"Angel Blue" (1998)
Angel Blue, which IMDB calls My Neighbor's Daughter, is a made for TV that was released on DVD in a "directors cut." It is the story of a successful WASP banker who has an affair with his Hispanic friend's teenage daughter. Frankly, this film has very little going for it. Yeniffer Behrens was believable as a teenager with a crush, as she talked like a confused teen. Sam Bottoms, as the banker, was pathetic. He was spineless, and believed that the two of them were in love and belonged together. His wife didn't see it the same way, and left with their baby. The worst performance
was by Beherns' mother (Tessa Konig-Martinez, who even pronounced her daughters name "An gell ee ka" once, rather than "An hell i ka." The exposure is from Yeniffer, who shows one breast in the girls locker room. I think the producers were trying to generate some sympathy for the lovers, but I saw an immature man and a little girl with a crush who had no business having sex.
Octopussy (1983) is included in the third and final James Bond boxed set released by MGM this Tuesday. We now have nearly all of the Connery and Moore Bond films on DVD. Missing is Never Say Never Again. More about that later. In case one of you hasn't seen Octopussy, here is a brief
run-through of the plot. Another 00 is knifed but manages to collapse into a US embassy before he dies. A Faberge egg rolls out of his hand. When it turns out to be a very good fake, Bond is assigned to find out who killed the other agent, and what the counterfeit is all about. The path leads from an auction, to India (where one of the villains, Kamal, played by Louis Jordan, and Octopussy live), and then to Germany, where Octopussy's circus is playing. Seems a soviet General wishes to prevent the USSR from disarmament agreements with NATO, and intends exploding a nuclear device, which will look like a US weapon, on a US base. He expects NATO will unilaterally disarm when this "accident" happens. He enlists the help of Octopussy, who is also a jewel thief/fence, but does not tell her the entire story.
The best exposure comes from the sequence before the opening credits, and, after three hours of research, I have been totally unable to identify the actress. If anyone knows who she is, please let me know so I can properly re-label the images. Maud Adams is seen nude in a very long shot, and
Kristina Wayborn shows lots of skin, but none of our favorite body parts. I have watched three of the films from these boxed sets now, and they are superbly done. The image quality is superb
, and they are loaded with special features. In this case, the "making of" featurette, and the director's commentary both concentrated on the stunt work, and the special effects. Although I was hoping for information on my unknown actress, I have to admit that the stunts and effects were the strong point of this effort. One of the stunt men was seriously injured
filming the train sequences, and an actor fell and broke his arm during production. Special effects and stunts dominate the film. There are fewer clever Q toys than usual, less action from Moore, and less skin than normal. Even though this is not one of the best Bond films, I am a sucker for any Bond, so I enjoyed it.
I mentioned that "Never Say Never Again" is not included in these three boxed sets, and the reason involves Octopussy. Indeed, Never Say Never Again is not available in any format, other than used VHS. It seems the original concept for Thunderball was developed by Kevin McClory and Ian Flemming. Sometime after they gave up, Flemming wrote Thunderball. When it was announced that Thunderball would be made into a film, McClory sued and won. He was made an executive producer, received a cut, and also received the right to do a remake at a future date. When McClory decided to make Never Say Never Again, which is the rewrite of Thunderball, he talked Connery into playing the role that he had said he would "Never Again" play. Hence, the title of the film. I don't suppose the $5 million he was offered made his decision a little easier. Fleming sued and lost, and the film was made at the same time as Octopussy.
It all comin' down to
the short strokes now, which seem right when one of the
white mofo's name Bush. |
But Scoop, yo, I can't get
down with these crackas. I mean this Al Gore one fucked
up bitch, yo. Mofo got a bad attitude, hear me. Like he
the only one that know what right for you and me, and not
just for him, and if you don't agree then he just heave a
big sigh at how mofo'n stupid we are, then turn his back
and talk to someone much smarter than us, meanin someone
who agree with his big peckawood ass, or some peckawood
give him a few dead green presidents if he get to shit in
the Lincoln Toilet, or eat in the mofo'n Millard Fillmore
I give the boy some green if I can smoke Tipper in the
ass in the Lincoln Bedroom. That be cool.
An this Bush cracka no easier on my eyes, yo. He not
so dumb as they say. He jump on Al Gore for lettin some
mofo's sleep in the White House, but if he get in there
you know there be some peckawood oil billionaires in
there drinkin some mofo'n Lone Star Beer an 'pissin on
the Coolidge Commode and bouncin on the Garfield Bed and
puttin they cowboy boots up on the Taft Divan, cuz that
the way it work.
