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The first time we've seen these captures from Dancing at the Blue Iguana (it hits video the day after Christmas), the latest strip club movie

Daryl Hannah.  (1, 2)  She is in incredible shape. Woman is 40 years old, has about 0% body fat.

Sandra Oh

Sheila Kelley

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Bring out the Zamboni and drop the pucks, boys, because it's Canada day here in the Scoopy portion of the Fun House. In honor of that, I'm going to sing Oh, Canada ....

"Oh, Canada

...dum ...dum ... de ... dum ... dum ... dum "

Oops. Most Americans know the tune to Oh, Canada, but we get lost on the words after the first two. But I'm sure they mention Canada in there somewhere a few more times, eh? And pelts. Plenty of pelts.

Of course, none of these films is as good as the Citizen Kane of Canada, "Strange Brew", and there are no characters named "hosehead",  but all three of these Canadian films are pretty good in their own ways. Unfortunately, all three are released in completely featureless 4:3 DVD's. In two of them, the image quality is OK, but Rowing Through is a mess - a DVD transfer no better than a second-generation video tape. And that's a shame because Leslie Hope did a frontal scene and even 45 year old Helen Shaver gave us a glimpse of the Delta of Venus

Blackheart is a 1998 oddball straight-to-vid noir, kind of a grade-z version of "The Grifters". Silly, but kinda fun. It combines realism with surrealism. That may just be sloppy, I don't know, but I thought it was fascinating in a way.

  • Maria Conchita Alonso, still going strong, getting topless at age 41 (1, 2)

  • Fiona Leowi.  Beautiful girl, but no significant nudity. (1, 2)

I thought that Frozen in Fear, the film that combines Eric Roberts and Wagnerian opera, would be the record holder for many years to come in the category of "Most pretentious grade B film concept". It may still hold the top spot, but 1998's Faithless (aka The Falling) is a challenger - a faux-Kurosawa film in concept (Roshomon updated), with German Expressionist film techniques. How pretentious is that shit? It is actually not a bad movie, but is a typical first movie after film school, the kind of self-consciously arty film that makes the rounds at film festivals, then dies of unexplained causes. 

Oh, get this - every time they show a clock in the film, it is always 10:12.

After a lifetime of dealing with soulful and meaningful crap,  (I even majored in soulful, meaningful crap as an undergrad, although in those less honest days they called it English Literature) I have come to the reluctant understanding that numbers written in the format XY:AB may not be merely times of day, but also verses of the bible, and that a constantly repeated time like that is probably an oh-so-precious biblical reference. Sure enough, when I went to the book of Mark, it said the following at 10:12 - "and if a woman shall put away her husband and be with another, she committeth adultery" - which is the plot of the movie, hence the title "Faithless". 

Actually, I have been unfair. This film may have grade-b elements, and pretentiousness up the patoot, and I didn't much enjoy it, but the director has tremendous talent, absolutely tremendous, and could be a great one someday when he has some more time between him and film school, and stops that poseur crap. Atom Egoyan started out making films like this, and within 10 years was one of the masters of the medium. It takes a while for a young filmmaker to realize that he doesn't want to be Fritz Lang or Michael Mann or Kurosawa, but needs to find his own voice

  • Nicole Oliver  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Rowing Through is a 1996 sports flick about a Harvard rower who trains for the 1980 Olympics. The USA pulled out of those Olympics, but he couldn't give up his dream, and struggled to make it in 1984.  Joint Japanese-Canadian project. True story, based on a book by David Halberstam.

I thought this was a pretty good movie, well photographed and scored. Unfortunately, it is an abominable DVD. No features, 4:3 pan 'n scan, poor quality transfer. What a shame.

  • Leslie Hope ( 1, 2, 3)

  • Helen Shaver.  Topping Alonso by a few years, she got naked at 45 here. She's still beautiful. ( 1, 2, 3)

Honte's site is updated with edition 89.


And our familiar, annual "least favorite Halloween candy list", updated for this year, but still including some of the immortal classics

 Uncle Scoopy's Least Favorite Halloween Candies

2001 Version

10. Ichi Rolls 

9. Baghdad Baked Beans

8. Cal Ripken Junior Mints

7. Mad Cow Milk Duds

6. Condoleeza's Pieces

5. Allman Joy

4. Tali bon-bons

3. Hershey Highway

2. Turkish Prison Taffy

and the new least favorite ...

1. Bit o' Sama


scoopy's words in white, others yellow

New one for words:  asterisk.  People always pronounce it astrix or aster-ix.  Last one is close but still not right.  I must say that I have never pronounced it right myself but I am aware of the mispronunciation.  I have also never heard one single solitary soul in my life pronounce it correctly.  More of a regional one is Calgary.  Everyone in Canada, including Calgarians, pronounces it Calgry.

