Friday the 13th

Updates

  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated

 

The King (2006)

The King is one of the most profoundly twisted and depressing films I've ever seen.

Gael Garcia Bernal plays a young man named Elvis, the son of a Mexican prostitute and a Southern white man who never acknowledged his paternity. Elvis is a character of pure evil. When we first see him, he is being released from the navy. He stops at a brothel during the opening credits, and then heads "home" to meet the father (William Hurt) he has never met before. Elvis introduces himself to dad, who has now repented of the misspent youth which spawned Bernal, and has become a Baptist preacher with an upstanding life and a close family. The father essentially tells his son to kiss off. Not a good move.

Bernal executes a twisted and calculating "revenge" plan. (I guess it is revenge for dad's slights or imagined slights against himself and his mother, but his motivation is never really that clear.) He seduces and impregnates his virginal and sensitive half-sister without telling her about their blood connection, then knifes his half-brother to death in secret, all the while slowly ingratiating himself with his father. He has far more evil in store for the family before the movie will end.

In essence, Elvis is the devil, tempting and taunting the Christians as he did to their founder in the desert long ago.

I'm really not sure what this film is supposed to be. Is it some kind of an arty horror film about a twisted sociopath, ala Psycho? Is is some kind of morality play in the tradition of the Greek tragedies? Or is it a pitch-black comedy which attacks the hypocrisy of Christian values? I'm just not sure. One critic described it as a morality play without the morals, and that seems accurate. Whatever the film's takeaway is supposed to be, and no matter the intrinsic value of the direction and acting, the plain fact of the matter is that this film has almost no audience. It doesn't have the over-the-top guilty pleasures necessary to please the horror film buffs, and it doesn't have enough focus or a strong enough point to please the arthouse drama crowd. It is an exasperating and profoundly non-commercial, feel-bad movie, albeit a slickly constructed one. Variety called it "pointless" and "unjustifiably ugly," and I echo those sentiments. It's an unpleasant experience.

It grossed about a quarter of a million dollars in arthouse distribution.

This film clip of the brothel visit (zipped .wmv) is the extended version from the DVD special features. The version in the film itself never shows the prostitute's face! (Not sure why.) The actress is Veronica Bernal (no relation to Gael Bernal, her sexual partner in the scene). For reference, here is her home page.

 

Veronica Bernal.

 

This film clip (zipped .wmv) is Elvis's seduction of his little sister, who is played by Pell James.

Pell James

 

The Butterfly Effect 2 (2006)

This is a straight-to-video sequel which belongs on the Lifetime network. It's basically a trite love story in which a somewhat callous man with a mysterious power to change the past eventually realizes what a shitbag he has been and makes the decisions he should have made in the first place. It's just not worth writing about.

This scene with Erica Durance (zipped .wmv) does eventually show a fleeting breast-shot here and there, but I'll be damned if I ever saw any nipples in there anywhere. Erica is a pretty girl, however, and the action is quite hot, so the scene is worth a look even though the lovers are wearing far too much clothing.

Erica Durance

 

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

Human For Sale - - How much are you worth?

Another criminal mastermind: "A man suspected of stealing a loaded beer truck was nabbed after a police dog followed a trail of discarded beers"

The Official Website of Dog Chapman - The Bounty Hunter

Colbert prsents the latest animated Tek Jansen adventure, in which Tek spends the entire episode trying to dock his ship

Colbert shows the winner of his green screen competition (George Lucas finished second)

Colbert gets a surprise when George Lucas enters his "green screen challenge" ... Part 2 of the Lucas appearance ... Part 3 (Colbert and Lucas have a light-saber duel)

Jon Oliver, the Daily Show's resident Limey, studies America's militaristic culture. ... Jon Oliver's report, part 2.

Jon Stewart interviews Lou Dobbs, part 1 ... Lou Dobbs, part 2 ... Lou Dobbs, part 3

The Daily Show reports on how much Donald Trump hates garish overcompensation.

Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Barbra Streisand's Gone Nuts"

  • When a fan shouted, 'Sing 'Memories',' she beat him to death with her high heel
     
  • At conclusion of 'The Way We Were,' bites off the head of a bat
     
  • Invited Mel Gibson to come over and watch 'Yentl'
     
  • Now believes that people who need people are only the third-luckiest people in the world
     
  • When a cameraman accidentally photographed her from the wrong side, she shot him with a 12-gauge
     
  • Finally had a nose job -- to make it bigger!

Premiere Magazine - The 50 Biggest Hollywood Disasters

Just before filming this ad,, Orson Welles apparently served quite a bit of wine before its time

TARA REIDíS BOOBS HAVE SURGERY TO REMOVE TARA

Four clips from Babel (2006)

Behind the scenes at Mel Gibson's Apocalypto

The trailer for Freedom Writers

  • The project is based on "The Freedom Writer's Diaries: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them," written by high school teacher Erin Gruwell and her students. In the inspiring book, Gruwell and her "unteachable, at-risk" students set out on a life-changing, eye-opening, spirit-raising odyssey against ignorance, misunderstanding, and the negative forces in their own lives. Beginning with their study of "The Diary of Anne Frank" and the Holocaust, the Freedom Writers seek out heroes in the wider world. As their writing projects develop, the students strive to become their own heroes.

