"God, Sex, & Apple Pie"
God, Sex, & Apple Pie (1998) is reminiscent of The Big Chill, in that a group of old friends are meeting over 4th of July weekend for a yearly get-together at a Lake Tahoe cabin. We have a failed comic who delivers mail for a living, drinks, and has no women in his life. Another is a stock broker in danger of indictment for insider trading, there with his wife, who works for the bar association. We have a starving artist and his model girlfriend, a wannabe singer/composer who has never made it big and his girlfriend, and a TV newsman about to make it big, with his housewife spouse. He is cheating on her with a another news personality.
The artist and his girlfriend, Andrea Leithe, are having sex when the others arrive, and scramble to get dressed. We see her buns, and a rear gyno-cam view. That is it for the nudity in the film, and there isn't much else worth seeing. Their dramas play out like a daytime soap, and everyone has a happy resolution to their problems and agrees to meet the next year. The deleted scenes have more exposure from Leithe. Although we never see her breasts and face in the same frame, it is one long shot, and is definitely her.
IMDB readers have this at 4.0 of 10. It boasts winning several film festivals that I have never heard of. My problem with it may have been generational, as there are several positive comments at IMDB, but I found this low budget effort a total snooze-fest. C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Sunset Grill (1993):
In the Olympics they won't let a 150 pound man wrestle
against a 170 pound man because it just isn't a fair match. But in the
movies, one drunken stumblebum private eye armed with a BB gun can
overcome all of the following:
- Several corrupt INS officials
- The Mexican border federales.
- The world's richest man and several doctors, who
are running a scam to use illegal immigrants as unwilling heart and
- The world's richest man's connections, which "go
so high up the ladder God can't see the top".
- Several thugs who look like a cross between Dolph
Lundgren and Andre the Giant, and are better armed than the Iraqi
- Treacherous girlfriends.
- Incompetent associates.
- Sarcastic bartenders.
Very realistic movie.
Stacy Keach plays, or maybe I should say overplays,
the world's richest man, and he says that ripping hearts
out of living victims is OK because:
- They are doing it for a good cause, to give the
gift of life to senior members of the Republican Party and other
equally important members of society.
- The Aztecs did it, and his own victims are
descended from the Aztecs, so they are culturally prepared for it.
OK, fair enough. I was having some problem with it,
but then when he explained the Aztec thing, I could relate to it.
I think I've pointed out that in an earlier life I was
an Aztec. In fact, I still hold the Aztec record for finishing second in
the Aztec games for 32 consecutive years. In a bizarre example of reverse genetic engineering,
the Aztecs would rip out the hearts of the winners, since
only the finest specimens were adequate propitiations for
I remember giving many a heartfelt interview with
reporters for the Aztec Times, where I apologized to my
fans and those who bet on me, explained that I couldn't
fathom how I blew a 40 yard lead in the 100 yard dash,
and promised to train much harder for the next year's
games, because I was really looking forward to having my
heart ripped out so I could join those gods.
OK, the film isn't so great, but if you are a real connoisseur of
celebrity nudity, you need to own this DVD, which includes three and
a half minutes of deleted scenes. That is, my friends, 210 minutes of
Robocop and Alexandra Paul fuckin' ! There is also an excellent widescreen transfer which blows away
all previous versions of the film.
I am pleased with the DVD. If you can get past the completely
ludicrous premise, the film has some good moments in a decent
widescreen transfer, and three sexy naked chicks, plus the deleted
Alexandra Paul footage, which is better than decent value for the
bargain pricing. Available from
Amazon for $10.49 on November
- Sandra Wild. Thumbnails
- Sandra Wild (1,
- Alexandra Paul. Thumbnails
- Alexandra Paul (1,
. Even if you re a complete expert on celeb
nudity, you will see plenty of new material here.
- Lori Singer. Thumbnails.
- Lori Singer (1,
Tuna's review and pictures cover all that needs to be covered
with this film, except one thing.
