Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. Large update this week.

Bodies (TV Series - BBC3)

Here is Neve McIntosh in the latest episode of the BBC-3 medical drama.

Where the Truth Lies (2005)

Atom Egoyan's new film, which many are calling the worst of his career. (And he did some mighty poor films in the pre-Exotica days.) At any rate, the key item for us here is Alison Lohman's breast, as seen in the trailer. Here's a clip. The collage follows below:

The work above was done by someone else. I just assembled the pics in a frame. For me, it was French day today, with two controversial releases: an ugly, explicit splatter film and an ugly explicit sex/morality melodrama. I'll write more about these as I have time.


Haute Tension (2004)


This film is the French equivalent of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Here's Maiwinn LeBesco

Here's a bonus from Charlie. Maiwinn's only other cinema nudity. A tiny flash of nipple in "I Am an Actrice"



Ma Mere (2003)

Controversial French melodrama about that whole wacky Mother/Son Oedipal thing.

Emma de Caunes

Joanna Preis

Isabelle Huppert

Crimson Ghost

Captures and comments from the Ghost.
Nicole LeShelle from "Hotel Erotica."
Teanna Kai from "Hotel Erotica."


Zipped .avis, caps, and comments by ICMS Hello!

I thought it might be interesting to have a look at the actresses who shed their clothes in Peter Greeanway's "8 ˝ Women" (1999). Peter's films are definitely an acquired taste but always visually stunning and mostly with lots of female nudity. Hence him being a regular guest in the Fun House.

  • First Amanda Plummer gets nekkid in two clips. (1, 2)
  • Annie Shizuka Inoh and Kirina Mano can also be seen in various states of undress.

The rest of the nude actresses, Toni Collette, Polly Walker and Natacha Amal, will be performing their acts tomorrow on the Fun House.


'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we take the old Time Machine back to 1971 and a visit with "The Godson". This one is a classic from the glory days of soft porn on this wonderful "Something Weird" DVD that was very nicely restored.
We kick it off with Maria Aronoff & Orita De Chadwick topless.  
Then Orita goes solo, she gives us all 3 b's gettting her nipples twisted before getting laid by one of the mafia henchmen.
Then soft core legend Uschi Digard soaps up her massive hooters before having them played with by one of the bad guys.  
We wrap up today with a couple of caps of all 3 ladies being examined by those evil guys.  
Now folks I get dizzy capping so much of this gratuitous nudity ( that's a good thing ) so I will be back tomorrow with more from this movie.

Herr Haut

A young Kerry Fox in An Angel at My Table.  
Carolina Gwynning in Happily Ever After


In honor of the cancellation of Real Life, a tribute to Nicole Richie
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap

Is Google looking to buy part of AOL? God only knows why. Presumably to get access to Time-Warner's content.

Princess Bride to become a Broadway musical

MIT engineering wizards duplicate the Archimedes death ray.

Oswalt and Lidge outduel Mulder, even the series.

The original shooting script of The Prophecy

The Smoking Gun - The Harriet And George Letters

Strange Concept - Beyonce singing - a Betty Boop cartoon is the video.

Conan announces the cast of the new Harriet Miers "made for TV" movie

The trailer and four clips from The Dying Gaul

  • Based on the play of the same name, "The Dying Gaul" is a tale of lust, power, corruption, betrayal and revenge set in the seductive world of the Hollywood elite, as a screenwriter (Campbell Scott) gets involved in a three-way relationship with a woman and her film executive husband to chilling results.

Five clips from Just Friends

  • "The romantic comedy 'Just Friends' stars Ryan Reynolds as a former high school geek turned trendy Los Angeles music executive. When he gets stranded in his New Jersey home town due to bad weather with a superstar singer he is trying to sign, he finds himself reunited with his high school crush and discovers she is his true love."

