section includes Scoop's site notes, images, vids, web finds,
La Pirate (1984)
Here are a few more down-and-dirty snaps from the last four
film clips created by ICMS.
Five Card Stud (2002)
This movie is one for you to skip. It's a trite no-budget romantic
comedy, and either the entire film is out of focus, or the DVD
producers really screwed up, so it's almost impossible to watch and
even harder to cap. Let's face it, I only watched it because it stars
Khrystyne Haje and the
DVD box says "Not rated. Nudity. Sexuality."
You don't know who
is? Sure you do. You just forgot her name. She is the incredibly
beautiful redhead from "Head of the Class," the TV show in which
Dr. Johnny Fever taught the gifted class. Man, I had a crush on
her. Anyway, her face still looks great, but the nudity ... well,
funny story about that. She did get involved in the sexuality. In
fact, she has sex more often than Colin Farrell with a free day
pass at the Mustang Ranch. Unfortunately, she has all that sex
fully dressed. As far as I could tell, she was not a devout Muslim
or Amish or anything like that, and the weather seemed to be the
usual Southern California Temperate, so she didn't have to bundle
up against the cold. I'm not really sure why she chose to engage
in fully-dressed sex. Maybe she just doesn't look that great
As promised by the DVD box, there was some brief
nudity in the film. Chantel Sausedo, the second female lead,
exposed her breasts in an aborted sex scene late in the film.
Since her breasts and face were never in frame together, and since
the captures were plagued with motion blur, poor focus, and poor
lighting, I just tossed the stills.
I did save one non-nude from the deleted scenes which, ironically
enough, were in focus! While you can't really see anything, it is at
least a mighty sexy pose from Ms. Haje.
The L Word Season 2 1-4 (2004)
The L Word Season 2 1-4 (2004) The second season of the estrogen-centric Canadian soap arrived today, and I managed to get through the first four episodes. Between Season 1 and 2, Marina was written out of the script, victim of a suicide attempt, and Kit has decided to buy The Planet. Tina is now very pregnant, and still keeping Bette away.
In episode 1, Kit sees Ivan (Kelly Lynch) topless, and Jenny and Tom split. Tina hires a prominent dyke lawyer. We see Tina at the doctors in a bra and panties, clearly several months pregnant.
Episode 2 has very little nudity -- just two strippers when everyone decides to get Tina a lap dance.
Episode 3 returns to main cast nudity, with Katherine Moennig showing breasts getting out of bed with Sarah Shahi, who also shows a nipple.
Episode 4 seriously increases the nudity, no doubt at viewer request. There is a gratuiious skinny dipping scene with breasts from Moenig and Leisha Hailey, and full frontal from Audra Rickets. There is also good topless exposure from an unidentified actress having sex with Bette.
Audra Rickets and Leisha Hailey
I will cover the rest of this season over the next few days.
First we've got the final four clips of Jane Birkin and Maruschka Detmers
in La Pirate (1,
4). The film is indeed available on DVD in Japan. You can also
find it at
www.cdjapan.co.jp but it ain't cheap at over $ 50 ! Furthermore
I would like to add that Jane Birkin didn't spawn one daughter only, but
two. With the director of this movie she crystallized their love in Lou
Doillon, who looks very much like her mother and doesn't shy away from
nudity either. Please refer to my February 13, 2002 column to see more of
Lou. Maybe I'll send in clips from her later on.
I'll conclude today's contribution with a little bonus. A nip slip by
Melanie Griffith in Tempo (2003). You have to watch very carefully but her
left nipple is very briefly visible. Don't blink or you'll miss it. Tempo
is a poorly executed film with stupid car chases that makes no sense at
all. Besides Melanie Griffith, it stars Rachel Leigh Cook, and Malcolm
McDowell has a couple of scenes as well.
Luxembourg-City has to serve as location to both Paris and Munich. Did no
one of the film makers find it odd that all cars in Munich had Luxembourg
license plates and that the signs in a non-existing Paris train station
were in German? I won't even mention the stupid ending which is only the lowpoint
of the lack of inspiration of the filmmakers.
