"The Mother"

The Mother (2003) is a BBC financed UK chick flick, granny division. Ann Reid and her husband travel to the home of their two children in London for the Christmas holidays. It is clear that they do not have a particularly exciting life. The house is suburbia on steroids. Their daughter is a divorcee, and having it off with a handyman (Daniel Craig). Their son is a workaholic. When Reid's husband dies, Reid is lost, and doesn't want to go home, but she is a burden on her children. The real conflict is set up when Reid starts an intimate relationship with Craig.

The nudity is from Reid, who shows breasts in a post coital scene. I suppose the film is a condemnation of boring suburban life, and the story of mother and daughter. It has an overall 7.0 at IMDb, with women at 8.0 and men at 6.9. Reid garnered a BAFTA nomination. It earned just under $1M in a US release. Ebert adored it at 3.5 stars, praising the depth to which the main characters are developed. The sex scenes did have the ring of honesty, and were far from gratuitous. It was shot mainly in one location on 16 mm, but looks very good for the limited budget. I can't say I was glued to the screen. The pace was deliberate, and it was a little talky, but, in the end, I didn't hit fast forward, and cared about the outcome. It was rather brave of the 69 year old Reid to film very hot and rather explicit sex scenes and bare her breasts. This is a C+. They hit all the marks they intended, and the film has many excellent performances. It is decidedly character driven, and the characters are interesting.

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  • Ann Reid (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Method (2004):

    Method (aka The Method) is Elizabeth Hurley's latest film, and her first since she had her baby. Although filmed on location in Romania, with a budget estimated by various sources between ten and seventeen million dollars, it went straight to video, indicating that there was no distributor who thought he could recoup marketing and distribution costs. This is becoming a habit with Hurley films. Method is the third recent Hurley effort to go straight to vid in the USA (Method, Bad Boy, Double Whammy), and the fifth in Britain (those three plus Serving Sara and The Weight of Water).

    In short, Hurley is becoming the British Corbin Bernsen. Or is it the British Eric Roberts?

    At one point, Hurley reportedly walked off the set after the director criticized her performance. The 38-year-old is said to have taken a two day absence after director Duncan Roy told her she was too stiff in one scene. Hurley is said to have returned to work after Roy apologized. The incident must have been particularly tense for Mr. Roy since Hurley was also one of the film's producers!  The oddly ironic factor in the equation is that Hurley was supposed to be playing the part of a bad actress! You'd think it would have been her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

    The film has been described (rather too generously) as Day for Night meets Basic Instinct. It follows a celebrity actress (Hurley) who gets her dream role playing real-life 19th century serial killer Belle Guinness in a feature film and starts to take on the characteristics of the role on-screen and off. The "hook"  of the film is that the lead actor and actress in the film-within-a-film used to be lovers, and their characters also become lovers. Thus, it is never certain whether we are seeing the characters making love, or whether the actors have resumed their relationship and are making love while still in costume.

    Yeah, I know. It's not much of a hook.

    While the soap opera love story progresses, dead bodies start to turn up on the movie set, at which point the plot takes kind of a hard left and develops into a murder mystery. Since the actress is acting totally nuts, is taking method acting to an irrational extreme by living on the set, and is talking to the spirit of her character - a 19th century murderess, we assume she must be involved in the murders on the set. Our feeling is buttressed by the fact that we are constantly watching her murder people while she is in the 19th century character.

    Of course, it is a movie, and we know that the obvious killer never seems to turn out to be the real killer, so ...

    Yeah, I know. It's not much of a murder mystery either.

    The 4.3 at IMDb gives an accurate picture.

    Oh, yeah, no nudity either. I only did captures since it is the exquisite and age-defying Ms Hurley. (She has been getting better looking every year for about 15 years now. A great combination of modern science and her own astounding DNA!)

    • Hurley (1, 2, 3)



    Gypsy 83 (2001):

    IMDB summary says it all:

    "Two young misfits head for New York City to celebrate their idol and muse, Stevie Nicks, at The Night of 1000 Stevies. Along the road, in order for them to escape their painful pasts, they must discover their strengths and learn self-acceptance."

    The major point is that Sara Rue has some humungous hangers on 'er.



    Other Crap:


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    Semi-notorious film about a fully-notorious scandal in the upper echelons of British power.



