|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
This may be the biggest money loser of the year,
with a rumored production cost of $138 million, and about $30 million in
There is no nudity, but Ms. Biel has just been chosen by
Esquire as the sexiest person on earth, so I guess we have to go with a
nice bikini scene. She is seen here with that Sweet Home Alabama guy who
was obviously created from Matthew McConaughey's DNA. You know those two
guys eventually have to play brothers.
I don't know if Biel is the
sexiest woman on the planet, but she has a tremendous natural shape
enhanced by what is obviously a vigorous work-out routine. Or, to word it
less delicately, big boobs, tight butt. Physical fitness is definitely sexy
in my book!
Secrets of a Call Girl (1973)
Edwige Fenech stars as a naīve shop
clerk in Bergamo who falls for a Milanese mobster laying low near her
café. He soon forces her deep into his life, making her carry drugs
across the border and use her sex appeal to compromise rival criminals
and others. She does eventually escape from the thug with the
assistance of a compassionate doctor, but the mobster tracks her down
and wants revenge, so she is forced into a showdown to the death.
It's a classic 1970s Italian grade-B
pulp film, part crime saga, part soulful chick-flick. It does offer
some guilty pleasures along the way:
1) Richard Conte stars as a mobster
named ... (wait for it) ... Don Barzini! (Same character Conte played
in The Godfather.) I don't know if the mobster was originally named
Barzini when this film hit the streets. There are no closing credits
on the widescreen DVD print. This film came out while The Godfather
was the hottest ticket on the planet, so it's my guess that the
Barzini name was cobbled in to make Secrets of a Call Girl seem like
some kind of sequel to the Coppola classic.
2) There is a lush, romantic orchestral
score by Luciano Michelini. I've spun that in the most positive way. A
less enthusiastic summary would be "an evocative piece of 70s
nostalgia," and the negative spin would be "hilariously insipid,
corny, and repetitive music, frequently descending all the way to
mawkish." I didn't enjoy it in an absolute sense, but I loved the
nostalgic value of it.
3) The cinematography is actually quite
impressive. It was originally filmed in a 2.35:1 aspect ratio, which
was never convenient for home viewing before DVD. NoShame films has
taken the original 35mm reversal print, digitally re-mastered it, and
produced it in an uncut transfer. Unfortunately, they did not have as
much success with this one as they did with some others (like The
Sensuous Nurse and Devil in the Flesh, which look brand new). NoShame
did clean up Secrets of a Call Girl, but it looks dark, lacks
vibrancy, and is sometimes blurry. It's not bad, mind you, just not as
good as some of NoShame's best work. Their other films demonstrate
that they are excellent at restoration, so they must have done the
best they could with mediocre source material.
4) Edwige Fenech's breasts make several
appearances throughout the film.
Apart from those elements, it is a
cheesy melodrama aspiring to be a tragedy. The quality is no better
than a 90 minutes of a crime show from any typical American TV show in
the same era. The pacing and editing are problematic. The early part of the film
is paced so slowly that several minutes of screen time are dedicated
to watching a car speed through Milan (The driver is transporting a
critically injured mobster, thus providing a justification for a car
chase with only one car. Very economical!). The middle of the film
includes dialogue and action that had me laughing out loud (it wasn't
supposed to be funny). Then the tragic final act of the
film is paced so rapidly that ten years elapse unexpectedly. Edwige is
young, then she's giving birth, then the child is six years old - and
all those transitions occur in jarring, confusing fashion.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
We continue on with more great nudity from "The Godson", they really knew how to make movies in the 70's!
First up Maria Aronoff returns, topless only as she holds a towel over the fuzz box. The poor girl winds up with a bullet in the head....who knows, she may have lived had she dropped the towel.
Next is the always fabulous Uschi Digard and she gives it all up and you can play the "Spot the Tool" game with her caps. Then she is joined by Deborah McGuire as the two ladies take on one man.
Then we have Casey Lorrain naked but trying to wrap herself in a big bath towel as this "Damsel in Distress" is menaced by Rocco the bad guy.
Back tomorrow with one last shot from "The Godson".
Today from the Ghost....Heather Graham showing off her wonderful chest (and also giving up some brief pube views) as she gets it on with Shakespeare in several scenes from "Killing Me Softly".
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Chastity (1969) was written by Sonny Bono and is a load of self-indulgent tripe. It stars his then wife Cher. There's a bare breast and bum of a woman that is supposed to be Cher, but it is almost certainly a body double.
The topless nudity in Donnie Brasco (1997) comes from some unidentified party girls. Anne Heche keeps her clothes on but shows a bit of sex appeal.
Taylor Render is briefly topless in Watch It (1993), although the quality is not very good as you're looking at it via a television. A bit of sex appeal by Jordana Capra and Terri Hawkes.
