Monday

Cable Round-up

Boardwalk Empire had an excellent episode, but disappointed us for the first time on the nudity front. There was only one fleeting background tit.

Eastbound and Down featured some random topless Kenny Powers fans and a mighty plump senorita named Lisa De Razzo

 

 

Krai

Krai is a new (2010) Russian movie with aspirations to epic status.

The setting is the remotest section of Siberia in 1945, just after the end of World War II. There are a few dozen people living together in a labor camp on the edge of nowhere. The central government has more important things to deal with that to get around to this tiny encampment. There is an officer in charge, but he has a weak will, lost one arm in the war, doesn't have a weapon, and just doesn't give a shit. People obey him when they feel like it, and the situation is not far from anarchy. Into the camp comes Ignat, a battle-hardened young sergeant who specializes in the maintenance of locomotives. He had experienced some psychological damage when we was fighting at the front, but he does understand and love trains - loves fixin' 'em, loves drivin' em, you name it. The officer tells Ignat that he's now number two in command, but Ignat is not impressed with the dumpy camp at all, and is the tougher of the two guys, so he says he'll just keep moving on. The officer responds that Ignat has to stay, not because it's an order, but because there's nowhere else to go. To go back is to face court martial and/or hard work, and there's no going forward because the railroad tracks end a few miles down the line.

In spite of those facts, Ignat soon finds someplace to go. The railroad line ends at a large body of water, but it did not always stop there. Beyond that is a partially damaged bridge which used to lead to an enormous island. It seems that the island was once used as a joint German/Russian logging camp which was supposed to be a model of international co-operation when Stalin and Hitler were still buddies. The railroad bridge had been used to bring the wood from the island back to the mainland. When Germany broke the non-aggression pact, all hell broke loose, things got ugly, the bridge got damaged, and a locomotive got abandoned on the island. When Ignat finds out about the island's history, he has come close to his personal heaven. Given the lack of authority in this outback location, if he can get to the island, repair the train, and patch up the bridge, he can actually have his own personal locomotive. And he does love him some trains! Of course, even if he can make it to the island, people believe that some armed Germans are still living there.

The rest of the plot is for you to discover.

This is one of the best damned movies I've seen in years. It is dazzlingly original in concept and execution, the cinematography is both spectacular and inventive, and the film is just ... big. The themes are big, the locations are spectacularly rugged, the action scenes are epic in scope, and the ideas are important. It has a little bit of everything. There's a crazy Russian man and a young German girl working together to build a makeshift bridge over some raging water, and then driving a locomotive at top speed hoping to reach the undamaged portion of the bridge before their jury-rigged trestle can collapse. There are two dramatic locomotive races, one in good weather and one in the snow. There's a locomotive test of strength with two of the giant engines pushing face-to-face. There's a gigantic "immortal" bear who seems to be everywhere. There's humor,  inspiration, and a satisfying ending. There are fascinating characters, all of them unique, colorful, and slightly damaged - sometimes more than "slightly." Hell, there's even a naked catfight between two women who are surrounded by several other completely naked women.

It goes without saying that not all of you will be interested in a Russian language movie about a remote and barely civilized camp in Siberia in 1945, but if the idea of watching something like that doesn't turn you off, I think you'll be very impressed by this film.


Nudity;

The nudity is terrific, but I have to mitigate that with an admonition that the characters are all normal-looking women rather than women who look like actresses. They are supposed to have lived hard lives with inadequate nutrition and exercise, and they do look the part. Despite that, I found the nudity quite pleasant, and Julia Peresild has a helluva rack on 'er.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

"True Blood"

continuing with s1e3

1920x1080

Lynn Collins film clip (samples below)

 

 

 
 

Wet

Jaime Hammer

 

Karlie Montana

Veronica Saint

 


Jelena Jensen

in Cougar Club

in Office Pantyhose Catfight, a film often compared to Schindler's List

and in Peach Ultimate, whatever that is

 

 
 
 

Fragment

(2009)

Johnny's comments:

Fragment is about a war photographer who gets hit in the head by a piece of radioactive shrapnel, which gets embedded in his brain. A doctor predicts that he has not long to live, so he spends his last days roaming around Sydney with his camera, while a pretty young girl films a documentary of his final days. The man has a couple of experiences where he photographs dead animals that miraculously come back to life. Meanwhile across town, police shoot dead a particularly nasty serial killer (boringly titled the DVD Killer. Police should get someone creative to name these crooks...), where a stash of his snuff films are found. The photographer moves into a new apartment that may have been inhabited by someone who is now missing and when he accidentally discovers a bloodied DVD, it becomes more clear. It's another snuff film from the serial killer that was filmed in his apartment. Using his trusty camera, he photographs the girl on the DVD and as before, the woman comes alive. But, so does the nasty serial killer and guess who wants to keep on killing. So, is the photographer going completely crazy and imagining this or is this oh so very real. Imaginative horror thriller that is probably a decent director away from been superb, but is very watchable (and particularly nasty) nonetheless.

Scoop's note:

This is such a monumental effort and the files are so large that I split the project up. Today we'll have all the collages, plus all the Rachel Burns nudity, and the first clip from Bree Robertson. There's MUCH more Robertson to come!

Here's an HD clip of Rachel Burns (sample below)

Here's the first part of the HD Bree Robertson clips

(all the collages are below, including the ones from future clips)

 

 

Pics

Susan Blakely in an episode of The Hitchhiker

Kelly Brook topless

Gretchen Mol in Boardwalk Empire

 

Clips

Elodie Yung in Let Her (720p; sample below)

Lady Gaga's nearly naked crowd surf in HD (sample below)

Lizzie Brochere in "Les Bleus ..." (s4e8 in 720p; sample below)

Jane Asher very naked in Tirante el Blanco. There are two facts you should know: (1) Jane Asher was Paula McCartney's girlfriend, then fiancÚe, from 1964 to 1968; (2) this movie was made in 2006. You don't have to be Pythagoras to calculate that the 40 year time difference means that she was not a young woman when she did this scene. But I'll say this - that is one hot 60-year-old!

Camille Keaton in Tragic Ceremony

Beverly Johnson in Ashanti

The women of Bound and Gagged: Ginger Lynn Allen and Mary Ella Ross

The women of the Diving Bell and the Butterfly in HD: Agathe de la Fontaine, Marie Meyer, and Marina Hands