Ghost Rock (2003), which IMDb calls The Reckoning is a Kung Fu Western. A young man witnessed a massacre, and is coming home as an adult to clean up the town. The town is being run by the very man who did the dirty work, and also killed his own brother and blamed it on our hero. I won't go into all of the characters, as one of the major faults of the film is way to many characters. It is a rough and tumble world full of shoot outs and martial arts, and just enough time to show breasts from saloon girl Christa Sauls.
The dialogue is among the worst I have heard. It sounds like a precocious 7 year old watched the TV series Kung Fu, and then came up with a bunch of wise sayings for the script. An example is, "Are you dying to live, or living to die?" The acting isn't much better, and the plot is hard to follow. The plot is less of a problem, as the film clearly leads up to a colossal shoot out, and none of the plot nuances need be understood to anticipate that ending.
IMDb readers have this at 2.6 of 10. I will say that some of the photography was rather nice, but this was otherwise very forgettable. D.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The first version of Alfie, made in 1966, made Michael Caine a star,
and there is really nothing so bad about the 2004 remake. Jude Law
distinguishes himself by bringing to the role more depth and
sensitivity than were present in the original, and his conversations
with the camera are natural and convincing. That stands as a strong
positive for Jude, because having natural conversations with a
camera is not an easy thing for an actor to do. In many ways, he did
a better job than Michael Caine did in the original movie.
The problem with the remake is that it is nothing
You see, the first movie was a very special epiphany
for many people at the time it was released. After the repressive
50s and before the cultural and feminist revolution of the late 60s,
there was a brief period of male-dominated sexual liberation which
was characterized by carefree hedonism. The symbols of this time
were Frank Sinatra, John F. Kennedy, and Hugh Hefner, swingin'
ring-a-ding guys who were out to score with the broads and dames of
Alfie came out with thinking that was nearly
revolutionary in its day - that the self-gratifying Sinatra-style
hedonism might be bad for a man not because there was anything
morally or theologically wrong with it, but because it was an empty
and shallow lifestyle that was going to lead to loneliness. This was
a new concept at the time, because the previous criticisms of that
lifestyle had been concentrated on external other-directed and
morality-driven rationale. "You shouldn't live like this because you
are hurting other people", or "you are offending God". or "you are
treating women like objects." Alfie, on the other hand, attacked the
swinging Playboy lifestyle from a pragmatic standpoint. "You
shouldn't live like this because in the long run you are hurting
That made a lot of sense in the context of the time,
because it lent perspective to a cultural trend which needed
perspective. After decades of sexual repression, a lot of men, even
very thoughtful men, saw Sinatra and Hefner as the prophets of a new
age. After all, they were rebelling against a Puritanism that needed
to be rebelled against, right? Alfie came along to say, "Yes,
rebellion is necessary, and a new age is necessary, but this
hedonism is only the first step, just the brief window of libertine
behavior that always occurs whenever freedom replaces long-standing
repression. We need to move on from here."
And the movie's thinking was prescient. Society did
move on from there. Within a year or two, the Summer of Love had
happened, the cultural revolution had begun, the sexual revolution
had truly begun, and Sinatra and Hefner, who had seemed like
cultural prophets in 1963, suddenly seemed in 1968 like
dinosaurs from a long-forgotten past.
The problem with the remake is that all that cultural
perspective is now lost. A story which once symbolized and
summarized an entire time and place has now become just a story,
nothing more. And it isn't even a very realistic story any more. In
the early 60s, the choice between hedonism and restraint was simply
an intellectual or ethical decision that tested one's capacity for
long-term thinking. There was no AIDS. There was no feminism. Even
herpes had yet to be mentioned outside of medical journals. In our
time, it is much more difficult to be a hedonist. The decision to
commit to a series of casual sexual encounters is no longer just a
personal ethical choice. Even assuming you can find the women
willing to co-operate in the first place, the choice can be a matter
of life and death. Yet our Jude Law version of Alfie does not
acknowledge the realities of sexual promiscuity in the 21st century.
He simply romps about latter day New York as if he were Michael
Caine getting some ring-a-ding in a 60s England which swung like a
The remake is not a bad movie, mind you. You won't
come out of the theater muttering about it being shite. It's just
not special, and you might emerge wondering why they bothered making
it in the first place.