The nudity in The Associate is by some topless dancers and waitresses. Bebe Neuwirth shows a bit of sex appeal in her thong and underwear.
"All About My Mother"
All About My Mother aka Todo sobre mi madre (1999) is a Spanish film. Antonia San Juan, who plays a prostitute, is briefly topless and Candela Peņa is down to her skimpy underwear.
Antonia San Juan
Plenty of naked and sexy ladies in 48 Hrs (1982), the Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte comedy. In the naked stakes we have Greta Blackburn and Denise Crosby. On the sexy side we have Annette O'Toole, Margot Rose, Olivia M Brown and Suzanne M Regard.
Olivia M Brown
Suzanne M Regard
The latest batch of from DeadLamb featuring some of the recent Prime Time Skin highlights.
|Charlize Theron, not much showing, but she looked great during her recent appearance on The Tonight Show.
|"Pirates of the Caribbean" star Keira Knightley also looking pretty darn good while visiting Leno.
|Former daytime soap actress and co-star of "The Drew Carey Show" Cynthia Watros joined the cast of "Lost" this season and showed some partial breast views in her debut.
|The ladies of "Las Vegas" are up to their usual scantilly clad antics. This batch also features some excellent cleavage from a couple of very well built guest stars.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
"McMillian told investigators he was afraid to go back to jail and
was convinced he could outrun officers because of all the video
games he played."
Roman Polanski says he just wants to make children happy, and
that's the only reason he has purchased those 11,000 boxes of Girl
How's this for a day to remember: Texas Tech's Cody Hodges passes
for 643 yards against a 4-1 team! Hodges could have gone over
700, but his back-up played the last two possessions! Next week,
undefeated Tech will go to Austin to play against undefeated UT,
which manhandled #24 Colorado this week.
West Virginia, down 17-0 at halftime, came back to win in triple
overtime against #19 Louisville.
USC kept the streak alive on a last second miracle when officials
put time back on an expired game clock.
A second trailer for Derailed, the thriller with Jennifer
Aniston and Clive Owen.
Daily Box Office - Friday, October 14, 2005
- The Fog and Elizabethtown were in a virtual dead heat for the
#1 spot. No film had any numbers to write home about.
This week's movies: (previously unreviewed)
The Fog - 11% positive reviews. Now we see why they hid it from
the critics. It is actually running worse than Domino (13%) in what
may be the worst week ever, joining Elizabethtown 31%, and Where the
Truth Lies 33% ... and three of those four from established
Troubles at Getty Ripple Through Art World ... "A plot fit for a
Hollywood thriller has been unfolding at the venerable J. Paul Getty
Museum, a gleaming hilltop refuge that Italian authorities claim
houses pilfered art. "
The 'stros went up by one cuz the old feller had just enough to win.
Floor Action at The Adult Video Expo 2005
JibJab's latest spoof video - Big Box Mart
Send in the standardized clowns. Having nothing better to worry
the European parliament is set to vote on a report calling for
standardised rules for circuses. Those damned Irish clowns were
just too much competition for the German clowns.
Godwin's law also applies to Virginia Governor's race.
Jessica Alba defends herself in Bahama, punches a shark. That
picture of her in the white dress is inspirational, assuming it
involves no p-shop, and no pixels were killed in the making of it.
I didn't make this up, and it is not a satire site. It is a
genuine Reuters story.
U.S. forces capture al-Qaida's barber.
- Oh, sure, he isn't that high up on their command pyramid now,
but he's being groomed for better things.
- Current prisoner scoreboard: Mullahs: 0, Mullets: 1
- He almost escaped, but they just barely held on to him. Whew.
That was a close shave.
The Man Show Kid goes to the beach.
There is now an official site for X-Men 3
The latest from Kevin Smith's diary - Clerks 2
We came, we dressed up in prom dresses, we played rugby. And it was
"The people have spoke, the bastards."
Waiting... is rated a near-classic 7.1 at IMDb, and about half
of all voters have given it a ten, despite some unpleasant critical
- One IMDB commenter wrote, "Waiting is so much like the service
industry...it should be a documentary." The only critic who really
got it was the guy at the
San Francisco Chronicle, who basically said that if you like
Office Space and/or Clerks, this movie is definitely going to
amuse you. He wrote, "-- Advisory: This film contains profanity,
crude humor, allusions to sex with minors, alcohol use, drug use
and frontal nudity. As totally funny as the movie is, Waiting
should be avoided by anyone who eats at Applebee's more than once
a week. Particularly if you like to order the mashed potatoes."
Soldiers of the Great War Multi-media look at WW2
Tiffany Teen's strip poker
Software Makers Supply Tools to Censor Web in Repressive Regimes
|A quick site note
Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!