"Ghost Rock"

Ghost Rock (2003), which IMDb calls The Reckoning is a Kung Fu Western. A young man witnessed a massacre, and is coming home as an adult to clean up the town. The town is being run by the very man who did the dirty work, and also killed his own brother and blamed it on our hero. I won't go into all of the characters, as one of the major faults of the film is way to many characters. It is a rough and tumble world full of shoot outs and martial arts, and just enough time to show breasts from saloon girl Christa Sauls.

The dialogue is among the worst I have heard. It sounds like a precocious 7 year old watched the TV series Kung Fu, and then came up with a bunch of wise sayings for the script. An example is, "Are you dying to live, or living to die?" The acting isn't much better, and the plot is hard to follow. The plot is less of a problem, as the film clearly leads up to a colossal shoot out, and none of the plot nuances need be understood to anticipate that ending.

IMDb readers have this at 2.6 of 10. I will say that some of the photography was rather nice, but this was otherwise very forgettable. D.

  • Thumbnails

  • Christa Sauls (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Alfie (2004)

    The first version of Alfie, made in 1966, made Michael Caine a star, and there is really nothing so bad about the 2004 remake. Jude Law distinguishes himself by bringing to the role more depth and sensitivity than were present in the original, and his conversations with the camera are natural and convincing. That stands as a strong positive for Jude, because having natural conversations with a camera is not an easy thing for an actor to do. In many ways, he did a better job than Michael Caine did in the original movie.

    The problem with the remake is that it is nothing special.

    You see, the first movie was a very special epiphany for many people at the time it was released. After the repressive 50s and before the cultural and feminist revolution of the late 60s, there was a brief period of male-dominated sexual liberation which was characterized by carefree hedonism. The symbols of this time were Frank Sinatra, John F. Kennedy, and Hugh Hefner, swingin' ring-a-ding guys who were out to score with the broads and dames of their time.

    Alfie came out with thinking that was nearly revolutionary in its day - that the self-gratifying Sinatra-style hedonism might be bad for a man not because there was anything morally or theologically wrong with it, but because it was an empty and shallow lifestyle that was going to lead to loneliness. This was a new concept at the time, because the previous criticisms of that lifestyle had been concentrated on external other-directed and morality-driven rationale. "You shouldn't live like this because you are hurting other people", or "you are offending God". or "you are treating women like objects." Alfie, on the other hand, attacked the swinging Playboy lifestyle from a pragmatic standpoint. "You shouldn't live like this because in the long run you are hurting yourself."

    That made a lot of sense in the context of the time, because it lent perspective to a cultural trend which needed perspective. After decades of sexual repression, a lot of men, even very thoughtful men, saw Sinatra and Hefner as the prophets of a new age. After all, they were rebelling against a Puritanism that needed to be rebelled against, right? Alfie came along to say, "Yes, rebellion is necessary, and a new age is necessary, but this hedonism is only the first step, just the brief window of libertine behavior that always occurs whenever freedom replaces long-standing repression. We need to move on from here."

    And the movie's thinking was prescient. Society did move on from there. Within a year or two, the Summer of Love had happened, the cultural revolution had begun, the sexual revolution had truly begun, and Sinatra and Hefner, who had seemed like cultural prophets in 1963,  suddenly seemed in 1968 like dinosaurs from a long-forgotten past.

    The problem with the remake is that all that cultural perspective is now lost. A story which once symbolized and summarized an entire time and place has now become just a story, nothing more. And it isn't even a very realistic story any more. In the early 60s, the choice between hedonism and restraint was simply an intellectual or ethical decision that tested one's capacity for long-term thinking. There was no AIDS. There was no feminism. Even herpes had yet to be mentioned outside of medical journals. In our time, it is much more difficult to be a hedonist. The decision to commit to a series of casual sexual encounters is no longer just a personal ethical choice. Even assuming you can find the women willing to co-operate in the first place, the choice can be a matter of life and death. Yet our Jude Law version of Alfie does not acknowledge the realities of sexual promiscuity in the 21st century. He simply romps about latter day New York as if he were Michael Caine getting some ring-a-ding in a 60s England which swung like a pendulum did.

