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"Sumo Vixens" (2001?)

IMDB has not heard of this masterpiece. If you can't turn this film and a six-pack into a party, you have had your sense of fun surgically removed. Right off the bat here, we are dealing with topless female Sumo wrestlers. I would like to think heaven was a little like this. Add a plot, overacting, and make the star Kei Mizutani (Weather Woman), and you have the masterpiece of Topless female Sumo Wrestler films.

The daughter of a famous historical female Sumo Wrestler wants to revive a female Sumo school to save her mother's property from Yokuza loan sharks. She enlists the aid of a former Sumo/Jailbird/Yokuza to help her gather and train a team. The Yokuza brings in some ringers, and the bout is for ownership of the dojo.

At least 10 women show breasts and buns nearly in every scene. I have labled some images with Kei, especially since she was easy to isolate. If anyone would like to tackle ID of the other women, I would be happy to make the 200 + raw frames and credits available to you. I have to award C+, my highest soft-core score. Lots of breasts, unique concept, and a ton of bad movie gestalt.

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  • Kei Mizutani (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Group pics (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Today's feature: Beastmaster. You all know what it is. Everyone in the universe has seen it.


    Jennifer Gareis and Heather Graham at the "From Hell" premiere. No nudity, but babelicious. Marilyn Manson came with Dita von Teese. Now there's a couple.



    Encyclopedia update:

    • there is now a new page for Virginie Ledoyen. Link there through the main members' links (Encyclopedia of Naked Celebrities, L section). Many new pictures that never appeared in the Fun House.



    in the following, Scoop's comments in white, other people's words in yellow

    How did I become the porno version of William Safire all of a sudden? I never realized so many people love this word trivia. 

    Here are two mispronunciations that drive me nuts, "Melk" for "milk, and "root beer" pronounced "rut" beer. 

    These are sort of interesting. I don't recall hearing "melk", and there are no alternative pronunciations for this word listed in any dictionary that I could put my hands on, but it sure seems logical that melk would be the dominant pronunciation in places like Minneapolis (heavily settled by Norwegians), or Milwaukee (heavily settled by Dutch). Melk is both the Norwegian and the Dutch word for milk. 

    "Root" is one of those words like "creek" and "roofs" with no consistent national American pronunciation. These words are pronounced according to regional traditions, sometimes varying from town to town.

    I think the most common pronunciation for root is the long oo sound, which makes makes root rhyme with boot. The second most common is the short oo sound, and this makes root rhyme with foot instead of boot. But I've heard "root beer" pronounced any way you can imagine it.


    Living in Michigan (home of the nasal speech and flat As) I've come across several mispronunciations.  I don't know how this evolved or where it comes from but these words bother the hell out of me:


    1. Milk (In Michigan, we like to pronounce it Melk).
    2. Pillow (An aversion to "i"s makes us say Pelloh).
    3. Roof (Oh my god...If I hear Ruff or Rough again...)
    And the most annoying:
    4. Egg (Somehow an "Ay", like day, got in there as in "Aygg".  The same applies to Leg/Laygg).
    Also, could we please, as a country, come together and stop saying "One full swoop" or "One foul swoop" instead of "One FELL swoop?"  That would be nice.
    • What are the chances of that? Two "melk" letters in one day! I had just written the response above when this one came in. As always, I have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about, but I'll stand on my guess with the Dutch-Norwegian influence, at least until somebody comes up with a better one.

    • I'm glad he mentioned "roof". How many ways are there to pronounce "roofs"? I'm going to do this before I look it up. At least 5 that I can think of.

      • It can rhyme with "goofs"

      • It can rhyme with "woofs" (same oo sound as wood)

      • It can rhyme with "grooves"

      • It can rhyme with "hooves" (other pronunciation that doesn't rhyme with grooves)

      • It can rhyme with "toughs", based on the letter above

    The WCD says the #1 answer rhymes with "goofs", but three others are listed as well.

