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Up! (1976) is one of the later films from Russ Meyer, who is known as the first to make sexploitation, starting in 1959 with The Immoral Mr. Teas. By 1976, he was feeling a real pinch from hard core films, and abandoned trying to tell a good story in favor of more nudity and simulated sex. He was known as a boob man, and hired some of the largest breasted women in the business for this film. As it begins, a young man is whipping Adolph Schwartz, who bears a striking resemblance to Hitler, while he performs oral sex on first Candy Samples, then Elaine Collins, and finally Su Ling. After this B & D, someone kills Schwartz buy dropping a piranha in his bath. The rest of the film is supposedly a whodunnit, but is really one excuse after another for nudity and sex. By the time the film is over, nine women show some or all of their charms.

Candy Samples as The Headsperson shows all three Bs, but never her face, as she is wearing a leather mask.
Elaine Collins as The Ethiopian Chef shows breasts and a hint of bush.
Foxy Lae as Pocohontas shows All three Bs.
Marianne Marks as chesty Young Thing shows breasts exchanging head for not getting a traffic ticket.
Linda Sue Ragsdale as the dyke Gwendolyn shows breasts, buns, and a rear gyno view, but her bush is obscured by a giant dildo.
Su Ling as Limehouse shows all three Bs.
The other three women, Kitten Natividad, Raven, and Janet Wood, the stars of the film, show all three Bs over and over.

Kitten Natividad never looked better than in this film, and played the part of The Greek Chorus, who job was to romp naked through forest settings, and spout expository dialogue to advance the plot and summarize the action. It is in her dialogue that none other than Roger Ebert's role as co-scriptwriter is most evident. Janet Wood plays Sweet Lil Alice, and Raven, sometimes credited as Raven De La Croix, plays Margo Winchester.

This is one of three films from Meyer that has been remastered for DVD. They are not yet in distribution channels, but can be purchased from his web site. They should be in general distribution soon. IMDB readers rate this 6.4 of 10, which is rather high for a sexploitation comedy. The film is full of naked women and odd characters, and doesn't take itself seriously even once. It is pricey, but anyone fond of early exploitation needs to see, if not own it. C+.

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  • Candy Samples (1, 2, 3)
  • Elaine Collins
  • Foxy Lae (1, 2, 3)
  • Janet Wood (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Kitten Natividad (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
  • Linda Sue Ragsdale (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Marianne Marks (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Raven (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
  • Su Ling (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    "The Bridges of Madison County"

    The Bridges of Madison County (1995) is a Clint Eastwood film staring Meryl Streep as an Iowa farm wife and mother, whose life is entirely taken up in one boring detail after another. She has died, and her children are going through her belongings, and come across a set of diaries, which show mom to be far more interesting than they ever expected. Seems the family had gone off to a state fair, and left her at home, when a handsome and famous photographer, Clint Eastwood, stops to ask her directions to a covered bridge. He is doing a photo essay on the bridges of Madison County, Iowa. She rides with him, as the directions are complicated, and they are immediately attracted to one another.

    The relationship builds quickly into a full blow affair, and Eastwood wants her to leave with him. Streep wants the same thing, with all her heart, but, in the end, family and duty come first, and she stays behind. Streep was nominated for an Oscar for her performance, which was great even by her high standards. When we first see her, she is drab and dumpy, going through the motions of living. The moment she meets Eastwood, she transforms into a vibrant woman, without changing makeup or costume. She was concerned about Eastwood directing and starring, as she didn't see how he could direct, yet focus on her while on camera, which is necessary to her, as it is to most actors, to give a good performance. She reported that he was more than equal to the task.

