Tuesday

Tuna
"Bloody Birthday"

Bloody Birthday (1981) is a reverse on the standard slasher theme, in that the slashers are 10 year old kids. Three babies are born at the same time in the same town during a total eclipse. According to the logic of the film, this bit of astrology left them without a conscience. 10 years later, people start dying. First, two teenagers are making out in the cemetery, and end up dead. Then the sheriff is killed, and an unpopular teacher. These three sweet kids continue on their killing spree.

The best reason to watch this film comes when one of the evil kids sells peeks through a peephole into her sisters room to other kids for 25 cents. Sister is Julie Brown, and we see her do a lengthy strip in front of a mirror. The scene is well lit, and we get a long look at her breasts and her bum. We also see breasts from Sylvia Wright, who is parking in a van with her boyfriend when one of the kids shoots them.

Producer Gerald T. Olson made the film with the idea of making a lot of money. He was persuaded to hire director Ed Hunt by a co-investor. In an interview on the DVD, he describes Hunt as being totally crazy, and stupid. Watch for a cameo from Josť Ferrer, and Susan Strassberg in a supporting role. While the critics savaged the film, it did very well at the box office. IMDB readers have it at 4.5 of 10.It has a cult following, and has some bad movie energy. Unfortunately the Wide Screen transfer is full of dust a chips, and the images are mostly overly contrasted and under-saturated. This is for genre fans only. C-.

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  • Julie Brown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)
  • Sylvia Wright (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26)

    "Bikini Summer II" redux

    Thanks to those who helped ID the Unknown maid as Traci Dali. Here are the corrected images.

  • Traci Dali (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    UPDATES:

    • New volumes: (1) Elizabeth Ward Gracen, ex girlfriend of Bill Clinton.
    • Updated volumes: (34) Heather Graham, Monique Gabrielle, Judith Godreche, Joanna Going, Valeria Golino, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, Pam Grier, Gina Gershon, Melanie Griffith, Rachel Griffiths, Jo Guest, Michelle Hall, Gabriella Hall, Landon Hall, Salma Hayek, Goldie Hawn, Elizabeth Hurley, Lauren Hutton, Rachel Hunter, Holly Hunter, Natasha Henstridge, Geri Halliwell, Eva Herzigova, Gail Harris, Eva Habermann, Linda Hamilton, Suzanna Hamilton, Daryl Hannah, Lauren Hays, Mariel Hemingway, Anne Heche, Isabelle Huppert, Helen Hunt, Katie Holmes

       

    MAILBOX:

    Heya Scoop,

    I'm a big fan of the new HBO show 'Carnivale'.  Best fucking TV show since Twin Peaks all those years ago.  Odd, supernatural, compelling stuff.

    And then, of course, there's the nudity.  Every episode has had a little, if memory serves.  This week took the cake, however.

    Two sisters are the showcase girls of the 'coochie show'.  Very different gals, one very thin, one very curvaceous.  This week, both found themselves topless, but Dora Mae, the plus sized one, got a whole lot of naked.  As part of the 'blowoff' (in the carny slang) she dropped her drawers as well as her top, including a handstand split where you could nearly see her kidneys.  It was fast and kind of distant, so she may have had a patch over the holiest of holies but between that and a very well-lit closeup of her in her see-through g-string I think we pretty much saw every single inch of this girl's anatomy.

    I'm a lover of women all shapes and sizes, so I'd love to see some caps from the boys out there in TiVOland, if you'd be so kind as to pass on the request.  Other notable nudity on the show includes the girl's momma in the coochie show, the thinner sister's boobs in at least two or three episodes, and a topless post-coitial hooker in last week's show.  Keep up the good work,

    Mr. Dark
     

     

    OTHER CRAP:

     

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    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Since I'm feeling like a hyperactive child this fine day, here are single collages of five A-list babes in their most exposed performances. Will do the usual expulsive treatment of them later this week.

    Who we got?...


    On an unrelated note, I saw new Denzel movie "Out of Time" last night. Three observations:

    1) If you've watched enough thrillers, every plot move will be apparent to you twenty minutes before it is spelled out. The movie stays so close to convention, the two might as well be welded together.

    2) It won't matter. You will be entertained, anyway, mainly because Denzel Washington is spot-on perfect.

