Wednesday

Tuna
"Indecent Desire"

Indecent Desire (1967) is a Doris Wishman sexploitation film, and has a somewhat more interesting plot than most of her films. A skid row type is trash picking, and finds a fashion doll, and a ring. He has some sexual attraction to the doll and later sees Sharon Kent on the street. He decides she is his doll come to life. Whenever he fondles the doll, Kent feels his caresses. Her work mate and girlfriend, Jackie Richards, is little help, as she is more interested in getting laid, and her boyfriend is out of town. When the stalker realizes she is seeing another man, he starts torturing the doll.

Both women show breasts and buns, mostly dressing and undressing. In typical Wishman fashion, the film is dubbed, but reasonably well this time. We have some patented Wishman camera angles, such as a low camera shooting up at a topless woman, but little or now footage of inanimate objects, other than the doll, which is very much a part of the story. Kent has nine credits between 1966 and 1970. As Does Richards.

IMDb has this at 3.1, but with very few votes. Compared to real films, this is probably fair, but as a Doris Wishman sexploitation effort, it has a lot of nudity and a reasonably interesting premise and rates a C on our scale.

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  • Jackie Richards (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)
  • Sharon Kent (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

     

    White Chicks - Unrated (2004)

    You can skip this one.

    The "unrated" is hype, at least as far as skin goes. There is no nudity, despite one scene that was obviously set up to include nudity, and actually includes naked body parts just out of camera range. Two other FBI agents, rivals who don't like the Wayans brothers, publicly pull open the blouse of one Wayans and pull down the pants of the other in order to show the FBI bureau chief that the boys are not the real heiresses -  only to find out that they accidentally grabbed the REAL heiresses. Oops!

    It WOULD have made a great nude scene.

    Never happened.

    It's also a generally unfunny and obvious movie. And, of course, the premise is absurd, even for a slapstick comedy. Two of the Wayans lads impersonate two white female socialites - in a room full of long-term acquaintances of the real heiresses. Get real. Perhaps the lads might hope to succeed if the disguises had to fool some people who had never met the real heiresses face-to-face, because the Wayans brothers did look kinda sorta convincing as women, in a putty-face sort of way. But that ain't how it went down. The script called for them to fool the lifelong friends of  the girls. (How did they explain their height?  "We had our knees done.")

    I guess you just had to suspend disbelief a lot more than usual.

    It's interesting that two black men can get away with impersonating two white women for comic effect. Do you think it would be considered acceptable for two white men to put on blackface to impersonate two black sisters in a lowbrow comedy? Maybe, but I doubt it.

    Reminds me of a strange story.

    In my TV days I once had to play a black man. Yes, I know that is in bad taste, but I had no choice. Here's the story. We had a black actor who failed to show up for the taping because of a mix up in scheduling. We had a studio reserved, a deadline to meet, a budget to stay within, and all of the crew and cast assembled and on the clock. The part required a black man - any black man who could deliver a couple of simple lines -  for a simple visual joke. A small, skinny white guy with a squeaky voice, ala Gilligan, was supposed to introduce his twin brother, a burly and polysyllabic black man with a voice like James Earl Jones. Because of the interrelated nature of the sketches, there was no way to re-write the entire show. There was no black man available, not even one of the crew members. I was elected. I was actually working as a writer, standing around the set in my suit because I went to the taping after working my other job. The producer/director didn't care if I was a writer or an actor. It didn't matter to him if I was Walt Fucking Whitman, because he was paying a bunch of technical guys by the hour, and I had the right build and the right voice for the role, so the make-up guys got busy on me and transformed my white surfer-boy ass into a makeshift James Earl Jones. (You can see what I really look like here - or rather what I looked like a few years ago. I'm about as black as Rutger Hauer.)

