Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.


"Since You've Been Gone"

Since You've Been Gone (1998 TV movie) is a made for TV comedy about a 10th High School reunion. Unless gags like a women getting stuck to a toilette seat with superglue, or sticking a sign on the back of the former class president that says "I am stupid" appeal to you, you will probably find it as devoid of humor as I did. Despite a good cast, the move had no plot, no real pace, and did not really explore any of the characters. The only high point was a brief glimpse of a breast belonging to Lara Flynn Boyle while doing it in a jeep in the parking lot. Otherwise, it was a lot of uninteresting conversation among a bunch of losers.

IMDB readers say 5.2 of 10. It scores highest (7.2) with women under 18, and lowest (3.7) with males over 45. Put me squarely in that last group. High School reunions have been done time and again, and usually have a slasher, or at least some sexual intrigue or someone with a personal agenda to make them interesting. This film had none of that. Rather, it was as boring as a real High School reunion. While that might count as truth in film making, it does not make for entertainment, and there is nothing to be learned. It is technically competent. C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Lara Flynn Boyle (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Heartbreak Ridge"

    Heartbreak Ridge (1986) is a Clint Eastwood film about a Marine gunnery sergeant near mandatory retirement age. After punching out an officer, he is transferred from the recon platoon he was leading to a logistics job. Peace and quiet doesn't sit well with him, and he ends up drunk, fighting, and in jail most of the time. Through some of his many connections, he finally gets reassigned to the recon patrol, and his ex wife lives in the town nearest the base.

    The platoon he inherits was run by someone waiting for retirement, who let them become lazy, and Gunny Highway resolves to turn them into Marines. There are obstacles, however, most notable the commanding officer, who is from supply, and thinks the proper occupation for combat soldiers is filling out paperwork. Then, his unit is ordered to Grenada, and his troops prove themselves. It is during the student rescue that student Rebecca Perle steps out of the shower topless, and is surprised by a Marine.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.1 of 10. Ebert awards 3 stars. I enjoy the film very much, as a character study of the career Marine near retirement, who is increasingly out of place in the new military, and realizes that he will be leaving the Corps, for which he sacrificed everything, and will need to adapt and build a new life. IMDB calls it an action comedy, and it has plenty of both, but it is also something of a character driven drama. At any rate, it is populated by interesting characters, and moves at a brisk pace. B-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Rebecca Perle (1, 2)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    La Nina de tus Ojos is a terrific Spanish film from the Tuna Spanish collection, about the uneasy relations between two fascist governments in the 30's, as they try to produce a joint German-Spanish movie. The story is told through the eyes of the Spanish actors in Germany. Funny movie, with an underlying serious point. Has a great look, which I hope to have captured just a little of in the collages.

    • Penelope Cruz (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Beat is about the first generation of Beat Writers, focusing on the unusual relationship between William Burroughs and his wife. It tries to capture the spirit of the beats in the spirit of the film. Interesting experiment. I was impressed with it in some ways, but really found it too talky and static. The big surprise for me - Ron Livingstone, known for youth comedies, did a credible job as beat poet Allen Ginsberg.

    • Courtney Love (1, 2)


    Other crap:

    • Nicolas Cage sells his comic books for $1.6 million. Jeez, I'll bet I could get a lot for mine as well. I'm so old that in my childhood comics the Joker wasn't even working alone yet. He was still part of the Terrible Trio, with the Smoker, and the Midnight Toker. The Smoker didn't seem to be a dangerous opponent at the time, but Batman underestimated him. Years later, Robin developed this terrible cough, and then, not much later, there was an empty bed in Stately Wayne Manor.

    • Sleaze in Hollywood. Those two ultra-hunks with fabulous hair, Lorenzo Lamas and Shauna Sand, have broken up because Lamas was trying to pimp Sand out as an "escort" and other sleazy stuff. Allegedly, Sand was abusing Lamas physically! That and the fact that Shauna thought her father-in-law was actually Ricardo Montalban.

