Bookmark scoopy.net or the members page, not here

Tuesday

Comments and news and stuff.
Four degrees of Suckeration.

You know, the verb "to suck" has taken over the world. When I used to say, 15 years ago, "I suck at Asteroids", women actually got offended. Now everyone says it on family shows and "Meet the Press". The one thing they haven't adopted from our old 1960's New York slang is the traditional "this" response. Example. The priest says "Dominus vobiscum", and you say "Dominus THIS, Padre", and grab your crotch. This works on all occasions and as a response to any comment. (Or, as an alternative, you can grab your crotch and say "I'll give you your Dominus right here, Padre", but my friends found this variant too verbose.). To relate this to the "suck" verb, one guy would say "your cigar sucks", and the other guy would grab his crotch and say "suck THIS", and there you have plenty of merriment and an instant Algonquin Round Table of witty repartee for all occasions.

Now my point here is that the co-opting of "suck" by the mainstream culture leads to a lack of gradations. Is it fair to say that Cher's singing sucks, when this is the same way you would describe Yoko Ono? Of course not. So I therefore propose four degrees of suckeration. To stay on the musician theme for a minute, here's how it would work.

  1. First degree of suckeration. People who are OK, but not really as good as you might expect from the success they've achieved. An example would be Jewel. If you got all your cousins together, Jewel would sing about as well as the best one. She has a pleasant voice, can carry a tune, knows some guitar chords, looks good. She's OK, you just can't quite figure out why she's a star and 100 million other equally talented women are not.
  2. Second degree of suckeration, people who really aren't good enough to be doing this professionally at all. If you assembled your cousins together and had a karaoke contest, they would finish in the middle of the pack. Cher and Jerry Vale would be in this category.
  3. Third degree of suckeration, people who don't have a clue how to do what they are supposed to be professionals at. Your most incompetent cousin could do it as well. Sid Vicious belongs in this group.
  4. Fourth degree of suckeration, people who are so bad that they not only can't do what they are supposed to be good at, but they cause nausea and/or laughter when they try to do it. If these people were your cousins, you wouldn't even admit it. And if you had a family karaoke contest, you'd have a kindly aunt distract them to another room to look at baby pictures. Examples would include Carol Channing, Yoko Ono, and Shatner.

Now, "ruling" requires the same degrees. Let's talk about these women we have here every day. These are imprecise and arbitrary, but you'll get the idea.

  1. Courtney Cox and Lucy Lawless rule about first degree.
  2. Portia de Rossi rules about second degree.
  3. Cameron Diaz and Zeta-Jones rule about third degree.
  4. Casta and Jolie and maybe a few selected others rule fourth degree, as Basinger and Bisset did in their primes.

I'll start using these terms from time to time, and therefore will not identify suckiosity or rulitude unless I specify the degree of such. For example, I pointed out above that Shatner is a fourth degree suck as a singer, but he is only a second degree suck as an actor. An example of a fourth degree acting suck would be Bob Dylan.

