Thrust (2003) is a skinemax sports cliche soft-core which IMDB calls Maximum Thrust. The sport this time is street racing. We have Robyn Hyden as the former champ who lost her driver and her reputation when her new experimental car exploded. She blames the new king of the sport, Onyx, claiming that he sabotaged the car. She is now trying a comeback. She is out of money, her car needs parts she can't afford, and she is afraid to use her special modification as it might be dangerous. Former Dallas Cheerleader Beverly Lynne is a new but talented driver whom she hires to drive her car, so she can concentrate on the engine work.

Her assistant is Nicole Oring, and Onyx's main squeeze is Akira Lane. Hyden shows everything in a sex scene, ad the other three women show everything in two sex scenes each. As a matter of fact, way too much time is devoted to the sex scenes, even for a soft-core. The plot is totally predictable, and most of the nude scenes are very dark, ad required a lot of work to brighten. This is a low C-. It has the requisite nudity for a soft-core, but the plot is not at all engaging.

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  • Akira Lane (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42)

  • Beverly Lynne (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

  • Nicole Oring (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

  • Robyn Hayden (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Cabin Fever (2003):

    Cabin Fever was the hottest property at the Toronto Film festival in 2002. Several studios got into a bidding war, which Lions Gate won with a deal that was said to involve high seven figures for the film rights, plus a commitment to at least low eight figures on the marketing and promotional end.

    I'm not sure what all the fuss was about. It's a competent horror movie, but a fairly traditional type with no special luster of originality or innovation.

    Five college kids, consisting of the usual mix of types, head out to a remote cabin in the woods to chill out before they have to face life. They have the usual foreboding experiences with the locals, who seem to be leftovers from the cast of Deliverance.

    Things progress quietly until the kids encounter a hermit covered with pustules, obviously the victim of some new and horrible viral disease. The first encounter of the hermit with the entire group of kids gives us our first strong indication that this is not a movie about real people, but about movie characters. In real life, if someone comes to your door and says, "I'm hurt, I need a ride to the doctor", you say, "OK, but you may be infectious, so just don't touch anything here, and climb into the open flatbed of our vehicle. We'll get you to town". These kids don't behave like that - I suppose because they must know they are in a horror movie, and this isn't just a regular sick guy, but a horror movie sick guy, with some condition capable of destroying them and possibly the world. They recoil in horror, close the door on the poor sap, and eventually end up shooting him, beating him, and setting him on fire. The kids do not unanimously agree on this course of action, but that's what they end up doing.

    The infected guy tries to douse the fire by jumping into the reservoir, thus poisoning the water supply. Plague ensues. The locals turn on the kids, the kids turn on one another, things get ugly.

    Critical reaction has been generally favorable to this movie, but not without dissents:

    • The critics who love the horror genre have really taken this one to heart, so it must be a C+ on our scale - good fare for genre fans.
    • But it must be no higher than a C+ grade on our scale, because mainstream audiences and critics most typically said that it's OK as a 70s or 80s style horror movie homage, but nothing special at best. Roger Ebert assigned one and a half stars, Owen Gleibermann voted C+, IMDb voters weighed in with a mediocre 5.7, and the box office ran aground at $21 million.

    I had about the same reaction as the mainstream guys. I didn't think the film was original enough to praise unreservedly. I don't think I was surprised by one development in the entire film. I did think it was a competent movie, with adequate character development by genre standards, some solid horror moments as well as some solid comic relief, and it was above average in at least one way: the widescreen cinematography was often very effective, as good as I've seen in any recent horror film.

    I thought the most effective and ingenious contribution to the genre occurred when Cerina Vincent was taking a bath, shaving her legs, all "business as usual" until we see her scraping off some lather to reveal that she has just used her razor to open up various disgusting pustules, spores, and/or lesions. Genre films are supposed to make us react viscerally - like carnival thrill rides. That scene certainly worked. I found it a very effective and lurid stomach-churner which was heightened by Cerina's naked vulnerability. That's the kind of moment that made it a hit with the indie and genre critics.

    But make no mistake, it is a genre film for genre lovers, not one that reaches out to mainstream audiences, and it is more of an homage than an original groundbreaker.

