NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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"Road Movie" (1974)

Road Movie, one of the minor releases today, is pretty much a forgotten film. There are no on line reviews of any kind, and it is still awaiting 5 votes at IMDB. I don't understand why this film has been so overlooked. Perhaps it is because it is not bad enough to attract the bad movie fans, and perhaps it is the unsettling realism the film portrays. The film concerns two Gypsy (independent) long haul truckers, and a prostitute they pick up at a truck stop, who is exchanging sex for $50.00 and a ride to Chicago. The truckers are scrambling to get loads, and deliver them in the face of prejudice from union truckers, thieves, corrupt weigh station cops and equipment they have to maintain themselves. The hooker is at the bottom of the food chain, beneath Call Girls and street walkers, and spends her life on the road and in truck stops, often being abused by the truckers.

Director Joseph Strick worked one summer as a trucker, and told a story he was personally familiar with. The hooker was played to perfection by Regina Baff (The Paper Chase, The Great Gatsby). She is furious at life, and at all of the men that abused her. She is looking to get by, and has a kind streak, but is more than willing and able to use all of her assets, including her body and her straight razor, to take care of herself. Regina shows photo booth images of her breasts at one point, and spends the entire film with her nipples poking through her blouse. This film was obviously made on a very low budget, but has a lot to say, and manages to say it.

  • Thumbnails

  • Regina Baff (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "Guantanamera" (1994)

    Guantanamera is a beautiful film from director Tomás Gutiérrez Alea (who died before it was finished) and Juan Carlos Tabío. It is in Spanish with English sub-titles, but is worth the effort. As the story opens, a famous singer has just returned home to Guantanamera from Havana. Meanwhile, her niece's husband, who is a petty bureaucrat and the regional undertaker is at a meeting of all regions, and pushing his plan to regain his former status in the government. The problem at hand is how corpses should be transferred to distant regions for burial. Most like the present system, where they are taken by hearse from their place of death to where they are to be buried. Adolpho's brilliant plan is to have them carried from one region to the next, then transferred to a hearse owned by the new region, sort of like a relay race.

    As the negotiations are completing, he receives word that his aunt has died in the arms of her lover, who had been waiting for her for 50 years. Now, he has to try his new plan with his own relative. They set out in a state car with a driver, the husband, the wife (who is a former Economics professor, and the dead aunt's lover, to follow the hearse. At the same time, two truckers are also heading from Guantanamo to Havana. One of the two is a ladies man, and former student of the economics professor. He has always had a crush on her, and she lives a rather unfulfilled life married to the petty bureaucrat. There are no end of hilarious misadventures and plot twist, all involving these basic characters. Played primarily for humor, the film also gives an accurate picture of Cuba, and says volumes about the resilience of the human spirit and the nature of love.

    If sub-titles don't ruin a film for you, give this one a try.

  • Thumbnails

  • Idalmis Del Rio (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Johnny Web

    "Evil Ambitions, aka The Satanic Yuppies" (1996)

    How many times have you watched an overblown, overproduced studio production like Coppola's "Dracula" and thought to yourself "I could make a better movie than that in my basement with my friends"?

    Well, the makers of this film thought the same thing. They took a few grand and made a homemade video.

    In all honesty, the film does have one strength. It has a good script. It's basically an r-rated version of a "Night Stalker" episode. (The main reporter character is even named McGavin). The plot is coherent, some of the characters are interesting, and there are some very funny lines.

    High priestess: "Do you take Satan to be your lawful spouse, in richer and even richer ..... etc"

    Bound and gagged victim: (makes fearful struggling noises).

    High priestess: "I'll take that as a yes"

    Satan himself is also funny, the ultimate achievement-oriented corporate guy, kind of similar to the Christian Bale role in American Psycho. And the Kolchak-like reporter has some pretty good wisecracks.

    Real movie companies, with real budgets, have filmed worse scripts than this. Much worse.

    But then there's the matter of the execution. The lighting is funky and too dark. The fight scenes involve people falling off-camera. The special effects consist of people leaning backward.

    The acting is, well ....

    Let's just say this is your movie if you go to porno films because you really love the acting, but you actually hate porn. Most of the lines are delivered with the same flat monotone that you'd expect from local furniture store owners reading their own TV commercials from cue cards.

    Oh, well. The script is still OK for a few laughs, and could have been pretty good if only professionals had delivered the lines.

    There are four women, all pretty obscure, but pretty good lookers, who show some flesh at various times in this film, breasts only, not alway in good light. The filmmakers claim that Lucy Frashure was in one of those Bunnymag Lingerie things.

    IMDB summary: 9.5 out of 10. This must make it the best movie of all time. Of course, it's only based on six votes, and I think you can assume they all worked on the movie.

    I don't think any retailers have this video, but you can buy it directly from the filmmakers here. These are the same people that made that enduring salute to The Bard, "Live Nude Shakespeare", and the deeply touching "Chickboxin' Underground".

  • Ballard
  • Frasure
  • Laub
  • Wilke

    Today's obscure Eurostuff from TomCat

  • Laura Antonelli in 1974's "Till Marriage do us Part". (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Brainscan
    Katherine Heigl

    Buffy Fake?

    Amy Lindsey

    Danielle Ouimet

    Comments by Brainscan:
    So we got your good news and your bad news. Katherine Heigl. Good news. In a wet shirt. Better news. With her hands AWAY from her boobs. Very good news, indeed. Bad news? You still can't see a friggin, froggin thing.