Sienna Miller .jpgs (1,
Sienna Miller film clip (.zipped .wmv) NOTE: the sound is too loud.
If you just turn it down a bit, you'll get rid of most of the
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Two guys caught me goofing off on this film:
Thanks to Spaz, master of all things Canadian, for clearing up a
plot point and for a positive ID of the boat chick in Dawn of the
Dead as Luigia Zucaro. (Good thing she's Canadian, or we'd never
Just filling in a plothole here.
The first part of the video footage shown at the end comes from a
videocamera they found on Steve's boat. Steve never made it back to
the boat so the footage of him and the naked woman (Luigia Zucaro)
must have been shot on a previous boat trip before the zombies went
wild. Canadian scoopsters may remember Luigia Zucaro's photospread
from UMM magazine (a Canadian FHM knockoff).
Thanks to Brian L for finding a little more nudity in this flick.
Hey, I caught yesterday's Fun House and
read your comments. I don't know which version of DOTD you
watched but the unrated DVD version contains one more scene of
nudity than the one you mentioned.
The additional nudity features the curly
long haired blonde in the film. Her name is Kim Poirier and,
according to the search I did on Google, she is a
model/actress. Anyway, the scene I am referring too occurs
after her group gets to the mall. She is in one of the stores
trying on lingerie and then you see her and the stuck-up guy
having sex in a store. Her left nipple pops out of her bra
while he gets her from behind. While it is a quick cut, it is
shown and I thought I'd let you know.
For completeness sake.
I wasn't sure which version you
had reviewed, and I don't know if the scene I mentioned was in
the "R-rated" version or not.
Scoop's note: I don't know whether it's in the R-rated version either! I
actually watched the unrated version, but I just plain missed
The Daily Show looks at the innate incompetence of early voting in
Red Sox take a 4-0 lead in games, set the stage to lose five in a
row for heartbreaking 5-4 loss. Wait a minute. It's
best of seven. THEY FUCKING WON!
- Interesting book review:
Will in the World. How Shakespeare became Shakespeare.
Empire Movies: an interview with Jamie Foxx. A great
actor, and Connie Mack's favorite ballplayer.
You don't think Darth Cheney is patriotic? He even breaks out in
red, white and blue hives..
- Further proof of a benevolent intelligence guiding the
Madonna and Guy Richie to make another movie together.
- Here we go again.
Florida mysteriously loses 58,000 absentee ballots.
- We can be thankful for scheduling conflicts.
Queen Latifah was originally cast to play Halle Berry's role in
Monster's Ball. And she says she was gonna do the sex
scene, albeit with Robert DeNiro instead of Billy Bob Thornton.
Who was voted movie villain of the year? Despite stiff
competition from Doctor Octopus from Spider-Man 2 and Leatherface
from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the winner was President Bush in
Porn for Geeks
- The National Enquirer claims:
President Clinton is fighting a blood infection and may have
suffered possible brain damage. All Presidents seem to
get this brain damage eventually. Clinton is one of the few to
have it happen after he left office. Seriously, Clinton's weakness
explains his recent decision to cut back on the campaigning he
once hoped to do.
Did the Corinthians ever write back?
The Smoking Gun has the goods on the Florida man who tried to run
his Cadillac over controversial Republican Katherine Harris.
- From the ground-breaking team of scientists at Weekly World
ROLE-PLAYING DURING (pre-conceptive) SEX DETERMINES YOUR KID'S
FUTURE. You need an idea for your movie? How about a
world where everything in Weekly World News is true.
- From Cremation Systems, Inc.
Place your loved one's ashes in a little yellow Duckie.
The perfect way to treasure her memory while you entertain the
li'l ones at bathtime!
- I could say that reality TV has hit a new "low point", but
that might be a bit obvious. Fox presents
"The Littlest Groom." Mad Max, meet Mad Min. Twelve
tiny women enter, one leaves with a tiny fellow.
The trailer and a stills gallery from Closer. This is
an adaptation of Patrick Marber's acclaimed play and revolves
around two couples. When the guy from the first couple links up
with the girl from the other couple, the group dynamic turns ugly.
The film stars Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman, and Clive
Scientists discover an ancient race of 'Little People'.