And no matter which cracka get there, I don't see ol
Stone Cold in there dropping his big black ass down on
the Hoover Hassock an munchin some ribs off the Truman
This month's highlights.
Renee Zellweger see through. She been in the gym.
Selma Blair see-through
Alison Armitagein Miracle Beach
Darlene Vogel in Ski School
Linnea Quigley in Creepozoids. The girl got a great
Amanda Donohoe in "Castaway". There's another one we need on DVD.
There must be an
interesting story behind this movie, but I don't know
what it is.
According to IMDb, they spent $20 million
to make this movie, then they didn't release it in the
USA. I don't know whether that's an exaggeration, but
there are some scenes with a very rich look to them, and
plenty of digital f/x, however much that costs.
Strangely, though, something else doesn't add up here.
They re-used several shots at various times in the movie.
Two lovely shots of a lantern-illuminated corridor are
repeated, and two scenes between Grendel's mother and
father are almost identical. Does that sound right in a
film with a $20 million budget? And how can you spend
that much on a movie and then not release it? A mystery.
Granted, it's an odd movie. They have taken the old
Beowulf poem and located it in an alternate reality which
includes loudspeakers, bizarre weaponry, and .. well, you
know, it's some kind of non-existent Sword and Sorcery
alternate reality, but the essence of the story is
Beowulf. Graham Baker directed, and I think this his
first feature in many years. (He directed Alien Nation
and Omen III: the Final Conflict.)
Beowulf is played by Christopher Lambert. Now see if
this twist sounds familiar. Beowulf is born of the same
evil as Grendel and Grendel's mother. But he takes after
his human mother, not his evil god dad, as opposed to
Grendel who is also half human, but takes after mom's
side of the family. It seems that the only way that
Beowulf can keep from being dominated by his evil side is
to fight against evil. So he has to go around and kill
all his evil half-brothers and sisters. And only they can
kill each other.
And, in the end ....
there can be only one.
It's Beowulf meets Highlander. With Christopher
Lambert, it all seems to boil down to Highlander, doesn't
By the way, I've now watched him in many movies and
have still never seen him blink. I think we can conclude
one of two things:
- His face is not capable of that much motion, or
- He had his eyelids surgically removed.
Oh, man, imagine if the Immortal Prophet made a
mistake when he wrote that Bible of the Immortals.
"Oh, guys, remember when I said there can be only
one? Turns out I missed the boat on that one. There can
be two, ten, maybe millions. Turns out you guys can raise
families and form cities and have block parties. Sorry
about all those chopped heads."
Oh, back to the point. I know the movie is bad, but
they spent a lot of money on it. Why not release it in a
few theaters and get a few critcs to screen it?
After all, they released "The 13th Warrior".
Nudity (fish-net top) from Layla Roberts. This scene
was ... um ... highly derivative of the scene in
Excalibur in which Morgan seduces Arthur to produce her
Heavy-duty cleavage from Rhona Mitra. By the way, now
that Rhona is on the scene, Emma Thompson should look
forward to a much-needed rest from all the future acting
jobs she will undoubtedly lose. I think
"Beowulf" must represent the only time in film
history that Lambert has ever met someone with less
facial movement. By the way, did you know that Lambert,
despite his odd pronunciation, was born on Long Island? I
haven't been there in a long time, but as I recall they
do speak some form of English there, don't they? Maybe he
just talks that way because he can't move his facial
muscles sufficiently to pronounce "th".
summary: 3.5 out of 10. That's way down there with
Plan 9. Astounding, when you think about it - to spend 20
million dollars to make a film as good as Plan 9.
info from Amazon.
King and Country (1964)
It is possible that
this is the most underrated movie in existence. You
probably never heard of it, but from the magnificent
opening credits to the jaw dropping finale, it is a
somber B&W masterpiece in every sense of the word,
and it is now on DVD.
I used to organize groups to
watch this movie on TV when I was in college, because it
was then fashionable among film buffs to argue that
"Paths of Glory" was Kubrick's finest film, and
this film is similar in many ways. Everyone who saw
"King and Country" agreed that it was in the
same class as the Kubrick classic, and I think most
people liked it better.
It's the trial of a WW1 deserter who doesn't really
know why he deserted, and the officer who is forced by
duty to defend him. As time goes on, the two of them
interact in ways that bind them together, and the defense
becomes a work of simple human compassion, and an
education about just how much humanity was lost in the
insanity of The Great War.