    When I tried this several years ago with less in the way of equipment and experience, I was unable to find any nudity. This time through, I discover breast and bun exposure from Streep in three dark scenes. IMDB readers have this at 6.7 of 10. Surprisingly, women and men like it nearly equally, although I would have thought of it as a chick flick. Ebert awards 3 1/2 stars, and, from his review, I am surprised he didn't give it 4. Berardinelli also awards 3 1/2 stars. Shot entirely on location in Madison County, Iowa for $22M, the film was a smash with a gross of $176M. It was not the fact that they fell in love, nor was it the passion they shared that made this film compelling. Rather it was their choice to not stay together. They both realized that what might be best for the two of them would not be best overall. In some ways, this might be Eastwoods best film overall, although not at all typical of his work. The proper score is B.

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  • Meryl Streep (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    In my article on Insomnia, I wrote a detailed description of the differences between this and the earlier, Norwegian version. Both are excellent movies. The remake is much more logical and coherent, but also much "safer", without some of the edge that made the first one so good.

    The good news: the same writers contributed to the screenplay, and they had five years to think about some things they wanted to fix.

    • In the earlier version, the cop had no reason to create the elaborate scam to hid the fact that he accidentally shot his partner. His cover-up was pure stupidity (perhaps induced by insomnia), and there was no reason for him to hide the simple truth. They fixed this by giving him a motivation. There is no doubt that the L.A. cops would have assumed he killed his partner, because of other elements in the back-story.
    • In the earlier version, the evidence manipulation was completely out of character - the cop was a very honest cop who was exiled to the Northland not because of sloppy short-cuts in his detective work, but because of his sexual relationships with suspects and witnesses. The screenwriters fixed this as well, eliminating the cop's sexual harassment and making him a faker of evidence instead. Therefore, he does what he has always done when he manipulates the evidence in his partner's death. It was second nature.

    The film now makes perfect sense in terms of consistent behavior and motivation from the cop. 

    The bad news: the cop was placed on a higher moral ground by the re-make.

    • The whole point of the original was that the cop and the baddie were so close that only the tiniest circumstances separated them. The cop may also have come close to killing a woman who didn't respond to him sexually.
    • Furthermore, in the Norwegian version, the cop planted evidence on an innocent person, while in the American version the cop was a habitual faker of evidence, but both in Alaska and L.A., he did it only to convict people who were certainly guilty.

    I guess they didn't really want to hang all that amorality on Al Pacino.

    • Crystal Lowe (1, 2)

    Why pull punches? Why mince words? Windtalkers is a very poor movie, despite a $115 million budget and a director, John Woo, who is usually competent. But no ifs ands or buts about it, this movie sucks copious quantities of malaria-infested swamp water. No nudity, either.

    Of course, Windtalkers is another Grand Illusion compared to The Rats

    • Kim Poirier. If you lusted after more of her in the short-lived Paradise Falls series, here she is. (1, 2, 3)

    And The Rats is another Saving Private Ryan compared to Can't Stop the Music.

    Everybody sing along.

    "YMCA. It's fun to stay at the YMCA."

    • Valerie Perrine (1, 2)

    Mr Skin came through with a second generation tape of Stockard Channing in Sweet Revenge

  • Channing

    Hey, Scoop:

    Hi Scoop, Wonder if you could put out an APB to the Fun House readers for a topless scene that Jennifer Runyon did in The Killing Streets (1991)?  It's the only time that I know of that she ever showed the goodies.  It's not a great scene but I sure would like to see a vidcap of it.  In case no one remembers her, she was one of the test subjects that Bill Murray was using at the beginning of Ghostbusters.  She was also in Up The Creek.  Very cute.


    Hey, Scoop Not sure if someone has written you already about this. Haven't checked the site. Leelee's L'Idole is apparently a bit of a disappointment when it comes to nudity. Here is a "nude review" (not mine):

    • The first somewhat nude scene has her on the john backwards so you only see her back. She then puts on a robe and puts on her panties and a top (she faces away from the camera for the top) that is somewhat see-through. She wears the top later in the movie.
    • The only other significant scene is when she is brushing her hair. She is facing the mirror and there is a full side shot and you can see nipples and her ass. Its kinda dark though. She then dries her hair while sitting on the bed but you only see her  back and top of her butt. That's about it

    I'm almost 100% sure that the director (Samantha Lang) shot more than this, but for some reason didn't put it into the movie (may she burn in hell :-) ). Leelee's Venice Magazine interview also suggested that.