Blinky
  • It's starting to feel like it's Scoopy's, Blinky's, Tuna's, Cougar's and Stone Cold's Fun House, because those guys don't miss many issues. Blinky came up with the same woman two days in a row. If the woman were Madeline Albright, that would suck fourth degree, but it is Laetitia Casta, which in fact RULES fourth degree! This was my favorite today.
  • Casta. The next three are from the same series as the first.
  • Casta.
  • Casta.
  • Casta. These next two have flesh.
  • Casta.
  • Casta. This and the next one have no real flesh, but extreme beauty.
  • Casta .
  • Casta. From here down are just for guys who ahve to see everything.
  • Casta .
  • Casta .
  • Casta .
  • Casta .
  • Casta .
  • There is no dedicated Blinky website. Blinky doesn't create material, but rather scours the fashion sites for stray flesh. His contributions are archived in the back issues. Search for "Blinky" with the search function in the back issues. We have more than a year of back issues, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up, log in, or get info
  • Stone Cold
  • I noticed that Stone Cold posts his rants on the message board now, which is cool. He's continuing his Nudi series here, with Lida Egorova
  • Here's a runway pic one of Egorova .
  • Here's Esther DeJong from "Nudi" .
  • ... and DeJong posing
  • Zora Starr in "Nudi".
  • Starr runway.
  • Starr runway.
  • Malgosia is (a) the disease caught by the most laborers during the building of the Panama Canal (2) Africa's most promising new democracy (3) A type of nausea affecting inexperienced sailors (4) A runway model. Answer is (4), but I don't know anything about her. Here she is in "Nudi"
  • Malgosia elsewhere.
  • There is no dedicated Stone Cold site, but all his contributions are archived in the back issues. Search for "Stone Cold" with the search function in the back issues. We have more than a year of back issues, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up, log in, or get info
  • ICMS
  • The Flemish School is in session. ICMS writes his own commentary. "Here's this week's production. The most important issues are probably Verona Feldbusch in a more revealing pose than the ones in Max magazine. The pictures come from a German mag called Bild-Woche and had on the title page "Verona nackt wie nie". I looked into the magazine and found a picture of Verona showing her buns. The article was in fact intended as publicity for her Max pictorial but this 1 dollar magazine actually had a more revealing picture of her ! So I bought it and here it is. One buck for a peek at Verona's buns isn't too much, is it ?
  • The second most important contribution is Laura Antonelli in the 1969 film "Le malizie di Venere", based on a novel by Leopold von Sacher Masoch. Masochism is the name and whipping is the game in this flick. This movie has several titles but it's best we stick to the original one ( one other title is Venus in Furs but there are other films that go by that name ). Pretty hot stuff for a 1969 flick .
  • And the last images of the second collage are like they appeared on screen, I did not play with the color nor is my equipment at fault. In the second last picture in that collage you can see a guy who could do with some serious positive image building. In the last picture you can see a Spanish signpost and, yes dear uncle, a gas station. So part of this movie was shot in Spain in 1969 ! Did Generalísimo Franco know it was this kind of movie ? Poor Caudillo, did you really think you had everything under control ? .
  • Watch the odd little car in the Cornelia Boje collage. They did the naughty bits in his apartment, the back seat of the car was probably a little uncomfortable.
  • Karin Frey in Der Willi Busch Report.
  • Martina Gedeck in "Ich habe 'nein' gesagt".
  • Ann-Kathrin Kramer in "Abgehauen".
  • Chiara Schoras in "Racheengel".
  • Chiara Schoras in "Racheengel".
  • There is no dedicated ICMS, but all his contributions are archived in the back issues. Search for "ICMS" or "Flemish" with the search function in the back issues. We have more than a year of back issues, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up, log in, or get info
  • Tuna
  • After many detours, The Big Fish is back to the Legends of Porn. This is Abigail Clayton in "Naked Afternoon"
  • Carol Levy in "Princess Call Girl".
  • Georgina Spelvin in "3 A.M."
  • Jackie O'Neil in "The Other Side of Julie.
  • This is not porn. It is a correction from yesterday.My hat is off to a reader who spotted a misidentified Claudette Colbert film. That's knowing your films!
  • There is no dedicated Tuna website, but he's here every day, more or less, and all his contributions are archived in the back issues. That's many hundreds. Search for "Tuna" with the search function in the back issues. We have more than a year of back issues, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up, log in, or get info
  • Snowblind
  • Snowy is much more than just the "King of the Message Board". He's also an excellent researcher of rare materials. How about Jo Ann Harris in "The Beguiled"?
  • Miss Kitty on WWF RAW.
  • Sandrine Holt in Black Robe.
  • Jeri Ryan in Star Trek clothing much too tight for her. Thank heaven. No nudity, but you'll probably breathe a bit heavier.
  • Gina Gershon, just because he likes Gina Gershon. (non-nude)
  • Maelstrom
  • Yamila. Nude!
  • Honte
  • Three new paparazzi topless of Princess Stephanie of Monaco. Find honte at www.honte.net
  • Stephanie.
  • Stephanie.
  • Slarti
  • Sylvia Leifheit in "Die Rote Meile".
  • Sylvia Leifheit in "Die Rote Meile".
  • Barbara Rudnik in "Doppeltes Dreieck",. Find Slarti at www.germancelebs.de
  • nmd
  • JLH in "The Byrds of Paradise". As usual from nmd, no flesh but really rare stuff! She's young, she's cute, she's wearing bikinis.
  • JLH in "The Byrds of Paradise".
  • JLH in "The Byrds of Paradise".
  • JLH in "The Byrds of Paradise".
  • JLH in "The Byrds of Paradise".
  • One last Pic from Remer
  • Remer doesn't send many in, but when he does, he comes up with some cool and unique stuff. Nudity from a contestant on MTV's "Say What Karaoke".