section includes Scoop's site notes, images, vids, web finds,
"Home for lunch and watching Y&R. Appears to me that Michelle Stafford aka
Phyllis was wearing a black dress that may have been see through. Just
wondering if anyone out there potentially capped this."
Scoop's note: Anyone? Bueller?
Love Camp (1981):
This is a soft-core
sex film, also known as Divine Emanuelle, Death-goddess of the Love
Camp, Love Cult, and probably several other names. The DVD is called
Divine Emanuelle, but it has no connection to the Emanuelle series
other than that the star is Laura Gemser, who was the "Black
Emanuelle" back in the 70s. She is not playing the original character
in this film, and her character in the film is not even named
Emanuelle. The divine part of the title works, however, since Gemser's
character is called the Divine One
This had to be one of the
"highest-concept" nudie films ever. First, imagine a cult kind of like
the Jonestown group, ostensibly about peace and love, but doomed
eventually to ritualistic mass suicide/murder. The cult is ruled by a
woman who enforces strict rules: if the girls in the Love Camp refuse
to support the cult by having sex with strangers, they get whipped and
beaten. If a couple decides to become monogamous, they get whipped and
beaten. If somebody misses a semicolon when transcribing a cult ritual
... well, you know the drill. One girl even got a beating for - I'm
not making this up - refusing to let some hairy, drunken guy stick a
light candle up her ass. Just about everything earns a whipping
or beating, the number of lashes ranging from a minimum for getting a
hangnail, all the way to the maximum for paying too much for a muffler
for the Love Jeep. The one thing that does not earn a whipping is
trying to leave the cult, which earns being tossed down a bottomless
pit by a guy who seems to have escaped from one of those "sons of
Hercules" movies, except that he's sculpted his facial hair in a
futile attempt to disguise himself as Abner Doubleday.
One's biggest money producer is a long-haired "peace and love" guy who
looks and talks like the original DNA model from which Owen Wilson was
cloned. He doesn't live in Love Camp, but in a stark apartment in town
where he has given up all his worldly possessions except a radio, a
telephone, and some candles. Owen Wilson Guy is assigned to bring in
the recruits, while Hercules Guy is assigned to keep them there. The
shit really hits the sacred fan when Owen Wilson Guy beings in the
daughter of a wealthy U.S. Senator, then falls in love with her, then
tries to escape - prompting a one-on-one battle between Owen Wilson
Guy and Hercules Guy. Sound like a mismatch? Well, Owen Guy is a
master of the oriental arts, but it really doesn't do any good,
because Herc just stands there with his arms crossed and allows Owen
to hit him a few hundred times to no avail.
On the way to their
ultimate doom, the cultists sing several groovy original musical
numbers, ala "Hair," and each of the numbers reflects their mood
at the time. There's even a groovy End of Days number which they do
during the mass orgy which precedes the ritual suicide. The suicide
itself consists of Hercules Guy planting some dynamite charges which
are timed to explode while the orgiasts are fucking their way into
And there you go. The Senator's daughter finally helps
Owen defeat Herc, the camp blows up, and the senator is relieved
that his daughter is the only survivor - so relieved that he even
gives his daughter a thumbs-up on her relationship with Owen.
That's actually quite a bit of plot for what is
essentially just a nudie film. Of course, it includes bad songs, bad
acting, bad dubbing, bad sets, and bad dialogue, but it is not the
boring kind of bad. It is the ludicrous high-camp kind of bad that
will have you guffawing out loud at scene after scene. If MST3K ever
does an R-rated movie, this is the one they need!
Apart from the
general silliness, the film does,in fact, deliver what it is supposed
to: non-stop nudity, male and female, during dance and romp scenes,
during various sex scenes short of penetration, and during an orgy
with a hundred or more participants. Laura Gemser has sex with several
people of both sexes, many of them in excellent light. Many other
attractive women get naked or just stay naked constantly.
Unfortunately, the film has no closing credits, so I don't know who
any of them are, although several could be identified by the
characters' names. IMDb offers no assistance in this regard.
quality of the full-screen transfer is inconsistent. Some scenes are
lustrously colorful, while other scenes are substantially worse.
