The Departed (2006) and Internal Affairs (2002):

Scorsese based his new movie on an excellent Hong Kong crime thriller, and he stuck pretty damned close to the plot, although all of the dialogue and characterization is new in the American version.

I wrote an essay on the differences between the two. For movie geeks only: Movie House Page. You should not read it if you're afraid of spoilers. I don't really give any details about the endings, but in the course of comparing the two films, I certainly reveal a general outline of the outcome, so you should see the Departed BEFORE reading this, unless you have no intention of seeing it. (You should. It is not really a gritty crime film, as many critics suggested, but an over-the-top comic opera film in the Tarantino tradition. Nicholson essentially reprises his role as The Joker, missing only the green hair, but Alec Baldwin and Mark Wahlberg gave Nicholson a run for his money in the ham department. DiCaprio is basically the only actor who delivers a naturalistic performance, and he does a great job, but he obviously missed out on all the fun!)

Sadly, neither film has any nudity.


Third party videos:

  • A classic exploitation film: Pamela Sue Martin in The Lady in Red (Zipped .mpg)
  • Nina Siemaszko in  More Tales of the City (Zipped .mpg)





Homeless guys sell fake coins on LA's Skid Row

New jail visitor dress code: Bras a must


"Extreme Roadrash: Cause, Effect, and Lesson Learned"

Dave Barry classic: The funny side of 'Beowulf'

‘AMERICAN LIE’ (The Long-Awaited Sequel to ‘American Pie’)

Hilarious! South Park's Uncle Fucker dubbed into Japanese


Up In Smoke: The Year's Political Losers



  • "Paris Hilton showed up this weekend at the Hollywood nightclub Hyde with five African orphans. “Everyone keeps telling me how cool they are, so I had one of my assistants go get me them,” said Paris. “When I heard Angelina and Madonna had one, I knew I had to get twice as many, so now I have five of them.”
    Style expert Steven Davies says a Third World orphan is an excellent accessory for all events. “You can have them on the red carpet and they look fabulous,” said Davies. “They’re also great for a casual event like having lunch at the Ivy. They go great with just about any type of dress.”

The Filthy Critic discusses Rocky VI

Astro Pic o' the Day - In the Shadow of Saturn




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Cotton Mary (1999)

Boarding School, aka Leidenschaftliche Blümchen, aka Passion Flower Hotel, aka Preppy School Girls, aka Virgin Campus, features Nasty Kinski in a German sex comedy. She plays the new student at a Swiss girls' boarding school with one very fortunate asset -- a boys' school only a short walk over a bridge. Since she has an excellent record, she is placed in a dorm room with the wildest students in the school in the hope that she will be a good influence in them.

Not even close.

On the train ride to the school, Natassja meets a young man from the boys' school. She concocts a plan for the girls to form a prostitution company so they can lose their virginity. The boys immediately form their own group of "customers." The truth is that none of the young people have any experience, and going from motive and opportunity to actually committing the crime proves to be more difficult than they imagined.

This is the second time I have run across this film. The first was very early in my imaging career. The transfer then was terrible. This time, it is only slightly better, with the video being badly over-saturated and mushy.  Some may get a few chuckles out of the lengths these kids go to to try and get laid, but the film is mostly noteworthy as a chance to see a very young Natassja with her clothes off, however briefly. (There is actually not much nudity in this film, especially given that there are two shower scenes, and a strip tease show put on by the girls, but then the cast members were actually school girl age.)

 This is a low C-.

IMDb readers say 3.9.


We have breasts from Natassja Kinski...
... and Veronique Delbourg.



Norma Jean and Marilyn (1996)

This is a HBO biopic of Marilyn Monroe. I've had this bare-bines DVD a long time, but Scoop's review so thoroughly trashed it that I completely passed until now. To summarize his complaints, he felt the film attempted to long a period in a life with too large a scope. He also felt that the film failed to show the amazing charisma of Marilyn, or offer any insights into why she was the way she was. I don't disagree with his conclusion at all, this was a 139 minute waste of my time. I suppose the fact that they misspelled her real name should have been a clue.

