It is not unreasonable to argue that Dead
Babies is the worst movie in history. I would still have to argue for Glam,
but there were three graded reviews for Dead Babies online, and all three
gave the lowest possible score on their scale. Can't get much worse than
that. There was a fourth review without a grade, but that reviewer didn't
pull any punches either, and said "Dead babies is
remorselessly boring and stupid". Unfortunately, I couldn't really
write a funny review because the entire film was just incomprehensible
gibberish. The good news- it was demented, naked gibberish: topless Olivia
Williams, another topless woman, and another
woman (Hayley Carr) full-frontal
Olivia Williams. She has been in this, The Body, and The Postman.
What did she do to deserve this fate? By constantly starring in cheese
fests, she's becoming the female version of Christopher Lee. How long
before she plays Draculina?
With a friend like Harry ...
is a solid faux-Hitchcock from French director Dominik Moll. It is in
French, but there is an American-dubbing soundtrack, and it isn't too bad,
or sub-titles if you prefer.
in the following, Scoop's comments in
white, other people's words in yellow
Speaking of redundancy, here's a quote from my words
yesterday. I didn't see the redundancy until I re-read the page this morning:
"To make it worse, the overuse of
"gate" is exacerbated by ...."
Of course, I don't need both "exacerbated" and
"make it worse". What was I thinking of? I mean , "Of what was
I thinking"? Another rule! Churchill's famous answer to a pedant who
disallowed sentences ending in a preposition: "That is a rule up with
which I will not put."
Can you imagine people
criticizing Churchill for his use of the language? His speeches in particular
must be the most eloquent in the language outside of Shakespeare's Henry V,
and are more poetic than most 20th century poetry. I remember reading once
that if you look at the number of unique words in the total body of a man's
work, that The Complete Churchill includes more different words than The
Complete Anybody Else. (Could that be right? Could he trump Isaac Asimov? That
would be impressive, because Asimov wrote about a trillion books, and was a
Anyway, the point Churchill was really making, I
think, is that grammar pedants don't even understand the true nature of syntax.
the sentence "Put that on the table", "on" is a
preposition, "table" is the object of a preposition,
"that" is the direct object.
In the sentence, "I
won't put up with that", there is no preposition. "To put up
with" is the verb, and "that" is the direct object.
verb "to put" and the verb "to put up with" are completely
different verbs. In English we spell the verb "put up with", with
spaces, instead of "putupwith", but it is precisely the same
verb as "to tolerate", and can be substituted by "to
tolerate" in any sentence. Therefore, in the sentence, "I won't
tolerate that", it is obvious that "that" is the direct object,
and the deep structure must stay the same when you substitute the identical
"put up with". Linguistics professors understand that completely,
but many grammarians do not. Churchill understood the structure of the
language, and how to make it communicate his meaning and feelings, but he
didn't really give many figs about the pedantry.
Well, maybe one
or even two.
Someday, I have to look up "to give a fig", and
try to determine its relationship with "to give a fuck".
very long introduction led me to another American regionalism, mentioned in
several letters, which results in
a sentence adrift in a prepositional ending.
In most parts of the United States, we say, "are you
coming with us?"
In the upper Midwest, and maybe elsewhere, it is common
(but not universal) to say "are you coming with?"
I guess it makes sense. The word "us" is irrelevant
in that it communicates no additional information, so it seems like a logical
idiom, even though it sounds weird to us outsiders.
Personally, I suggest "are you coming?". The rest is
Okay, it's my turn to weigh in in this
ongoing "word trivia" saga.
One of my pet peeves is the following usage: "Where's so-and-so
What is the at doing there?
Talk about redundancy! What's wrong with simply (and grammatically)
saying, "Where's so-and-so?" That expresses the question,
and allows the answer to supply the location: "At the store."
"In bed," etc. I realize that this is very commonly (if not
practically universally) used -- all across America, at least. I don't
remember ever hearing it from any Britons. I may be a voice crying alone
in the wilderness on this -- this battle may be lost already. But that
doesn't mean I have to like it!
Oh -- and please wear your title of "the William Safire of porn"
with pride. I have enjoyed your site for many years, for the pictures (heh,
heh!) of course, but also for the engaging commentary and, most
recently, for the entertaining and informative movie reviews. This
"word trivia" is an interesting but in-character addition to or
facet of what could be considered a true multi-purpose site -- and a good
example of what has always made the Funhouse more than just another
"porn" site. Anybody can put the pictures up -- the pictures
are everywhere. But you've done it with your own particular
character and style. Please keep it going for a long time!