Either the DVD producers worked from multiple sources, or lighting was
inconsistent in the original film. On balance, however, the good
outweighs the bad.
The DVD is uncut, and has a surprisingly rich
assortment of additional material. There are many, many minutes of
deleted/unused footage from the film and from alternate trailers, and
there is also a gallery of various promotional stills and posters. The
quality of the extra material ranges from abysmal to outstanding, but
if you are a Laura Gemser fan, it is well worth culling through it for
the outstanding material.
How can you complain? Nudity in almost
every frame, hot girl-on-girl action, pretty good quality on the
transfer, tons of extra footage, and a ludicrous high-camp film that
will have you laughing out loud. Pretty enjoyable crap!
Cobb is the story of sportswriter Al Stump who, during the
course of his career, wrote two very different biographies of baseball immortal Ty
Cobb. Stump's dilemma was whether to tell the story Cobb wanted him
to, or to tell the truth. He chose to romanticize Cobb in the first biography,
and not until years later did he write the story accurately.
The film chronicles a trip in which Cobb and Stump traveled together to the Hall of Fame for a testimonial. Stump was to work on the
(first) biography en route.
The film was directed by Ron Shelton, who has brought us many
popular sports films including The Best of Times, Bull Durham, White
Men Can't Jump, and Tin Cup. Cobb was not as popular at the box office
as Shelton's other films, and the probable reason for that is that Ty Cobb
himself, arguably the greatest ballplayer of all time, and the first
inducted into the hall of fame, was a world class maniac and monster.
Although the film does not neglect
Cobb's brilliant baseball career, or the successful stock trading
which left him very wealthy, the star is accurately shown to be a
bigoted, foul-mouthed, hard-drinking, abusive bully who always carried
a loaded gun (even on his death bed). Hence, the entire film is
about an extremely unsympathetic character. Roger Ebert accurately
isolated the film's greatest problem in his largely unfavorable two
star review: Ty Cobb was simply not someone you would willingly spend
128 minutes with.
James Berardinelli liked it better at three stars, and
pointed out how well the film shows the gap between legend and real
life. Both Ebert and Berardinelli are right, in my opinion. Cobb does
accomplish everything it was trying to do. I found it a very
well made film. Cobb was played brilliantly by Tommy Lee Jones, and
Robert Wuhl did fine as the everyman, "Stumpy." On the other hand,
it's a film about a despicable character, and the experience of
sharing his life is often unpleasant. '
"The L Word"
Season 2, episode 13
** In 1973 the prolific director John
Frankenheimer made a movie called "Story of a Love Story" aka Impossible
Object. It stars Alan Bates and 1970's French babe Dominique Sanda, and
never obtained a cinema release according to the IMDb.
I"ll just present you here the most interesting parts of the movie for Fun
Dominique Sanda exposing her beautiful breasts in several short scenes,
- Italian actress Lea Massari, fully nude, but somehow managing to show
only far-off breasts and buns.
** In "The Hunted" (1995) we can enjoy some romantic toplessness by
Chen in a huge bath tub.
Dann reports on Carlito's Way: The Rise To Power:
"Fans of 1993's
Carlito's Way may be disappointed in this 2005 prequel, but mob story
lovers should find it interesting.
While the original showed Carlito trying to escape his mob past, this
one shows how Carlito and two jailhouse buddies became heroin kingpins in
1960s New York, pitting one local faction against the other.
Not really similar to the original, and maybe not as good, but a pretty
cool gangster picture nevertheless."
Urban Legends Reference Pages: (Will there really be a Grand
TED KOPPEL LEAVING ‘NIGHTLINE’ TO HOST MTV’S “TRL”
Dateline Hollywood : PIXAR MAKES OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS ON STUDIOS
... "Contract requires partner company to rename itself 'Pixar's
"Conan, you have wronged me."
Lawsuit claims: Apple knew its Nano portable music player was
defective but still decided to press on with the product's
release last month.