    3) Not much exposure from Sanaa Lathan (cleavage and nothing else) and no exposure at all from the astounding Eva Mendes. There were times Eva made appearances on-screen and audible gasps went up from the audience. The guys were thinking, "Ten minutes. Just ten minutes with her. Okay, five. Five minutes is all I ask. Shee-it, who I am kidding... three would be more than enough." And the women were thinking, "Maybe I should give this girl-on-girl stuff a chance." Here's a production still to prove my point.

    Snowblind
    Dominique Swain
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Toplessness and plenty of lesbian make-out scenes from "New Best Friend".

    Lysa Apostle Exellent wet t-shirt views with mega-pokies and semi-see-thru views in scenes from "Beneath Loch Ness".

    Rya Kihlstedt
    (1, 2)

    Topless in the made for cable flick, "She Creature".

    Variety
    Jennifer Aniston Another great 'cap of her über-pokies from last Thursday's episode of "Friends".

    Ludvine Sagnier
    (1, 2, 3)

    The gorgeous young French actress topless, and in a bathing suit in scenes from "Swimming Pool".

    Nikki Cox
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    One word...cleavage! Here she is with her husband, Bobcat Goldthwait (yup, you read that right) on The Jimmy Kimmel show. Thanks to DeadLamb and Grock for the collages.

    Sharon Osbourne
    (1, 2)

    Flashing a boob on her way in to a VH-1 Divas show.

    Molly Sims
    (1, 2)

    The model-turned-Old-Navy-spokesperson-turned-really-bad-actress in a bikini and showing partial side breast views in scenes from last week's episode of the new NBC series "Las Vegas".

    Cristina Brondo
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    The Spanish actress bares breasts and bum in love scenes from "Lola, vende ca" aka "Lola, Come Here" (2002). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NO JOKE: RODNEY DANGERFIELD WANTS TO BE CLONED
    Anything To Avoid Paying Writers - The New York Post's Page Six reports that Rodney Dangerfield and his wife Joan met with Raelian cult representative Brigitte Boisselier to discuss cloning Rodney. Joan said the couple are skeptical but "clone-curious" because Rodney would like a clone of himself to help him write jokes. She said they asked how much it would cost and were told Rodney wouldn't be charged anything. But they asked to see some proof and Rodney didn't give Boisselier a DNA sample.

  • No woman will take Rodney's DNA! I tell ya, he gets no respect!
  • The Raelians get no respect.
  • I don't mind them cloning Rodney Dangerfield, but if they make the same offer to Carrot Top, it's time to shut them down.
  • Rodney will be long gone by the time the clone can write anything but knock-knock jokes.


    PAMELA ANDERSON, "NOVELIST"
    A "Novelist"? Like Jackie Collins? - Britain's News of the World paper reports that Pamela Anderson has signed a publishing deal to become a "novelist." The books will actually be written by a ghost writer, but Pam will reportedly provide the plot and characters, based on her own experiences. The novels will be called "Above The Waist" and "Below The Belt."

  • All of Pam's experiences fall into those two categories.
  • "Above The Waist" will be much bigger, with two well-developed main characters.
  • I think I'll skip the books and wait for the video versions.
  • They won't say who'll be hired to write them for her, or who'll be hired to read them to her.


    SADDAM'S MONEY IN SYRIA?
    Giant Statues Aren't As Cheap As They Used To Be! - Time magazine reports that White House officials believe up to $3 billion of Saddam Hussein's loot is hidden in Syrian banks and are demanding it be turned over. Syria denied the allegation, and some experts think Saddam might not be as rich as estimated because he had to spend so much money to maintain his aura of power.

  • Like M.C. Hammer...
  • He spent it all on black hair dye.
  • These are the same experts who think Saddam doesn't have any WMD because he used so many.
  • The only solution is to invade the Syrian banks and see if we find any money there.


    TALKING RUMSFELD DOLL
    If You Liked The Oscar The Grouch Doll... - Talkingpresidents.com has created a new political celebrity doll: a talking Donald Rumsfeld. "Talking Rummy" offers 26 snappy answers to reporters, including, "I'm working my way over to figuring out how I won't answer that," and "You just don't like one-word answers."

  • It also gives a two-word answer which makes it unfit for children.
  • They're already using him in journalism schools, for practice.
  • He also orders G.I. Joe to carpet-bomb all the Aladdin toys.