No nudity. In fact, no women that I can recall.
summary: 8.0 out of 10. That is a high enough score
to place in the Top 100 of all time, but it is based on
only 50 votes. It is a shame so few people have seen this
info from Amazon.
Picking up the Pieces (2000)
A very odd movie, the rare movie in which Woody
Allen works for another director, and an unexpectedly
entertaining flick. It was directed by Alfonso Arau
("Like Water for Chocolate")..
Woody Allen plays a guy
who killed his ditzy promiscuous wife (Sharon Stone) and
hacked her to pieces. Somehow, her hacked-off hand is
discovered, is found to work miracles, and is assumed to
be the hand of the Virgin.
(Wow, not even close.
You'd think the day-glow nail polish would have given it
away, not to mention the position of the fingers, which
form a familiar obscene gesture).
Well, the local priest
knows it can't be the Virgin, but he keeps his mouth shut
because the small country church where it is enshrined
becomes a Mecca for Christians everywhere, and the
run-down town around it experiences a tourism bonanza,
not to mention several miracles for the people of the
town. In fact, everyone gets the miracle they request.
The blind see, the legless grow legs, a midget gets a
dick five feet long, small-breasted women turn into Uschi
So when Woody shows up to
tell the truth about the hand, the townspeople are just
not happy at all. Especially when he steals the hand for
a while, and all the miracles get rescinded.
There were several funny
ideas in the film. One of the most intriguing was when
the dead Sharon came back from the dead and appeared to
Woody. He's terrified, but she just wanted to thank him
for killing her and thereby saving her soul. ("I
wasn't exactly heaven material until you made me a
martyr"). She's completely happy with the afterlife
except they temporarily placed her in the non-smoking
I laughed out loud several
times during Woody Allen's confession, in which he
admitted that it had been a long time since his last
confession, in fact technically he had never been to
confession becuase his being Jewish really threw a monkey
wrench into the works. And he also, before confessing,
wanted to clarify to the priest that although he was
Jewish,he was not personally responsible for the death of
Christ. In fact, the whole crucifixion thing was just a
party that got out of hand. When the priest didn't laugh
on the other side of the confessional, Woody said
"it was a very funny joke for Lenny Bruce, but maybe
not right for this room".
The film featured often
odd cameos from such familiar faces as Fran Drescher,
Eddie Griffin, Elliott Gould, Andy Dick, Lou Diamond
Phillips, and Cheech Marin. I don't know that I can claim
to be a great fan of Sharon Stone, but I think you'll
find her brief appearance very funny and touching, and a
beautiful bit of comedy economy.
I don't think this black
comedy was ever released theatrically in the USA. It was
shown only one time on Cinemax on May 26th.. Their
websites indicate that they are still seeking
distribution, but I guess that's out of date now that it
has been released on VHS and DVD.
IMDb reviewers didn't even
like it (5.5), but I really enjoyed it, and I recommend
it if you are intrigued by the premise. I will warn you
that you won't like it if you're a deeply religious
person, but I guess that not many devoutly spiritual
people read my comments. I noticed there's no hyperlink
to me from www.Mormon.com.
NUDITY. It's actually a
fairly sexy movie (the priest is in love with the local
hooker), but there's no explicit nudity.
summary: 5.5 out of 10. Oh, bull! I went in and voted
it an 8, just to do my part.
info from Amazon.
Safe House (2000)
This is the movie in which Captain Picard plays
a genius and former intelligence agent who is gradually
succumbing to Alzheimer's disease.
It's quite a good thriller
with an intriguing premise. Ol' Jean-Luc's family think
that he is completely paranoid about the plot against his
life. In fact, his daughter doesn't even believe he used
to be a secret agent, and didn't even know he worked for
the CIA, so she thinks everything is related to
Like his doctor, we don't
know what to believe. The truth is shielded from us as
long as possible, and it becomes even more muddled as the
disease progresses, and even Jean-Luc doesn't know what
is real and what isn't.
It's quite a good movie in
many ways. It can be thoughtful, touching, and thrilling
in turn, and Jean-Luc did a helluva job in the lead. I
thought it was spoiled a bit by a distractingly
lightweight performance from co-star Kimberly Williams,
who is supposed to be a genius in the story, but who
delivers every single line like those Miss America
candidates answering the softball questions.
summary: 7.5 out of 10.
info from Amazon.