The making of "KILLER DILLER"
- A guitar-playing car thief meets an autistic savant piano
player, and together they transform a group of reluctant
halfway house convicts into The Killer Diller Blues Band.
The trailer for Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
- "In a new diplomatic effort, Washington D.C. sends
comedian Albert Brooks to India and Pakistan to find out what
makes the Muslims laugh."
Four clips from The Legend Of Zorro (See sub-menu in the
dark blue box left of screen)
How Scary Is 'Saw II'? Check Out A Six-Minute Clip
The trailer and two clips from Natalie Portman's new drama, Free
- Rebecca, an American who has been living in Jerusalem for
a few months now, has just broken off her engagement. She gets
into a cab driven by Hanna, an Israeli. But Hanna is on her
way to Jordan, to the Free Zone, to pick up a large sum of
money that "the American", her husband's partner, owes them.
Rebecca persuades Hanna to take her along. When they reach the
Free Zone, Leila, a Palestinian, explains that the American
isn't there and that the money has vanished ...
To go with its "best novels" summary,
Time Magazine picks the all-time best GRAPHIC novels
Zack Attack! Media attack, that is.
- "Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack from 'Saved by the Bell') is
joining the cast of the new ABC drama 'Commander in Chief,'
where he'll play a slick media strategist."
"DEMOCRATS SEEKING WAYS TO SQUANDER HISTORIC OPPORTUNITY"
... "We Will Manage to Screw This Up, Vows Dean"
Colbert Report: Un-American News: "Ever walk into a room and
everyone stops talking? That's how it feels to be America."
Jon Stewart talks to The Rock
The Daily Show investigates whether a woman president could
OK, call me a chicken, but I'm not going on the Top Thrill
Dragster at Cedar Point. Not now. Not ever.
- "It should be noted that Top Thrill Dragster is currently
Standing But Not Operating or SBNO. After an earlier breakdown late in 2005 it opened again on 10.07.05 and went down
again on 10.09.05. Cedar Point has released official
statements that it would not open again for the remainder of
the 2005 season."
Videos (I couldn't get the Windows Media to work but the
Quicktime works fine)
- ... and here are
Texas takes over BCS top spot! USC second. Nobody else close to
George Clooney has revealed he considered killing himself after
an accident on a film set.
Stay, as reviewed by the man who truly puts the "me" in "mise en
scene" - The Filthy Critic
- "Thank God the pilgrims invented words like claptrap and
horseshit. Because the only other succinct way to express your
feelings about a movie like this is to punch someone in the
face. And they put you in jail for doing that. They don't put
you in jail for saying 'horseshit', though. Unless you write
it in herbicide on a neighbor's lawn. A lesson my cousin Terry
learned the hard way."
New York Observer's submission for headline of the day
Hillary’s Chest Gets Bigger
As ’08 Gets Closer
. As Pat Reeder noted in the Comedy Wire
(www.comedy-wire.com), that should get Bill working closer to
The Encyclopedia of Lesbian Movie Scenes
Early candidate for headline of the day:
Penguin men jailed for 42 years for murders. Typical. Batman
gets the henchmen, but the master criminal always escapes.
Unused "raw feed" material from the set-up phase before Nixon's
resignation speech. (Find it under "outtakes")
- He surprised everyone by saying, "Oops! As it turns out, I
was a crook," but the scene never made it into the final cut.
- I'm kidding, of course, but it is amazing that he was in
such a jovial mood.
CELEBS DODGING "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" TITLE
Every 007 Is Fired Eventually - It's the 20th anniversary of People magazine's
"Sexiest Man Alive" title, but they can't find anyone willing to take it because
it's seen as a curse. Previous winners include JFK Jr. (deceased); Nick Nolte
(arrested); Jude Law (scandalous break-up); George Clooney (injury); Pierce
Brosnan (fired as 007); Harry Hamlin, Patrick Swayze and Ben Affleck (career
meltdowns). Brad Pitt won twice: both times, he had flop movies, and the second
time, a messy divorce. A film critic said the title makes people root for the
pretty boy to fail. But one skeptic said you could make a list of cursed
non-Sexiest Men winners, from Michael Jackson to Robert Blake.
