Saturday

In a Dark Place (200?)

As it turns out, I did have a copy of this screener sitting around, under the title "Dark Places," and all the images we saw yesterday were really from this movie. That means nothing special from Leelee - the stuff we saw yesterday plus some nice cleavage and open robe shots. (I love the one where she's lying down, falling out of her robe.)

There is some good news. Tara Fitzgerald did an absolutely kick-ass masturbation scene, and there was a brief and fully clothed lesbian scene between Tara and Leelee. Because we all know how much Henry James loved hot girl-on-girl action. (The movie is the umpteenth adaptation of Turn of the Screw. I'll write more tomorrow.)

Tara should get some consideration in the "nude scene of the year" balloting.

Here are the film clips. Collages follow.

  • All of Leelee Sobieski's nudity and near nudity. (I'm still presuming the butt to be a body double, but it's a nice butt.) (Zipped .wmv)
  • Tara Fitzgerald's completely gratuitous masturbation scene. (Zipped .wmv) No body double here, and Tara is a pretty damned good actress. I was convinced that she was really into it. If only real actresses would do porn movies. Damn, that would be hot. Imagine if Jenna Jameson could act like Meryl Streep - or even like Anne Heche, who's done some very convincing erotic scenes herself.
  • The completely gratuitous lesbian scene. (Zipped .wmv)

 

Leelee Sobieski
Tara Fitzgerald

 

 

Third party videos:

  • Meghan Callihan in The Janitor (2003)  (Zipped .avi)

 

OTHER CRAP:

 

Tremendous nostalgia site: OldCardboard.com - Vintage Baseball Cards

Dopey George Michael smokes a joint in a televised interview

The trailer for Premonition

  • A housewife (Sandra Bullock) finds out that her husband (Dr. Doom) was in a car crash, but when she sees him the next day, she realizes that she saw a premonition and will do anything she can to keep it from coming true.

Whatever happened to the TV theme song?

Madden for the Nintendo Wii - Gameplay footage. They have come up with some incredible innovations.

Tax fugitive Snipes filming in Namibia

"Fuck You Letterman" - A disgruntled employee tells off Letterman on his last day before vacation.

YouTube nukes 30,000 videos

The magic of cinema - what Frodo and Sam really saw, and how it looked on screen.

Zany Senior Prank Leaves Eight Dead, Dozens Wounded at California High School ... perpretrators receive weekend detention.

Paul McCartney Hit with New Abuse Charges from Heather Mills (Not a real story, although nearly indistinguishable from the actual charges)

  • "Ms. Mills also maintained in her new allegations that Mr.McCartney once hid Ms. Mills' prosthetic leg in the wood pile outside the guest house on their contry estate; and he insisted on using her handicapped parking sticker even when he was driving by himself."

GOP Blames Democrats for Foley’s Timely Outing; Gas Falls to 25 Cents

New Toilet for “Modern Americans” Holds Up to 2000 Pounds

South Park - Hot Teacher Has Sex With Student

Hilarious Museum Prank in a foreign version of "Punk'd"

Spanish king denies shooting drunk bear!

  • "He only had una cerveza. I swear it, Señor"

"Austrian Removes 'Sexist' Urinals" - thanks to complaints from women. Say, what were those women doing in the men's room, anyway?

Unlike certain American leaders we could mention, the Spanish king was sober when he went hunting. The bear, however, was drunk. (He seems to have shot a tame bear which was drunk on Vodka-soaked honey.)

"It's the world's most expensive cigar -- $440 each and it only comes in boxes of 40 -- but is it the best? Nobody knows because no one has smoked one."

  • I guess reporters don't have to take any math courses in journalism school! Not that it matters, but the actual cost of the stogies is $471.50 per cigar.

Why is it called ... Canada Dry?

A collection of photographic portraits of North American and European look-alikes. Each photo features two look-alikes, who are not related, side by side.

Real English Signs in Asia.

  • Lots of funny stuff I have never seen before. My favorite: no kicking of balls. I could have used that one in 7th grade.

The Top Ten Best GHOST PHOTOGRAPHS Ever Taken

Colbert profiles New York's Fightin' 19th, and the current challenger for its house seat, former rock star John Hall ... Part 2 - Colbert and Hall harmonize on Dance With Me!