For those of you with nothing to do with your time, go Behind the Scenes at 'Yours, Mine & Ours'


2005 NFL Cheerleader Tour - Day 23: Seattle Seahawks

We are deep into the home stretch of the 2005 tour. We make our last trip out west with a stop in Seattle. As I look at the web site of the Seattle Sea-Gals, it reminds me of a few other stops on the tour -San Francisco and San Diego. Those two areas are noted as wired communities, but had poor web sites. Well, Seattle is noted as a great technology community, and the Sea-Gals HAVE the web site to back it up.

Their web site isn't the best we have seen, but a lot of the extras are there. History photos, audition photos, community appearances, wallpapers, news updates, two days of calendar photos and videos, plus video clips of the girls as part of their bios. Fantastic! My only quibble about the site is the fact that the navigation could be tweaked a bit for easier use.

The heart of the matter is always the members of the squad. The Sea-Galsremind me of a great team. There are really no superstars, but about ten really good players. Amie is probably the star, followed by Anna, Gena, Lindsay, Kylee and Sequoia, to name a few.

Seattle is a nice surprise. The Sea-Gal's have been coming on lately, and have made some big strides in the last two seasons. This is definitely a team on the rise. Look for them to continue to make some noise in 2006.

Rating 8.0 out of 10.

Navy middies pull off daring prank at Air Force Academy

"Eva Longoria is confusing me," says the article ... but she looks mighty good in that bikini!

More Cheerleading Movers and Shakers from Sports Illustrated

55 pictures of Soccer Wives and Girlfriends

List of Major League Baseball free agents at the end of this year, including pretty much the entire Padres roster. Reggie Sanders is on the list, and he is now putting on a pretty good advertising campaign for his next contract.

"Brian Billick, head coach of the Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens, appeared as a contestant on Match Game PM taped on October 16th, 1977" (And scored zero)

So, You Want to Be a Beer Vendor - How concessionaires make a living.

"Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated in connection with a lake cruise that turned into a wild sex party"

Apple unveils video iPod

New Batman vs old Batman? A rumor is circulating that Michael Keaton will play the Joker in the next installment. And, to tell you the truth, he would be damned good at it. The forum beneath this item reflects the ongoing fanboy debate over other possibilities.

"Katie Holmes is dropping out of the Dennis Quaid drama Shame On You to concentrate on her pregnancy"

"Top Ten Thoughts Going Through George W. Bush's Mind At This Moment" (Refers to picture of Bush nailing something with a hammer)

The new Bond, Daniel Craig. I linked to this picture for a reason. I noticed this morning that Daniel Craig's bio says he is six feet tall, then I saw this picture of him and Tom Hanks, who is 6'1". Here is another picture of him next to Hanks - in which he appears even shorter! So what is his correct height?

So I'll lock in my guess at five ten and a half. I guess "six feet" is not a very big lie. Nowhere near enough to put him in Christian Slater territory.

Why Intelligent Design Is Going to Win over Evolution. So Darwinism will lose because it is not fit enough to survive? Now THAT's ironic.

Pixar Theater - Toy Story 2 "Outtakes"

The first eight minutes of Strong Enough to Break, a documentary ... about Hanson.

  • "An amazing look at an industry that likes to eat its young and three plucky lads who didn't want to be anybody's lunch. "

Tommy Lee gets burned in Wyoming. No, really. I don't mean he paid too much for a muffler or something. He got burned literally. By fireworks.

Women admire a 102 inch vegetable, if you know what I mean.

