexual Malice" (1994). Baton goes topless and full frontal, former Heffer Kathy Shower goes topless and the former Pet Sam Phillips also goes topless and shows off a little bum.

    Jennifer Lopez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    J-Lo in a bikini and showing off her massive posterior.

    Nicole Eggert
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Great collages by DeadLamb featuring the former "Baywatch" babe baring pre-implant breasts and bum views in several sex scenes from the recently released DVD of the Two-Corey's movie, "Blown Away" (1992).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    I-Rock, Dude! - Matt Drudge reports that Ashton Kutcher is getting involved in politics by hosting a $1,000-a-plate fundraiser for struggling Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards. A source close to the Hollywood hottie said, "Ashton has been brushing up on all the issues."

  • Like Medicare and Social Security, which his girlfriend taught him about.
  • And he's old enough to vote now!
  • Why, he knows almost as much about foreign policy as Barbra Streisand!
  • He also really admires the way John Edwards can talk to people's dead grandmothers.
  • Who would pay $1,000 for a hot dog, some Kool-Aid and a Twinkie?

    Spare The Rod - In an interview with Radio Times magazine, Rod Stewart took some unusual swipes at his fellow rock stars. He called his old pal Elton John a "miserable bugger" who has fake-looking hair and needs to lose weight, and mocked Sting as "Mr. Serious who helps the Indians." He also said it's not fair that people knock him for dating younger women when they don't knock Paul McCartney for marrying someone much younger. Rod said it may be because Paul has a knighthood, which he's never gotten, even though "I do my bit for charity."

  • He's very involved with wayward girls.
  • The Queen is thinking of dubbing him "Sir Gripes-a-lot."
  • He dates younger women because they're the only ones who'll put up with his complaining.
  • Believe it or not, Rod's hair is REAL.

    I'm Like, Really? - Britney Spears unloaded to Newsweek magazine, saying that after Justin Timberlake broke up with her and revealed on TV that they'd had sex, "I was like, 'Okay, I'm over men. They're mean. For like six months, not a single thing happened. Not like they weren't drawn to me, but there wasn't a single real attraction. I'm like, 'What's happening? I know I'm not a lesbian.'"

  • No, a lesbian would do things like kissing Madonna.
  • She's not a lesbian, she just plays one on TV.
  • Sex with Justin has a way of turning women INTO lesbians.
  • She's, like, an idiot.

    She Means "Undressing" - Britney also thinks she may have gone too far with her recent near-nude photo shoots. She explained, "I was in a moment. I had, like, eight Red Bulls and said, 'OK, let's do it.' I learned my lesson and you won't see me like that for a while. I'm kinda over it myself. Not that it's dirty or tacky, but it is really revealing, and I wouldn't want my kid, at 21, to be dressing like that."

  • At this rate, by the time her kid is 21, singers will be performing on TV stark naked.
  • She had, like, eight Red Bulls and said, "Okay, let's do it"... That's also how Justin says she lost her virginity.
  • So Red Bulls make her rip her clothes off? Buy stock in Red Bull! Guys are about to buy a billion cans of it for women!
  • Britney makes Jessica Simpson look like Stephen Hawking.