I never saw it written out before, and I love the word "Calgarians". It sounds like some nomads in a Conan story. My favorite such word is "Glaswegian" for "residents of Glasgow"



Star Slammer (1984), which is called Prison Ship at IMDB, is an Action/Comedy/SciFi by Fred Olen Ray. It marks the third terrible film in a row I have endured. Taura (Sandy Brooke) is a space miner who is hassled by corrupt government representatives, framed for a murder or two, and sentenced to a space ship prison. For there, it is Women in Prison meets Star Wars, but with special effects at about kindergarten crayon level, terrible acting, none of the worthwhile WIP cliches, a trite derivative story line, and a sound track comprised entirely of inappropriate classical tunes, such as Bolero and Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. Sandy shows her buns in butt-floss shorts on the mining planet, then shows her breasts twice changing.

IMDB readers say 4.8/10. It is interesting that not a single woman has voted. I award an F. This film is not of the so bad it's good variety, it is simply abysmal. Here is a great site devoted to WIP films, which agrees with me on this one. I shudder to think what fragrance of Yak excrement is in store for tomorrow.


Thumbnails #1

Sandy Brooke (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)



Hello dear uncle !

It's been a while since I've submitted material to the Fun House but here I am finally. I still don't feel much like vidcapping, so I decided to throw in a few scans to keep you abreast of what's going on in Flanders in the field of celeb nudity. And our celebs -or rather would-be celebs and bimbo's strapped for cash - are losing their clothes at an incredible rate and Big Brother is turning into Big Brothel. But I wasn't sure if people in the rest of the world were ready for a sudden attack by the Flemish Bimbo Corps, so I've waited until a real Flemish celebrity decided to pose nude. 

She isn't new to this pages, there are already vidcaps of her in the Fun House, but here is Ann Ceurvels (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) in a pictorial from the monthly men's magazine Menzo. Ann is an excellent actress who really becomes the part she plays, so much so that you totally forget about previous and very different roles she played in other films and TV-series. She never had problems with nudity on screen but this is the first time she posed nude for a magazine. She also likes to read lots of books and states that everything begins and ends with Shakespeare. She prefers to read books in the language they were written in ; she says about that :"Take for instance those South American novels, you lose quite a bit of the atmosphere if you read those through the bars of the Dutch language." Ain't that nice or what?

Finally I've read with much interest all the "Words" discussions. I never bothered to write in about that but today I simply have to comment on Saturday's Engrish. I don't see what's wrong with "batard" except that the Japanese forgot the "circonflexe" accent on the first a (bâtard). We are dealing here with French bread and bâtard (bastard) is the name of a sort of French bread. Those familiar with denominations of French bread will know that a bâtard is half the length of a "pain restaurant" which is thicker than the traditional rather thin "baguette" which makes an excellent weapon during demonstrations provided it is at least 4 days old. For those interested, in French the ^ indicates that somewhere in time an s in a word was lost, e.g. hôtel (hostel), île (isle). Fortunately the s hasn't disappeared systematically or we would now be reading Uncle ^Coopy'^ Fun Hoûe. That'^ it for now from ICM^. The would-be'^ and bimbo'^ are for a future contribution ;-) Yours faithfully (your^ faîfully ?),

Debbie Arnold the first two pictures in this section are a three man effort from demon, Pitters, and Strojon. This is Debbie Arnold in Jemina Shore Investigates
Melissa Wilks in "The Hour of the Pig"
Jennifer Leigh Hammon (1, 2, 3) in Allyson is Watching. The last two also show Caroline Ambrose

Today's theme: more photographs of Bettina Rheims. No flesh at all today from Blackshine, but see the comments below. 

THUMBNAILS. Numbers match to those below (Blackshine's numbering system)


Karen Mulder  958

Karen Mulder 959

Karen Mulder 960

Liv Tyler 961

Madonna 962

Madonna 963

Madonna 964 (A hint of nudity)

Madonna 965 (No nudity, but sexy)

Mary J Blige 966

Rose McGowan  967

Salma Hayek 968

Sharon Stone 969

Sharon Stone 970

Sharon Stone 971

Sharon Stone 972

Sharon Stone 973

Sharon Stone 974

Sharon Stone 975

Sibyl Buck 976

The Funnies

Twisted Humor's top reasons why trick or treating for candy is better than sex:

  • 10. Everyone gets a little something in the sack.
  • 9. If you get tired, you can rest ten minutes and go at it again
  • 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some
  • 7. It's OK if they fantasize that you're someone else, because you are
  • 6. 20 years from now, you'll still enjoy eating candy with the same person.
  • 5. You don't have to compliment somebody to get some
  • 4. If you don't like what you get, it's OK to go next door.
  • 3. It's OK if the kids hear you moaning
  • 2. No morning after guilt
  • 1. You can do the whole neighborhood.

 I/ think you all know that Bush is synonymous with "Head for the Mountains" - of Afghanistan