    The filmmakers made money, because  it was cheap to make and Lions Gate reportedly gave them eight or nine million for the rights. Lions Gate is still waiting for a profit, because they invested about twenty million altogether, counting advertising and distribution costs. They have about half of that back now, and I suppose they will be OK after DVD retail sales, rentals, overseas and broadcast revenues.

    Oh, well, irrespective of the film's merits, Cerina Vincent looked just fine, and her breasts made frequent appearances.

    • Thumbnails. You may remember Cerina as the naked exchange student in "Not Another Teen Movie".
    • Cerina Vincent (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
    • Cerina's encyclopedia volume has also been updated



  • Succinct review of Radio: "I've got three reasons to skip this one: Cuba, Gooding, and Junior. Four reasons if you count his goofy fake teeth. Five if you just enjoy counting."

  • Wow, my mistake. It turns out Ronald Reagan WAS (is?)the antichrist? Helluva disguise. I always thought Anti would be scarier and ... well ... less amiable.

  • Sylvia Plath Stuck Her Head in an Oven . . . & Other Disturbing Deaths in the Literary World

  • Stop the Presses - it looks like there's a new world record for underwater pumpkin carving!

  • Rod Roddy, the flamboyantly dressed announcer on 'The Price is Right' whose booming, jovial voice invited lucky audience members to 'Come on down!' for nearly 20 years, died Monday He went to the gates of heaven and received .... A NEW CAR!!! ..... For the rest of the jokes, please refer back to the material I used when Johnny Olsen died in 1985.

  • The "new look" Meg Ryan

  • Download the virtual theremin for Halloween.

  • Mouseketeer only removed her pants because she was drinking Red Bull. If their company can't use that to sell product, they ain't never gonna sell nothin'. OK, maybe a Schlitz is OK for you, tough guy, but for your date - Red Bull - the drawer dropper. Why not make it Red Bull and Vodka, a "Raging Bull". As Homer Simpson might say - Alcohol and Red Bull - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems

  • April 1996 playmate, Gillian Bonner. Free nude gallery.Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!

  • Now anyone can breeze through congested intersections just like the police, thanks to a $300 dashboard device that changes traffic lights from red to green, making nasty commutes a thing of the past and leaving other drivers open-mouthed at your ability to manipulate traffic.

  • Wolverine, James Wolverine. Is Hugh Jackman the Next Bond? Clive Owen, the previous front-runner, is now thought to lack the requisite light touch, and the producers just can't afford Carrot Top.

  • The scariest screen moment of all time? - Here's Johnny

  • X-TINA got down and dirrty as she kicked off the UK leg of her Stripped European tour.

  • Red Sox officials told Grady Little late this morning that they will not renew his contract for next season. This was done presumably because he got the Red Sox the closest they have gotten to a world series in 85 years, and they want to go back to being the total losers their fans are used to. Seriously, Little was a "gut feel" kind of guy, and he's working in an environment in which his bosses prefer "statistical analysis". I'm sure the suits would not have supported his decision to leave Pedro in. On the other hand, the same suits would have disapproved of every move Jack McKeon ever made, so there you are. Sometimes even a round ball bounces funny.

  • All About Romance: all-time worst Cover Contest

  • TIME.com: Is Rumsfeld Losing His Mojo?

  • she's one bitter mouseketeer after Timberwolf blabbed about her

  • Page Three Idol - final round

  • Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Emily Mortimer, gorgeous breast exposure in scenes from "The Sleeping Dictionary" (2003).

    • Summer Phoenix, the youngest of the Phoenix clan going full frontal in scenes from the indie flick "Esther Kahn" (2000).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Return of the Living Dead III"
    As a follow-up to my recent 'caps from The Return of the Living Dead, here's another of the Return series. This, the third of the bunch, has young lovers discovering the secret of the Army's "back to life" chemical. When the girl is killed, the boy is compelled to try the chemical to get his beloved back.

    My feeling is that Return III is second best after the original Return, while Return II is basically not very good (and not capworthy). Needless to say, all the required elements of a good zombie movie are here: nudity, blood and gore, and a little more serious but still predictable script.