U.S. Questions Size of North Korean Nuke Blast ... Kim Jong-Il Says Size Does Not Matter - 'The Earth Moved,' Claims North Korean Dictator"

Heavily invested in Plasma or LCD? Bad news. They're both obsolete

  • "world's first laser television ... half the price, twice as good, and use a quarter of the electricity of conventional plasma and LCD TVs."

Maz Fleischer's first-ever color cartoon, Betty Boop: Poor Cinderella

The game show - Who's More Grizzled??

President Bush's Statement Regarding North Korea's Totally Non-Foreseeable, Non-Negotiable Development of Nukular Weapons (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

"Who is Hollywood's Biggest Hack? Most Wanted Actor? Most Deranged Director? More than 50 of the industry's top power brokers dish out the honors in an Exclusive Radar Poll"

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Over 18 and Ready (1969)

Over 18 and Ready is a grindhouse effort. Mary McRae plays the secretary to an exploitation movie maker, but she originally had come to Hollywood to be in the movies, so when he has trouble finding his newest leading lady, she campaigns for the part. In order to get the job, she must sleep with him and also with his lesbian wife, who provides the financing. She would rather be doing the photographer, but they move her into their Malibu home to avoid competition. A sexy maid provides diversion when nothing better is around. It ends badly, with the sinner being punished for her sins.

IMDb has no opinion as yet, but when and if they do, it will not be good. The acting was poor, the transfer is full of scratches, Mary McRae is plump by today's standards, and it is just plain sloppy. There are two bath scenes in different houses, but both use the same tub. In one scene, you can see a crew member's arm (see image 36 of Mary McRae).

Of course, there were far worse efforts in grindhouses in the late 60s, making this one a low C- if grindhouse is your bag, baby.

Mary McRae shows full frontal and rear nudity, and is shaved. Shaving was not common in the late 60s.

Michelle Legrande, as the maid, shows breasts and buns.

 Margo Stevens, as the wife, shows breasts and buns.

 

 

 

 

 



 

Perfume: Story of a Murderer

Jessica Schwarz
Karoline Herfurth
Sara Forestier
unknowns

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Lower City:

This 2005 Brazilian drama about a lover's triangle doesn't bring anything new to the party, but I still liked it, even though it's in Portuguese with English sub-titles.

Two lifelong friends own a freight-hauling boat together. They give a prostitute/stripper a ride one day, and both men become friends with her. Both men also have sex with her (for free).

As the three become closer, and the men each become more fond of the girl, she struggles desperately to maintain an intimate relationship with both hoping they can all stay friends, but naturally, their love for the girl drive the men apart.

As you can see, nothing really new here, but I still liked it. One reason is that the chemistry between Alice Braga and the two male leads really transferred onto the screen. It's also a very gritty if somewhat depressing story, as lower city refers to the slumlike area where the three lived and worked. These weren't high society-type folks, and the actors did an excellent job of conveying that.

Alice Braga

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages


 

Tara Fitzgerald in Sirens. This daydream moment of Tara's character (while she is attending church) is debatedly the most erotic moment in this wonderful film not because she is running towards the viewer but because she is actually running towards that cluster of randy young men....

Looking for Mr. Goodbar. This was Diane Keaton's radical break away from comedy films in an effort to get herself noticed in Hollywood as a serious actress.  It worked.  I saw this film in the theater as a teen; the ending freaked me out.
 

 

 

 

Heather Doba in the immortal cinema classic, Mr Jingles

Jessica Hall in Mr Jingles. This film could be headed for the all-time worst rating at IMDb. It is currently rated 1.5. There have been 98 votes, and 69 of them are 1/10 (and 11 of the others are obviously bogus 10/10 votes!). Scott Weinberg wrote:

"Not including the opening and closing credits, Mr. Jingles runs about 65 minutes, which is about 62 more than you'll need. When we're not being treated to a murderous clown doling out some of the lamest gore effects imaginable, the filmmakers (ok, the guys who own the camera) deliver endlessly tedious conversations about weed, sex, and the neighborhood's "hidden" secret. Eventually the chit-chat dies down, a few more idiots are (unconvincingly) killed, and we're left with an ending so moronic it boggles the mind. This flick gets it all wrong: acting, writing, lighting, lensing, pacing, killing ... It's pretty amazing, actually. How something this worthless even gets pressed onto DVD is simply beyond me"

Diora Baird in Hot Tamale (This may be a re-run. I've lost track of it. If so, sorry!)