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"Cannibal Holocaust"

Cannibal Holocaust (1979) is an out of print DVD that is often available on eBay. The copy I got seems to be German/English, and Region 2 PAL. It is so extreme that it was band nearly everywhere, including its native Italy. The gore involving people is very realistic, and the mutilation of animals, including a muskrat, a large turtle and a snake is absolutely real. What makes it even more chilling is that it is shot like a documentary. Four young film makers, three men and a woman (Francesca Ciardi), travel to the Amazon to make a documentary about the last few cannibal tribes, and don't return. An anthropology professor is sent on a rescue mission, discovers their remains, and manages to retrieve the footage they shot.

We then see the footage, which basically shows that the film makers were far more savage than the cannibals, and probably got what they deserved. Included with the cannibal footage are three scenes with Ciardi naked. IN the first, she walks in after a shower, showing full frontal. The other two are sex scenes, which the cameraman films. The native footage includes a ritual rape and execution of an adulteress by her husband, the rape of a native girl by the film crew, and countless shots of naked natives.

IMDB readers score this 5.9 of 10, and the reviews, all by sites devoted to the genre, declare it a cult favorite. The format reminded me of Blair Witch Project, and the supposed documentary footage was poor quality. This is a must for genre addicts, but the rest of you will probably want to avoid it, as some of the scenes are positively sickening. C.

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  • Francesca Ciardi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Natives (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    "Body Double"

    Body Double (1984) is a thriller by Brian De Palma, and, in my opinion is a very good one. IMDB readers don't seem to agree, and have it at 6.5 of 10. Jake (Craig Wesson) is a B movie actor, and has a bout of claustrophobia filming a vampire film, and is fired. He comes home to find his wife, Barbara Crampton, in bed with another man. Then he attends his acting workshop, and is berated by his coach. Things look up when a classmate asks him to house sit in what turns out to be a great home with a special bonus. His neighbor does a strip/masturbation show every evening. The second night, he notices that he is not the only one watching the show. He sees an Indian working on a satellite who is also watching. He becomes obsessed, and wants to save her. Then, he witnesses her murder, and becomes the prime suspect.

    In case there is someone who hasn't seen this film, I will stop and avoid writing a spoiler, but, at this point in the film, you have enough information to figure the ending out, but I don't know anyone who has. That is part of the strength of the film. Jake's character is fully fleshed out -- another plus, and the film is loaded with nudity. Crampton shows breasts and bush partially obscured by her arm in the beginning, Melanie Griffith showing breasts and buns in several scenes, in a performance that earned her a Golden Globe nomination, and Ty Randolph shows breasts as a body double at the end of the film. From my viewpoint, this is an excellent thriller, and I can't account for the low score at IMDB. Rotten Tomatoes has three actual reviews, 2 positive and one negative. The negative says, "Ultimately, Body Double feels like a film that seems more interested in pleasing itself than pleasing the audience." Maybe I am just dense, but that reads like nonsense to me. This is at least a strong C+, and maybe better.

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  • Barbara Crampton
  • Melanie Griffith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Ty Randolph (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Action Jackson is a grade-b actioner that was supposed to make Carl Weathers the black Clint Eastwood. Instead, it made him the black Dolph Lundgren. Some of the images of Sharon Stone were in very difficult light, but the images of Vanity were lovely.

    • Vanity (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Sharon Stone (1, 2, 3)


    Other crap:

    • Hey, Chucky baby, drinks on me. Interview with The Unknown Comic, in which he discussed my own personal idol, Gene, Gene, the Dancing Machine.
    • Cristina wasn't kidding about her newfound love of sleaze
    • Whoopie Goldberg says we should all learn to discuss farts as a preliminary step to world peace. Columnist Mark Morford (S.F Gate)  observed the scene, "Imagine how great the world would be if we communicated these things," Goldberg said, which was apparently some sort of punchline, as everyone in the room just sort of sat there, in that awkward silence, as someone in the back of the room coughed, and everyone wondered why this woman is famous, as she appears to be one of those celebs you never ever find the slightest bit funny but who keeps getting all this press saying oh my God she's so hilarious, so you think maybe something's wrong with you, and then you give in and go hear her standup routine again, or speaking extemporaneously about gas or menstruation or whatever, and you realize you were right all along, and you just wasted like, 25 bucks, though she was pretty sharp in "Ghost," you are forced to admit, because you want to be nice.
    • Interesting article about many big-budget films which are sitting on the shelf unable to obtain a release because they are so bad or unmarketable, despite major names in the cast. The article also touches on films which are unreleaseable or in release hiatus because of the post-911 political climate.
    •'s summary of the sex and nudity in Abandon . (None, really. No more Katie Holmes goodies.)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    Two classic nude scenes today from Graphic Repsonse...
    • Adrienne Corri, topless and full frontal nudity in the Kubrick classic, "A Clockwork Orange".