Daily Show: Northern Explosure. A successful nuclear test means everyone in North Korea gets laid.

Jon Stewart's food review: Jimmy Dean's Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Sausage. (That's a real product.)

Jon Stewart talks to kooky Kirsten Dunst

  • She's cute, sweet, and charming - but not very interesting.
  • But you have to see part 2 of the interview, in which Jon despairs of getting anything very interesting from Kiki, so he goes on a hilarious comic riff about Jimmy Dean sausages.

The Daily Show celebrates the fact that there is finally a TV network run by Jewish people.

The Daily Show's This Week in God looks at "The Gospel According to a Baldwin Brother."

The Daily Show: Apparently North Korea and Iran are in on an election year conspiracy.

Democrats Offer to Let GOP Keep Some Seats

  • "Republicans have staggered in recent weeks under a barrage of painful publicity ranging from plunging fuel prices, to record stock market closes, to the Bush administration's failure to produce inflation despite growing employment, reduced tax rates and soaring tax revenues."

Song Parody: "DIRE STRAITS IN IRAQ: ‘LIVES FOR NOTHING’"

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Weekend Pass (1984)

Weekend Pass is an 80s sexploitation comedy about four sailors who have just completed basic training at San Diego, and are off to LA for a big weekend liberty before heading to their first duty stations. We have a black ex gang-banger who was given a choice by the court of boot camp or jail, a college graduate who thinks he is God's gift to the ladies, a wannabe comedian who is scheduled to debut at a comedy club on open mike night, and a nerd with a blind date waiting for him. There first stop is The G String for lunch and tits, including clothing removal experts Sara Costa and Ashley St. John.

The others decide to get the nerd laid, and call Chop Suzi outcall, whereupon he gets a nearly fatal massage from a topless Cheryl Song. The college man's big date with Hilary Shapiro, wherein she shows breasts and buns, is a complete bust. All four seaman apprentices end up with a decent date the last night of the liberty.

My biggest complaint was that they did not do their research on the Navy. If recruits marched the way this bunch did at graduation, they would be doing boot camp over again. The uniforms resembled what sailors who had sea time would look like, especially in the way the hats were bent, but not recruits. They didn't take off their hats indoors. After having just finished boot camp, they would not have made that mistake. They were called "seaman," even though their two stripes clearly shows them as seaman apprentices. In the Navy, recruits get one stripe. For a much better idea of sailors on the town, see Cinderella Liberty or The Last Detail

On the other hand, this is just a sexploitation film, and works as light entertainment. Their adventures are believable, and there are some amusing moments in the film. Granted, I have a weakness for this kind of material, but I don't think you'll find this one so bad at all.

C-. If you like this sort of movie, this one is good enough when you need a fix.

IMDb readers say 2.5, based on 101 votes. The actual mean is 4.3, which is closer to what the film deserves.

 

Hilary Shapiro
Cheryl Song
Sara Costa
Ashley St John
 

 

 

 

Today is another "Hankster Light" day. From "Battlequeen 2020" a trio of topless babes.

First up is Celia Hart.

Followed by Eva Dawn Nemeth.

Last but not least the "Queen of the Robo-Hooters" Julie Strain.

And a movie clip of Julie Strain. (Zipped .wmv)

 

 

Notes and collages

Blair Brown in Altered States

Though this film is a bit awkward in it's presentation of the novel it is based upon, I adore it nonetheless. (Is "nonetheless" a word?) This film is about a man looking to resolve his own personal demons and discovers "something else" along the way via his use of isolation tanks.  I recommend this film to anyone who ponders "who am I?"

Liza Minnelli in Cabaret

Liza (Judy Garland's daughter) does have a voice, and this is the film which caught the attention of the public so many years ago. Now she is in a strange divorce in which her husband is claiming that she beat him up in drunken rages. (no comment)

 

As for the film "Cabaret," despite its wandering into various subplots which I really don't care about, its depiction of the rise of the Nazi regime in pre-WW2 Germany is potent and deeply frightening on a social level. 

 

 

 

 

If you're into Emma Fielding's bum, this is your lucky day. It's a double dippa of dupa. The Discovery of Heaven ...

 ... and My Uncle Silas II

Brooke Shields shows some plumber's crack on an episode of nip/tuck