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Tuna

"Bound"

Bound (1996) is another of those projects that I did early on, and was in serious need of a redo. In case anyone doesn't remember, Jennifer Tilly is an ex nightclub employee unhappily married to a Mafia flunky. Gina Gershon was just released from prison after doing a nickle for armed robbery. She has been given a job renovating an apartment in the building where Tilly lives. From the moment Tilly spots her, she is in lust. Gershon, for her part, is openly gay.

The two become lovers, then plot to steal a lot of mob money from Tilly's husband. The film has a definite Tarrentino feel to it, with over the top violence, and strong language, but it all fits. What impressed me most, however, was the sex scene between Tilly and Gershon. Even though there is only brief breast exposure, the scene sizzles, and both actresses are excellent. I would love to know if there is additional footage laying around somewhere.

IMDB readers have this at 7.5 of 10, but US gross was only $3.8M against a $4.5M budget. It won several festival awards. Ebert, 4 stars, Berardinelli 3 1/2, and 84% positive at Rotten Tomatoes, with 100% from the top critics. I have no way to explain the disappointing box office, as this film is a total treat. B-.

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  • Gina Gershon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Jennifer Tilly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    "The Private Gladiator"

    The Private Gladiator (2002). I have totally departed from my usual style for this project, and the point of doing it is really the review, not the images. This film is a very welcome development, in that it is a new hard core with high production values, and a story. It was inspired by the movie Gladiator, although the director says it is really more like Sparticus. You will find larger and more decorative thumbs than usual, which are all most of you will want to view (if you don't want to see pickle and beaver, avoid even the thumbs), although I included the best 100 frames with no enhancements for those who want them. The film was directed by an Italian, and starred mainly Eastern European women who are first timers, and many of them used just a first name in the credits. Because they are unknowns, I felt it more useful to give a larger image and not bother with IDs and my usual top montages.I will levy many criticisms later, but let me say that I applaud this effort to bring back quality hard core with a real story. It makes sense that it is not economically feasible to make such a film in the US. They have included several dubbed languages (like many Italian films, it is all dubbed), and subtitles for even more, clearly expecting this one version to sell world wide, so anyone who can play NTSC format can watch this film.

    What has just been released is part one of a trilogy, and it runs 120 minutes. The special edition release includes a deluxe book type case, a several page booklet, and a second DVD full of special features, including an interview with the director. It starts with our hero defeating the Germans, and being promised by the Emperor that he will take the thrown over the Emperor's worthless son. The son learns of this, and kills his father, usurping the thrown, and imprisons our hero, who is eventually released to become a gladiator. The costumes and sets look big budget, and, other than being soft focus at times, the photography was very good. Many of the women appear to be all natural, possibly all of them.

    This is not the perfect hard core, however. First, the overall time spent on sex was too high a percentage of the running time for the story to have much weight. Second, every sexual interlude had the same script:

    1) Breast Play
    2) Cunnilingus
    3) Fellatio
    4) Vaginal sex in several positions
    5) Anal sex
    6) Double penetration
    7) Facial

    The girl/girl scenes are too few, and not very good. The actresses look directly into the camera way too frequently, probably taking direction. Lastly, the dubbing left a lot to be desired, especially the moans and groans, which didn't even attempt to follow the action. Despite all of these problems, I am glad I bought it, and will buy the other two to support what they are doing. Lets hope this is the first of many such attempts to create quality hard core films. This is clearly a C+, and can stand with the films of the classic era.

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  • A whole mess of nekkid babes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies:

    Strange Days is a terrific SF film, written and edited by James Cameron. Only one question I've always had about this movie. Why did it decide to locate the future world in 1999? (It was made in 1995). I know they wanted to use the millennium turnover, but 1999 is now in the past - yet is shown here with futuristic technology which is years from fruition. Anyway, ignore that, because it is a frenzied, tense, literate movie with a solid cast.

    • Juliette Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

     

    Updates:

    The following new volumes were added to the Encyclopedia: Keeley Hawes, Courtney Love, Juliette Lewis, Charlotte Lewis, Catherine McCormack, Jillian McWhirter, Valerie Perrine, Vanity, Mary Woronow.

     

    Hey, Scoop:

    Hey Scoop, Stockard Channing did a brief nude scene - buns and the side of one breast - in the mid '70s flick "Sweet Revenge." It is her only nude scene. Does anyone have any shots of this?

    I'd like to see that myself. Sweet Revenge has been out-of-print for as long as I can remember, and I'd love to have a copy. If anybody out there can tell me where to get a copy, I'll buy one. If anybody already has the caps - well, let's see 'em.

    Scoop,

    Saw "L'Idole" at the Toronto Film Festival.  It's a decent character study, but, as is often true of French films, moves slowly.  Those expecting a lot of nudity from Leelee Sobieski will be disappointed.  There are a few shots from behind and three-quarters,  but nothing below the waist.  I believe there's a side shot of her breasts in very dark lighting.  Yes, she disrobed in front of James Hong, but we don't see what he sees. If you're interested, I wrote something about it here:     http://movie-reviews.colossus.net/tiff2002/tiff2002_3.html

    - James Berardinelli

    Many thanks.