    • Camille Keaton, all three B's in the 1978 b-movie/horror classic "I Spit on Your Grave".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    A couple of new DVD releases:

    "Starfire Mutiny" (2002) is the latest direct-to-video Czechploitation by Scoopy favorite, Lloyd Simandl. A director so tough he defected back to Eastern Europe. Stars Nikita-lookalike Elise Muller and Maureen LaVette plus Hefmag Czechmates Eva Aichmajerova and Petra Martincova. This movie was made in Praque in 1999 but held under wraps until now. It is not even listed in the Internet Movie Database.

    Rated PG-13 for "violence and some nudity" the nudity is still gratuitous enough to warrant an R-rating, although the obligatory lesbian scene (a Simandl trademark) between Elise Muller and Maureen LaVette seems to be missing. Eva Aichmajerova who showed full nudity in previous Simandl films only flashed her boobs a couple of times. A lesbian scene with Eva and Petra could have also added some spice to this stinker.

    • Elise Muller: topless getting dressed after doing the nasty with Maureen LaVette (the actual lesbian scene was not shown)
    • Maureen LaVette: no nudity but all tied up after getting seduced by Elise.
    • Eva Aichmajerova and Petra Martincova: breast exposure asleep in cyrogenetics chamber getting felt up by perv, more breast exposure later in catfight. Eva is the brunette and Petra the blonde.
    • Unknowns: nude models in computer database.

    "Guaranteed On Delivery" (2000) (aka "Guaranteed Overnight Delivery" aka G.O.D. on the indie circuit) is an action-crime-thriller starring Olivier Gruner, Jalal Merhi and Kung Fu's David Carradine.

    • Justine Priestley (902310 Jason Priestley's sister): butt in dental-floss thong doing her Marilyn Monroe impression.

    Bridget Fonda
    (1, 2)

    Toplessness, rear nudity and a possible brief bit of pubes in scenes from "Aria" (1987).

    Elizabeth Hurley Excellent toplessness, rear nudity and 'caps of the shagadelic Liz with her old nose as she lip syncs her way through scenes from "Aria".

    Valérie Allain Breasts, bum and bush in more scenes from "Aria".

    Cameron Diaz
    (1, 2)

    Lots of leg in #1, very brief nipple sighting in #2. Great collages of 'caps from "Vanilla Sky".

    Penélope Cruz
    (1, 2)

    The Spanish beauty shows some cleavage in #1 and is topless in a love scene in #2. Also from the Cameron Crowe movie "Vanilla Sky".

    Dominique Swain
    (1, 2)

    The young actress topless in scenes from "New Best Friend".

    Meg Ryan
    (1, 2)

    Breif breast exposure plus Meg in a red bra from "Flesh and Bone".

    Gwyneth Paltrow Paltrow topless in more scenes from "Flesh and Bone".

    Talisa Soto The sexy brunette in her undies in scenes from "Piñero".

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we take a look at Boti Bliss in "Ted Bundy". Now I guess everyone knows who Ted Bundy is and cute Boti played his girl friend who had no idea what a monster he was. In this scene Boti and Ted make love and Ted starts to get a little rough. A very dark scene, but we do get to see some breasts. Next time we will show a scene where he talks her into letting him tie her up while they make love.

    Cordella Bugeja
    Linda Rybova
    Topless 'caps in great collage by Dann from the Euro-slasher flick, "The Pool".

    Famke Janssen The "X-Men" co-star shows off a great bum in s skin tight dress while walking down the red carpet. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Linda Fiorentino
    (1, 2)

    The husky-voiced brunette goes topless in scenes from "The Last Seduction", by nmd.

    Victoria Silvstedt
    (1, 2, 3)

    Rear nudity and topless paparazzi pics of the tall, blonde über-babe.

    Victoria Silvstedt
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Another batch of images with the Swedish model showing some skin. This time we see some cleavage, breasts and rear views from the Zanotti calendar.