    Béatrice Dalle
    (1, 2, 3)

    Vejiita tries a new format for 'caps which is kinda cool...a comic book. Here is the French actress baring all in scenes from her first movie, "37°2 le matin" aka "37.2 Degrees in the Morning" aka "Betty Blue" (1986).

    María Botto
    (1, 2)

    Partial breast exposure in scenes from the Spanish movie "Soldados de Salamina" (2003).

    Julia Nickson-Soul
    (1, 2)

    Lala Sloatman

    Scenes from "Amityville: A New Generation" (1993). The exotic beauty Nickson-Soul shows partial breast views, while Sloatman is clearly topless.

    Lisa Robin Kelly

    Starr Andreeff

    From yet another Amityville sequel..."Amityville: Dollhouse" (1997). Lisa Robin Kelly is of course best known from "That 70's Show" and gets topless in a love scene. Starr Andreeff can be seen in black undies.

    Cameron Diaz A very brief nip slip in scenes from the Martin Scorsese movie "Gangs of New York" (2002).

    Rosanna Arquette Topless in scenes from the 1988 Luc Besson film, "Le Grand bleu" aka "The Big Blue". Beautiful cinematography, but good lord is it boring.

    Sophie Ellis-Bextor
    Kim Cattrall

    Two celebs with the same thing in common...no undies. The paparazzi catch both ladies showing some pubes in public.

    450 nude women
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    On Sunday morning, New York-based artist Spencer Tunick gathered 450 nekkid women to pose as "human art" in Grand Central Station. Link #1 is a large image before the final poses. Links 2-4 are the "art".

    Pam Anderson Topless and being hosed down in scenes from that mid-90's classic, "Barb Wire".

    Emily Blunt
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    'Caps and comments by C2000.

    Emily Blunt topless as Katherine Howard, the fifth of Henry VIII's six wives and second to lose her head, in scenes from UK TV drama "Henry VIII".

    Sylvia Kristel
    (1, 2)

    Topless 'caps of the original Emmanuelle.

    Aubrey Miles
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    The beautiful Philippino actress topless in love scenes from "Xerex" (2003). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    That Ain't Peanuts - Forbes magazine has released its third annual list of the top-earning dead celebrities. From Jerry Garcia to Frank Sinatra to Dr. Seuss, their estates continue to rake in millions. #3 on the list was J.R.R. Tolkien, who made $22 million off "The Lord of the Rings." #2 was "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz with $32 million, while the #1 deceased earner for the third straight year was Elvis Presley, who made $40 million last year, despite being dead for 26 years.

  • Dead? I saw him at Taco Bell last week, buying a million dollars worth of burritos.
  • These days, the only people who can make a living are dead.
  • I'm sort of like Elvis: I have an insurance policy that makes me worth more dead than alive.
  • So they're all still dealing with death and taxes.

    Stalk Is Cheap - Masahiki Shizawa, the Japanese businessman ordered to stop stalking Britney Spears, is now suing Britney. He says her security guards confronted him outside her house, ordered him to leave, and one pointed a gun at him. He claims this caused him "extreme emotional distress," and he's had trouble sleeping and had to take time off work. He's seeking unspecified damages.

  • But he's willing to accept payment in Britney's used underwear.
  • Lack of sleep is making him CRAZY!
  • He needs to get over his emotional problems so he can start stalking Britney again.
  • If he thinks emotional distress is bad, he should try stalking Snoop Dogg.

    No Diddying For Awhile - P. Diddy told USA Today that he's abstaining from sex for two weeks while training for the New York City marathon. He said that's "a long time for me, because I'm a very healthy Scorpio. My hormones are raging. I'm a young man, very passionate, very romantic. But it's for the kids."

  • If everybody did that, there wouldn't BE any kids!
  • Let's hope the kids take time out from having sex to thank him.
  • He'll have 10 groupies waiting at the finish line, and he'll run the marathon in record time.
  • After Michael Jackson and R. Kelly, it's nice to see an R&B star who thinks of kids when he DOESN'T have sex.