    Of course, we weren't demeaning the character. The whole joke was simply in the fact that the two guys were twins. I was wearing a three-piece suit and I delivered my one or two lines with my best Darth Vader impersonation, so there was nothing especially undignified about it, but I was still relieved that there were no letters or calls of complaint, and the show was pulled from the re-run schedule. Without the permission of those who actually owned the rights, I personally stole and destroyed the original 3/4 inch commercial grade video, so I am sure the broadcast was never seen again and could never be seen again by anyone in the future. I doubt if there are fifteen people in the world who would remember seeing it.

    (I do still have a 1/2 inch consumer grade VHS tape of the show, which I made with my home VCR from the broadcast, but that sucker is stayin' on the shelf!)

    Anyway, I guess my point is this. I was terrified of the reaction I might get from playing a black character out of necessity, even though it was a sympathetic portrayal, an intellectual, and the only dignified and intelligent character on the show. Yet the Wayans Brothers didn't seem be worried about the appropriateness of  lampooning the daylights out of white female socialites in various cruel and degrading ways.

    This does not seem to be a two-way street.

    I'm not arguing that it should be. I've thought about it some, but I still just don't know how I feel about it.

    I'm just sayin' ...

     

    Other Crap:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

    Stripped to Kill, Part 2

    There are about a zillion of these Grade B stripper movies with similar titles. This one is better than most. It is unusual in three ways (1) No Maria Ford!! (2) While it will not be confused with a David Mamet script, it does have a fairly interesting plot with some clever twists (3) It has mainstream actress Key Lenz as an undercover cop posing as a stripper.

    You can find Lenz in the Tuesday page. Here is Deborah Ann Nassar.

     

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    ICMS

    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS
     

    Hi Scoopy !
     
    Some time ago I still found a part of the movie Sweet Country (1986) on an old videotape of mine. I transferred the nude scenes from this flick to DVD and now I'm sending you the clips. Unfortunately some nudity by Carole Laure is missing, but there's still plenty to look at.

    Furthermore I think this must be the only time in her career that Jane Alexander showed a bit of skin, albeit rather dark.

     
    That's all for now, hope to be back soon with far more interesting material in better quality.
     
    Yours faithfully,
     
    ICMS
     
      Scoop's note:
    • Here's a quick .jpg sample of Jane Alexander. It is not great, but well worth a look, since this is her only screen flesh, and there have never been good caps of this scene.

     

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today the Ghost takes a look at the mega-lo budget Sci-fi flick "Terminal Virus" (1995), starring James Brolin! He did get divorced that year. My guess is he that he took this gig to pay for the lawyers.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Suburban Nightmare"
    No one will accuse this 2004 direct-to-video horror flick of being academy award material, but it IS somewhat interesting, with a plot that's twisty and different.

    Charles and Deborah are married with a pre-teen daughter, fight and bicker constantly, but are really very much in love. They are also serial killers who enjoy doing their deeds together (but they fight about whose turn is next, method of the kill, etc.). Things come to a head in this quirky drama when they decide the best plan is to kill one another.

    Not great, but defintely different. Despite it's many flaws, I enjoyed it.

    DeadLamb
    Another batch of excellent HDTV 'caps featuring the tight tops, cleavage and teaser shots of prime time television.

    Evangeline Lilly
    and
    Maggie Grace

    From last week's episode of ABC's new (and surprise hit) series "Lost". Grace shows a bit of bum as the wind blows up her skirt, and Lilly is wearing her usual tank top. Recently Ain't it Cool News posted some buzz that had Lilly in the running to be the next Lois Lane in upcoming "Superman Returns", directed by Bryan Singer.

    Nikki Cox
    and
    Marsha Thomason
    and
    Gladise Jimenez

    Two of the "Las Vegas" regulars looking hot as always. Plus one of last week's guest stars didn't look to shabby either.

    Heather Graham
    and
    Sarah Chalke
    and
    Mercy Malick

    From last week's episode of the NBC comedy "Scrubs". Graham showed off about 8 square miles of cleavage, Chalke wore some lingerie, and Malick had a small part playing "Hot Contortionist".