* This year, they're the only celebrities willing to take
* Yeah, this curse talk is silly! We ALWAYS root for every pretty boy to fail!
* At least Nick Nolte got one flattering picture of himself out of it.
* Yeah, poor Brad Pitt ended up with Angelina Jolie! It's a curse, I tells ya!
LOTTERY WINNER NOT ENTHUSIASTIC
Anonymity: Priceless - Steven West of Jacksonville, Oregon, won the record $340
million Powerball lottery, but he doesn't seem too thrilled. He said he'd never
played before, he thought he was "just throwing away $40," and he and his wife
don't want their lives to change radically and keep saying, "Maybe we shouldn't
have bought that." He agreed to appear on "Good Morning America" only if his
face isn't shown. He said he wants a sports car and his wife wants a new house,
but other than that, he just wants to keep working as a landscaper.
* So he bought Oregon, and he's landscaping it.
* On the bright side, he can now afford to pay his workers minimum wage.
* Really, he'd be happy to settle for getting his $40 back.
FEMINIST PARTY GOES TOO FAR
"Norva?" - In Sweden, sexual equality is so ingrained, half the parliament is
female, but the new Feminist Initiative Party took a dive in polls after radical
gender studies professor Tiina Rosenberg took charge and issued a party
platform. It called for taxing men to pay for all the evil they do, abolishing
marriage and adding more non-gender-specific names such as "Robin" and "Norva"
to the list of approved names parents must choose from for their babies. The
media ridiculed her as a lunatic. Defenders claimed they were just attacking
her because she's a lesbian.
* Really? A lesbian?! Get outta here!
* At least she has experience in taking a dive.
* She wants to abolish all marriage, except gay marriage.
* If everyone has a non-gender-specific name, it's gonna make it hard to tax
Scoop's note: Swedish parents have to choose baby names
from an approved list? As Johnny C. would have said, " I did not know that."
BEST HOLIDAY TOY IS LOW-TECH
And A Stocking Full Of Grout - Hamley's department store in London announced its
annual list of the best holiday toys. They include: I-Video, a digital video
camera that kids can plug into a TV and edit their own films; an electric
go-kart called Billy Kart; and the #1 best toy of the year: "creaAtiles", a set
of 49 colorful fabric and velcro tiles made by a tiny London company. The
judges said it was perfect for inspiring young imaginations. It's also much
more low-tech than last year's winner: the Robosapien robot.
* Also, unlike last year's winner, it won't kill people
in their sleep.
* I'm so old, I remember when velcro was high-tech.
* It inspires kids' imaginations: they look at it and think, "What the heck am
I gonna do with a box full of tiles?..."
* The tiles are really cool: kids can make movies of themselves driving their
go-karts over them.
AD GURU LOSES JOB
He's Had Lots Of Chivas Thrown In His Face - WWP Group PLC Marketing accepted
the resignation of advertising guru Neil French, after he infuriated women at an
industry speech in Toronto. As a woman in a French maid outfit brought him
drinks, he said women don't make it to the top at ad agencies because "they're
crap;" they don't commit to the job, want to take time off every time their kids
are ill, and "inevitably wimp out and go suckle something." French is known for
his in-your-face style, such as a classic ad for Chivas Regal that said, "If you
don't recognize it, you're probably not ready for it."
* Sounds like before this speech, he was ready for a LOT of Chivas Regal.
* If you don't recognize that you're blowing your career with your big mouth,
you probably weren't ready for it.
DEAD MAN CRASHES MOTORCYCLE
CSI: Tijuana - Friday in downtown Tijuana, Mexico, a motorcyclist with a man
seated behind him lost control and skidded. A police officer came over to
investigate and found that the passenger was a dead man who'd been strapped to
the driver's back. Police said he'd been dead at least six hours and was riding
all over Tijuana.
* He was ticketed for not wearing a helmet and released.