    Of course one could hope there would more in the DVD when it comes out but that's pretty much fooling yourself: - (However perhaps DVD capper "wizards" will get decent caps from it when it's finally released. Well, let's hope she will do more French Movies. Don't
    see her doing nudity in American ones (hope I'm wrong of course :-) ).


    Other crap:


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Three more TV Lifeguard Babes of the Exposed variety today.

    Lori Morrissey leads. Capped her a while back in Emmanuelle: A Time to Dream and it was in the search for more of her stuff that I ran into this DVD.

    Lori's bum is the star of her performance. Of the six collages, four (1, 2, 5 and 6) show off her bum either in a thong or completely bare. We also get Lori's hooties in collages 3, 4 and 5 and a distant bush view in #6). The real disappointment in her scene was the absence of close-ups, particularly of the kind that pretty much dominated things for the other babes.

    • Lori Morrissey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Next up, veteran B movie babe Shari Eckert. Unlike Lori, Shari gets real close to the camera. Six collages, hooties in all, minor bum exposure in #6. Her interview in this DVD was an unintentional riot. Not once, not twice, but three times she makes the point that it ain't just the body, guys, it's the talent that gets her on the silver screen. I'm sure you can see the added talent she paid good money to have installed, and that sure enough paid off as Shari earned Oscar nominations for her performances in Bikini Traffic School and Arranged Marriage, as well as critical raves for her uncredited appearance in Wayne's World 2.

    • Shari Eckert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Last up is Teana Lucas, who appeared here and seems to have been an extra in Baywatch, but IMDB doesn't have one thing other than that. Teana doesn't show much: a breast peaking out of a t-shirt in collages 1 and 2, a pretty cool see-through in #3 and a bum view in a thong in #4. Not a coincidence, me thinks, that the babe who exposes the least is also the least well-known. Being a B-movie babe and keeping the goodies hidden is like playing wide-out and keeping your hands in your pockets, 'less your Randy Moss on two out of three plays.

    • Teana Lucas (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Monica Bellucci
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Amazing nude scans of the Italian super-babe.

    Charlotte Alexandra Topless and gyno-views in scenes from "Une vraie jeune fille", by Dann. Dann adds that this movie was filmed in 1976, but not released until 2000 because it was too controversial.

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    (1, 2, 3)

    Katherine Heigl
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

    A real treat for the Heigl fans by C2000. Tons and tons of cleavage as Heigl strips down to her red bra in scenes from "100 Girls".

    Sophie Favier
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    The French TV actress posing for a mid 80's issue of Lui magazine. Toplessness in links 2,3,6 and 7...bush in links 4,5,6 and 7.

    Britney Spears A very high quality paparazzi pic of the pop princess showing some serious pokies. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Courtney Love The grungey musician turned actress flashing her boobs while hosting "24 Hours of Love" on MTV.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    What A Hoot - Geraldo Rivera was accused of tastelessness Tuesday after he rushed to the scene of the latest sniper shooting in Virginia and was spotted signing autographs and posing for photos with waitresses at the Hooters right next to the crime scene. One Hooters girl even bent over as Geraldo autographed the seat of her shorts. Geraldo issued a statement saying he was just honoring the requests of his "adoring fans." But one Hooters girl said she doesn't like him and just wanted his autograph for her mother.

  • That's okay, he'd sleep with her mother, too.
  • Her mother should be accused of tastelessness.
  • Just be grateful he wasn't autographing the Hooters.
  • Accusing Geraldo of tastelessness is like accusing Sam Donaldson of having a bad toupee...It's his trademark!
  • Why does Geraldo always have to show up after the snipers have left?