Yeah, there's the irony. While we drop the redundant
"us", from "are you coming with us", we are simultaneously
adding a redundant "at" to "where's the party". To
paraphrase Doonesbury - like the North Vietnamese, we are a particularly
I agree it's a diversion from the main task - but it's more fun than baseball. And what a research finding for someone, that celeb nudity lovers are also linguistic scholars or even pedants! A few contributions:
Redundancies - The hoi polloi
Infiltration of unwanted syllables - Preventative
Americanisms (I'm British and ironic so I enjoy these) - Prollum (as in Nadda prollum); Nahzhee-ading
Actually, that last one came from a 1940s film (sorry, movie) I remember seeing, which makes me think why not combine the two things that fascinate us, and collect malapropisms from movies, preferable nude scenes? My favourite of this genre is from Kelly Lynch's wonderful performance in Warm Summer Rain. Seeing her lover get out of bed after their first night together wearing not his but her nether garment (the one that encases two of the three Bs), she exclaims 'Those are my unnerwear!' Presumably the subconscious confusion here is with 'pannies' (plural) whereas 'unnerwear', whilst not exactly singular, is generic (in UK English it includes bra, suspender belt, etc). I imagine pannies became politically incorrect at some point in the 70s or 80s, but the brain takes a while to adapt to change. Was it Kelly's brain or the scriptwriter's? We'll prolly never
In fact, many Americans pronounce "nauseous" almost exactly as
Churchill pronounced "Nazis". Now that I think about it, there is
some linguistic justice there. The Nah-zee^az were nah-zee-ay-ting.
As I mentioned yesterday, we Yanks don't like the hard
"t" sound. Many of us pronounce "latter" and
"ladder" identically. "Nada" is probably the most common
pronunciation of "not a". Many of us save a special level of
contempt for T or D after N, as in "innaresting", "pannies",
The British joke about our saying "prolly" and
"prollum", but these are rarely heard in reality. This is one of
those humorous stereotype things, like when Americans make fun of Brits by
picturing the following:
Every gentleman is named Nigel or Alistair, and begins
every sentence with "I say ..."
Every secretary in London pronounces "no" as a
very long two-syllable word, and knows only one adjective:
Like "prolly", those things exist, but Kenneth, what
is the frequency?
It is common, however, to pronounce the word
"probably" with two syllables and a very nasal "aah",
"praah-blee". It is difficult to pronounce two b's juxtaposed, but
"no prollem" to pronounce one. I'm not denying that "prolly"
exists. It does, but it surely is something less than pandemic.
Of course, "the hoi polloi" and "the status
quo" are with us to stay, as idiomatic expressions, despite the
ostensibly redundant article. Have you ever heard of anyone "hobnobbing
with hoi polloi" or "preserving status quo". I can't remember
any instances of either. It's always "hobnobbing with the hoi
polloi" and "preserving the status quo", even though hoi
polloi means "the (common) people" and status quo means "the
existing state of affairs".
The 1940's films don't represent how Americans really talked
in the 1940's. They tend to be filled with uniquely New York slang, and they
are really amusing for us to watch. First of all, very few of us ever talked
like the Bowery Boys (Robert Blake excepted). Second, we rarely pronounce the
expression "yer onna" when referring to a judge. Third, we don't
really call each other "ya mug", "ya big lug", and
"ya big galoot". Fourth, we did begin some sentences with "why,
I oughta ...." and "say, ....", but not EVERY sentence.
Judge: "Say, ya mug, did ya pick
up that sawbuck?"
Criminal (after we have seen him
commit the crime): "Why, yer onna, I'm as honest as da day is
Judge: "Why, I oughta ......
Americans use both "film" and
"movie". The denotation is the same, but sometimes there are subtle
shadings in connotation. "Film" sounds more refined to us. I tend to
associate the film words in a "heirarchy of classiness".
If I hear "let's go to the
cinema", I'm thinking of Orson Welles and "Grand
Illusion", and I better see if my tux is clean.
If I hear "let's see a
film", I'm thinking of Audrey Hepburn and "American
Beauty". Long pants, no tennis shoes.
If I hear "let's go to a
movie", I'm thinking Bruce Willis and "Beastmaster".
