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"Hell up on Harlem" (1973)

Hell up on Harlem (1973) was properly trashed by Scoopy not long ago. A quick summary: bad plot, acting, script, photography and soundtrack, good breast exposure in a well-lit sex scene of Margaret Avery. I would add that a big problem with the film was that the black characters were just not black enough. Things I learned from this film:

Fred Williamson always kills what he shoots at.
Fred Williamson is a frustrated high hurdler.
Any street hood is more trustworthy than your father.
It takes less than 20 seconds to strangle anyone, and if you do it with a scarf it is a professional job.
Bad cops are all Italian.
Cops never kill what they shoot at.
Women are helpless, and prone to cower.

This is seriously bad, and from a genre I normally like. D-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Margaret Avery (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Victoria Abril in Rio Abajo, aka On The Line.  Odd movie. Part serious film. Part grade-b sensationalist melodrama. Although the script is kinda OK, it may have the worst acting of any semi-legitimate film ever. Abril did fine, but her co-star was incredible!

    A new movie called Soulkeeper. The popular combination of breasts-monsters-jokes. The plot is confusing, but some of the one liners were OK. Lots of breasts, women not known to me. These are raw screen-snaps

    Joanne Whalley, formerly Joanne Whalley-Kilmer, in last year's "Breathtaking". Another lady getting more liberal on the nudity standard as she ages. Still waiting for her to marry Ronny Cox so she can become Joanne Whalley-Cox


    Encyclopedia update:

    • there is now a new page for Alex Kingston. Link there through the main members' links (Encyclopedia of Naked Celebrities, K section). 
    • there is now a new page for Victoria Abril. Link there through the main members' links (Encyclopedia of Naked Celebrities, A section)
    • if you like Abril, Tuna also did some spectacular captures from Atame. (An Almodovar film that we gave two very enthusiastic thumbs up!) Link to the Tuna collection from the main members' links.



    in the following, Scoop's comments in white, other people's words in yellow

    Uncle Scoopy,

    I am somewhat of a collector of mispronunciations so I really appreciate your page the last few days.  There are a few that are really bugging me lately:

    1)  "I could care less."  Obviously a bastardization of "I couldn't care less".  Sometimes, being a jerk, I interrupt the person and explain that what they just said means that they really do  care.  By the way, I was really pleased when I spell checked this in AOL and it suggested that I change it to "couldn't  care less" and explained what the phrase means.

    2)  "Supposably" instead of "Supposedly".  Laziness probably, but it instantly makes me mentally put a "dummy stamp" on the person's forehead.

    3)  The use of "sh" instead of "st".  When people want to say "street" and it comes out "shhtreet"  or "shhtrong" instead of "strong".  It makes me stare at their mouth while they are talking to see exactly where that tongue goes during the next "st" word.

    I guess one might add ex-specially to the suppose-ably list! These mistakes are not usually made by educated people, but they are made often, and the times, they are a-changin'.

    How 'bout lugsury and congradulations?

    "Luxury" and "luxurious" present an interesting case in American speech, because they are not commonly pronounced with the same consonants. Webster's Collegiate lists luk-sury as the #1 pronunciation (but lists lug-zhury as #2). On the other hand, it lists lug-zhurious as #1 (and luk-shurious #2) for the longer word "luxurious". So if you speak the most common pattern, you say "luk-sury", but "lug-zhurious". In fact, this is how I pronounce the words, but I never thought of it before looking it up today.

    As for "congratulations", you purists may be unhappy to know that WCD only lists two pronunciations, and you'll probably hate both!  (#1) con-GRACH-ul-ate (#2) con-GRAJ-ul-ate. In American speech the only "t' is at the end. Con-GRA-tyu-ate doesn't make the list. British speakers may take comfort in the fact that con-GRA-tyu-late is still the pronunciation listed by OED

    Two single syllable words that should be no brainers, but people insist on adding an extra syllable to each:

    "owl" is too often pronounced "ow-wul"
    "fire" is usually heard as "fie-yer"

    Of course, in Texas we have a different take on "fire". It's pronounced the same as "far". We think the series "Farscape" is about the stairs you have to use when the elevator doesn't work.

    Scorpion's Skinemax Part 2
    First up in Round Two of last week's late night skin, more goodies from "Nightcap"

  • Brandy Davis, breasts and a little pseudo sex from the episode "Vivid Imagination".

  • Tane McClure, robo-boobs, thong view, and a little fake lovin'.

  • Brandy and Tane, a 3-way love scene with breasts only.

    The rest of today's images are all from "Emmanuelle 2001". I think this is a new Skinemax series.

  • Brandy Miller, just barely showing some breast exposure.

  • Griffin Drew shows her fake breasts, a hint of pubes, and does a little sport humping in these scenes. (1, 2)

  • Holly Sampson...some tame breast exposure. (1, 2)

  • Summer Fields...a little pseudo sex, bare bum views, and a close up of her pierced nipples.

