"The Teacher"

The Teacher (1974) -- On the one hand, we have a lame plot, universally poor acting, a green tinted and undersaturated 4/3 transfer full of nicks and dust, bad sound and an incredibly bad soundtrack. On the other hand, we have Angel Thompkins naked. Angel is a 28 year old school teacher, separated from her husband. Jay North (Dennis the Menace) is 18, just graduated, a virgin, and really likes Thompkins. Fortunately for him, and for us, she decides to seduce him.

There is a fly in the ointment. A deranged vet, and brother of North's best friend is fixated on her. We see lots of breast and buns from Thompkins, and a hint of bush is several scenes, including topless sunbathing on her boat as the guys spy with binoculars, a shower, and several sex scenes.

IMDB has this at 2.7 of 10. Thompkins is worth looking at, but this transfer degrades the film's one positive element. D-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Angel Tompkins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Sopranos, Season 4:

    Hey, it's another fuckin' year gone by. You believe dat shit? You're thinkin' "yo, what about da fuckin' caps".

    Hey, cap dis.

    I got yer fuckin' caps right heah.

    • Season 4, Episode 1 - unknown topless woman
    • Season 4, Episode 6 - Tone Christensen topless (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Season 4, Episode 7 - various strippers topless (1, 2)
    • Season 4, Episode 8 - Leslie Bega's breasts (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Season 4, Episode 9 - Leslie Bega's other two B's (is this the first pubic hair from the series?) (1, 2, 3)
    • Season 4, Episode 13 - Oksana Babiy in a kinda-sorta transparent bra


    Here is the complete Season 4 Episode Guide. To convert the episode numbers, add 39 to the numbers shown in the caps above. Thus, Season 4, episode 1, as listed above,  is actually episode 40. (They do 13 per year.) The episode guides for the other years are also available on their site.





    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated







    I hope someone has captured Melissa Gilbert's nipple slip (left breast) in the her first scene with the movie writer in Hollywood Wives.



    I was catching up on some back dailies, and saw some unknowns in your August 20 edition of the Funhouse that I recognized. In the part of “Justine: In the Heat of Passion”, you had two Unknowns shown, which are photos of Stephanie Swift. Checking IMDB, Ms. Swift is listed as an “uncredited” cast member.





    The end of civilization is near.

    Did  you  catch Tracie Lords (Tracie Elizabeth Lords)  on  Gilmore  Girls  last  night? What's  next........Ron  Jeremy  on  7th  Heaven?





    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Not much, today... just two fine-looking A-list actresses in their (as yet) one major bit of screen nekkidness.

    Amanda Peet in Whole Nine Yards. Ah yes, a movie that makes cop-killing hired guns look cute and wonderful and oh so funny. There is one things about her gun-totin' scene that I was wondering about. 'Twas my impression that modern ammunition was smokeless... so what exactly is that stuff she's waving aside after blowing away the bad guys?

    • Amanda Peet (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Mary Elizabeth Mastrontonio in January Man. Wonderful scene, gorgeous woman, terrific actress. She and Kevin Kline were peerless in this film, and then you add Alan Rickman and you got yourself a winner, sports fans.

    • Mary Elizabeth Mastrontonio (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Alicia Silverstone
    Christine Harnos

    From aomething I've never heard of before..."Cool and the Crazy" (1994). A pre-"Clueless" Silverstone is seen in black undies, and Harnos is topless in a love scene.

    Emily Procter
    Tara Reid
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Both ladies are topless and Reid also bares her bum in sex scenes from "Body Shots" (1999).

    Phoebe Cates
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    A 19 year old Cates baring all in scenes from her very first movie, "Paradise" (1982).

    Jennifer Connelly
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    The queen of Fun House showing off her amazing breasts in scenes from two movies. Links 1-3 are from "Mulholland Falls" (1996), and links 4-6 are from "Of Love and Shadows" (1994).

    Laetitia Casta
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    The gorgeous French supermodel nekkid in 2 movies. Links 1-4 feature her gorgeous breasts as well as some pubes in scenes from "Gitano" (2000). Links 5-7 she bares breasts and bum in "La "Bicyclette bleue" (2000).

    Salma Hayek
    (1, 2, 3)

    Continuing with Hugo's "amazing breasts" theme...Here is the Latina beauty topless in scenes from her Oscar nominated performance in "Frida" (2002).

    Wendi Winburn
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    The actress and print model bares bum and nice robo-hooters in scenes from "Amazons and Gladiators" (2001). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Oh, Henry! - A St. Petersburg, Florida, prostitute may have set a new record for cheap sex. Police say they've arrested the 23-year-old woman so many times over the past five years, they joke that they've seen her naked more often than they see their own wives. But the last bust surprised even them: she allegedly sold sex for $8 and a Baby Ruth bar.

  • That gave the cops some Snickers.
  • Show her a Baby Ruth, and she'll show you her Mounds.
  • When she has PMS, she'll do it for a Baby Ruth bar alone.
  • The cops' wives aren't laughing.

    Kissing Bandit - Sonya Chrucky of Milford, Connecticut, is suing ex-boyfriend Peter Carli over a bad kiss. She claims Carli bit her lip while they were smooching, and it was "willful, wanton and malicious" and caused her "pain and suffering, scars and losses." She also claims to have a written agreement for him to pay $3,000 to cover the costs of her kissing injury, but he never did.

  • He just kissed her off.
  • His response: "Bite me."
  • He just said to "put some ice on that."
  • Her "losses" were that $300 worth of collagen leaked out.

    Even Yanni?! - A study by Penn State University-Altoona found that music improves your mood, at least if you're a college student. Psychology and music students kept two-week diaries, recording their moods before and after listening to music. No matter what type of music they liked, hearing it made them feel more optimistic, joyful, friendly, relaxed and calm. Only one emotion was not improved: music did not make them feel less fearful.

  • But then, all they listen to is gangsta rap and Marilyn Manson.
  • They were still afraid, yet strangely calm and relaxed.
  • The guys did get really antsy listening to Clay Aiken.
  • Music plays everywhere we go! Why isn't EVERYBODY optimistic, joyful, friendly, relaxed and calm?!