I can tell you everything you need to know about Scarecrow in one short paragraph. It is a rural version of Midnight Cowboy, about two homeless guys who can't seem to make any progress toward their modest dreams. Gene Hackman plays the part of Jon Voight. Al Pacino plays the part of Dustin Hoffman. Pittsburgh plays the part of Miami.

That's it.

Really. There is no more to say. There are not many points of difference between the two films. Like Midnight Cowboy, it concentrates on the development of the main characters to the exclusion of plot. Like Midnight Cowboy, it is picaresque and some of the episodes go on too long. Like Midnight Cowboy, it ends with a bus ride. The crafty Ratso guy doesn't make it. The big dumb guy does.

End of story.

Pacino and Hackman were already on the A-list at the time Scarecrow was made. This film came out two years after the French Connection, and the year after The Godfather. They never got along that well, and they disagreed about the merit of the project. Hackman has said that his performance in Scarecrow is his own personal favorite, but Pacino never felt that their on-screen chemistry was convincing. In his biography he stated:

"Gene and I are two people not very similar. We had to play a very close relationship, but I just didn't think we were as connected as we should have been. We seemed apart. We didn't have altercations, we didn't hate each other. But we didn't communicate, didn't think in the same terms. Gene and I were thrown together, but under ordinary circumstances we'd never cavort or be friends. It was two worlds - but I have to say that I was as much responsible as he was."

If you like pessimistic, meandering, character-based 70s films about the disenfranchised, it is executed to heartbreaking perfection here, both by the actors and cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond. It won the Palme d'Or at Cannes, but was ignored by audiences and by the American academy, and subsequently forgotten. To my knowledge it has never before been available in its theatrical aspect ratio, and it looks great.

If you don't warm to the thought of such a film, you'll find Scarecrow to have no appeal at all, because it simply does not compromise or reach out to you. I tend to agree with Pacino. The project never really seemed to click for me. I kept looking at my watch. It is basically a European-style art film, and stays true to its vision, although that fact is somewhat disguised by the presence of two big stars.

Hey, in the 70s that could happen!!!!!

• It represents Eileen Brennan's only screen nudity.

Eileen Brennan

Unknown

Innocent Lies (1995):

Innocent Lies could be used for an exam in Film Appreciation 101. Here's how it would work. You watch the film until all the major characters are introduced. Then, if you can not figure out all the secrets of the past and everything that will happen in the future, your degree is denied.

A detective from England visits a French coastal town because to attend the funeral of a close friend, and because he's curious about the  friend's alleged suicide. He ends up turning a suspicious eye on an aristocratic family which is filled with the usual stock characters and situations for all decadent European movie aristocrats in the 1930's: incest, fratricide, Nazi sympathies, anti-semitism, dark family secrets, and insanity.

I don't think they had any relatives locked in the attic, but I may have missed that because I was just so bored. In addition to the gothic premise, Innocent Lies is saddled with all the worst elements of the worst British movies: lifelessness, excessive talkiness, slow pacing, irrelevant dithering with sub-plots, monotonous voices, and sheer tedium. To make matters even worse, the director felt it was necessary to use some footage again and again, despite the fact that it wasn't interesting to begin with.

If your doctor tells you that you have only 88 minutes to live, you should watch this, because it will seem like 20 years.

• Not much nudity, either. Here's Gabrielle Anwar...
  
  Gabrielle Anwar

Director Nikos Nikolaidis has his own hand-made website for all of his films, including this one. The page includes screenshots (some with nudity), reviews, and various miscellany.

Despina Tomazani

Thora Masklavanou

Polycrati Lenia

Today we spend a little time with one of my favorite B-movie girls, Glori-Anne Gilbert in a really bad movie"The Thing Below". Glori-Anne as usual unveils those fabulous Robo-Hooters, the rest of the movie you can skip.

Glori-Anne Gilbert

Some "Hankster Light" with Jennifer Aniston in "Picture Perfect". Nothing special, just Jennifer being cute. Love the legs in the office chair!

Jennifer Aniston

"High" (1967)
Canadian drugsloitation about hippies and free love which was initially banned in Canada.

Astri Thorvik: breasts in threesome.

Joyce Cay: full frontal in threesome.

unknown: various boob and butt.

"Mad Doctor of Blood Island" (1968)
Horror shot in the Philippines. There is a rumor of an x-rated version with Star Trek babe Angelique Pettyjohn in an unsimulated sex scene but only the television version is available on DVD.

Angelique Pettyjohn: boob and butt in sex scene.

Alicia Alonzo: filipino actress showing boob and butt.

unknown: full frontal doing the streak.

"A Real Young Girl" (1976)
Film by the controversial Romance director Catherine Breillat which didn't see the light of day in the United States until 2001. Charlotte Alexandra sticks various objects up her vagina.

Charlotte Alexandra: extreme gyncocam.

Alexandra Gouveia: almost falling out of bikini.

unknown: explicit upskirt.

L Word Season II
Season two is being released to DVD October 25.

Stefanie von Pfetten: breast peak having lesbian sex in episode "Lagrimas de Oro".

"The Love Crimes of Gillian Guess" (2004)
An update from last week's Funhouse. Tammy Morris is the blonde showgirl. She is best known as the homewrecker behind the breakup of Bennifer Afflect's engagement to J-Lo.

Tammy Morris: topless with pasties.

I just had the idea to combine two similar pix of Lysette Anthony from "Save Me" into a 3D view. Surely I am no wizard. My pic is rather a proof of concept than a piece of art, but the idea is interesting: take two pix in a sequence where the camera moves and put the together to get a cross-eye 3D pic.

I'd love to see what some of the 'capping wizards out there can do with this concept.

-maxhead

He also got it right when he mentioned the one really big downside to this flick...other than the name 'Carlito', it has pretty much nothing to do with "Carlito's Way".

Still...a very good watch, plus it has some nice nudity to boot!

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

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