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    As I promised last week, this contribution will be more idyllic. See, recently the film "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" (1991) aired in a full screen version on one of our 2 Flemish public TV channels. This is, as you probably all know, a nice opportunity to take a closer look at Daryl Hannah. There is only one downside though, I had to record it from analog cable and even when no-one is watching the TV it never reaches digital quality. Those channels are available digitally but you need a settop box which costs around 170 euros. I find that bit overpriced for just 2 TV stations and 6 radio channels. But I digress. Still the clips didn't come out too shabby, even if I say so myself.
    As for the movie, it deals with four American evangelical missionaries, one of whom is Daryl Hannah, who come to the Amazon to try to convert a native tribe to Christianity after the Catholics already tried in vain. Compared to these evangelicals, the local Catholic priest seems like a moderate. Then there's also an American Indian (Tom Berenger!) who teams up with the local Indians. And that's about the whole story. Oh sure, there's also the local bad guy who manipulates our four naive do-gooders to get his hands on the gold on the natives' land. Apparently it suits his purposes for the natives to be converted to Christianity, so that they would leave their grounds. No explanation is given as to why these people would leave their land once converted ! Ultimately this logical gap doesn't matter, since the bad guy loses his patience with the whole missionary process and decides to drive the natives out in a more direct manner - by throwing explosives on their village from a helicopter. One wonders why he didn't just do that in the first place. It's much quicker and he can get away with it.
    After about two hours in this movie and for no apparent reason, Daryl Hannah's faith starts to falter for a moment when she goes skinny-dipping in the river and Tom Berenger catches up on her. At first she's scared, but then she kisses him, and in the end runs off home, staying faithful to her husband. No big surprises there either. Kathy Bates goes berserk in the buff for about 30 seconds after her little boy dies, so her nude scene is fairly gratuitous too.

    Not that I mind in Daryl's case.

    The message this film seems to deliver is that westerners should stay out of the Amazon and leave the native people alone instead of bringing them diseases and a god they don't need . So far, so good. But the end contradicts that. As long as the westerners were there, the local tyrant was kept at a distance. He only interfered when the missionaries informed him that they failed. So what should we do in the future? Interfere or not?
    At 180 minutes this movie is way overlong and keeps vacillating between being a documentary and a drama, without ever making up its mind. All the characters are one-dimensional, and there is really no-one you can root for. Only Billy, Kathy Bates little boy in this flick, is sympathetic and he dies about half way through the film. The dialogue lacks any depth and consists mostly of clichés. Some scenes go on forever,  and while the photography is good, it is nothing spectacular. Despite these flaws the actors held themselves together and delivered solid performances. I would rate this film as C-, possibly D, on our rating system.
    So, fellow Fun House readers, enjoy these caps and clips of Daryl Hannah wearing nothing at all, not even her red-cross eye-patch (for those who don't know what I mean, please watch Kill Bill Vol. 1). And for those who like their women meatier, there's a clip of Kathy Bates's nude scene as well.
    Nudity report: Daryl Hannah and Kathy Bates show everything, as do Tom Berenger and Bates's little boy when he plays with the native children who also run around naked. The adult natives from all ages and sizes aren't wearing much either, but they never show lower frontal nudity.
    That's all for now, hope to be back soon.
    Yours faithfully,

    SCOOP's NOTE: This is a great treat!!! The quality is fine, and ICMS captured the full-frame version of the scenes, which exposes lots more of Daryl's blonde pubes than a widescreen theatrical version.. Check out  collages #4 and #8 for a quick overview.


    • Hannah, Part 1 (.avi zipped, .wmv zipped). Daryl swimming, then just about emerging from the water. Many looks at her magnificent bottom.

    • Hannah, Part 2 (.avi zipped, .wmv zipped). Tom Berenger sneaks up on her as she sunbathes. Lots of good looks at Hannah's athletic body.

    • Hannah, Part 3 (.avi zipped, .wmv zipped) Berenger kisses her gently, and she flees naked into the forest, giving one last look at her rear end.

    • Bates (.avi zipped, .wmv zipped). Bates goes generally batshit.


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost....'caps and vids from the 1982 comedy classic, "Trading Places".