Believe it or not, we had pre-modern human ancestors smaller than
Tom Cruise. I learned a lot from this article. Anthropologists
discuss something called The Wallace Line, which distinguishes the
evolutionary path of species on islands which have never been
connected to a continent, as opposed to islands which have broken
off from the mainland over time. Isolated Pacific islands to the
East of the Wallace Line have a species rule based upon the size
of a rabbit - given an absence of predators, island creatures
smaller than rabbits tend to breed upward in size, while creatures
larger then rabbits breed downward. Rabbits, presumably, stay the
same. The net effect is that all species approach the same size.
The new mini-human finding is important because it is the first
known case of humans or primates conforming to the rabbit rule.
JoBlo came up with a super-jumbo-ass picture of Bale in the
Batsuit. (Click on the one you see to get to the larger
Western women don't know squat. Scientists have
concluded that white women squat no better than white men jump.
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry is excited to say he's covering the
election, and not just because he's contractually obligated to
make that claim.
Here's the trailer for the STV haunted house flick, The Dark.
It stars Anna Paquin, Lena Olin, Iain Glen, and a man I like to
think of as the Italian Olivier, Giancarlo Giannini. You have to
love a film that uses the word "heinous" in the official synopsis,
but features neither Bill nor Ted. In other news,
straight-to-video films have trailers.
Eight clips from Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. In
a weird time-space paradox, the length of the clips is now
hundreds of times greater than the actual running time of the
film. To make the puzzle even more mystifying, the length of time
Hugh Grant is on screen in these clips is longer than Hugh Grant's
Incredibly obnoxious German TV commercial for K-fee, a
caffeine-enhanced energy boosting drink.
Joi Ito's Web: www.georgewbush.com blocks access outside the USA.
For some reason not clear to me, but subjected to endless
speculation at this blog, the President's official re-election
home page seems to have intentionally or unintentionally blocked
access to anyone outside North America. This includes the
countries in the coalition of the willing. It can not be accessed
in Norway, Australia, or England, for example.
In My Arms - a web site dedicated entirely to movie images of men
(or monsters) carrying women.
Viral Gods - lots of weird and interesting clips
The Toronto Star has published this new photo of Michael Chiklis
as The Thing on the Vancouver Fantastic Four set. It's
probably one of the best looks yet at the full costume for the
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Stripped to Kill, Part 3
There are about a zillion of these Grade B stripper
movies with similar titles. This one is better than most. It is
unusual in three ways (1) No Maria Ford!! (2) While it will not be
confused with a David Mamet script, it does have a fairly
interesting plot with some clever twists (3) It stars mainstream
actress Key Lenz as an undercover cop posing as a stripper.
You can find Lenz in the Tuesday page. Here is Lucia
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
A few video clips today. Zipped divx .avis as usual...
First up is Kim Evenson (Hefmate for Sept '84) in a movie entitled The Big Bet. Kim was in one of the later Porky's movies as a foreign exchange student who got nekkid (in Hollywood, don't they all?) and in Kandyland as a gal who becomes a stripper (again, in Hollywood, don't they all?). Here she plays the gorgeous lust-interest of a geeky guy who resists but then puts out in the end (in Holywood... oh, never mind)
Next is Petra Verkaik (Hefmate for Dec '89) in Speedway. She uses her shirt to start an illegal drag race. Me thinks that gives an unfair advantage to her boyfriend... been there, done those.
Ruthy Ross (Miss June '73) in The Centerfold Girls. The gal with whom she is posing topless is Jennifer Ashley.
And a former Pet (Dec '81 and the year of '82) Sheila Kennedy in Elle. Sheila plays Elle, who in this scene disrobes to send her step-brother to his death. The jumpiness of the clip comes from the editing: I cut out her ugly stepbrother and kept Elle. It seemed like the right thing to do.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...a blast from the past with Angie Dickinson. Here she is showing some partial breast views in scenes from the 1969 western "Sam Whiskey", starring Burt Reynolds.
- Angie Dickinson
- Angie Dickinson zipped .wmvs
Hardcore'caps and comments by The Gimp:
As Brainscan promised in the 10/26 update...Here are some vidcap collages of Aylarr Dianati Lie aka Persian Princess Diana aka the former Miss Norway contestant who was given the boot for making "naughy" films in the US. Here she is being naughty in Brand New 2. The first one is tame, but the next seven follow Diana as she entertains two guys. Not a thing left to anyone's imagination.
