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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

No reviews. Got some done, but didn't have time to do the pics. I'm wearing all the hats today, as Junior vacations on a sleek Riviera playground - oh, wait a minute, he's washing a sleek Buick Riviera at the playground. Well, I was close.

Some edits:

  • A rare (new to me) shot of hotshot producer/director Betty Thomas in her salad days as "Biker Chick" in the1980 film, "Coming Attractions"
  • The biggest story of the day - first captures of Piper Perabo and Jessica Pare in "Lost and Delirious" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5). I have not seen this movie, but Roger Ebert wrote a beautiful review


Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated


scoopy's words in white, others yellow

Electronic Telegraph: Dictionary of weird words will make you cachinnate By Peter Foster (Filed: 25/10/2001)

IF the lexicographers working on the Oxford English Dictionary told bedtime stories they might go something like this:

Once upon a time, long, long ago an atrabilious bindlestiff was walking the open road when he bumped into an erubescent-cheeked gaberlunzie with a fondness for the drink. Now the gaberlunzie, as Scottish tramps often do, was nursing a thumping katzenjammer and was in no mood to listen to his new companion's incessant argle-bargle.

"Why don't you just shut up, you fucking apple-knocker. You're a pedicular-faced, pinguid-haired, fucking old blatherskite," said the Scotsman, revealing his talent for coprolalia.

The over-talkative bindlestiff, who had travelled from America and was not the brightest of men, did indeed have oily hair and a small problem with lice, but saw no reason to put up with the Scotsman's repeated use of bad language. And so, drawing his silver glalve, the bindlestiff whipped off the gaberlunzie's head at a single stroke before hacking off his hallux and sticking it in the Scottish tramp's mouth as a warning to others. The bindlestiff went on his way, cachinnating to himself, but did not notice that an argute higgler had observed his crime while keeking round the trunk of a nearby oak tree.  The local constable was alerted and the American scofflaw, discovered lollygagging with a dandiprat in a roadside inn, was soon in custody. He was tried and sentenced to be hung from the town's nubbing cheat.

Readers who find their word-power insufficient for such tales will find help in the new Oxford Dictionary of Weird and Wonderful Words which is published today.

The 30-page volume reveals an apple-knocker to be an ignoramus; a higgler to be a travelling salesmen; a katzenjammer is the headache caused by a hangover; a hallux an anatomical term for a big toe; a glalve a poetic term for a sword; argute means shrewd; scofflaw is a man who disregards the law; lollygagging is lazing; dandiprat is an insignificant young man; and to
cachinnate is to laugh long and loudly.

The dictionary, which will accompany the New Oxford Dictionary of English makes no claim to either preserving the language or reviving words that have long since passed out of common usage. The intention, according to Angus Stevenson, the project's editor at the Oxford University Press, is far more frivolous. "It's a collection of words that we liked and found ourselves using round the office.

"Like 'emacity', which means a fondness for buying things, or 'toplofty', which means an arrogant man. The book is solely for the interest and amusement of word-lovers. "Many of these words never became current even in their day but were invented by clever chaps who knew too much Latin. Today they are largely sustained by novelists who like showing off."

Concerning Tuna's mention of "Jenglish" in the "Words" offering, I  would offer this website for further examples: .  In the immortal words of SEGA of America, "All your base are belong to us."

Scoop - 

How did he get away with that? You know how the newspapers jump on George Bush and Dan Quayle every time they use a word or commit a gaffe of some kind? Well, the saintly JFK, darling of the newsboys,  probably came up with the biggest boner of them all, and the world loved him for it.

"Ich bin ein Berliner"

Everyone knew what he meant, of course, and cheered him for it, but that isn't what he said. "I come from Berlin" or "I am a Berliner" would be "Ich bin Berliner". In German, one does not use the indefinite article before a place of origin or a profession: "Ich bin Zahnartz" (I'm a dentist), "Ich bin Frankfurter" (I hail from Frankfurt).

So what did JFK actually say? "I am a pastry". 

A "Berliner" is a pastry, something like a doughnut or what Americans call a "Danish".

In fact, there is an exact grammatical parallel in English. Imagine if a man from Denmark said to you , "I am a Danish". You would know what he meant, a person from Denmark, but that isn't what he said. "I am Danish" and "I am a Danish" mean two different things. One means "I come from Denmark" one means "I am a pastry". This is exactly parallel to "Ich bin Berliner" and "Ich bin ein Berliner". One means "I come from Berlin", the other means "I am a pastry"

So why is it that JFK could make such a gaffe and be beloved for it? Imagine if Quayle had done it.

