Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


Uncle Scoopy-

The buxom lass in Time Barbarians, Sheila Young (Monday's Funhouse), appeared in more than 100 movies in the 1980's. She is pornstar Victoria Paris.


A History of Violence (2005)

 I thought that there was no possibility for any other film to rival Sin City as the "best comic book adaptation of 2005," but this one gives Rodriguez a run for his money. A History of Violence is David Cronenberg's newest, best-reviewed and most accessible movie.

It centers around a modest small-town diner owner who somehow manages to overpower two murderous armed robbers, in the process saving the lives of many people and becoming a national media figure. It's not always good to have your face broadcast nationally, especially if you have something to hide, and this man just may. Three mobsters watch the TV coverage of the incident and become convinced that Tom the diner owner is actually Joan Cusack. Oh, the horror! No, wait. He isn't manly enough to be Joan. Make that Joey Cusack, a notorious Philadelphia hit man who disappeared two decades earlier.

The Philly mobsters show up in Podunk inconspicuously enough in their enormous black sedan with tinted windows. I guess they didn't want to attract any attention. Of course, that miscalculation was minor compared to the truly enormous error they made. If they really thought this guy was Joey Cusack, and planned to threaten his family, they should have showed up with a lot more mobsters. Within a short time they are all lying stone cold in the Podunk morgue.

By this time the local sheriff and the diner owner's wife are starting to figure out that something doesn't quite add up.  Although they have known humble, aw-shucks Tom for twenty years, and had been reluctant to believe him to be anything other than the the lovable churchgoin' family man has always seemed to be, they are a bit suspicious that he moves like a ninja and has been able to dispose of five professional killers smoother than Charles Bronson on his best day. They reason that the only possible explanation is that he really is Joey Cusack.

Is he? You'll need to watch the film to determine that.

This is an excellent and suspenseful mystery, as well as an audience-satisfying revenge thriller in the Charles Bronson mode, but I don't believe I would have guessed the identity of the director if I had not already known it. It's like Cronenberg has been watching some Sam Peckinpah films and decided to make one of his own. You just know Warren Oates would have played one of the desperadoes if he were still alive.

I'm not sure why the critics have felt a need to justify their positive response to the film by assigning it alleged layers of depth and artistic merit. Frankly, that's reading way too much into it. It's a terrific film, but it's not deep or realistic or nuanced or artistic. It's a comic book adaptation, fer chrissakes! It is a helluva bloodlust film, though. It glorifies the use of violence at appropriate times, then it makes us enjoy the violence against the characters we hate, and then it rubs our noses into our own bloodlust and tells us to be ashamed of the pleasure we just felt. The reaction of the critics, the need to make the film more than that, proves a point in itself. We like to see violence used against bullies. We root for the bullies to get hurt badly, even killed, but we do not like to admit it. Not many critics are willing to admit that they simply enjoyed the skillful way the film satisfied their bloodlust, so they need to sublimate that barbaric reaction into something which seems to reflect the brighter angels of their nature.

Well, I liked the violence, dammit. I'm not a violent person, but I got a rush during this film when the diner owner's wimpy son stood up to the high school bully, and I actually enjoyed seeing the wise-ass get his face pounded to a bloody pulp. You know what? I was disappointed when he stopped! I enjoyed watching some of the film's other baddies meet their fates as well. And then I hated myself for feeling that way. That is the great achievement in Cronenberg's direction of this film - that he manages to make us love the extreme violence, thus proving that each of us, no matter how much he pretends to be Tom the diner owner, has a Joey Cusack inside of him.

Oh, well, while I'm at it, two more tries at Maria. Not really much better or worse than yesterday's.

Crimson Ghost

Captures and comments from the Ghost.

Syren Smiles in Sex Games Vegas


Zipped .avis, caps, and comments by ICMS


Hello !
Isabella Ferrari is a prolific and successful actress in her native Italy. In "Cronaca di un amore violato" (1996) aka "Le Journal de Luca" and "Diary of a Rapist," she plays the part of a teacher. She gets in big trouble when one of her pupils develops a crush on her and wants more. She brushes him off professionally but the guy is a real sicko and doesn't take no for an answer. I think you've already guessed what's going to happen next.
In the following 6 clips (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6), Isabella is in for a hard bargain, so don't download them if you are sensitive about this kind of material. In one of the clips though she runs out in the street stark naked trying in vain to escape her tormentor. I thought of only sending in the public nudity sequence but decided against it because it would take the whole scene out of its context. BTW you can find caps from the entire scene in Charlie's section.
That will be enough of this kind of stuff for a while anyway.


