Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Scarecrow (1973):

I can tell you everything you need to know about Scarecrow in one short paragraph. It is a rural version of Midnight Cowboy, about two homeless guys who can't seem to make any progress toward their modest dreams. Gene Hackman plays the part of Jon Voight. Al Pacino plays the part of Dustin Hoffman. Pittsburgh plays the part of Miami.

That's it.

Really. There is no more to say. There are not many points of difference between the two films. Like Midnight Cowboy, it concentrates on the development of the main characters to the exclusion of plot. Like Midnight Cowboy, it is picaresque and some of the episodes go on too long. Like Midnight Cowboy, it ends with a bus ride. The crafty Ratso guy doesn't make it. The big dumb guy does.

End of story.

Pacino and Hackman were already on the A-list at the time Scarecrow was made. This film came out two years after the French Connection, and the year after The Godfather. They never got along that well, and they disagreed about the merit of the project. Hackman has said that his performance in Scarecrow is his own personal favorite, but Pacino never felt that their on-screen chemistry was convincing. In his biography he stated:

"Gene and I are two people not very similar. We had to play a very close relationship, but I just didn't think we were as connected as we should have been. We seemed apart. We didn't have altercations, we didn't hate each other. But we didn't communicate, didn't think in the same terms. Gene and I were thrown together, but under ordinary circumstances we'd never cavort or be friends. It was two worlds - but I have to say that I was as much responsible as he was."

If you like pessimistic, meandering, character-based 70s films about the disenfranchised, it is executed to heartbreaking perfection here, both by the actors and cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. It won the Palme d'Or at Cannes, but was ignored by audiences and by the American academy, and subsequently forgotten. To my knowledge it has never before been available in its theatrical aspect ratio, and it looks great.

If you don't warm to the thought of such a film, you'll find Scarecrow to have no appeal at all, because it simply does not compromise or reach out to you. I tend to agree with Pacino. The project never really seemed to click for me. I kept looking at my watch. It is basically a European-style art film, and stays true to its vision, although that fact is somewhat disguised by the presence of two big stars.

Hey, in the 70s that could happen!!!!!


  • It represents Eileen Brennan's only screen nudity.

Eileen Brennan


Innocent Lies (1995):

Innocent Lies could be used for an exam in Film Appreciation 101. Here's how it would work. You watch the film until all the major characters are introduced. Then, if you can not figure out all the secrets of the past and everything that will happen in the future, your degree is denied.

A detective from England visits a French coastal town because to attend the funeral of a close friend, and because he's curious about the  friend's alleged suicide. He ends up turning a suspicious eye on an aristocratic family which is filled with the usual stock characters and situations for all decadent European movie aristocrats in the 1930's: incest, fratricide, Nazi sympathies, anti-semitism, dark family secrets, and insanity.

I don't think they had any relatives locked in the attic, but I may have missed that because I was just so bored. In addition to the gothic premise, Innocent Lies is saddled with all the worst elements of the worst British movies: lifelessness, excessive talkiness, slow pacing, irrelevant dithering with sub-plots, monotonous voices, and sheer tedium. To make matters even worse, the director felt it was necessary to use some footage again and again, despite the fact that it wasn't interesting to begin with.

If your doctor tells you that you have only 88 minutes to live, you should watch this, because it will seem like 20 years.

  • Not much nudity, either. Here's Gabrielle Anwar...

    Gabrielle Anwar

These are the actresses from the film Glykia symmoria (1983)

Director Nikos Nikolaidis has his own hand-made website for all of his films, including this one. The page includes screenshots (some with nudity), reviews, and various miscellany.

Despina Tomazani

Thora Masklavanou

Polycrati Lenia

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we spend a little time with one of my favorite B-movie girls, Glori-Anne Gilbert in a really bad movie"The Thing Below". Glori-Anne as usual unveils those fabulous Robo-Hooters, the rest of the movie you can skip.

Glori-Anne Gilbert

Some "Hankster Light" with Jennifer Aniston in "Picture Perfect". Nothing special, just Jennifer being cute. Love the legs in the office chair!

Jennifer Aniston

'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"High" (1967)
Canadian drugsloitation about hippies and free love which was initially banned in Canada.

Astri Thorvik: breasts in threesome.

Joyce Cay: full frontal in threesome.

unknown: various boob and butt.

"Mad Doctor of Blood Island" (1968)
Horror shot in the Philippines. There is a rumor of an x-rated version with Star Trek babe Angelique Pettyjohn in an unsimulated sex scene but only the television version is available on DVD.

Angelique Pettyjohn: boob and butt in sex scene.

Alicia Alonzo: filipino actress showing boob and butt.

unknown: full frontal doing the streak.

"A Real Young Girl" (1976)
Film by the controversial Romance director Catherine Breillat which didn't see the light of day in the United States until 2001. Charlotte Alexandra sticks various objects up her vagina.

Charlotte Alexandra: extreme gyncocam.

Alexandra Gouveia: almost falling out of bikini.

unknown: explicit upskirt.

L Word Season II
Season two is being released to DVD October 25.

Stefanie von Pfetten: breast peak having lesbian sex in episode "Lagrimas de Oro".

