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"Deadly Drifter" (1982)

Deadly Drifter (1982) is called Out at IMDB. Very little information is available under either name. Maltin awards 2 1/2 stars, and IMDB readers say 4.8/10. One of the two who commented clearly understood the film much better than I did. As the film opens, Peter Coyote and a young girl are sneaking around, peek in a window, and see a young man tied to a chair, and a topless girl dancing around him with a knife. Peter lights a stick of dynamite and tosses it in, then Peter and the girl catch a cab, who takes them to group headquarters, where they use a combination of dice and alphabet soup to see what the next assignment is.

From there, the film gets seriously strange. Coyote starts off on a cross-country Odyssey ending in Santa Monica, California, and, along the way, develops psychic ability, partially thanks to something an Indian has him smoke. Also in the film are Danny Glover in a small part, and Olan Shephard. It is billed as absurdist, and I concur that it is absurd, but I did watch it beginning to end, largely because I was waiting for something I could understand to happen. D.

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  • Unknown (1, 2)

    "Psycho Beach Party" (2000)

    Psycho Beach Party (2000) is distributed by Troma in the US, but was not produced by them, and is made from a play. It is a spoof of Gidget and other beach party films, cheap slasher films, thrillers, and other genres. We have breasts from a body double for Charles Busch, who plays a female police captain, and a short but cute look at Amy Adams, when her boyfriend accidently pulls off her bathing suite bottoms. She is wearing a crotch patch (image 1), but we get a great look at her buns, and a hint of bush from behind as she runs off, hand covering her front, and plastic food basket covering her rear.

    The film is high camp and lowbrow humor, but got quite a few laughs from me. Apollo has it is the mid 60's, IMDB says 6.5/10, and I will give it a solid C in the exploitation/spoof genre. The DVD transfer is rather nice, and includes a feature length commentary.

  • Thumbnails

  • Amy Adams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Double (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Today is the day after the baseball season, the stats are finalized, and that means that it is the one day of the year when I discuss baseball over breasts


    Barry Bonds, 2001

    If you had asked me at the beginning of the 2001 season to name the most unbreakable significant records in baseball, they would have been the following:

    1. Babe Ruth slugged .847 in 1920 (and .846 in 1921!). In the 80 years since, nobody had ever challenged Ruth's supremacy. Nobody has ever come close. Gehrig never topped .765, Hornsby maxed out at .756. They came the closest. Foxx, Williams, McGwire, Sosa, and Bagwell have all topped .730, the only other men ever to do so. Imagine that - Ruth held the record by .082, despite the fact that players had 80 years to chase him. That is about like somebody batting .500.

    So what happens in 2001? Somebody named Bonds slugs .863, about a century better than any non-Ruth had ever hit. Again, that's about equivalent to batting .500.

    Joe DiMaggio never slugged higher than .673. Stan Musial never topped .702. Mantle's best was .705. 

    To put Bonds' season into perspective, the difference between Bonds in 2001 and DiMaggio's best season is about the same as the distance between DiMaggio and you. (Unless you happen to be Sammy Sosa). Bonds beat Joe D's best slugging average by .190. Joe D's lifetime slugging was .579. Take away .190, and the remaining .389 is nowhere near good enough to be a major league outfielder. That is something to think about. Think about Joe D. Think about how much better he is than you. Try to imagine the quantity represented by that difference. Store it for a moment. Now imagine the best season DiMag ever had, and realize than Bonds exceeded it by the massive, unimaginable quantity you tried to imagine. That's how good Bonds was. 

    Good enough to reopen the discussion of the best left-fielder ever. A couple years ago, I wrote that Bonds and Musial, as good as they were, were a level below Ted Williams. Bonds has certainly leapt past Musial

    Slugging OBP
    Bonds .419 .585
    Musial .418 .559

    Bonds is ahead of Staszu even before looking at fielding and running, but Bonds also has 484 lifetime stolen bases, and covers as much ground as anyone in left field.

    Stasz was probably a much nicer human being, but even if true, that doesn't really affect the facts.

    Ted Williams is still way out of Bonds' league in terms of lifetime production. Williams has an OBP of .483 (not a typo!), and slugged .634. But Bonds clearly has the speed and the fielding, which tends to level the comparison somewhat, so it's not easy to make a choice at this point. If Bonds turns out a couple more years similar to this, he will certainly earn my vote, even over Teddy Ballgame. Even Williams' epochal 1941 season pales next to Bonds in 2001.