    • For no special reason, this reminds me that Americans seem to be about evenly divided in the pronunciation of "garage" - either "garazh" (same final sound as "triage", or the first sound in "Zhivago"),  or "garodge" (to rhyme with "dodge")

    • I confess to pronouncing "egg" with a strong regionalism. I come originally from upstate NY, where we also have flat nasal vowels like Minneapolis or Michigan, and I say "ayg", much to my embarrassment.. (WCD lists that as the #2 answer)

    • The "pellow" thing is new to me.

    I agree with Tuna about the (redundant use of ) acronyms. How about the "HIV Virus"? 

    Another "superfluous redundancy": knots per hour.  The term knot originally meant just that, a knot tied in a piece of line.  In earlier times, in order to measure the speed of a ship, this line was attached to a drag and paid out over the stern.  The number of knots that paid out during a given period of time was counted, and this number was used to estimate speed over the ground.  For convenience, the spacing of the knots was such that the number of knots represented the number of nautical miles per hour.  So, 1 knot = 1 nautical mile per hour.  Thus, the phrase knots per hour properly means nautical miles per hour, per hour.  Of course, for you physicists, that would be a measure not of speed, but of acceleration, as in 32 feet per second, per second.  


    Scoop - I can't really bear to participate in the cataloguing of common mispronunciations, since they are almost all excruciatingly painful to read about -  especially the ones I use myself.  But I thought I  would share this interesting quirk of English

    A defensive position or facility is described as impregnable, meaning that it cannot be entered or taken by force. 

     Meanwhile, to impregnate means to fill or even to inseminate, which would lead you to believe that all those impregnable Taliban strongholds are ready for a good fucking.

    When I looked it up on (sorry, no OED or Webster's handy) the root of impregnate is described as Late Latin, albeit hypothetically, while impregnable is traced back to French, which, as we know, is a Romance language.

    Really good example that I have never thought of, and a really cool story behind it, demonstrating why the OED is such a cool dictionary even though it sucks in some ways.

    The OED says that the spelling and subsequent pronunciation of impregnable is a corruption. The original English word was imprenable, which was swiped directly from 15th century French, and is still a perfectly good French word. Somewhere along the line, somebody apparently thought it would be cool to add a fashionable silent g as in "reign" and "deign". Unfortunately, the silent g didn't want to stay silent, and snuck its way into the pronunciation.

    In other words, impregnable is supposed to be imprenable, and that g just plain doesn't belong there! It has nothing to do with "pregnant". 

    Pregnant first appeared in written English in Chaucer, ca 1374, but did not mean "heavy with child" or "infused with ..." It meant cogent or compelling or heavy with meaning, as in a legal argument. Linguists cannot explain why the millennium-old Latin word pręgnare appeared in English with a figurative meaning before it was ever used in the literal sense. There seems to be a gap in our knowledge on this one. It my have to do with the migration of the word into English through French, but it seems to me that there are plenty of theories to choose from and no clear-cut answer. 

    When you first started this one came to mind quickly but I kept it to myself, but since it's been going on for a few days, my personal pet peeve is when people drop the "h" off of words like huge and pronounce it as yuge or ooge.  Distracts me every time.

    I would love to hear an academic professional in this subject explain that one. It that a French drop-the-h thing from the old Louisiana Territory? I have no clue. If I remember right, Jimmy Buffett asks for a "yooge hunk of meat" in Cheeseburger in Paradise. I've never heard of "ooge". By the way, the WCD lists "yooge" as the second most common pronunciation in the USA. That surprised me. I didn't realize this variant was common enough to make the dictionary

    Hey Mr. Scoop,  I absolutely love your page, and I have been a fan since I was this high. I have only written you once--for a password foul-up. This time I am writing you because your current topic--malaproprisms (itself an interesting word)--  really interests me. One contribution: how about that weird word invented by the advertising  industry (I think), "crispy?" What's the difference between that and "crisp" anyway?

    Beats the fuck out of me, but I know that you can't make a crispy salute, or enjoy a crispy fall day, or run a crispy, efficient operation.

    Actually, to be serious for a sec, crispy is a word with a surprisingly impressive pedigree in the English language. 

    • In its earliest use, around 1400, it meant curly or ruffled - as in "my mom has crispie hair". No kidding. This sense is lost, in America at least.

