Wicked Lake


Maybe you've heard this one. Four smart-ass city kids wander into the backwoods where they encounter inbred rednecks who rape and torture the living crap out of them. There fate is foreshadowed by an encounter with half-witted masturbating locals at a gas station.

Yeah, I know it's the same plot as about a zillion other films, but this one does manage to come up with a twist. The four city-slickers are lesbian cannibal witches. That means they get some supernatural powers at midnight, which is when they pay back better than they got.

Unbelievably, this film managed to get reviewed by three major New York newspapers, which is astounding for a film of this caliber. For one reason or another, it was screened at one theater in New York in late June, 2008. I suppose the filmmakers might have thought at the time that a theatrical trial, however small, had to be a good thing which might lead to a wider release or major cult status. To the contrary. If a film like this goes straight to DVD, it only gets reviewed by genre site specialists who expect this kind of content, and the reviews are only read by people who are receptive to this sort of material. The theatrical release only meant that three legitimate critics were enraged by having to sit through ninety minutes of sheer garbage, and their resulting anger exposed the film's faults to a wide audience.

As the New York reviewers duly noted, this film is just atrocious if the filmmakers were taking it seriously. Any torture porn, even when it is crafted well like Eli Roth's films, is difficult enough for average people to watch because it's custom made for a unique target audience, so there's probably no movie-going experience more unpleasant than 90 minutes of grade-Z cheapjack torture porn. To make matters worse, the film's revenge theme fails because the women are as unpleasant as the rednecks, so there is no sense of audience empathy for them when they are in danger, and no catharsis when they rise up and give the hicks their comeuppance. "Bad guy against bad guy" is just not an involving story line, which is why you seldom see it used in wrestling, for example.

I couldn't figure out whether the scribes were right in saying that this movie is the worst redneck torture porn movie of all time, or whether the film appears lame because it was parodying lame movies. I think it must have been the latter, because the characters are too exaggerated, the dialogue too absurd, the violence too comically Tromaesque, and the acting too weak and wooden for it to have been anything but intentional. You can forgive the New York critics for missing that fact because many other films in this genre, like House of 1000 Corpses, already have their feet well inside the parody door, but never actually cross the threshold.

If you take it as a joke, Wicked Lake might even give you a few unpleasant laughs. In addition, the film is filled with enough extreme exploitation content for genre fans, including plenty of dirty talk, extreme levels of violence, and extensive female nudity from attractive women. Oh, I'm not recommending the film. Far from it. I'm just saying that it's not actually an utterly incompetent horror drama, but rather an extended joke that just didn't work.

Although that's not much better, is it?

Eve Mauro

Robin Sydney

All four witches: Carlee Barker, Eryn Joslyn, Mauro and Sydney


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Beach Girls


This is a cult favorite because of its liberal toplessness by an ostentation of beautiful women, as represented by these film clips. Lead actresses include former Hefmate Jeana Tomasina as Ducky and Val Kline as Ginger. Also Debra Blee as Sarah. Jeanette Linne also spent some considerable time without her top. And then there are the unknowns who had their tops stolen by a well-trained dog or went skinny dipping in an outdoor pool. This was Val Kline's only movie despite her great looks and better-than-god-awful acting style.

One thing to note about Beach Girls - it was written by Golden Globe winner Patrick Sheane Duncan (Mr. Holland's Opus)

Bonus: Corinne Bohrer - delightful, but not nekkid.

Scoop's note: Speaking of Corinne, when the hell are they going to get Dead Solid Perfect on a DVD?







A double feature today.

Maximum Risk


First up Natasha Henstridge with some brief boob exposure in "Maximum Risk". Caps and a clip.




Jackson County Jail


Then it's back to the seventies for a rape scene. Yvette Mimieux is the victim in her jail cell as she is assaulted by the deputy. Again brief tit exposure. Caps and a clip.








Color of Night


Yet another post- Body Heat erotic thriller with a big star, specifically Bruce Willis.

Jane March film clips. Collages below.







This section will present Defoe's film clips to accompany Charlie's collages, which are found on his own site.

Today's features: Salomes and Stephanies

Salome Stevenin (and Sophie Cattani) in Tel Pere Telle Fille

Stephanie Sokolinski in Ma Place au Soleil

Stephanie Daub-Laurent in Primrose Hill

Stephanie Pasterkamp in Le Grand Appartement.

Salome Richard in One






Notes and collages



Part 3 of 3

Amanda Donohoe






Film Clips

Charlize Theron in Monster, in high def (720p)

Jung Suh in Geomi Sup. I know that looks like gibberish, but I'm pretty sure those are real words and a real name.

The women of Trapped Ashes:

Carice van Houten in A Thousand Kisses (captures right)

Halina Reijn in the same film (captures right)