    Scorpion's Skinemax
    First up, scenes from a couple of recent episodes of the late night series "Black Tie Nights"

    • Amy Lindsay...pretty much toplessness only, but there might be a hint of pubes in #1. (1, 2)
    • Tiffany Bolton, the former co-host of "Beat the Geeks" shows off her robo-boobs while sexing it up in a shower scene.
    • Aria..breast views only in a sex scene or two.
    • Kennedy Johnston, toplessness and almost frontal nudity while having pseudo-sex with Ron Jeremy? Amazing but true....that's the Hedgehog doing softcore!

    Next up, a bunch of adult stars doing the softcore thing in scenes from the movie "Talk Dirty".

    • Ann Marie, the adult star bares all 3 B's in a pseudo-sex scene.
    • Monique Alexander, full frontal in a sex scene.
    • Monique Alexander and Ann Marie have some fun...lesbo style. (1, 2)
    • Kaylynn, another triple B performance. (1, 2)
    • Lezley Zen, baring all in a shower scene, and also in a sex scene.
    • Kaylynn and Lezley Zen, more lesbotronics.
    • Nichole McAuley, robo-big'uns and some brief views of the other two B's. (1, 2, 3)

    And last but not least....

    • Scream Queen Linnea Quigley bares breasts and bum in a shower scene from "Jack-O" aka "Jack O'Lantern" (1995).

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    A quick S-E-X Traffic addendum to follow up yesterday's update.

    "Sex Traffic" (miniseries)
    Just another cap from the second part of the miniseries.

    Jewel I'm not exactly sure about the when and where info on this one. But all that really matters is that the pop singer/author/actress can barely keep one of her big'uns contained while on stage!

    Cate Blanchett
    (1, 2, 3)
    Katie Holmes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Flautista takes look at the 2000 movie, "The Gift". LOTR star Blanchett shows some upskirt undies views, while Holmes...well, you already know she showed off her amazing breasts for the first and possibly only time on film.

    Laure Marsac
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    A cool find by Señor Skin. You may not recognize the name, but this French actress was the 'Mortal woman on stage' who was stripped nekkid in "Interview with the Vampire" (1994). Here she is a few years earlier going topless and showing brief glimpses of the other 2 B's in a shower scene from one of her first movies "L'Homme voilé" aka "The Veiled Man" (1987).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Now, That's Funny! - Michael Jackson is reportedly very angry with Eminem over his new video, "Just Lose It." It opens with Eminem in a Jackson costume from "Beat It," then his greasy hair catches on fire and he puts it out in a toilet. His nose falls off, he's shown bouncing on a bed with little boys, and he raps that his rap is not "a case of child molestation." A source close to Jackson said it's not known if he'll sue, but he thinks it's demeaning and hopes Eminem pulls it.

  • If he doesn't, Michael just might have to open up a can of whupass on Eminem!
  • Eminem replied, "Yo, Michael, what makes you think it's about YOU?"

    Has She EVER Had Sex Off-Camera? - Someone is reportedly selling a third Paris Hilton sex tape, this one featuring the heiress pleasuring herself in a hotel chair, using sex toys naked with another female heiress, and having sex with two men at once. Meanwhile, Paris told that she refuses requests to do nude scenes in a mainstream movie, saying, "I would never do anything like that. I have studied acting for years."

  • She can fake an orgasm like you wouldn't believe!
  • Besides, she's much too shy.
  • I'm beginning to think the only toy Paris needs every time she has sex is a camcorder.
  • If this is what volume three is like, I'm really hoping volume four doesn't feature her Chihuahua.
  • At least these tapes prove she doesn't spend all her time shopping.

    Sophie's Moist - Porn star Jenna Jameson is in talks to turn her bestselling memoir into a Hollywood movie. Now, the question is, what star will play the surgically-enhanced nudie queen? Everyone from Jaime Presley to Pam Anderson has been mentioned. Jameson said she liked Kate Hudson until she decided she couldn't fill Jameson's D-cups. She said her friends have even suggested Meryl Streep, saying she can play anyone.

  • She can make the audience BELIEVE she has D-cups.
  • Maybe Pam Anderson could loan her old implants to Kate Hudson.
  • Paris Hilton could do it, except she refuses to do nudity.
  • Nobody's been cast yet, but the producer is really looking forward to the auditions.
  • They expect to find a Hollywood actress who'll sexually degrade herself for a starring movie role? Good luck!