  • Three Unknowns who seem to show the most skin in today's batch. (1, 2, 3)

  • Nicnac
    Danone Camden
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Before appearing on the TV show "Dallas" from 1983-1991, she took her clothes off for the camera a few times. In link #1 she's topless in the movie "The Killer Instinct" (1982). In links 2-4, it's better quality toplessness from a photoshoot.

    Gina Dick More bare breasts in "The Killer Instinct". This Canadian movie is also known as "Baker County, U.S.A.", and stars grade Z mega-star, Henry Silva.

    Daryl Hannah
    (1, 2, 3)

    From one of her first movies, "Summer Lovers" (1982). Here we see a very young Daryl (21-ish) topless, with a little bare bum, and in plenty of excellent bikini 'caps.

    Zora Kerova Fully nude (breast exposure only) in scenes from the Euro-movie "Cannibal ferox" (1981). AKA "Make Them Die Slowly".

    Cathryn de Prume
    (1, 2, 3)

    Nice toplessness in a shower scene from "Deadtime Stories" (1987), by Umpire.

    Marni Thompson Spaz's Paradise Falls report...

    From Episodes 33 & 34, Marni Thompson finally doffs off her clothes but only shows her butt.

    Joanne Whalley
    (1, 2)

    Great 'caps by Watty! Link #1 has dark, but clear images of a topless Joanne in scenes from "Breathtaking" (2000). In link #2 we see her in lingerie.

    Celeb Nudity News
    Thanks to Pat Reeder at the Comedy Wire for sending in this story...

    Naked Mystery Over Kidman Video with British Singer

    LONDON (Reuters) - Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman have filmed a pop video to promote their new single, "Somethin' Stupid," sparking a mystery over whether they keep their clothes on.

    Tabloid newspapers were divided on Tuesday on the details of the top-secret video, filmed behind closed doors at a west London studio, and EMI, which is releasing the video and single next month, is remaining tight-lipped.

    "I can confirm that they finished filming the video at the end of last week," a spokesman for Williams told Reuters on Tuesday. "We are not revealing any details."

    But the tabloids had their own ideas on the content.

    "Robbie Romps Naked With Nicole," screamed the front page headline on the Daily Star.

    "The Hollywood beauty is left wearing just a diamond necklace -- and clutching a diamond purse -- in the steamy promo," the paper reported.

    It said the retro video, set in the 1950s, would "stun the showbiz world."

    The Mirror had a more sedate take on the video. "Nicole wore a mauve lace Collette Dinnigan evening dress with green sequins, flown in from Australia especially for the shoot ... topped off with a 5.5 million pound necklace," it reported.

    "Not to be outdone, Robbie wore an 18-carat gold Mouawad Roberge M31 watch, decorated with white diamonds."

    Whether naked or clad in expensive clothes, the truth will remain a mystery until the release in November.

    From Sky news
    Anna's 007 Love Match

    Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova has been tipped to become the new Bond girl.

    The 20-year-old is expected to star alongside Pierce Brosnan in Bond 20, the working title for the latest 007 movie.

    Anna has already hit the silver screen, appearing in a cameo role in the Jim Carrey movie Me Myself and Irene.


    Film critics loved her debut role as a motel manageress, describing her as a natural.

    A source close to the player told the Daily Express she was keen to take on more acting roles and a Bond film would be an "amazing opportunity for her".

    But not everyone thinks Kournikova is cut out for the acting world.

    Casting court

    Fellow Russian tennis player Nathalie Tauziat once ironically said of Anna: "What do you think tennis is - a casting ground for the next James Bond movie?"

    Anna, who has never won a major tennis tournament, is unlikely to be deterred by her comments. She said: "I've always loved the movies, it's something that's fascinated me since I was a little kid."

    If she is cast in the role, she will join the ranks of Ursula Andress, Honor Blackman, Teri Hatcher and Denise Richards as a Bond girl.

    Jr's 2 cents....

    Granted, we all know that Anna K is hot. But seriously...I just watched "Me, Myself, and Irene" last night, and as an actress, she's a helluva tennis player. I'd like to know which critic thinks of her as an acting natural. My's the movie guy at High Times, and he's writing his review just as the clock hits 4:20.

    The past few Bond movies have had really good actors...and the movies have still sucked. Hopefully this is just a silly rumour, because after "T.W.I.N.E", I don't think the Bond franchise should try to get away with poor performances from overpriced Tennis babes. Seriously guys, spend the money on writing a better script next time.

    So listen up studio people... if you must hire Anna K, please limit her to the following: either "Greetings, Mr. Bond" or "Right this way, Mr. Bond".

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • The following is a short list of things you can do when your wife has dragged you to Wal-Mart.

    In the auto department practice your Madonna-look using different size funnels.

    Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

    Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the restrooms.

    Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone," I think we have a code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.

    Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all on and turn the volume to 10.

    Challenge other customers to duel with tubes of gift-wrap.

    Put M&M's on layaway.

    Move "CAUTION WET FLOOR" signs to carpet areas.

    Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

    When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why won't you people leave me alone?".

    Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.

    Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.

    Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes and X-Men.

    Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.

    Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!".

    When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

    Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out much and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.

    Go into the fitting room and yell real loud..."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!".

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