T-shirt, shorts, and basketball shoes.
If the words are "let's catch a
flick", I'm thinking Richard Grieco and "Ramrodders".
Raincoat de rigueur. I'll be sitting next to Pee-Wee Herman, and during
the sex scenes he'll be doing what I like to call "the big shoe dance
Things change over time. In his day,
Cary Grant made movies, but they have definitely been promoted to films now, maybe
even cinema ("North by Northwest", e.g.). The Marx Brothers made
mere "movies" that are now "cinema classics".
See ya. I have some serious hobnobbing to do.
First things first. Since we've migrated from words mispronounced to phrases misused, allow me to nominate two words butchered so often I've given up caring. Those words are less and fewer. How many times you boys hear someone... usually a sportscaster... say there are less games, less
people, less fans. Well, les' get something straight. If you can count them, the word is FEWER. Not less, fewer. So you got less weight but fewer pounds, less time but fewer minutes, less beer but fewer ounces. And when you got to the grocery store to buy that beer and get into the fifteen items or LESS line, scratch out the less and write in FEWER. Make a stand, get up and be counted, the line must be drawn here!
Okay, so now for the babes...
First up are the fashion models.
Alison Renner is a doll, wearing a pristine shirt, through which is a delightful pair of pokies.
Anouk Lepere in a triplet of pics, one with barely concealed hooties and two others showing a pair of killer legs.
Bekah Jenkins in the only honest-to-goodness nekkidness, but you gotta see through some funky yellow coloration to get to it.
Yamila Diaz... topless... but tummy down in the sand. So close, so far away.
Zora Juranova in a sorta, kinda see-through.
Domestic babes, movie star variety:
Marilyn Chambers, famous pornstar and sometime B movie bim. I've seen lots of graphic pics of Marilyn but those make her look rather unattractive. This pic, on the other hand, shows her real beauty.
Kristy Swanson, original Buffy, terrific looking woman. Scans from Later magazine, including a cleaned-up cover.
International babe is former Miss Italy Denny Mendez. Geez, guys, but if there are more like here back home what you say we all move to Rome?
Page 3 babes include the rather obscure and pale blonde Cathie Warren
2) on the one hand and the deliciously brown famous pornstar, Charmaine Sinclair.
And then there were vidcaps; the hard work was done by others, the easy stuff by me.
Kim Evenson, former bunnymagmate, in Umpire's caps of Kidnapped. Gawd awful movie, terrific looking babe.
Kei Mizutani in Undressed for Success. Kei has a no better than average face but a body second only to Josie Maran's.
Patricia Gelen, looking kinda scary in Montenegro.
Sylvie Legault in Rispondetime.
Monique Gabrielle, my favorite Penthouse Pet, in a movie worth watching at least twice a year: Amazon Women on the Moon.
Monique Van De Ven with bare boobs and bush in Turkish Delight. Hey, and speaking of Turkish, allow me to put in a plug for the movie, Snatch. Imagine a flic as imaginative as Memento but with a much higher density of laughs. Try it, you'll like it.
Nastassja Kinski in the best of the nekkid babes in school films, appropriately named Boarding School.
Pat Barrington in a mixture of films, Mantis and Lila.
Patricia Pearcy, type-cast as a scrawny nekkid redhead in Cockfighter.
And the last of the batch, Shannon Christie in Big Bad Mama, the original. Always figured Angie Dickinson shoulda won an Oscar for acting as though he was interested enough in Capt. Kirk to strip down to her birthday suit.
Isabel Glasser dark, but very nice breast exposure in scenes from "Death Ring".
Tammy Stones also topless in "Death Ring". This time the breasts are bigger and the lighting is better.
Gillian Jones topless, bare bum, and some really unusual exotic dancing in scenes from "Heatwave".
Debra Sandlund once again, nice toplessness. From the movie "Tough Guys Don't Dance" (1987).
Arna-Maria Winchester topless scenes and full frontal nudity in "The Chain Reaction".
Cynda Williams going topless in "Caught Up".
||Full dorsal nudity, and far off side breast exposure from the French movie, "Scout toujours" (1985).
||Topless in "China Moon" (1991).
||Emmanuelle Seigner's younger sister showing her breasts in scenes from "Belle maman" (1999).
|Breast exposure from "Malèna" (2000).
||Topless in "En plein coeur" (1998).