The trailer from Nine Lives (2005)

  • "Nine Lives" is a moving exploration of the individual experiences of nine women as told through nine single unbroken takes. As characters from one story reappear in supporting roles in others, Rodrigo Garcia interweaves a grand tapestry of universal resonance that hinges on performances from an incredible ensemble. By depicting nine different characters at emotional crossroads, "Nine Lives" examines how we so often find ourselves captive in relationships, both past and present. Sandra (Elpida Carrillo), is literally in prison and wants desperately to connect with her visiting child. Diana (Robin Wright Penn) confronts the sudden flash of a past relationship long after she has moved on to a new life. Holly (Lisa Gay Hamilton) can’t seem to move forward until her stepfather acknowledges the pain he has caused her. Sonia (Holly Hunter) reels from her boyfriend's disclosure of an intimate secret to their closest friends. Teenager Samantha (Amanda Seyfreid) is caught in a static loop as the peacemaker between her parents. Lorna (Amy Brenneman) attempts to comfort her ex-husband after his wife's suicide and finds herself implicated in the tragic death. Ruth (Sissy Spacek) considers straying from married life during a motel rendezvous. Camille (Kathy Baker) faces the limitations of her previously dependable body. Maggie (Glenn Close) allows her own life to be eclipsed by that of her young daughter, Maria (Dakota Fanning). Filmmaker Rodrigo Garcia (Things You Can Tell Just By Looking at Her) plumbs the depths with these nine everyday women who meet the travails and disappointments of life with a resilience that is at once heartening and heartbreaking.

The trailer for Last Holiday (2006)

  • A shy cookware clerk (Queen Latifah), believing her days are numbered, throws caution to the wind and embarks on a dream vacation to Europe. While staying at a grand hotel, she and her uninhibited attitude have a profound and humorous effect on the guests and staff.
  • Gerard Depardieu plays the part of Europe. (He had to lose weight for the role)
  • Depardieu and Latifah together? And they say Hollywood is afraid of weighty themes.

KIM JONG-IL NAMES NON-MADMAN TO SUCCEED HIM. Critics Question Qualifications of Apparently Sane Nominee

  • Speaking on condition of anonymity for fear of being thrown into the core of a nuclear reactor, one such critic said, “With all of the insane people in Kim’s government, why would he pick a non-lunatic with no madman experience whatsoever?”
  • For his part, Kim told reporters today that madman experience was “overrated” and that he believed that his personal chef was the best choice: “I am fully confident that as President of North Korea, Kyung Hwa Chim will be capable of making totally unhinged, loony decisions.”

Mariah Carey says she has been 'born again' several times in this lifetime. You really can't be born too many times, can you? I like to be reborn at least three times a day. Maybe more if I see a stimulating sex scene.

British playwright Harold Pinter wins Nobel Literature Prize. It makes some sense to honor him while he is still alive. He was already considered an established playwright and a distinctive avant-garde voice when I entered college - and that was 39 years ago! Actually, he's not that old, because he was a wunderkind in the late 50s. He turned 75 Monday.

Bush approval rating dips to another new low. The President asked, "So, is a low score good, like in golf?"


Pat Reeder -

Supreme Sucking-Up - The Texas Archives released 2,000 documents that include gushing letters and greeting cards from then-Lottery Commission head Harriet Miers to then-Gov. George W. Bush, in which she uses lots of exclamation points and calls Bush "cool!" and "the best governor ever."

*  Or at least the best governor she could find in the immediate vicinity.
*  These sound more like "A Child's Letters To God."
*  I think I'd rather just go ahead and put her on the Court than have to hear all this read into the Congressional Record.
*  It's about time we had a Supreme Court justice who dots her i's with tiny hearts.

Swede And Low Down - George Burns was right: the day you retire, you start dying.  Sweden's Karolinska Institute and Linkoping University tracked 250,000 men and women for 12 years and found that people who retire early are more than twice as likely to die younger than the rest of the population.  They can't say why: some people retire early due to health problems, but they're usually
not the kind that shorten life.  Ironically, in a recent poll, 60 percent of Swedes said they'd love to retire early.

*  They're just dying to retire!
*  You'd think if anything killed them, it would be the stress of their 36.7-hour work week.
*  They probably explode from all those cruise ship buffets.