    The remake is not a bad movie, mind you. You won't come out of the theater muttering about it being shite. It's just not special, and you might emerge wondering why they bothered making it in the first place.

    • Sienna Miller .jpgs (1, 2, 3)

    • Sienna Miller film clip (.zipped .wmv) NOTE: the sound is too loud. If you just turn it down a bit, you'll get rid of most of the problems.


    Dawn of the Dead (2004)

    Two guys caught me goofing off on this film:

    Thanks to Spaz, master of all things Canadian, for clearing up a plot point and for a positive ID of the boat chick in Dawn of the Dead as Luigia Zucaro. (Good thing she's Canadian, or we'd never have known!)

    Spaz wrote:

    Just filling in a plothole here.

    The first part of the video footage shown at the end comes from a videocamera they found on Steve's boat. Steve never made it back to the boat so the footage of him and the naked woman (Luigia Zucaro) must have been shot on a previous boat trip before the zombies went wild. Canadian scoopsters may remember Luigia Zucaro's photospread from UMM magazine (a Canadian FHM knockoff).


    Thanks to Brian L for finding a little more nudity in this flick.

    Brian wrote:

    Hey, I caught yesterday's Fun House and read your comments.  I don't know which version of DOTD you watched but the unrated DVD version contains one more scene of nudity than the one you mentioned.
    The additional nudity features the curly long haired blonde in the film. Her name is Kim Poirier and, according to the search I did on Google, she is a model/actress. Anyway, the scene I am referring too occurs after her group gets to the mall. She is in one of the stores trying on lingerie and then you see her and the stuck-up guy having sex in a store. Her left nipple pops out of her bra while he gets her from behind. While it is a quick cut, it is shown and I thought I'd let you know. 

    For completeness sake.

     I wasn't sure which version you had reviewed, and I don't know if the scene I mentioned was in the "R-rated" version or not.
    Scoop's note: I don't know whether it's in the R-rated version either! I actually watched the unrated version, but I just plain missed the nipple!


    Other Crap:

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Stripped to Kill, Part 3

    There are about a zillion of these Grade B stripper movies with similar titles. This one is better than most. It is unusual in three ways (1) No Maria Ford!! (2) While it will not be confused with a David Mamet script, it does have a fairly interesting plot with some clever twists (3) It stars mainstream actress Key Lenz as an undercover cop posing as a stripper.

    You can find Lenz in the Tuesday page. Here is Lucia Lexington



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    A few video clips today. Zipped divx .avis as usual...

    First up is Kim Evenson (Hefmate for Sept '84) in a movie entitled The Big Bet. Kim was in one of the later Porky's movies as a foreign exchange student who got nekkid (in Hollywood, don't they all?) and in Kandyland as a gal who becomes a stripper (again, in Hollywood, don't they all?). Here she plays the gorgeous lust-interest of a geeky guy who resists but then puts out in the end (in Holywood... oh, never mind)

    • Kim Evenson (1, 2, 3)

    Next is Petra Verkaik (Hefmate for Dec '89) in Speedway. She uses her shirt to start an illegal drag race. Me thinks that gives an unfair advantage to her boyfriend... been there, done those.

    Ruthy Ross (Miss June '73) in The Centerfold Girls. The gal with whom she is posing topless is Jennifer Ashley.

    And a former Pet (Dec '81 and the year of '82) Sheila Kennedy in Elle. Sheila plays Elle, who in this scene disrobes to send her step-brother to his death. The jumpiness of the clip comes from the editing: I cut out her ugly stepbrother and kept Elle. It seemed like the right thing to do.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...a blast from the past with Angie Dickinson. Here she is showing some partial breast views in scenes from the 1969 western "Sam Whiskey", starring Burt Reynolds.

    • Angie Dickinson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Angie Dickinson zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    The Gimp
    Hardcore'caps and comments by The Gimp:

    As Brainscan promised in the 10/26 update...Here are some vidcap collages of Aylarr Dianati Lie aka Persian Princess Diana aka the former Miss Norway contestant who was given the boot for making "naughy" films in the US. Here she is being naughty in Brand New 2. The first one is tame, but the next seven follow Diana as she entertains two guys. Not a thing left to anyone's imagination.