    • Around 1600 it came to be used in today's sense, meaning brittle. 

    • Contrary to what I said earlier, around 1850 it started to be used interchangeably with "crisp" to refer to Autumn days, but this sense doesn't linger, so far as I know, in American speech

    I like crisp better because it is a richer word. A salute may be crisp. An office may operate with crisp efficiency. An Autumn wind may be crisp. You can eat a crisp in England. Plus crisp can do anything crispy can do.

    Crispy is a much more limited word, basically relegated to non-soggy breakfast duty in today's usage.


    Well, I wasn't going to mention this.  But since the Word Play continues unabated, here's a quote from last Sunday's Fun House: "Gretchen Mol in 'Forever Mine'. Quite possibly the most perfect breasts ever filmed." 

    Perfection is an absolute.   There's no such thing as "more perfect" or "most perfect."  Breasts are either perfect, or they're not. That said, there are times when grammatical correctness must throw up its hands and surrender to a greater truth.  Looking at these pictures, I have to say: Damned if they aren't the most perfect breasts ever filmed.

    Yes, your point is both accurate and eloquent, but I think some of those comparative absolutes communicate very effectively as figures of speech. The "most perfect", I guess, is a figure of speech which means "the closest to the ideal of perfection", and we all understand what it means. "Very pregnant" is also a comparative absolute. Let's face it, you're either pregnant or not, but we all seem to understand that eight months is "very pregnant", while three months is not.

    And I also have to agree on Mol. That woman is one hot potato.


    Maybe I've missed it, but in the last few years I seem to have heard the word "oriented" somehow become bastardized into "orien-tated".  Maybe I'm watching a lower quality of television news or something, but it's one of those words that jumps out at me whenever I hear it.

    My guess is that "orientated" will eventually replace "oriented" in American speech, as it already seems to have done in England. 

    For one thing, the verb "to orient" makes no sense linguistically. Here's an analogy for you to convert the noun into a verb.

    demonstration is to demonstrate

    as acclimation is to acclimate

    as masturbation is to masturbate

    as orientation is to ___________


    Obviously, orientate is the "correct" solution, isn't it? A first grader could solve the puzzle. Drop the -ion, and add an -e.

    Both words are comparatively new by linguistic standards. Although they appeared earlier, meaning "to face east", the first use of these verbs meaning "to ascertain one's bearings" did not occur until the mid 19th century. Orient appeared in this sense in 1850, orientate in 1866. 

    • American grammarians decided that "to orient" was the correct verb, declared "to orientate" a solecism in American usage, and dumped it into Boston harbor with the tea. (You will find "to orientate" in Webster's, but only carrying its original meaning of "to face east, or turn to the east")

    • On the other hand, the British may and do use them interchangeably, and both are listed in the OED. Judging from my own time in the U.K., I believe "orientate" to be the more common usage there by a wide margin. I don't think I ever heard a British speaker say "I just need to get oriented a bit", but always "orientated". Of course, my casual observation of a few Londoners working for Shell is not exactly scientific evidence, but I was attuned to this because it sounds "wrong" to my ears, and our primary school teachers made this particular distinction one of their special causes.

    By the way - a note on the British/American singular/plural debate.

    The controversy: people in England, including the newspapers, tend to say "Holland are the best team in the field", while Americans tend to say "Holland is the best team". I researched this while (or should I say "whilst") I was living in the U.K., and found that the grammar books say the same thing in both countries. One should use the singular when referring to the team as a single entity, and the plural when referring to the players.

    Correct examples:

    Manchester is in first place in the Eastern Division.

    Manchester are sitting on the bench, waiting for the game to begin.

    The examples above are technically correct in both countries, but common usage has thrown out all those hoity-toity distinctions, and has tossed them in different directions depending on the relative location of the Atlantic Ocean. The British newspapers use "are" in both cases. The American papers use "is" in both cases. I believe the American usage is less logical because it is internally inconsistent. Each of the following sentences is standard in American practice:

    • New York is in first place.

    • The New York Yankees are in first place.