    • Courteney Cox is dropping the Arquette from her name. Can't say I blame her. Why did she marry that guy? Was Carrottop unavailable? According to the story, their relationship is fine, she's just changing her name. In the same article, you'll find the early front runners for this year's Razzies. Madonna looks good for Swept Away, and Eddie Murphy is lookin' mighty fine for Pluto Nash.

    • German zookeepers suspended for barbecuing animals from the petting zoo. I've already hired them for Scoopy's Politically Incorrect Restaurant, where you can hunt and kill your own Cameroonian Sheep, then eat him - now available in regular, or new German BBQ style.

    • Marshall Faulk takes his ball and goes home, because that mean old Bob Costas was picking on him. Boy, that'll reverse the schoolyard bully thing, eh? Big bad Marshall scared of a guy who can still wear Garanimals.

    • According to these guys, Osama is alive, but is one chubby mother. Apparently he is living in the back room of a Dunkin' Donuts in Dubai.

    • Bill Clinton trying to become the center square in Henry Winkler's "Hollywood Squares". Hopes to use his new status to meet Charo.

    • the philosophy of the oompa-loompas

    • In a major career change, Booger (Curtis Armstrong)  to play a hit man in "Irish Eyes"

    • Saddam Hussein campaigns for re-election. In the last election, he scored only 99.89% of the votes, and he's hoping to improve. I didn't make any of this up:

      "Party officials have chosen the Whitney Houston song I Will Always Love You as the campaign theme tune. The song accompanies the dawn-to-dusk election broadcasts on the three state-controlled television stations, which feature almost continuous footage of Saddam. He is shown praying, kissing children, firing an ancient rifle one-handed, waving to the masses and striking heroic poses.

      Saddam has a different costume for each scenario — the man-about-town in his black leather trilby, the Iraqi warrior in his army beret and green fatigues, the Arab statesman in his black-and-white keffiyeh. "





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
  • Linda Purl, very brief bum and side breast views in scenes from "Crazy Mama" (1975). Yes, that is Ralph Malph in the lower left corner.

  • Monica Bellucci, the Italian Mega-babe showing a bit of breast and partial bum exposure in scenes from "Under Suspicion" (2000).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

  • Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Three of the most pleasant words e'er spoken in English must be: Traci Bingham naked. Really. Seriously.

    Here she is in the Battleship Potemkin of plotless nekkid babe CD's: Exposed: TV's Lifeguard Babes. This is, in fact, Traci in her pre-enhanced days. And the star of the show is her uber-wonderful, el terrifico, hubba-hubba bumma. You got Traci's perfect posterior in a long scene with her a-dancin in nothing but a thong and a little white top (collages 3-6), and you got it completely bare as she stands up (collage 2), as she turns and walks away from the camera (collage 9) and as she lays down in the sand (collages 14 and 19).

    Then there is Traci topless as crawls toward the camera in two separate scenes (collages 10-12, 16-17, 19-20) and as the camera pans from above (collage 15, which also shows off that perfecto bum of hers again).

    Finally, you have Traci full frontal as a flimsy little wet piece of cloth slips out the way here and there (collages 1 and 6-8).

    Other scenes in this CD seemed to go on a bit too long; this one ended way too soon.

    A small and very nice assortment to mark the return of the master of runway collages.
    Ana López Mercado
    (1, 2)

    Breasts and bush in a sex scene from the Spanish Film "Y tu mamá también".

    Marta Aura
    (1, 2)

    Pubes and partial bum views, also from "Y tu mamá también".

    Maribel Verdú
    (1, 2)

    See-thru nipple sightings in another sex scene from "Y tu mamá también".

    Verónica Forqué
    (1, 2, 3)

    Toplessness and gettin' it on in "Kika" (1993).