America's second greatest philosopher, Yogi Berra, might have remarked, "It's
deja vu all over again." I have never seen Tempo, but ICMS's comments about
the Paris train station sounded so familiar ...
must ... find ... memory ...
Here are my comments about
a crappy 2000 film called "Falling Through"
" ... bargain basement international espionage
flick that takes place in "Paris" - where half of the signs are written
in German, and most of them have English translations! OK, maybe it's
really not Gay Paree. Maybe it's Straight Luxembourg."
Erica Durance in a bikini: Your Reason to Watch Smallville
The National Hurricane Center still has Hurricane WILMA pointed
directly at Naples, Florida, then crossing over the state to
West Palm Beach. (These are still highly speculative models.)
"Big Piece Of Poop" Withdraws From Mayoral Race because he's
already a Senator from Massachusetts. Oh ... wait ...
The Colbert Report on obesity
The Daily Show recaps the Harriet Miers nomination.
Conan explains how his show is expanding its demographic.
'North Country': Oscar no, pompous yes.
- I haven't seen the film. This is CNN's review, and they may or
may not be right about this particular film, but they have a good
point when they say: "Around this time of year -- like a visit
from the flu bug -- Hollywood is bitten by a severe case of B.O.B,
'Blatant Oscar Bid.'"
Another 'Little Rascal' Actor Dies. Gordon Lee played Porky.
A Decade Of Underrated Movies
- Worst list ever?
- There are some terrific films on the list, but they aren't
generally underrated at all. Any list of the "most underrated" has
to start with "just what is the current rating" and/or "underrated
- Since he did not establish any kind of baseline, he ends up
with some films on the list which are already rated high by
everyone. Office Space is just out of the Top 250 of all time with
a 7.7 at IMDb, and received 76% positive reviews. If it is
substantially underrated, then its correct rating is as the best
film ever made. My estimation is that it is rated just about where
it should be - as one of the highest rated comedies of all-time.
It's rated a half-point higher than There's Something About Mary,
and a half-point lower than Duck Soup. If anything, that might
make it a tad overrated!
- Dead Man is about the same by both measurements. So who is
underrating it? American Psycho is only a bit lower at 6.9 and
64%, and is highly respected by many analysts. Starship Troopers
is also strong at 6.7, 60%. Dark Blue is 6.6, The Underneath is
6.4, Mr. Jealousy 6.2. All seem to be in approximately the right
- I'm surprised he doesn't have Casablanca on the list.
- You may feel that the other three films on the list are
overrated if you believe they are good, because the general
consensus is that they are not very good. Undefeated is rated 5.6,
Josie and the Pussycats 5.3, The Brown Bunny 5.1. I'll let you
draw your own conclusions about whether those films are truly
good, and therefore overrated, or whether in some cases they may
even be poor films, and thus actually overrated by posterity's
assignment of mediocrity.
Premiere Magazine: The 25 Most Shocking Moments in Movie History
Here's a new clip from 'Aeon Flux'.
- I usually keep the editorializing to a minimum on these clips,
but if this is the best sample they could come up with, they are
in deep, deep shit.
Something Awful looks at the worst Halloween costumes money can buy
One more story on the controversial toy of the year:
Group Condemns Choking the Chicken
Car-washing cheerleaders may be violating a Las Vegas prostitution
ordinance. Hell, I was even surprised to find that prostitution
was illegal there.
No-budget Halloween Costume Ideas
A female flasher in the audience of the WWE
Whiff Fecal Deodorizer
"A 27-year-old man demanded extra prison time because he wanted to
honor his basketball hero, Larry Bird." He got 30 years, and he
asked for 33 to match Bird's uniform.
A Teen has been arrested in the slaying of Horowitz's wife
Rose McGowan was handcuffed and escorted out of a Hollywood party
An important message from NBC about the peacock.