    Yet in both cases, the speaker is referring to the "New York Yankees", so why does one assume the collective singular in the first example? Clearly, the speaker is not referring to New York City's standing among cities, but the Yankees' standing among teams. (And I'm not even going to get into the confusion caused by singular team names like The Swarm)

    The British papers would say

    • New York are in first place

    • The New York Yankees are in first place.

    Right or wrong, at least it is consistent!

    Erika Eleniak
    (1, 2)

    Great DVD 'caps of the former rabbit-mag and Baywatch babe in scenes from "Chasers". Undies and partial breast exposure in #1, and the big'uns set free in #2.

    Izabella Miko
    (1, 2)

    The young star topless in scenes from "The Forsaken".

    Lori Singer
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless and in love scenes with one of of our heroes, Mickey Rourke, in "The Last Ride".

    Catherine Oxenberg Sporting some erect nipples in these 'caps from "Frozen in Fear" aka "The Flying Dutchman" (2000). If nothing else, you have to give her credit for staying in pretty good shape and still willing to show some skin as she welcomes the big 4-0.

    Jennifer Lopez J-Lo in a bikini from the movie "Angel Eyes".

    From the uncut version of the Tinto Brass movie "Cosģ fan tutte" aka "All Women Do It" (1992)
    Claudia Koll
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Hey, it's from Tinto, so you should already know that you can count on seeing ALL the goodies. Breasts, bum, bush and of course, views from the gyno-cam (links #4 and #5).

    Isabella Deiana
    (1, 2)

    Breasts and Euro-beaver. #2 is another close-up from the gyno-cam.

    Ornella Marcucci Yup, you guessed it...more full frontal nudity.

    Assorted nude fashion babes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Great scans by Nurv, with a special thanks to Blackshine for pointing these out. I don't recognize and of the model's names, but there is toplessness in almost every link, and pubes in about half of them. If you're into the Kate Moss-waify-thin'll love these.

    Sports and Nudity News
    Female Soccer Player Laughs Off Photo Showing Her Genitals

    YPSILANTI, Michigan -- Katie Lewis doesn't care about a lot of things. The senior Eastern Michigan soccer player doesn't care if she is quoted with expletives in the school newspaper, she doesn't care if someone disagrees with her and she doesn't care if an entire college town had the opportunity to see her vaginal region for 12 days. Kent State University's athletic department printed posters with all its fall teams' schedules. The main picture is of last season's soccer match between the Kent State Golden Flashes and Eastern Michigan University. It shows Lewis challenging Kent State's Kristin Meister for possession of the ball. Lewis' shorts are hiked up at an angle that shows her genitalia in the photograph. The area measures two inches by three inches and is centered at the top of the poster.

    "I hope it looks nice," Lewis said with a smile after the Eagles defeated Detroit Mercy 3-1 Wednesday. She had yet to see the poster. Kent State sports information director Will Roleson told the Daily Kent Stater the mistake was found when someone from a residence hall noticed it and called the athletic department.

    Athletics director Laing Kennedy said five members of the department, including himself saw the poster before it went to print. It was first distributed Sept. 1 and was removed when Kennedy heard about the questionable photo Sept. 13. He said he made the decision to recover those that had been given out and destroy those that had yet to be distributed. A graduate assistant in the department was sent throughout the community to retrieve as many as possible. "... it should not have happened," Kennedy said. "There are several points at which this could have been caught, including myself, and I'm very sorry. It's my responsibility." But Lewis, who is the second-leading scorer in school history, wasn't fazed. "Maybe if people want my autograph I'll sign it right on there," she said laughing.

    The Funnies by AP
    Hi Scoop,

    Instead of vidcaps today, here are a few laughs. First a joke and then some pics that take a look into an alternate future.

    Three men, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and President Bush are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

    "I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.

    The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.

    With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

    Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afganistan, so that no infidels can come into our precious state."

    Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afganistan.

    President Bush asked the Genie "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

    The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country, nothing can get in or out --- virtually impenetrable."

    President Bush says, "Very impressive, fill it with water.

    A look into an alternate future...

  • George W's new look
  • New, New York City
  • The Statue of Liberty gets a new wardrobe

  • Click Here!