"Sappho '68"

Sappho '68 (1968) is an early tittie flick/shocking expose of lesbianism. Five then unknown actresses show skin, including full frontal from three of them. One of the women didn't remain unknown, but grew up to be Uschi Digard. This is the earliest film I have seen of her, and her breasts are just large here, but not yet enormous. She is a photographer who has never had a boyfriend. She hires a lesbian model to pose, and the two end up lovers. They go out to a lesbian nightclub, and watch two topless, then naked women box. Then we are treated to the model's former lover being bored by a naked performer. Finally, the jilted lover gets even with Uschi and the model.

There is no dialogue. Everything is narrated. Most of the footage has excellent image quality, but there are a few very rough areas, probably mastered from a different print than most of the film. Uschi shows breasts, buns, and a wisp of pubic hair seen from the back. The model shows breasts and buns. The other unknown women show everything. This is a curiosity, and a source for early Uschi nudity, and little else. Fans of Uschi will want to rent it, but it not good erotica. D.

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  • Boxers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Unknown 1 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
  • Unknown 2 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
  • Uschi Digard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)

    "The Boys from Brazil"

    The Boys from Brazil (1978) is one of those classic great movies that I had somehow never seen. In case there is someone else who doesn't know about this film, a group of Nazis who have cloned Adolf, and had them adopted into the same sort of family that Hittler had.It is now time to kill the adopted fathers, just as Hittler's own father had died when he was young. A noted Nazi hunter is out to stop him.

    We see breasts from Linda Hayden, who is in bed with one of the fathers when he is hit. An unknown Hispanic woman shows breasts sweeping a front porch. IMDB readers have this at $6.7 of 10. It received many award nominations including three Oscars. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 80% positive. Gregory Peck was convincing as doctor Mengele, and Laurence Olivier was great as the Nazi hunter. I found it a very fast watch. C+

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  • Kinda Hayden (1, 2, 3, 4)
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  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Matrix Retarloaded (2003):

    Given an almost unprecedented level of expectations, many people were disappointed with this film. I watched it with my wife and we both liked it, but with reservations. Here is a quick summary of our reactions:


    1. It suffers from "middle chapter" syndrome, and unlike most other middle chapter movies, it is not a self-contained film. It is merely there to provide the transition between #1 and #3.

    • It begins at a point which would be completely incomprehensible if you missed #1. In fact, if you have not seen the first, either do so or skip this one, because you won't have any idea what's going on. Hell, it isn't that simple even if you HAVE seen #1.
    • It ends on a cliffhanger, like one of those old-time serials, which many people found irritating.

    2. The fight scenes are

    • repetitious - same old stuff over and over again,
    • predictable - we know Neo always wins
    • illogical - Neo seems to be barely holding his own for a while, until he goes into Superman mode, so we wondered why he wasted his time. Why not just do the Superman thing right away?).

    Elya dissented partially on this one. She liked the fight scene with Morpheus on top of the moving truck in freeway traffic, because there was some tension - always the chance that Morpheus would lose.

    3. The dancing scene goes on too long.


    1. Very intricate and challenging philosophical issues. Are the prophecies just another construct of the Matrix? Is it possible that "The One" himself is just part of the program - like some kind of a steam valve to control the small percentage of humans who will reject the Matrix? Is Neo really the sixth "One", or is it a lie made up by the machines to throw him off their scent? What is the deal with Agent Smith?

    2. Imaginative concepts matched to imaginative visuals.

    The Matrix Reloaded was a monster hit which grossed more than $700 million worldwide. I really liked it when they weren't fighting.




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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
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    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Amy Smart, uber-cutie. Topless. In skimpy little panties. Straddling her date. Must be "Road Trip".

    Love this scene. Reminds me of when I was in college and a girl who looked just like Amy Smart.... yes she did... got all friendly and stuff and stripped out of her clothes in my room and then spotted my digital it was 1983, but I was way ahead of the curve on these technology things... and asked if we could film ourselves doing the deed because she wanted me to have a copy. Yep. That's why I like this scene so much. And as the Great Kreskin says at the end of Plan 9 From Outer Space, can you prove it didn't happen? Well, I do suppose what happened in Plan 9 is a tad more believable.

    • Amy Smart (1, 2, 3, 4)

    So for today's paparazzi pics, we have the gift that keeps on giving, Mariah Carey in a dress or a bib or something that lets the puppies almost all the way out to play.

  • Mariah Carey

    And a few older things, some domestic, some imported.

  • Scorpion's Skinemax
    Ashlie Rhey

    Monique Parent
    (1, 2, 3)

    Parent and Rhey
    (1, 2)

    Ashlie Rhey and Monique parent show off pretty much every single inch of skin, and even do a mild girl/girl scene in 'caps from an older Skinemax series "American Sweethearts".

    Shannon Whirry The busty-babe bares all 3 B's in scenes from "Lady In Waiting" aka "Hollywood Madam" (1994).

    Jewel Very censored, but here is the pop singer flashing a boob on the MTV show TRL. Here's what I know about these....Jewel and her boyfriend stopped by the show a while back. Instead of just posing for snapshots in the TRL photo booth, they decided to make out, aparently not knowing that MTV had a video camera in the booth.

    Heidi Klum The über-model showing off an 8 million dollar bra on Leno.

    Jodie Foster
    (1, 2)

    Baring all in scenes from her Oscar nominated performance from the 1994 movie "Nell".

    Amanda Swisten
    Nikki Ziering

    Deep Haze 'caps of the two babes topless in scenes from the final "Pie" movie, "American Wedding".

    Nikki Cox Showing off her usual cleavage in scenes from Monday night's episode of "Las Vegas".

    Marisa Ryan
    (1, 2, 3)

    Molly Gross
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps from the lo-budget flick, "Slaves to the Underground" (1997). Both ladies are topless, Gross bares her bum, and the two get it on lesbo-style. You may remember Marissa from her days on "Major Dad".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Needs Cheese Sauce! - Last month, the State Fair of Texas introduced the deep-fried Oreo. Not to be outdone, Arizona State Fair vendors are offering the fried cheeseburger - ground beef on a stick, wrapped in cheese, dipped in batter and deep fried - and the Kaktus Kutter - a green chili stuffed with pepper cheese, wrapped in roast beef, turkey or ham, batter-dipped and deep-fried.

  • If you're on a diet, order the turkey one.
  • It's good for you! The chili is filled with antioxidants!
  • Of course, the batter is made from ground-up Oreos.

    I Love Lunacy - Jessica Simpson's dad Joe Simpson told TV Guide that his daughter isn't really as incredibly dumb as she appears on MTV's "The Newlyweds." He claims that since she knows the cameras are on, she "unintentionally exaggerates" the dumb blonde aspect of her personality. He compared her comedic talent to Lucille Ball's.

  • Asked to comment, Jessica wanted to know if Lucille Ball was some kind of sport.
  • No, she's more like Gracie Allen, only Gracie's stupidity was intentional.
  • I'll bet she used to change all the F's on her report cards into A's, and he probably believed it and signed them.

    Anything Interesting Happen While I Was In Here? - A starving David Blaine is just days away from being released from his plastic box in London, where he's been locked away with only water for over a month. He says what he most wants is to bathe and brush his teeth because his own stink is making him nauseous.

  • I think we're all a little nauseous, David...
  • I know how he feels: I lived in a men's dorm in college.
  • He's only been in London for a month, and his teeth are starting to look British.
  • On the bright side, the smell ruins his appetite!
  • He's one magician who'll never be eaten by a tiger, because he smells rancid and there's no meat on him.