Transcript Of President Bush's Mega-Consequential Lunchtime Photo Op
With The Irish Rock Music Player He Calls "Boner" (whitehouse.org)
A clip from Zathura
- "In Columbia Pictures heart-racing sci-fi adventure "Zathura,"
two squabbling brothers are propelled into deepest, darkest space
while playing a mysterious game they discovered in the basement of
their old house. On their fantastic journey they are joined by a
stranded astronaut and must survive meteor showers, hostile
lizard-like aliens, a rocket-propelled robot run amok and an
intergalactic spaceship battle. But their greatest peril lies
ahead. For unless they finish the game and reach the planet
Zathura, they are doomed to be trapped in outer space forever. "Zathura"
is based on the best-selling book by the acclaimed children's
writer Chris Van Allsburg ... "
- ... who has apparently seen The Last Starfighter several
The trailer for Slither
- The film revolves around an alien plague that infects a small
town, setting a local on a spree of murder and overacting. His
wife teams up with an old flame to combat the situation.
The trailer for Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion
- Tyler Perry (Diary of a Mad Black Woman) returns as Madea, the
gun-toting grandma, who tries to hold a family reunion, a funeral
for her sister, and a wedding for her granddaughter all at the
same time. Based on Perry's 2002 play.
FLYNT LAUNCHING HUSTLER RESTAURANT CHAIN
"I'll Have The Bearded...Er, Breaded Clams" - Porn mogul Larry Flynt is
planning to open a chain of restaurants called the Hustler Bar & Grille. A
spokesman said it will have a 100-item menu served by "Hustler Hunnies" in
tight T-shirts and short-shorts, and no nudity or entertainment, but it
will be an "homage to Hustler content." He said the Hunnies will bring
people in, but the food, cleanliness, service and Hustler memorabilia will
bring them back. Flynt himself said, "I expect it to be a class operation.
We're not going to be like McDonald's."
Although they will have an extensive kids' menu.
In fact, Ronald McDonald will be hanging out HERE.
Compared to Hustler, McDonald's is classier than Fred Astaire.
If the menu is an homage to Hustler's content, it must be quite a
The Hunnies are "eat-in" or "take-out."
MAN WANTS MORE JAIL TIME TO MATCH LARRY BIRD'S JERSEY
The Great White Dope - In Oklahoma County, Oklahoma, Eric James Torpy's
lawyers reached a plea deal for him to receive a 30-year jail sentence for
robbery and shooting with intent to kill. But Torpy is a fan of the great
Boston Celtics basketball star Larry Bird, and he told them if he was going
to go down, he wanted to go down in Larry Bird's jersey, #33. So they
honored his request and lengthened his sentence to 33 years. The judge
said Torpy was "just as happy as could be," and so was the prosecutor.
He was glad Torpy wasn't smart enough to like Wilt Chamberlain, who was #13.
The prosecutor was willing to offer a sentence equal to the highest
score the Celtics ever made.
Unlike Larry Bird, this guy shot and missed.
TINA FEY RETURNS TO "SNL" EARLY
Her Baby Has More Verbal Skills Than The Cast - After the first two weeks
of "Saturday Night Live" got terrible reviews, head writer Tina Fey
announced that she is returning early from maternity leave. She said NBC
has her under contract, but she and the baby only have a verbal agreement.
Wow, her baby's already talking?!
Her next baby will hire a good lawyer.
She needs to clean up after Horatio Sanz; he's leaving a bigger mess.
TRUMP BLAMES MARTHA FOR "APPRENTICE" SLIDE
Martha...You're Fired! - This season's edition of Donald Trump's
"Apprentice" is drawing about 10 million viewers, down from 16 million last
year. But Trump knows who to blame: his friend, Martha Stewart. He told
ABC News Radio that "mine continues to do well and, as you know, the other
one has struggled very severely. But I think it probably hurt mine." He
said he thinks viewers are confused about which "Apprentice" is on.
And when, so they can avoid watching either of them.
How can they be confused? One has a bunch of idiots being fired by a
rich, unlikable egomaniac, and the other one is the other one.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan or ICMS, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.