Yes, very true. Of course, it is an important part of the liberal mythos that all liberals are sophisticated multiculturalists, while all conservatives are culturally insensitive boors. (Just as it is important to the conservative mythos to paint all liberals as irresponsible, free-spending wastrels who are soft on crime.)

In fact, Republicans never have the right answer to these accusations! They always try to deny it instead of getting to the real point, which I have made many times on the page, which is that a high level of intelligence is irrelevant to the job, and has never been shown to correlate to job performance. Jimmy Carter is a very bright guy. Ronald Reagan is not. Which one seemed better suited to the presidency? Dick Nixon was smart, Harry Truman was not.  Don't you think Truman's integrity, honesty, and desire to do what was right for the country were more important credentials than Nixon's shrewd mind, which used up all its energy on doing what was right for Dick Nixon.?

A high IQ may be important for a job at NASA, but who the hell cares if the President can grasp chaos theory or do the Sunday Times crossword in ink in ten minutes? How does this qualify him to provide leadership for the free world? As we used to say in business, intelligence ain't a BFOQ.

BFOQ represents a "bona fide occupational qualification", something that allows an employer to set a discriminatory standard for hiring. Example: you normally could not set "ability to lift 200 pound bundles" as a job qualifier for managing an accounting office, because it has nothing to do with the job, and is heavily biased against women. On the other hand, if the job actually requires lifting 200 pound bundles, the ability to do so becomes a BFOQ, and you may use it as part of your screening process, even though it eliminates more women than men

Many people don't realize that not all discrimination is illegal. It is OK for employers to discriminate among people if the discrimination is actually related to the position they are applying for. Another example - suppose you are casting the movie role of "Cootie, the slack-jawed KKK wizard". It is perfectly OK to discriminate against black women in your hiring process, because being a white male is a BFOQ for that job.

The points are:

  • a high IQ is not a BFOQ for the presidency, and should never enter the discussion.
  • yes, JFK made an error of  Quayle-like proportions. JFK wasn't as smart or sophisticated as people liked to believe. Why did people still love him? People loved him because he loved them. "Ich bin ein Berliner" is a perfect example. Head is fucked up, heart is in the right place.

Dead Babies (2000)

Mood Swingers (2000) is the US vid title for Dead Babies. The film is every bit as sick as that title indicates. The residents of a large house prepare for a weekend of drugs and sex with their visitors. Visitors include three Americans, and a woman who seems to have slept with everyone before. There is a backdrop of "The Conceptualists," a group of people who never meet, perform gruesome murders, then upload pictures to their Web site.

There are 4 women all told:

  • Katy Carmichael -- see-through bra
  • Hayley Carr -- lengthy breasts, and extended full frontal
  • Alexandra Gilbreath -- Lengthy breasts, down shirt, and transparent top
  • Olivia Williams -- Lengthy breasts, then brief breasts while changing.

The music is nauseating, the dialogue is pointless, the plot is paper thin, the acting is, in no case, better than perfunctory, and the characters are the least appealing I have ever seen. IMDB readers say 4.5/10. I say D+, and only because of some very nice exposure.


Thumbnails #1

Thumbnails #2 

Alexandra Gilbreath (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Hayley Carr (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

Katy Carmichael (1, 2, 3, 4)

Olivia Williams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Group (1, 2, 3, 4)


Paranoid (2000)

Paranoid (2000) has been widely rumored to have a nip slip of Jessica Alba. Were it true, it might possibly be worth the rental price, although Blockbuster couldn't seem to rent it out, and has released it for sale. Short version? Bad movie, bad transfer, and the nip slip is really the shadow of her hand. What may have fooled some people is that she is lit from both sides.

I say it is a shadow because:

1) They went to great lengths in the rest of the film to avoid showing anything.

2) It is too far to the side

3) It is too high on the breast.

4) As they zoom in, it goes away, although the dress doesn't move up.

(Scoop says: Tuna certainly seems to be correct)

There is a partial side of her breast, and a couple of sexy shots. There is also anonymous nudity from some of the other models. The story was written and directed by John Duigan (Sirens, Lawn Dogs, Etc), but don't let that fool you. Basically, Alba goes to a party, and is held prisoner and abused. IMDGB readers give it 3.4/10. I say F. It is actually a better film than Mood Swingers (Dead Babies), but not by much, and doesn't have the nudity or decent photography.