The film is marketed as having starred Uschi Digard. We can't
figure out how that could be. Tuna went through all the women in the
movie and determined by the process of elimination that the blond
one must have been Uschi. But there's no way. This one picture says
it all. There's no chance that woman is Uschi. But the problem is
this. If she isn't Uschi, where the hell is Uschi in this movie? It doesn't seem that
she could be any of the other women, either. I can only come up with
three remaining explanations:
Either 1) Uschi is not in the picture, and it has been
or 2) This 65 minute film is part of a longer film, and Uschi has
been cut out of the short version.
or 3) Uschi is in the credits because she did the
heavily-accented female voice-over, but does not appear on camera.
By the way, Uschi is not listed anywhere on the actual film, but
she is listed on the DVD box, and on many sources such as IMDb.
(That doesn't mean much. It only takes one incorrect listing to
propagate misinformation throughout the internet.)
All I can tell you is "save your money" if you are planning to
get that film to see a young Uschi. It ain't gonna happen.
Vampire Lesbian Kickboxers- The Movie!
Courtney Love says she tried to make her recent
drug overdose 'fun' for her 11-year-old daughter.
Wow, now that's a wacky, hip mom. If you think that was fun,
imagine what a laugh-a-minute adventure mom and daughter had
over that whole zany Cobain suicide thing!
"Sandra Bullock will reprise her role as an FBI
agent in a sequel to the 2000 hit film, 'Miss Congeniality.'
Thank God for that news. I don't know how much longer I could
have held my breath.
Afghan beauty trades burka for bikini:
Afghan woman is first to enter beauty contest in 30 years. Next
step: get rid of that whole Robin Williams/Ed Asner look on the
legs and back.
HOLLYWOOD actress Nicole Kidman is planning to
wed rocker Lenny Kravitz.
Our former humor columnist once wrote that you can identify a
racist if he still thinks all brothers can sing, even after
hearing Lenny Kravitz.
Who is the baddest ass in movie history. Get
involved in the Maxim face-off
2002 Homemade Bikini Contest at the Hog's Breath
Saloon :: Key West, Florida.
Mel Gibson had better hope God isn't a movie
critic - the actor who plays Jesus in his new film was struck by
lightning during production.
A British couple have been forced to move because
of the shame caused by the name of their street -- Butt Hole
The all time greatest wall-breaker, The Kool-Aid
Man, strikes at U. Maryland
If, like me, you really loved the wrestlers that
got their asses kicked every week on the TV matches, The Jobber
Hall of Fame will stir some great memories.
My favorites: The Duke of Dorchester and Iron Make Sharp.
The good news - you can live to be 500. The bad
news - we have to cut off your dick.
In other stories today, David Gest registered to run for
President in the 2404 elections.
Atari Adventure - the granddaddy of computer
Stoke Park Club - online golf game
Eminem's White America video
How many airplanes are in flight over North
America at this moment? Flight Explorer has the answer
Walt Disney Studios to remaking HERBIE THE LOVE
CBS | Late Show Top Ten Messages on Steve
Bartman's Answering Machine
Carrot Top's rep insisted that the freckle-faced alleged
funnyman is definitely not gay. Interestingly, nobody had asked.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
While cleaning up after the Hefmate post of a couple days ago, I looked at some of the frames I'd grabbed of the lovely Roselyn Sanchez. 'Specially of her caboose. There are two scenes in Boat Trip where Ms. Sanchez strips off her top whilst pointed away from the camera... damn the luck.
First one, in Cuba Gooding's room, indicates that Roselyn has an extraordinary rumpus, the kind you see on a gal who works out for hours a day.
Second one, on the beach, suggests she stopped working out, oh maybe six months between the two scenes.
Either that or one of them is body double. Prob'ly the top panel, don't you think 'cuz you wouldn't expect them to go out and get a gal with a broader bum to wear a bikini bottom and pretend to be the star. Plus, if memory serves, the one on the beach either begins or continues to the point where Roselyn's face is shown and you can tell its her.
Okay, then, second collage has a couple of frames where I thought maybe Ms. Sanchez had let her loose white top fall open just far enough. Or maybe not. The frames were taken from a part of the scene when the camera was pretty darn far away and I played with sharpening them but... oh well.
Second bit of silliness today involves the movie, Seniors. Two other folk who do this movie capping stuff have identified two of the previously unknown topless babes from this movie.
First one is Chantal Westerman. And since we know who she is now, I worked on the collage a bit more and changed the header to indicate her name.