- Aylarr Dianati Lie aka Persian Princess Diana
Here is another collage of Aylar made from the trailer to Breakin' Em In. This one pretty much cuts straight to the chase.
Another batch of HDTV 'caps from prime time. Today DeadLamb features three very hot ladies from the new ABC hit series "Desperate Housewives".
- The amazingly gorgeous Eva Longoria. The sports bra in #2 is good, but the sexy undies in #3 are even better.
- Nicolette Sheridan, showing plenty of cleavage and wearing short-shorts while doing the sexy, soapy car washing thing.
- Teri Hatcher wearing nothing, but covering the goods with assorted shrubbery.
|Rosie showing off tons of cleavage while guest hosting the Late Late Show.
|Topless in a sweaty sex scene, and again while sun bathing topless in scenes from the 1999 remake of "The Thomas Crown Affair".
||As2 'caps of the French screen legend topless in scenes from "La Sirène du Mississipi" (1969).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the "Sex and the City" star looking great in these topless 'caps from the 1988 movie "Masquerade". As you can see from these images, I think Rob Lowe and Dick Clark must have the same mad scientist youth expert doctor. Lowe was 24 when this movie was shot and looks prety much the same today, 16 years later.
Subject: 10/26 Noelle Evans
A little trivia about Noelle Evans...she used to be my neighbor in Manhattan Beach. I remember one day sitting in my home office (probably reviewing your page!) and this helicopter buzzing round and round our block. I could hear Noelle and a friend chatting outside on her balcony, in between buzzes, and then her little girl comes out and says “mommy, put your top back on so the helicopter will go away”, or something like that. My deck looked down on hers, so I tore ass upstairs to get a look. Alas, I was too late. I did overhear her talking on the phone and then rehearsing her part for ’15 minutes’, which is where I first saw her not so great boob job. Guess 2 kids will do that to ya.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CLOTHING STORES BUYING LARGER MANNEQUINS
Petroleum Shortage Explained - Fitness magazine reports that many high-end
designers are creating profitable clothing lines for larger women, so
stores are finally using larger mannequins. The standard mannequin is size
4 and shaped like a tall, skinny fashion model, while the average American
woman is size 14. But in 2000, mannequin maker Ralph Pucci created a dummy
called "Big Bertha," and it revolutionized the industry. Many newer
dummies now have realistic figures modeled on J.Lo or Beyonce, with ample
behinds. Shoppers say the dummies are sexy and healthy-looking, and they
can finally tell how clothes might look on them.
They look JUST LIKE BEYONCE!
Finally, they don't have to ask, "Does this make me look fat?"
Both women and male transvestites can tell how a dress will look on
Big Bertha is so realistic, she has a chicken leg in her mouth.
It's also good news for ugly guys who want to sleep with something that
DEAD ELVIS' PAYCHECK AIN'T PEANUTS
Lord Of The Royalties - Forbes.com issued its annual of the highest-paid
dead celebrities. Elvis was #1, with his estate making over $40 million
last year from record royalties, merchandising and Graceland tours. He was
followed by "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz, "Lord of the Rings" author
J.R.R. Tolkien, and John Lennon. Elvis may earn even more next year, when
an Elvis clothing line and Broadway musical both debut.
Unfortunately, the ghost of Col. Parker will steal half.
Americans are so fat, that Elvis clothing line should be a big seller.
Elvis clothing? Well, he WAS known for his exquisite taste... Next,
look for Elvis furniture and carpeting.
Some celebrities earn far more money dead than alive...Are you
listening, Ben Affleck?
"SEINFELD" ENTERS SMITHSONIAN
Much Ado About Nothing - The Smithsonian Institution obtained a donation of
memorabilia from the TV show "Seinfeld," which will go on display at the
National Museum of American History. The relics include the actual puffy
shirt from "The Puffy Shirt" episode in which Jerry Seinfeld complains,
"But I don't want to be a pirate."
Oh, no pirate would be caught dead in the puffy shirt.
In December, take the kids to Washington, DC, for the lighting of the
They tried to get some of the prop food, but they were told, "No soup