And No Mexican Beer?! - Tom Ullum owns the Pleasure Inn bar in Mason, Ohio, and he has a sign reading, "For Service, Speak English."  He says it's just tongue-in-cheek, he has lots of Mexican customers and no record of any discrimination complaints.  But the Ohio Civil Rights Commission ruled that the sign discriminates against non-English speakers and creates an affront to Hispanics.  Ullum may be forced to pay to run ads about discrimination and his employees forced to take diversity and cultural sensitivity training.  Ullum has nine days to file for them to reconsider.  Until then, he vowed not to remove the sign.

*  What part of the phrase "Congress shall make no law abridging freedom of speech" do the Commissioners not understand?
*  It's just a joke, but all jokes create an affront to power-mad bureaucrats.
*  He's hiring a lawyer who'll present his case in Klingon, just to see if the commissioners ask him to speak English.

"E.T., Phone Rome" - Independent Catholic News reports that with so many people believing in aliens, Britain's Catholic Truth Society has issued a book called "Intelligent Life In The Universe?" to examine how the Church should handle the discovery of ETs.  Among the questions it examines: Does original sin affect all intelligent beings?  Would the Church send missionaries to other planets?  Is Jesus Christ's redemption valid across the universe, or would other planets have their own version of Jesus?  And would humans even recognize intelligent life if we saw it?

*  I've wondered about that one for years.
*  And of course, could E.T. become Pope?
*  And, "Does their interest in anal probes make them good  candidates for the priesthood?"
*  Amazingly, this book has the answers to every one of those questions!

What A Large Sesame Seed! - A jealous husband in Vorarlberg, Austria, came up with an ingenious way to keep his wife from sneaking out to see her lover: he dissolved tranquilizers in her wine so she'd sleep through the evening.  It worked twice, until she found a tablet hidden in her bread and called the police.  They're now getting divorced, and the husband was found guilty of coercion and told he'd be fined $540 if he tried it again.

*  Still, it's cheaper than marriage counseling.
*  Maybe she wouldn't have taken a lover if her husband didn't put her to sleep.
*  This guy has watched way too many episodes of "Desperate Housewives."

Try Tranquilizing Her - In Ferrara, Italy, Algerian-born Ahmed Salhi was sentenced to nine months' home detention on an immigration violation, but after a week, he returned to court and begged to be sent to jail instead.  He said he couldn't stand his Italian wife's nagging for nine straight months and said he'd rather be in a cell, pleading, "I need some peace."  The judge took pity and let him finish his sentence in jail.

*  The judge must be married, too.
*  He's hoping to make it 12 months with bad behavior.
*  He also asked to be denied conjugal visits, but the judge said, "Don't get greedy."
*  This is exactly how Martha Stewart's maids felt during her home confinement.

Acting!! - Bryan Perley of Orlando, Florida, reportedly entered an office claiming to be a Merchant Marine captain acting as a magistrate and tried to serve an arrest warrant.  But the woman he was seeking was out.  Upset with the suspicious employees, he called 911 for police backup, telling them these people didn't understand the chain of command.  Police arrived and found that Perley had a phony ID and passport, and his "warrant" was handwritten.  He's charged with seven felonies.  They have no idea why he called for backup while
allegedly impersonating an officer.

*  Realism!
*  Truly great actors get caught up in the moment.
*  He figured that's what Horatio does on "CSI: Miami," and he's not a real cop, either.

Up...In Smoke - Someone in Greensboro, North Carolina, is desperate for Viagra.  For the second time this year, thieves tried to steal $67,000 worth of samples from a storage facility rented by Pfizer Inc.  The pills were found hidden in another storage unit.  Because the Viagra pills became unsupervised, their safety can't be guaranteed, so they'll be destroyed.

*  Along with so many hopes, dreams and fantasies.
*  And by "destroyed," they mean "sold cheap on the Internet."
*  It might've been poisoned by terrorists trying to wipe out America's supply of horny middle-aged men.

Wrap It Up, I'll Take It - A bank in Vienna was robbed by a mummy.  A robber wrapped all in bandages stood in line waiting for service, then handed the cashier a note saying he had a hand grenade hidden in his bandages and demanded all the money.  He left quietly with a bag of cash before the cops could arrive.