     

    Other crap:

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    SnowBlind
    The 'capper from the Great White North takes a look at the movie "Soul Survivors".
    • Angela Featherstone, best known from "The Wedding Singer" and "Con Air", baring a single breast. (1, 2)

    • Eliza Dushku, lots of cleavage. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Eliza Dushku and Angela_Featherstone, serious lesbian makin' out, then Featherstone gets topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Melissa Sagemiller, pokies in #1 and a very odd rear view in #2. (1, 2)

    • Eliza Dushku and Melissa Sagemiller, taking a shower together, but unfortunately clothed. (1, 2)
    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    A "Babe in Bondage" day as we look at Raquel Meroņo in her sacrifice scene from "Dagon". Caution advised here as these are pretty bloody scenes.

    Variety
    Monica Bellucci The Italian mega-babe nude with some always lovely breast exposure in scenes from "Brotherhood of the Wolf". Great 'caps by DeadLamb.

    Claudia Black The tough and sexy star of "Farscape" looking very hot in a bikini from the season 4 premiere episode.

    Heidi Klum A desktop sized tribute collage by ZonononZor.

    Rachel Blakely Someone was asleep at the censor wheel when this episode of the syndicated series "The Lost World" aired. The Aussie model turned actress exposes just a hint of nipple.

    Florentine Lahme Primal 'caps of the German actress in scenes from "Der Pfundskerl - In bester Gesellschaft,".

    Jennifer Tetreault
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Tara Spencer-Nairn
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)


    		A few 'caps from Señor Skin from the straight-to-vid flick, "Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled". Both ladies show plenty of nicely lit breast exposure, and Tetreault also shows some thong views in links 9-12.


    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NOT-MUCH-ACCLAIM FOR XXX VIDEO GAME
    Oh, Behave! - The Acclaim video game company is releasing the first game to feature full-action nudity, and prostitutes and pimps as major characters. "BMX XXX" also features racing bike stunts and pink poodles copulating. They claim it's an "Austin Powers" style spoof and use the tag line, "We're going to hell for this, and you're all coming with us." But not everyone is: Wal-Mart, Toys R Us and KB Toys all announced that they will not carry it, which will severely limit its exposure.

  • That's okay, it'll have no trouble exposing itself.
  • The only way this is like "Austin Powers" is that the pimps have bad teeth.
  • They put in the racing bikes so there'd be something for the adolescent boys.
  • The object of the game is to get all the way through it without having your eyeballs pop out of your head.


    LESBIAN SEX ON TV SPARKS COMPLAINTS
    Tails Of The City - The BBC aired the first part of a new Victorian series called "Tipping the Velvet" that included some of the most explicit lesbian sex scenes ever shown on broadcast TV. They braced for complaints, but got only a handful of angry calls. And they said that many were from viewers complaining that the lesbian sex scenes weren't explicit enough.

  • But why should they listen to Rosie O'Donnell?
  • It was like a lesbian "Upstairs, Downstairs," only with too much upstairs and not enough downstairs.
  • It was the first BBC Victorian novel adaptation to draw a 100 percent male audience.


    BARBRA STIFFS HER WAITER James Left Them A Muffler Coupon - The National Enquirer tabloid reports that Barbra Streisand dined with husband James Brolin at Arnie Morton's restaurant in Beverly Hills. When the $180 check arrived, she whipped out a $100 discount coupon, then pulled out a calculator to figure a 15 percent tip only on the remaining $80 she had to pay. The multi-millionaire who claims so much compassion for the working man left her waiters a $12 tip.

  • And believe me: they'd earned FAR more!
  • Unbelievable...Morton's has DISCOUNT COUPONS?!
  • That's okay: the waiters considered it reward enough just to meet Barbra, wait on her, and spit in her food.
  • Then again, she also claims to be brilliant, and she needed a calculator to figure 15 percent of $80.
  • This is why she's just a strong believer in government programs like food stamps: so her servants won't starve.


    MADONNA'S MOVIE CAREER "SWEPT AWAY"
    Another Bad Cartoon - Madonna's "Swept Away" is such a bomb, it made just $375,000 in its opening weekend, the second-worst debut by a major studio film in a decade (the 1995 cartoon "Arabian Knight" made $320,000). Industry analysts say the dismal box office and vicious reviews may end Madonna's hopes of getting lead roles in any future movies. The New York Daily News critic gave it an unprecedented "Zero Stars" and said that not even Tom Hanks, who was stuck on an island with a volleyball in "Castaway," had a more daunting challenge than Madonna's leading man.

  • At least Wilson the volleyball had one human facial expression.
  • They both had heads full of air, but at least you can stick a needle in a volleyball and deflate it.
  • Tom Hanks had the advantage of being in a Tom Hanks movie.
  • The studio was so desperate for a good review to quote, they made the ad read, "The Madonna Movie to End All Madonna Movies!"


    SUPERMODEL LOSES LAWSUIT, OWES BIG BUCKS
    De-Posed - Tempestuous supermodel Naomi Campbell is facing a legal bill of over $1 million after Britain's High Court reversed her invasion of privacy win against the Mirror newspaper, ruling that their story about her attending Narcotics Anonymous was newsworthy.

  • How can something that everyone already knows be newsworthy?
  • Now, she says the justices were all on drugs.
  • When you stand in front of cameras for a living, it's hard to claim your privacy is being violated.

    • Mail Bag Requests
    Hey Scoops,

    Did anyone get caps from last weekends SNL episode? She did an incredibly slutty rendition of Christina Aguilera's Dirty video. She also was showing some pokies in her lavender sweater shortly after!