Thumbnails #1

Jessica Alba (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)



NicNac watches Teenage Caveman

In addition to "Lost and Delirious", the other big story of the day was Larry Clark's latest nude-o-rama on cable last night, "Teenage Caveman". The featured players are: 

Crystal Grant (1, 2, 3, 4)

Tara Subkoff (1, 2)

Tiffany Limos (1, 2)

Hayley Keenan (1, 2)

In the Court of St Jimmy

Our resident Holy Man is back after a long absence, during which he has been attending to Saint-like activities. You think it's easy being a Saint? For one thing, how time-consuming is it to answer everyone's prayers? I can't even keep up with my e-mail. 

As you may remember, Jimmy is one of the more controversial saints. He doesn't have any problem with the other Temporal Works of Mercy, but he's a little shaky on that "To clothe the naked" business.

Holly Hunter in "The Piano" (1, 2)

Laura Bailey hanging out in the buff (1, 2)

Linda Gray on stage in London, in "The Graduate"


The talented European capper returns with a host of international goodies.


Way back when we began this site, Helcrom was the first guy ever to send us material with a logo on it. All these years later, he's still at it. Here's his "Sirens" series. For you ininitiated, Sirens is the Holy Grail of Celebrity Nudity - famous women, beautiful women, full frontal nudity, good light. It's enough to make you tolerate Hugh Grant.

Bjork Bjork - topless - Pagan Poetry - pierced nipples. She looks much better than in some of her previous appearances, and you can't hear her voice, so take a look.
Melissa Carlton in Click
Gwyneth Paltrow  public appearance, minor see-through action

Today's theme: the photographs of Bettina Rheims. No flesh at all today from Blackshine, but see the comment below. 

Athena Currey  

Cindy Crawford

Cindy Crawford  

Cindy Crawford  

Cindy Crawford

Elizabeth Berkley

Elizabeth Berkley  

Elizabeth Berkley. This is the famous picture of her sticking her crotch into the reeds. No nudity, but a great illusion, or something.

Elizabeth Berkley

Elizabeth Berkley  

Estelle Hallyday

Gretchen Mol  

Gwen Stefani

The Funnies
  • Pam Anderson supposedly pregnant with Kid Rock's baby

  • Drew Barrymore allegedly pregnant with Tom Green's baby

  • Steffi Graf sleeping with Andre Agassi

Does the antichrist work like the Highlander immortals - can there be only one?


* A Danish gossip magazine says that after fighting in Denmark last week, Mike Tyson is buying a house in Copenhagen and will move there to continue his explorations into "the beautiful blonde Danish girls"

* According to a new European fashion marketing study, British women have the biggest breasts in Europe, followed by Dutch women, 24.7 percent of  whom are at least a D cup

Pat Reeder's (Comedy Wire) comments: ...that gives new meaning to the term "Dutch Treat", but Mike Tyson said, "Damn!  And I already bought that house in Denmark!"

My daughter has been playing Yo mamma, Osama, and has been raving about how funny it is. It is free.


You've probably noticed that I've been mostly silent in making jokes about the war stuff. Mostly, I don't think it's funny. Oh, some of it is. Certainly Osama and the official Taliban spokesmen, with their endless self-contradictions, deserve any ridicule they receive, but I don't see the fun in jokes about bombs and destruction and the suffering of the Afghani people.

The only difference between civilians and soldiers in Afghanistan is that the Taliban haven't caught the civilians and forced them to fight yet. So the people that die on their front lines are not really our enemies, but just more victims. So far, the real enemies remain unpunished.

So far.

On the other hand, I don't see any sense in making fun of Bush's actions either. In principle, we all support what he's trying to do. But I think we must realize that we are doing what we have to do because we have to do it, and we should treat the loss of human life as a onerous burden we all share, and not as a source of casual laughs.

Celeb Talk

Scoop - Two suggestions that you might like your 'sources' to track down:

(1) Dennis Hopper admitted in an interview I once read that he really "did the dirty" with a South American actress in a scene shot beside a waterfall in the movie "The Last Movie".  He says he wanted to leave in the 'insert shots' but decided against it. Does anyone have any caps???

(2) You've got caps of Kristine de Bell from Bill Oscoe's "Alice in Wonderland", but what about caps from the movie of some of the other women in this fun film -- I've only seen the heavily censored UK version, so I've never been quite clear how explicit the rest of the movie was.

Scoop's note: Any help out there? I don't think I've ever seen Alice, amazingly enough. I have seen The Last Movie, but I have forgotten everything about it except that it stunk.

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