Kelly McGillis in "The House on Carroll Street"
|A great little collection of rare sexploitation flicks from the late 60's and early 70's. Unfortunately, the quality isn't the best, but there is plenty of nudity. (and looks like almost all of it is natural!)
|Nice fake UFO in #1! Ed Eood would be so proud!
|The Sinful Dwarf
|Apparently this is one sick and twisted movie that actually played in theatres in Denmark back in '73. The story...Olaf (the dwarf) lures innocent young girls to his mom's house with help of mechanical toy poodles. The girls are then doped up and sold into slavery, or sold to clients by the hour. When not selling sex or selling the girls into slavery, the dwarf and his drunk mom also smuggle heroin, and perform several musical numbers. According to what I read today, the multiple sex scenes may even be real.
||From the German TV magazine "Peep". Here is Julie showing a lot of leg, a lot of cleavage, and her "topless pirate" Halloween costume.
||Who? Yup, that's what I said at first until I looked her up.
Former Bunny Babe, plus several small screen roles that most of us have seen. Including:
The Milano classic, "Embrace of the Vampire"....Rebecca played the Princess
"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"....Woman who gave Ace a non-monetary reward for finding her dog.
"Three Amigos!"....Seniorita who kisses Ned
These scenes from 1995's "California Heat". No nudity, but she is wearing a very see-thru dress.
|Busting out of her skin tight costume in scenes from the TV series "Mortal Kombat: Conquest".
|Tine van den Brande
||Upskirt peaks from the Belgian movie "She Good Fighter"
| and ...
||Excellent classic goodies by Akira. Vicaps from "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice"
|Dawn Marie Psaltis
||Extreme thong 'caps from ECW, by Crow.
||More Rasslin' coverage by Crow...Wet t-shirt from ECW Anarchy Rulz.
|Excellent wonderbra scans of the beautiful Italian actress, by Pentheus.
|More of Britney in concert by StopMotion. Maybe it's just the camera angle, but in #3 it looks like her breasts are gone. Is this the proof many have been begging for with regards to the "are they real" question? For now, the debate continues. (At least until she finally does a layout for a men's mag!)
|Page 3 babes
||A nice collage of Page 3 babes with a theme...all of these lovely lasses are wearing boots (and not much else)!
||A topless Hungarian babe.
|3 Asian Babes
|No clue if thes ladies are celebs, models, or whatever. But I don't mind, all three look pretty darn good. #1 and #2 are bikini pics, and #3 is a topless scan.
I won't lie...the past couple of days have not been the greatest for new material. So, once again let's take a look back at some recent posts and talk about why there deserve a second look.
|I know you're thinking "Hey Jr, Vanessa doesn't get naked!". Trust me, I'm painfully aware of this fact. But face it, she is still one of if not the sexiest woman alive (in my book anyway).
Besides...Vanessa did a movie that recently made some web news. A great little indie called "This Space Between Us". Wonderful cast including Gary Marshall, Leslie Bibb, Taylor Negron, and Alex Kingston to name a few. So what's so special? Well for one thing, the movie is currently only available for viewing online. Second...it's free. Third...it's the absolute best encoding I've ever seen! The 300k and 750k versions playing at full screen with Windows Media Player 7 over my DSL connection, looked better than the resolution I get from watching a movie on my PC with Power DVD! If you're on a modem, they have 56k verisons too. Plus there is even a version for Windows CE.
The website is www.cinemapop.com, and in my opinion as a web geek since '95, this is the best effort towards really creating movies on demand that I've ever seen. Definitely worth checking out!
|Farrah Forke and Kari Wuhrer
|Why are these scenes from "Kate's Addiction" by NMD worth a second look? Well, first of all Farrah Forke nudity is rare. and Second...hot lesbo action with Kari Wuhrer. Nuf said.
The rest I chose for their excellent quality not so much for any importance for celebrity nudity.
||Little known actress with fabulous breasts from the movie "Star Maps", by HBS Grafix.
||Also by HBS, here are topless 'caps of the German actress.
||Fantastic 'caps by Mongoose from "Do the Right Thing".
||I have no idea who she is either, but for anyone who can appreciate a nice posterior view...I highly recommend this scan by Pentheus.
||Beautiful work by Watty. Tara topless (and getting felt up) from "Sirens".
Apparently yesterday's Darwin awards were fakes! While I can't imagine why someone would go through the trouble, it seems that someone did. Actually, some may not be fakes, they are just not-confirmed. For those interested, here is a link to the real Darwin Awards site. Personally, I found the fakes a lot more entertaining.