I am not sure the problem was the scope, and I can hardly blame the film makers for their inability to cast someone who could demonstrate Marilyn's incredible screen presence. In viewing all of her films in the boxed sets, I couldn't help but notice that if Marilyn was on screen, she is the one who got your attention, even when playing a bit part with no lines. Sophie Marceau, in her prime, had a great deal of appeal, but even she would have been upstaged by Marilyn's mere presence. I am also not sure the film didn't have a point of view. They cast Ashley Judd as Norma Jeane Dougherty, and Mira Sorvino as Marilyn, and in the second half of the film, show them almost as a split personality, with the Norma Jeane personality having infinite drive, and the Marilyn portion being essentially a love- and attention- starved woman who was done in by drugs. At least, it would be possible to make a strong case for that view.

For me, the problem was different. A collage is a valid graphic art form, and can be used very effectively, for instance, to show interconnections among elements of the image, or to present overall images with layer after layer of deeper meanings contained within. While you can usually say that the finished product does or doesn't appeal to you, you must study it at length to completely understand it. Further, viewing art is subjective, so different people will walk away from it having seen different things. This film was a collage of Norma Jean/Marilyn's life, assembled hodgepodge from the elements of her life all of us already knew. The problem with this concept is that it plays out in linear time, not allowing us to study the elements, the way they were arranged, or how one influences another. I suppose one could watch it over and over, and see if there is a successful collage here, with insight to be eventually gained, but I will leave that to someone who was not bored to distraction by this completely uninspiring film.

Scoopy wavered between C- for film nudity fans, and D for the rest. Although clips of the nudity would be a worthwhile project for some volunteer, I have no such scoring dilemma. To me, this is a clear D.

IMDb readers are more charitable (6.1)

Ashley Judd does full frontal and rear nudity starting before the opening credits.
Mira Sorvino shows breasts, partial buns, and maybe a hint of bush.






No nudity today, but some fine young women:


The Dark Hours (2005):

Iris Graham


Supercross (2005):

Cameron Richardson






Notes and collages


Erica Durance in The House of the Dead. I just like the visual distortion effect of water here in contrast to how things look in air; oh yeah and Erica Durance is a babe.



Jane Seymour in The Tunnel. A fine-boned English beauty.


Erika Eleniak in Under Siege. A very pretty lady.

Mira Sorvino in Norma Jean and Marilyn. Same collage as yesterday - revised file name for you collectors.






Dann reports on The Janitor:

Fans of Troma Productions will like this 2003 comedy/horror flick. It has all the elements of a typical Troma release, even including Troma boss Lloyd Kaufman, who has a cameo as a drunken bum. However, it is NOT a Troma release. You won't know the difference, however, because everything, including the campiness and dumbness, the overabundant blood and gore, the gratuitous nudity, the cheesiness of the sets, the lame acting, and even the bad cinematography, is there.

Lionel is a janitor who goes over the edge. Treated like dirt by his co-workers, and treated like an idiot child by the boss janitor, he finally cracks. Bodies add up as the totally inept FBI investigates. In typical Troma style, you see him killing one person in the background while the agent in the foreground wonders if the killings could possibly be an inside job. Hmmmm, I wonder.

Lionel finally decides to leave his company for a cushy janitor job with the local sorority house, but things get really ugly when he finds himself beaten out of the job at the last minute by, of all people, his ex-boss janitor from the old company. This leads to a Battle of the Janitors.

Sure, it's all total nonsense, but that's why you watch this type of movie, and this one is a lot fun and totally faithful to the genre (if Troma films can be called a genre), so just jump in and have a (bloody) ball.

One interesting side note: Meghan Callihan did not appear in The Janitor. She appeared in a proof-of-concept short called The Office is Closed, but Her Legs are Open, shot about three months before The Janitor was started. The short eventually became Crystal LeBard's nude scene in The Janitor.

Crystal Le Bard Rachel Anne Bennett Meghan Callihan
Stephanie Medina   Unknown





Tracy Griffith. Here's the lesser-known Griffith sister in a silly thing called Skeeter.

Miranda Otto in Love Serenade

Miranda Otto again, in Kin

Annalise Phillips in Envy.

Samantha Tolj in Stingers

Tammy McIntosh in All Saints

Samantha Noble in See No Evil

Holly Valence in Entourage

Maggie Q in Naked Weapon

Tasha May in 5ive Girls

Patricia Velazquez in Rescue Me" (episode "DNA")

And of course, it goes without saying, Lindsay Lohan out clubbing