    A Bonding Experience - London's Science Museum is hosting an interactive exhibit on the 40th anniversary of 007 movies that will go on a world tour next spring. There are tributes to all the Bond Girls and villains, and props ranging from guns and gadgets to Rosa Klebb's shoes with the knife blades in the toe. Visitors can explore M's office and Q's gadget workshop; relive one of 007's famous fights by hanging off the Golden Gate Bridge; and visit a villain's lair as it explodes.

  • That's the last thing on the tour.
  • Kids can do all that stuff while dads stay in the Interactive Bond Girl exhibit.
  • Women can try to fill out Ursula Andress's bikini top.
  • They even have a wax figure of Roger Moore!...No, wait, that's the real Roger Moore.

    In other bond news... Bond Movies Could Always Use More Pussy - Honor Blackman, who played Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger," opened the 007 exhibit. She said she wishes she'd been recast in later movies as a gadget-creating scientist because her greatest sadness was that she didn't "have much to do with the gizmos."

  • And can you imagine what kind of a gizmo Pussy Galore would've come up with?!
  • She could've invented a pen that, when you touch a secret button, starts to vibrate.
  • Or she could've played Octopussy's mother, Octopussy Galore.

    Or Was That "Creamboat Willie?" - Supermodel Rebecca Romijn-Stamos says she and husband John Stamos first had sex at Disneyland. So every year, they return for a week of sex and get into the mood by watching celebrities in early porn roles, such as Sylvester Stallone in "Party at Kitty & Stud's."

  • And Mickey Mouse in "Steamboat Willie."
  • They have the unrated director's cut of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."
  • I'll bet if she went to Disneyland on "Gay Day," she could convert the whole crowd.
  • Why does John Stamos need Disneyland? Every time he has sex, it's like being in Fantasyland.

    Fruits Vs. Nuts - With the Anaheim Angels and the San Francisco Giants in the World Series, sports writers are wondering if anyone outside California will care enough to watch. When two New York teams faced off in 2000, the ratings were the lowest in 30 years. A spokesman for Fox TV, which paid billions to broadcast baseball, said Americans root for the underdog, and if they "love Cinderella," they've got to root for the Angels.

  • I'd think that most people who "love Cinderella" live in San Francisco.
  • It's hard to get excited over a baseball game when both teams eat tofu hot dogs.
  • Instead of a seventh inning stretch, they'll have a seventh inning yoga class to clear the crowd's chakras.

    Nude snapper says models are stupid and boring
    BERLIN (Reuters) - Photographer Helmut Newton, famed for his portraits of beautiful naked women, said he had met far too many stupid models in his career.

    Newton, 82, has courted controversy with his portrayals of sexual violence, sado-masochism and fetishism.

    But the renown photographer told Germany's Stern magazine on Wednesday that working with beautiful women had often been boring and tiresome.

    "Either they are so dumb that they can only sit there silently staring straight ahead with vacant looks on their faces, or they get on my nerves because they can't stop blabbering," said Newton, an Australian who lives in Berlin.

    "And then there are those who believe they have to talk about important issues," he added. "Those are the worst of all."

    Newton said he had become so bored that he had nothing to add to memoirs which tell the story of his life until 1982.

    "What could I have written about the last 20 years? That I met an awful lot of incredibly boring Hollywood bimbos, that I earn a bit more money now and that I only fly first class," he said. "Not much more has happened."

    Newton opened an exhibition in Berlin two years ago featuring photographs of big-name models in various states of undress and in poses not normally seen on the catwalk.

    Newton was born into a prominent Jewish family in Berlin but fled Nazi Germany in 1938.

    Many critics, including leading feminists, have slammed aspects of his work which depict women bound and gagged or wearing leg irons. But fans call his photographs erotic masterpieces.

    In the Stern interview Newton said he was disliked the word erotic.

    "I hate all the talk about erotic," he said. "Let's talk about sex. Then I know what is meant."