A tribute to hardcore legend Annette Haven
Shadow Dancer: April Breneman
Shadow Dancer: Cara von Landingham
Shadow Dancer: JJ Mantia
Shadow Dancer: Kim Dawson
Lover's Leap: Carrie Westcott
Lover's Leap: Fawna McLaren
Lover's Leap: Sara Suzanne Brown
The American Angels: Jan McKenzie
Kissing a Dream: Tracy Dali
The turn-on: Maria Ford
Intimate Deception: Lisa Boyle
Intimate Deception: Nicole Gian
Different Strokes: Gabriella Hall
Different Strokes: Landon Hall
Different Strokes: Landon Hall and Dana Plato
Moontrap: Leigh Lombardi


Caps and comments by Tom

Today I received the uncut version of Immoral Tales and have made some additional captures you don´t have yet. Some clumsy edits make it look as if this film were once even more explicit, but I don't know if that's true, or how to get the real, original version.

The most explicit scene is the "bead scene".
From Florence Bellamy there is not much more to see in the uncut version

The next batch consists of captures from the film The Love School of Josefine Mutzenbacher, directed by Hans Billian.

I think there is also a hardcore version, but these are the most erotic and explicit captures from the 87 minute softcore version.

Scoop's note - quoted from the Vienna Guide

"Josefine Mutzenbacher was a Viennese prostitute in the second half of the 19th century who most succesfully made her way up by love and lust. Her 'memoirs' were written in the old Cafe Griensteidl by Felix Salten (author of world-famous "Bambi") and are still on the list of bestsellers in the field of erotic literature."

Stacey Donovan
Desiree Bernardy
both of the above
Here are some hardcore captures of the film Pussycat Syndrome with Ajita Wilson. These are the only hardcore scenes I've ever seen from this film, and there are no other explicit scenes in the film!


'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we take a look at 3-Way

 First up is Roxana Zal with nice topless titties.
 Then Joy Bryant with lovemaking toplessness.
Ali Larter is getting it from behind, but you will have to use your imagination as nothing is really seen.
Wrapping it up with a leg show from Gina Gershon and then Gina becomes a "Babe in Bondage" with duct tape and  - Damn! -her clothes still left on.


She's gorgeous; she's talented; she's nutty as a fruitcake. Anne Heche
Yet another entry into the Elodie Bouchez nudity filmography, Full Speed. (A Toute Vitesse) She had done nudity in 16 films before she turned 30, but she's not our girl any more.
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap

PBS to Air "Twentieth Century House" Mini-Series.
  • "The families will be living in adjoining town houses, fitted to appear and function just as they would have in pre-Millennium America."

"The people of Belgium have been left reeling by the first adult-only episode of the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes." ... so ... it's, like, a pro-war thing?

Here is that video of the Smurfs being firebombed

Terminator Will Be Back. "Nick Stahl, who starred as John Connor in the third film, is signed for two more sequels."

Late Night offers exclusive previews of the new Fall Season.

Five clips from Affleck's new movie, Man About Town.

The trailer for the re-release of Antonioni's The Passenger

A new clip from The Weather Man

The trailer from The President's Last Bang

  • "A private dinner party for the President of South Korea and his three closest confidants — his Chief Bodyguard, his Chief Secretary, and the Director of the Korean CIA ... A struggle between the three for the President’s influence... When the night's female entertainment arrives — the pop singer of the moment and a budding starlet — the KCIA Director leaves the room and announces to his stunned agents that he's going to shoot their President... 24 hours that shocked and changed South Korea forever is brought to the screen by Director Im Sangsoo in The President's Last Bang

Wallace and Gromit, as reviewed by the man who believes "the cashiers do cinema" - The Filthy Critic

Irish author beats favourites to land Britain's Booker Prize. ... "Irish author John Banville beat higher profile favourites Julian Barnes, Kazuo Ishiguro and Zadie Smith to become the surprise winner of Britain's prestigious Booker Prize for fiction."

Do "close door" buttons on elevators ever actually work?