    Still more bad news... I think. Fake Detective seems to conclude now that the see thru Sarah isn't real. Or at least that's my interpretation, but then the FD seems to be writing less transparently than the shirt SMG's wearing. What do you think?

    And a couple of editing jobs on others' vidcaps. Tuna's caps of Amy Lindsey in Perfumed Garden were a slam-dunk (kudos to the fish boy), whereas Frenchpics caps of Danielle Ouimet in l'Initiation took a bit more work. But she's a honey and worth the effort.

    Snappy Pappy
    Griffin Drew
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Maureen Flaherty
    (1, 2)

    Ashlie Rhey

    Comments by Snappy Pappy:
    I finally finished capping the 1997 Pulitzer Prize winning flick "Bikini Hoe Down", the movie that proves that even if women have only known each other for a day, they will still wash each other in a group shower. I must say my favorite was Griffin Drew. I have always had, as I'm sure many of us have, a farmer's daughter fantasy. She's the ideal farmer's daughter character too, although I highly doubt a farmer's daughter would be as white as Griffin with all the arduous outdoor work and sweating and what not. But I digress. The other's didn't appeal to me as much, especially Shayna Ryan. Large and false though her breasts may be, her face has this weird Bette Midler/Peggy Bundy mix to it. Ugh.
    Ana Paula Tabalipa
    (1, 2)
    An excellent offering of Brazilian celebs by Adore. First, here is Ana Paula topless in scenes from the mini series "Luña Caliente".
    Danielle Winnitz
    (1, 2, 3)
    #1 has Danielle nekkid on all fours, in #2 we see her acting out the same child hood fantasies most of us had. You know, put a towel around your neck to make a super hero cape! Only difference is that she's doing it while wearing only the cape. #3 has Danielle doing some topless sunbathing from "Uga Uga".
    Catarina Furtado No nudity in these 'caps from "O Lampião da Estrela". But the super cleavage busting out of the wonderbra just does something for me.
    Delphine Pacific Great 'caps of the beautiful Asian actress going topless in scenes from "The Price of Desire".
    Elizabeth Berkley Playing Al Pacino's expensive hooker from "Any Given Sunday". Naturally, she took her clothes off.
    Janine Lindemulder
    (1, 2, 3)
    The hardcore lesbian porno queen, doing some simulated sex scenes with a dude from the soft core movie "The Price of Desire". For the financially curious...I saw Desire being auctioned on Ebay. So as of yesterday, the price of desire is $551.50. But there are still 6 days left to bid!
    Kim Yates
    (1, 2)
    Showin' off just about everything. Also from "The Price of Desire"
    Kira Reed
    (1, 2, 3)
    One of the queens of Skinemax! Here she is doing what she does best in scenes from "Losing Control".
    Markie Post Almost showing the goods from unknown TV movie "Visitors of the Night". Apparently it was about alien abduction. I guess the scenes here are part of the usual alien examination cliche. Sorry, sci-fi fans...no anal probing.
    Kim van Kooten Topless, as well as a sex scene from the Dutch movie "Jezus is een Palestijn".
    Pia Zadora
    (1, 2, 3)
    Seriously, is she even a celebrity? What does she do? Most of the movies she's been in she plays herself. Is she big in Vegas? And who actually likes her? Regardless...here she is exposing her boobs and her bum from 1981's "Butterfly".
    Caren Kaye
    (1, 2)
    From "My Tutor". I remember the old days of cable....back when we only had 1 station for each of the movie networks. Back in the 80's it seemed like this movie was on every 8 hours. Almost as often as "Dirty Dancing".
    and ...
    Gail Porter
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    10 great scans of the busty Scottish actress/model form her calendar, by Cavey. Lots of bikini stuff and other teasers, but #9 is features Gail in a soaking wet, white t-shirt (is there any other kind?)
    Anna Falchi
    (1, 2)
    Excellent new nudes of Anna from one of the various Euro versions of Maxim. Not sure which one, but I do know that it's not the version in my local checkout lane
    Romy Schneider
    (1, 2, 3)
    Three of the late Austrian actress by Arthur Figgis. #3 features vidcaps from 1975's "Les Innocents aux mains sales". Personally I kinda like #1.
    Nicole Harrison
    (1, 2)
    From way in the back of the Vault of Obscurity...an unknown actress from an unknown movie. But at least there is plenty of frontal nudity in these scenes from the 1982 movie "American Taboo"
    Penélope Cruz Another collage of topless paparazzi pics of the beautiful Spanish actress.
    Britney Spears Bikini top at the beach.
    Sharon Stone Excellent 'caps from the Stallone movie "The Specialist".
    The Funnies
    From the mailbag...

    You've got to love New Yorkers-at least on this occasion!

    A Kentucky Fried Chicken location in New York City has a special on what they are calling the "Bucket of Hillary":
    Two small breasts,
    Two large thighs,
    and a bunch of left wings.

    From Number 6....
    A Prayer for the Stressed!
    Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.

    And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

    Help me to always give 100% at work....
    12% on Monday
    23% on Tuesday
    40% on Wednesday
    20% on Thursday
    5% on Fridays

    And help me to remember.....
    When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to pull my sniper rifle trigger and blow them away.


    Click Here!