    Jamie Lee Curtis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The word perfect comes to mind! Jamie Lee topless in the recently released DVD of "Trading Places". Fantastic 'caps by Penman.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    CONGRESS OKAYS IRAQ WAR Look In His Armpits - Thursday, both houses of Congress voted to give President Bush approval to wage war on Iraq if Saddam Hussein refuses to cooperate with the U.N. and destroy all weapons of mass destruction. An official in charge of Iraq's weapons programs denied having any weapons of mass destruction or any intention of producing them, but said if America commits a "foolish action against Iraq, we will teach them an unforgettable lesson."

  • "We will unleash these terrible weapons which we do not have!"
  • He's been secretly building a 50-foot "Super" slingshot.
  • He's wrong! Given enough time, Americans can forget anything!
  • This vote means Bush won't have to invoke his first-strike right to bomb Congress.

    Why Comedy Writers Love Election Years - The Democrats' switch of Senate candidate in New Jersey is coming back to bite them. In Montana, trailing GOP Senate candidate Mike Taylor dropped out, and it's rumored that popular ex-governor Marc Racicot may replace him. Taylor blamed his poll drop on a TV ad by the state Democratic Party that implied he was a gay hairdresser. In the early '80s, he owned a chain of hair salons and appeared on TV to promote them. The ad used a clip of him applying lotions to a man's face while wearing a tight suit with open shirt and gold chains, a la "Saturday Night Fever." The Democrats claimed they didn't mean to imply he was gay.

  • They just meant to imply that he liked disco music and rubbing lotion on men.
  • It's just that in the early '80s, EVERYBODY looked like a gay hairdresser.
  • Too bad he didn't have a more macho occupation, like cop, construction worker, cowboy, biker or Indian chief.
  • Once people thought he was gay, he had to resign as the Republican candidate and run as the Democratic candidate.

    ABC Has A Million Dollars?! - ABC's "Push, Nevada" and "That Was Then" are the first new fall TV shows to be canceled already. The Ben Affleck-produced "Push, Nevada" posed a problem for ABC because they promised a $1 million prize to the first person who watched all 13 episodes and solved the mystery. It's being reedited to put enough clues into the next three episodes for someone to solve the mystery, and then it will be gone.

  • If the 13-episode plot could be told in 3 episodes, maybe that's why people didn't watch in the first place.
  • Wow! Viewers said, "I wouldn't watch that show for a million dollars," and they actually MEANT it!
  • They should give a million dollars to anyone who watched one episode.
  • Pushing "Push, Nevada" didn't work, so now they're pulling it.

    I'm Not...That...Innocent! - Christina Aguilera says she's much happier now that she's raunchy and dressing in tiny clothes and heavy makeup. She said when she had her first hit, "Genie in a Bottle," at 17, her label made her pretend to be sweet and innocent. But she said, "I got to a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm not great at faking my way through trying to live up to the perfect American virginal sweetheart kind of thing. I just have to be me. I have to do my thing."

  • She dresses like a girl who'd do ANYBODY'S thing.
  • She has to wear six pounds of makeup or she doesn't feel natural.
  • I must've been at lunch when she went through her sweet, virginal phase.
  • She's like the girl next door, if you live next door to Heidi Fleiss.

    "Mom, This Is The Skank I Want To Marry" - Aguilera also denied that she's dating Justin Timberlake, but said she is looking for a boyfriend and just wants to find a "sweet boy."

  • A sweet boy who wants to date a Times Square hooker.
  • Keep looking in boy bands...There are some REALLY sweet boys in those.
  • Her clothes are so skimpy, even Justin Timberlake won't date her.

    We'll Passover Them - Leonard Nimoy pulled out of a speech to the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle in a controversy over his new photo book, "Shekina." He photographed nude women draped with Jewish ritual objects to express the "feminine aspect of divinity." Nimoy said the group wanted him to show only the tamer images, which wouldn't make it clear what the book was about.

  • That would be highly illogical.
  • They didn't object to the nude slides, it was the fact that he accompanies them by singing.
  • This is what happens to you when you only have sex every seven years.
  • This sounds more like a book that Captain Kirk would come up with.