  • QUOTE O' THE DAY: "I visited Otis Elevator HQ last spring and had to walk up to the second floor because the elevator was out of order."

URL says it all: ToplessSportsNews.com

Another re-cut trailer. This one for Cabin Fever as a weepy chixploitation film.

Witherspoon's paparazzo charged with child endangerment. While he tried to get pictures, Mr Wallace bunped his camera into a tiny little person with a scrunched-up face. Oh, wait, that was Reese Witherspoon. Well, a kid was involved somehow.

Now THIS is a yacht. Is it true that the yacht of Abdul Aziz is slightly larger than Belgium? I don't know, maybe. It has 82 rooms. How many does Belgium have?

In a major departure from his current career trend, Al Pacino is set to talk very loud and act cocky in a new crime thriller entitled '88 Minutes'

London To Get Sexual 'Theme Park.' I was planning my next vacation until I read a quote from a spokesman, who said, "Titillation is not the goal." Note to investors: hire new spokesman.

Robert Novak, impartial & discreet patrio-journalist, takes your questions - the little Douchebag of Liberty tells it straight to whitehouse.org

How can the homeless get paid, just for being homeless?

Carmen Electra apparently blurts out the N word during ecstatic moments in the bedroom. So claims wacky ex-NBA star Dennis Rodman. Yeah, she did the same thing with me. Damnedest thing.

The Anglosphere is celebrating the wrong Italian explorer.

  • "Columbus's voyage was very specifically the initiation of the contact between Spain and Spanish America. The English-speaking world, on the other hand, began its expansion into North America as a consequence of John Cabot's voyage of 1497."
  • "John Cabot" is actually Giovanni Caboto - another Italian, so there's no shift of ethnic allegiance, and he not only initiated the English presence in North America, but also should be rightly celebrated for beginning the steady stream of Italians whose migration to English-speaking countries has enriched all concerned.

Save The Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. You know there were going to be problems when they got those massive Japanese communities in the Northwest. They were filming their Octopus porn, and then ... the escape. Now the Octopus porn has to be filmed in the tree-tops by Ang Lee. (Don't miss his next film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Octopus

X-Entertainment's Halloween Countdown -- 2005!

Cops are grappling with an escalating epidemic of Vaseline-covered girl-on-girl violence in Boston. Wait! They're stopping that?

Sam Giancana had JFK whacked - says Sam's daughter. Of course, you might get a different idea if I wrote the headline like this: "Sam Giancana had JFK whacked, says 70-year-old Home Depot clerk." She works as a sales associate at an Expo Design Center (a division of Home Depot), selling lawn furniture and BBQ grills.

"Natalie Wood once stormed out of Presley's bedroom, complaining that The King didn't know how to screw." I don't know about that, but it seems like he had the hip motions down pretty well.

Minnesota governor says "It's time to drop the fuck,", and is promptly recruited to run for office in New Jersey next time.

Harriet Miers donated to Hillary Clinton and Tom DeLay's opponent in 2000. The right wing nutters are none too pleased with her nomination, and the left wing nutters find her unqualified. She seems to be an independent and relatively non-partisan thinker with no axe to grind for any particular ideology - thus obviously disqualifying her from the Supreme Court!

  • If I were a left-wing nutter, I would confirm her faster than Dick Cheney's heartbeat after three flights of stairs, and I would thank whatever gods might be available for Roberts and Miers, because it could have been so much worse.
  • Dudes, if you lose her, Bork is still available. He is still a very healthy 78, well-rested, extremely well qualified, and ready. In fact, Bork has specifically declared that the Miers nomination is, "a disaster on every level" because she has "no experience with constitutional law whatever", and that her nomination is a "slap in the face" to conservatives.


Here's the trailer for Jarhead, the new Sam Mendes film about the Gulf War.

DEMOCRATIC PARTY TURNS TO HOLLYWOOD TALENT AGENCIES TO CAST SCHWARZENEGGER'S OPPONENT ... Rob Reiner turned down for audition due to "Meathead" typecasting

PARAMOUNT SIGNS THREE PICTURE DEAL WITH CRUISE-HOLMES FETUS ... "Studio already using ultrasound of unborn child in upcoming comedy"

Katie Holmes has dumped her publicist Leslie Sloane-Zelnick in favour of Tom Cruise's sister. Katie had been with Sloane-Zelnick for nine years.

A quick site note
Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!