Second one makes me very happy. When I capped this movie the girl in the shower looked very familiar and I thought she might be a Hefmate of that era. But none of the names matched women I knew to have been monthly persons of the bunnymag type. Glorioski, it turns out she is Ashley Cox, Hefmate for Dec '77.
So I changed the header to the collage I had sent in previously AND I constructed a new collage of all the frames I grabbed from this scene.
The guy she is showering with is Dennis Quaid and you will notice that whereas she is nekkid, he has his pants on. Hmmm, I do wonder what that is all about. Ya think mebbe Dennis was afraid to show his privates even outside the camera's view?
From "NYPD Blue" we have...
- Amy Brenneman, in undies and baring her bum.
- Sherry Stringfield, also baring her bum as well as showing some partial breast views.
Next up...proof that the temperature down in Hell is a little cooler these days.
- Former porn star turned B-movie actress Traci Lords makes a guest appearance on the WB show "Gilmore Girls".
'Caps and comments by Gentleman George:
A few 'caps of Jamie Lee Curtis in her undies, showing some amazing cleavage and an amazing body in scenes from the Governator movie "True Lies"!
- Jamie Lee Curtis
|Behind the scenes pics of J-Lo's huge posterior while filming a video.
||The pop singer showing some cleavage in scenes from her video for the song "Intuition".
|The co-star of "Rain Man", "Big Top Pee-wee" and the "Hot Shots!" movies topless in Señor Skin 'caps from the Italian movie "Respiro" (2002).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BACKLASH AGAINST REAGAN MOVIE
He Said "Mommy," Not "Commie!" - A backlash is growing against CBS's
upcoming TV movie starring James Brolin as Ronald Reagan. Since the script
was leaked to the New York Times, Reagan historians, colleagues and family
members have denounced what they say are slanderous inaccuracies. It
depicts Reagan suggesting that gays deserve to die of AIDS, cursing and
taking the Lord's name in vain, calling people "commies," and admitting he
named names during the McCarthy era, none of which he really did. Angry
conservatives are now using the Internet and talk radio to organize a
boycott of any advertiser that sponsors the movie.
There are no advertisers: CBS is presenting it as a public service.
Not good enough! Boycott anyone who bankrolls ANY James Brolin movie!
They never should've let Barbra Streisand write it.
Hey, it's a TOTALLY ACCURATE depiction!...Of what CBS thinks of Ronald
They did cut out a scene where he has sex in the Oval Office, because
who'd believe any president would do that?
You know you're in trouble when the New York Times criticizes your
POLITICALLY CORRECT HUMPTY DUMPTY
They Must Be Cracked - Glasgow's Sunday Mail reports that a new taped
version of nursery rhymes sold in Scotland has a new ending for kids who
might be traumatized by Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall and breaking.
Instead of ending with all the king's horses and all the king's men not
being able to put him together again, this version ends, "Humpty Dumpty
opened his eyes; Falling down was such a surprise. Humpty Dumpty counted to
10, then Humpty Dumpty got up again."
But from that point on, his brains were scrambled.
It's the Hollywood version: Humpty Dumpty as "The Terminator!"
And the king decided that all his men were useless and had them
FACING REALITY: "REALITY AWARDS" SPECIAL SCRAPPED
They Were The Only Ones - The producer of ABC's planned awards special for
reality TV shows said it's been scrubbed because rival networks refused to
provide clips and discouraged cast members from appearing, even though all
the ones he talked to were "very excited."
They get excited about anything that includes a free meal.
The other networks told him to go eat bugs.
Without the clips, it would just be a special called "Night of a
COURTNEY MADE HER O.D. "FUN FOR KIDS!"
The Barfing Was Sorta Fun - Courtney Love said when she recently O.D.'ed on
OxyContin, she "made it fun" for her 11-year-old daughter by letting her
make green tea while waiting for the ambulance, and telling her that mommy
had to make herself throw up, and it would be gross but okay. Love, who's
trying to get custody back from her mother-in-law, said, "That's the only
time my daughter has ever, ever, ever pitched in on one of my little
Except before she was born, when she had to deal with a little heroin.
Really? I assumed that was what she did to earn her weekly allowance.
She could start a new holiday: "Take Your Daughter to Rehab Day."