*  He just disappeared...Maybe he's the Invisible Man!
*  He plans to stay under wraps for awhile.
*  That was no mummy, it was Michael Jackson trying to pay for his latest plastic surgery.
*  Don't think of it as bank robbery, consider it "trick or treating." 

Good Thing It Was A Skylight Company - Saturday in Washington state, a team called Tre-Barbaric won the annual Burlington Harvest Festival Pumpkin Pitch by hurling a pumpkin nearly 1,700 feet with a Medieval catapult.  They also exceeded the previous world record by nearly 300 feet.  The event seems goofy, but it can be dangerous: during Friday's practice, a pumpkin went off course and hit a nearby business's roof.

*  Their insurance rates also went through the roof.
*  The old pumpkin-hurling record was set by the winner of last year's pumpkin pie-eating contest.
*  Hey, terrorists: This is what we do for FUN!  Do you really think you're gonna scare us?!

Jurassic Jumbo Jet - Researchers from Cambridge University have reconstructed the largest-ever flying dinosaur, a pterosaur named Anhanguera ("Old Devil").  Scientists have argued for years over how something that grew up to 39 feet could get enough lift to fly, but the team thinks they've figured out how its body and wings were shaped.  To prove it, they've hired a German model maker to build a robo-pterosaur with a 13-foot wingspan, which will swoop over Britain this winter.

*  If that doesn't get the English to swear off drinking, nothing will.
*  It will also test their theory that a pterosaur could snatch a full-grown person in its claws and fly away with him.

Trust Me, It WASN'T Sexually Exciting! - In Topeka, Kansas, a local nudist camp has been putting on nude plays at the Topeka Performing Arts Center to promote their lifestyle.  They're not sexual, and there's no law against nudity per se, but Councilman Brett Blackburn said some constituents complained, so he proposed a ban on public nudity.  But it failed at a hearing when it turned out he was the only person in favor of it.  The nudist camp owner said, "It would seem that the proposed ordinance is a solution in search of a problem."

*  If it had banned only fat, ugly naked people, then THAT would've solved a problem.
*  Blackburn was also the only person at the hearing who wasn't naked.
*  Proving that in Topeka, they like to peek-a.

Space Cowboy - It's official: Chewbacca is an American.  British actor Peter Mayhew, who plays the "Star Wars" Wookie hero, will become a US citizen Monday at a ceremony in Arlington, Texas, a Dallas suburb.  Mayhew said he's always been fascinated with cowboys and American history, and marrying a Texas lady "more or less decided it."  He said when he takes the oath of American citizenship, he'll recite what he can remember and "it will be a Chewie growl for the other parts."

*  No problem, that's the way most Americans sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
*  He's hairy, freakishly tall and growls instead of talking... He's not just an American, he's a Texan!
*  As soon as he's a citizen, President Bush will draft him into the Texas National Guard and send him to go fight evildoers.

Bad Karma - Boy George sobbed at his arraignment, as authorities revealed that the police he'd called over on a bogus burglary report found 13 plastic bags of cocaine sitting by his computer.  His lawyer said he's had a lot of people in his house, and he has no idea how 13 bags of coke wound up in his apartment.

*  Maybe he bought it on the street, thinking it was really expensive face powder.
*  The cops planted it, to make Boy George look like a drug-using has-been!
*  His defense will be, "It's 2005: do you really believe Boy George could afford to buy 13 bags of cocaine?!"
*  Boy George needs to get a better lawyer...and some waterproof mascara.

Fox TV announced that they are canceling the Paris Hilton-Nicole Richie show, "The Simple Life," although the producers hope it will be picked up by another network

... Don't even think about the Food Channel

... No network is THAT desperate!  Well, maybe NBC

... It's a show where rich, beautiful people talk down to average Americans.  Put it on CNN.

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