* They were shooting a movie called "Weekend at Bernardo's."
* No wonder they call Tijuana the "land of enchantment!"
JANET JACKSON'S SECRET DAUGHTER?
Rhythm Method Nation - Young DeBarge, whose brother James was briefly married to
Janet Jackson in the 1980s, made the bombshell claim that Janet has a secret
18-year-old daughter named Renee. Young said Renee was sent away in shame to
live with Janet's sister Rebbie, and the girl is not happy about her mom's
refusal to acknowledge her existence. Janet's rep didn't deny it, but said
Janet had no comment.
* Except, "Are these the abs of someone who's had a
* The kid should just be grateful she wasn't sent away with live with Michael.
* Normally, a kid would be devastated at being kicked out of her own family,
but when it's the Jacksons, it's like dodging a bullet.
* Now, we can see what Janet would've looked like without plastic surgery.
NEW "WIZARD OF OZ" IN TOO-SHARP FOCUS
Margaret Hamilton In High-Def! Yippee! - Warners is releasing a new
high-resolution DVD of "The Wizard of Oz" that's so sharp, the restorers say it
reveals the production tricks, enabling viewers to see everything from the
trapdoor the Witch sinks through to the fishing line that holds up the Cowardly
Lion's tail. A spokesman said they didn't want to add or remove anything, so
"we didn't remove the fishing lines as a matter of philosophy."
* They just didn't have the nerve...Or the brains or the
* You can see all the MGM men behind the curtain, but pay no attention to them.
* You can see the fleas on the flying monkeys...Toto, too!
* You can see the Thom McAn label on the ruby slippers...The outline of a diet
pill bottle in Judy Garland's apron pocket...And three Munchkins flashing each
HUTTON TO POSE NUDE AT 62
Miss December - Model/actress Lauren Hutton refused $1 million to pose nude in
the 1970s, but she's doing it next month, when she turns 62. Big magazine is
doing an issue in her honor and asked her to pose nude. She was shocked, but
her 14 godchildren said she looked okay in a swimsuit and it would be
"inspirational." She said she wants women to stop listening to a 2,000-year-old
patriarchal society and being "ashamed of who they are when they're in bed." She
also insisted that for the first time, her photos not be retouched, because
"where would you start?"
* The gap in her teeth?
* She won't inspire a lot of 60-something women to pose nude, because most of
them already have, for charity calendars.
"FRIDAY THE 13TH" ANNIVERSARY PARTY
Devil's Food - Saturday night at the ScreamFest Horror Film Festival at
Universal Studios in Los Angeles, alumni of all 11 "Friday the 13th" movies
gathered for a 25th anniversary party. The creators unveiled a coffee table
book about the movie series and sang "Happy Birthday" to an actor dressed as
Jason, who then pulled out a machete and hacked off the first piece.
* How could he have known there was a girl inside that cake?
* The actors who made these movies were just grateful for free food.
CRUISE'S POPULARITY NOSEDIVES
And He Owes It All To Scientology - Tom Cruise's sudden promotions of
Scientology, attacks on psychiatry and over-the-top declarations of love for
Katie Holmes are not sitting well with fans. In the latest Genius Starpower
survey, he's plunged from the 12th most-popular star to the 50th. Worse, he
dropped from 11th most-liked star to 197th. But he did make the top five list
of most controversial actors, those who are either passionately liked or
disliked, along with David Spade, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Green and Pauly Shore.
* Tom's decided to really torpedo his career and make
that the cast of "Mission Impossible 3."
* The only person they could find who still likes him is Katie Holmes.
* If this depresses Tom, I prescribe exercise and vitamins.
* Say, wasn't he once named People's "Sexiest Man Alive?"
Michael Drennon of Philadelphia was charged with robbing a Wachovia Bank Friday,
but the FBI said "it wasn't a huge forensic undertaking," since he wrote the
hold-up note on his pay stub with his name and address crossed out with a marker
...A yellow highlighting marker
...Then he left behind the marker, which was engraved with
...He'd better hire Robert Blake's lawyer.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan or ICMS, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.