"The Love Crimes of Gillian Guess" (2004)
An update from last week's Funhouse. Tammy Morris is the blonde showgirl. She is best known as the homewrecker behind the breakup of Bennifer Afflect's engagement to J-Lo.

Tammy Morris: topless with pasties.

Hi Scoopy!

I just had the idea to combine two similar pix of Lysette Anthony from "Save Me" into a 3D view. Surely I am no wizard. My pic is rather a proof of concept than a piece of art, but the idea is interesting: take two pix in a sequence where the camera moves and put the together to get a cross-eye 3D pic.

I'd love to see what some of the 'capping wizards out there can do with this concept.


Lysette Anthony

Here are a couple of great collages featuring Carla Gugino nekkid in several scenes from the Robert Rodriguez movie "Sin City".

Carla Gugino

Shana Hiatt...the co-host of "World Poker Tour" going full frontal and having some pseudo-sex on the beach in scenes from "The Girls of Hawaiian Tropic, Naked in Paradise" (1995). Thanks to Starbase.

Shana Hiatt

The Skin-man takes a look at the recent direct-to-vid release of "Carlito's Way: Rise to Power". Scoop hit a bullseye with his review when he wrote this this is a pretty good movie and one of the better direct-to-vid movies ever released.

He also got it right when he mentioned the one really big downside to this flick...other than the name 'Carlito', it has pretty much nothing to do with "Carlito's Way".

Still...a very good watch, plus it has some nice nudity to boot!

Jaclyn DeSantis

Julie McNiven

Misha Sedgwick

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap
Oops! Wisconsin was missing one key ingredient of a good team. A little thing I like to call defense. They allowed Northwestern to score on seven straight possessions, and to amass nearly 700 yards of offense. Northwestern scored 27 in the third quarter alone, and their freshman running back romped for 244 yards.

Daily Box Office - Friday, October 7.

  • Wallace and Gromit took the top spot as expected
  • In Her Shoes disappointed, and was not able to wrest the #2 spot from Flightplan
  • The big surprise was that film I never heard of until last Tuesday. The Gospel absolutely kicked ass and doubled the per theater revenues of the next best film. WTF?
  • And the next best film, based on revenues per theater, was Waiting! which defied all expectations and finished a respectable sixth.
  • The third best film in terms of revenues per screen was Two For the Money, the sports gambling flick with Pacino.
  • The fourth best in "per screen" revenues was A History of Violence.
  • In case you haven't been scoring at home, Wallace and Gromit did not do that well on a per-screen basis.
  • In general, exhibitors found themselves with Corpse Bride on way too many screens (3000), as interest in it has flagged

"Only 28 percent say the country is headed in the right direction while two-thirds, 66 percent, say it is on the wrong track"

  • "Those most likely to have lost confidence about the nationís direction over the past year include white evangelicals, down 30 percentage points, Republican women, 28 points, Southerners, 26 points" (Punctuation taken directly from the original)

Many people say that the new Iraqi currency has been heavily influenced by the USA, but it's not really apparent. I think the influence is mostly in the anti-counterfeiting measures and other technical elements. For example, I'm holding the trillion dinar note right now, and I can see a highly sophisticated new watermark technique right between the pictures of Joanie and Chachi.

  • Oh, and I just noticed. There is a new alphanumeric identification system just below the picture of Jesus

Funny VIDEO: Groucho Marx interviews a naive young couple on You Bet Your Life. Groucho gets in some good zingers.

Jesus to host the next Apprentice spin-off, "Miracle Workers".

  • He's down one disciple since that messy Judas episode - and the new 12th man could be you!

Bill Bennett to head up National Genital Mutilation Day for black women

An hilarious video from a game show named Catch Phrase

Judge Dismisses Snipes Paternity Suit, based on the very tenuous legal technicality that Snipes isn't the father. What is the country coming to when the truth interferes with our God-given right to sue?

Conan talks to U2 fans.

Four clips from Kinky Boots.

  • "Charlie Price faces the impending shut down of the Northampton shoe factory that his family has owned and operated for generations. Just when he feels that all is lost, he has a chance encounter with Lola, a flamboyant transvestite cabaret star. Lola's desire for stylish, kinky boots for herself and her colleagues provides a glimmer of hope for the factory and its employees."

The international trailer for The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada.

  • Directed by Tommy Lee Jones
  • "A man is shot and quickly buried in the high desert of west Texas. The body is found and reburied in Van Horn's town cemetery. Pete Perkins, a local ranch foreman, kidnaps a Border Patrolman and forces him to disinter the body. With his captive in tow and the body tied to a mule, Pete undertakes a dangerous and quixotic journey into Mexico."

Ig Nobels announced. Pooch Neuticles win!

  • "The Ig Nobel for literature went to the Nigerians who introduced millions of e-mail users to a cast of rich characters ... each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled."

China to develop its own DVD format. As Andy Warhol might have noted, in the future everyone will have his own DVD format for 15 minutes.

"HBO is actively poisoning the BitTorrent downloads of the new show Rome." "In addition to an older tactic of offering bogus downloads that never complete, HBO is now obstructing the downloads offered by other people."

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