    • Aylarr Dianati Lie aka Persian Princess Diana (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Here is another collage of Aylar made from the trailer to Breakin' Em In. This one pretty much cuts straight to the chase.

    Another batch of HDTV 'caps from prime time. Today DeadLamb features three very hot ladies from the new ABC hit series "Desperate Housewives".

    • The amazingly gorgeous Eva Longoria. The sports bra in #2 is good, but the sexy undies in #3 are even better. (1, 2, 3)

    • Nicolette Sheridan, showing plenty of cleavage and wearing short-shorts while doing the sexy, soapy car washing thing. (1, 2)

    • Teri Hatcher wearing nothing, but covering the goods with assorted shrubbery. (1, 2)

    Rosie Perez
    (1, 2)

    Rosie showing off tons of cleavage while guest hosting the Late Late Show.

    Rene Russo
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Topless in a sweaty sex scene, and again while sun bathing topless in scenes from the 1999 remake of "The Thomas Crown Affair".

    Catherine Deneuve As2 'caps of the French screen legend topless in scenes from "La Sirène du Mississipi" (1969).

    Kim Cattrall
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the "Sex and the City" star looking great in these topless 'caps from the 1988 movie "Masquerade". As you can see from these images, I think Rob Lowe and Dick Clark must have the same mad scientist youth expert doctor. Lowe was 24 when this movie was shot and looks prety much the same today, 16 years later.

    Mail Bag
    Subject: 10/26 Noelle Evans
    Hi Scoops,
    A little trivia about Noelle Evans...she used to be my neighbor in Manhattan Beach. I remember one day sitting in my home office (probably reviewing your page!) and this helicopter buzzing round and round our block. I could hear Noelle and a friend chatting outside on her balcony, in between buzzes, and then her little girl comes out and says “mommy, put your top back on so the helicopter will go away”, or something like that. My deck looked down on hers, so I tore ass upstairs to get a look. Alas, I was too late. I did overhear her talking on the phone and then rehearsing her part for ’15 minutes’, which is where I first saw her not so great boob job. Guess 2 kids will do that to ya.


    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Petroleum Shortage Explained - Fitness magazine reports that many high-end designers are creating profitable clothing lines for larger women, so stores are finally using larger mannequins. The standard mannequin is size 4 and shaped like a tall, skinny fashion model, while the average American woman is size 14. But in 2000, mannequin maker Ralph Pucci created a dummy called "Big Bertha," and it revolutionized the industry. Many newer dummies now have realistic figures modeled on J.Lo or Beyonce, with ample behinds. Shoppers say the dummies are sexy and healthy-looking, and they can finally tell how clothes might look on them.

  • They look JUST LIKE BEYONCE!
  • Finally, they don't have to ask, "Does this make me look fat?"
  • Both women and male transvestites can tell how a dress will look on them.
  • Big Bertha is so realistic, she has a chicken leg in her mouth.
  • It's also good news for ugly guys who want to sleep with something that resembles J-Lo.

    Lord Of The Royalties - issued its annual of the highest-paid dead celebrities. Elvis was #1, with his estate making over $40 million last year from record royalties, merchandising and Graceland tours. He was followed by "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz, "Lord of the Rings" author J.R.R. Tolkien, and John Lennon. Elvis may earn even more next year, when an Elvis clothing line and Broadway musical both debut.

  • Unfortunately, the ghost of Col. Parker will steal half.
  • Americans are so fat, that Elvis clothing line should be a big seller.
  • Elvis clothing? Well, he WAS known for his exquisite taste... Next, look for Elvis furniture and carpeting.
  • Some celebrities earn far more money dead than alive...Are you listening, Ben Affleck?

    Much Ado About Nothing - The Smithsonian Institution obtained a donation of memorabilia from the TV show "Seinfeld," which will go on display at the National Museum of American History. The relics include the actual puffy shirt from "The Puffy Shirt" episode in which Jerry Seinfeld complains, "But I don't want to be a pirate."

  • Oh, no pirate would be caught dead in the puffy shirt.
  • In December, take the kids to Washington, DC, for the lighting of the Festivus Pole.
  • They tried to get some of the prop food, but they were told, "No soup for you!!"