    Sarah Michelle Gellar Buffy looking über-cute on Conan.

    Variety
    Heather Graham Graham showing her support for the Red Sox....in underwear form. Scenes from the Adam Sandler/Jack Nicholson movie, "Anger Management" (2003).

    Fran Drescher
    (1, 2)

    Don Juan 'caps of the "The Nanny" baring a bit o' breast in scenes from the 1990 movie "Cadillac Man", starring Robin Williams and Tim Robbins.

    Keeley Hawes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the UK babe baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Complicity" (2000). You can find it on video under the title "Retribution".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    POLITICAL CELBRITY NEWS
    Take My Wife, Please - While stumping for Republicans, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is poking fun at his uncle-in-law. He said he has to return the pumpkin his kids bought because it's a Democratic pumpkin: "It has the orange color of John Kerry's tan and the roundness of Teddy Kennedy." He later said if you lined up California's budget in $100 bills, it would reach halfway around Ted Kennedy. He told the crowd that Ted is one of his favorite relatives because he comes to his house and eats all the desserts.

  • That WOULD explain why Maria is so thin.
  • If he keeps this up, the only Hummer he'll ever get is the one parked in his garage.
  • Arnold says if this causes friction in the family, he'll drive off that bridge when he comes to it.


    REALITY SHOW FAD BURNING OUT?
    No Comic Standing - The reality show fad that threatened to put TV writers and actors out of work seems to be fading. This season, scripted shows like "Desperate Housewives" are hits while several new reality show such as "The Benefactor" have bombed. Ratings for older hits like "Fear Factor," "The Bachelor" and "Last Comic Standing" have nosedived; and even megahits like "The Apprentice" are slipping. "Extreme Makeover" and "Wife Swap" are among the few major reality hits left.

  • If you really want a hit, do "Extreme Wife Makeover Swap!" Makeover both wives, then swap 'em!
  • "Extreme Makeover" has to stay on the air until there are no more ugly people left in America.
  • Viewers got bored with reality shows because now all the contestants look like TV actors.
  • But without reality shows, where will our new celebrities come from?!
  • You can only watch so many non-famous people eating worms before you say, "Hey! Why isn't Ashlee Simpson doing this?!"


    ASHLEE SIMPSON EXCUSES PILE UP
    Her Dad Said, "D'oh!" - Ashlee Simpson went through several excuses for her lip-synch disaster on "Saturday Night Live." First, she claimed her band played the wrong song. Then, her dad claimed it was just an extra backing track to fill out her voice because she was hoarse from acid reflux disease. Then Ashlee claimed she was hoarse from the stress of a heavy promotional schedule. But when fans on her website began vowing never to buy her records again, she finally admitted it was silly to blame her band, but said, "I was just so f---ing embarrassed. But I don't think it did me much harm, and people will see that soon." * She'll soon be singing live again, while working the fryer at McDonald's.

  • It was a recorded statement.
  • Now her fans are mad at her for saying "f---ing."
  • Her fans were shocked: learning that Ashlee Simpson is a no-talent fake is like hearing that Jessica Simpson's breasts aren't real.
  • If she didn't really have acid reflux disease before, she does now.


    CLUB SLAPS BACK AT ZETA-JONES
    Sweet Sue - The Spice House in Reno fired back at Catherine Zeta-Jones for suing them for using her photo on their website. Owner Kent Wallace says they're just a little topless club and Jones is a "big bully." He said the photos came from a German royalty-free graphics site; they didn't know it was her and just thought it was a beautiful woman, so she should be flattered. They removed them as soon as she complained, but she sued anyway. He said there are "butt naked" photos of her on the Internet they could have posted, but "the most famous cleavage in (her) family is on the chin of her father-in-law (Kirk Douglas)."

  • How DARE they say hers isn't the most famous cleavage! She's suing again!
  • She can't be on a royalty-free graphics site because she's royalty.
  • They didn't recognize her?! Forget the lawsuit, she's having them killed!