    2. Babe Ruth had an OPS of 1.379 in 1920. The most important offensive stat in baseball is OPS, although nobody but statisticians know what it means or why it is so important. It represents on base percentage plus slugging average, and it is the single statistic which correlates most directly with run production.

    The syllogism goes like this

    • Ball games are won by the team with the most runs.
    • OPS most accurately measures and predicts a player's (or team's) ability to score runs.
    • Therefore, OPS tells us who contributes the most offensively to winning ball games.

    No other player ever topped 1.300, although Ted Williams came close in 1941.

    Bonds matched Ruth's 1.379. 


    Oh, yeah, and he did a few other things that were pretty impressive.

    • He hit 73 home runs, as you know, the all-time record.
    • He homered every 6.52 at bats, completely shattering the old record of 7.27 set by McGwire.
    • He had 107 extra base hits, tying the National League record. The National League has been around for 125 years.
    • He had an OBP of .515, the highest in the National League in the past 100 years. (The last National Leaguer to post a higher OBP was John McGraw!)
    • He drew 177 walks, breezing past another record that Ruth had held for nearly 80 years.

    By the way, neither Bonds not Sosa were able to manage a challenge to Babe's astronomical total of 457 total bases in one season. The Babe also drew 144 walks that year, and stole 17 bases, so he earned 618 bases on his own. Bonds had 411+177+13 = 601 bases on his own. Close, but no cigar on that one either. However, Babe came to the plate 684 times (at bats plus walks), Bonds 653, so Bonds beat the Babe per at bat. Bonds missed 9 games.

    This season will tell you a lot about the sportswriters. Those who are non-analytical, or racist, or just anti-Bonds, or nostalgic for their favorite era, or perhaps just plain dense, will argue that he didn't do that well, that he only had 137 RBI's, or blah, blah, blah.

    I suppose Barry Bonds is not a very genial guy. A lot of people don't want him to be great. 

    He is anyway.

    As I recall, Ty Cobb wasn't all that loveable either. But the sumbitch could hit some.

    But never as much as Bonds did this year.

    Not only was it the best offensive season in baseball history, but Bonds did it under difficult conditions.

    Bonds is 37 years old, for one thing. That's an age when guys are washed up, not setting new personal standards. He beat his previous high by 24 homers.

    Here's what some Hall of Famers did at age 37:

    • Mel Ott hit one homer and knocked in four runs. He had his last good year at age 33, and that was against diluted wartime pitching. He had his last 100 RBI year at age 29! 
    • Jimmy Foxx hit 7 homers and knocked in 38 against diluted wartime pitching, called back to the game after having missed an entire season three years earlier. He had his last thirty homer year at age 32, hit only 15 homers after his 34th birthday.
    • Eddie Mathews was fishing. His last good year was at age 33. His last 100 RBI year was at age 28!

    And those are all guys with more than 500 lifetime homers! The modern athletes have redefined the aging process.

    More important, Bonds plays in a pitchers' paradise, and opponents pitch around him. His season is much better than it appears, unlikely though that may sound. His Giants scored and allowed only about 690 runs at PacBell Stadium, but about 850 on the road. 

    The Giants scored 447 runs on the road. If they played their home games at Coors, they would have been expected to score about 700 runs at home, compared to the 350 or so they actually did score. (The Rockies scored 550 at home, 350 on the road). Bonds bats in about 17% of his team runs, and the Giants would have scored about 350 more if they played their home games in Coors, so Bonds might reasonably have knocked in about 200 runs if the Giants played their home games in Denver. Someday, a great hitter will play at Coors, and will destroy the structure of the record books. (Larry Walker only hit in the .290's on the road, Helton only in the .280's. But imagine the numbers if Sammy Sosa played in Coors!)

    Bonds assembled his numbers despite batting third and being walked 177 times. The way he was swinging, do you think anybody was giving him a chance to beat them? Under the same circumstances, batting third and drawing tons of walks, Mickey Mantle produced seasons like these

    Year Plate Appearances HR RBI
    1958 648 42 97
    1959 634 31 75
    1960 638 40 94

    Do you think his poor RBI production was because Mick sucked as an RBI man? Do you think it was because he choked in the clutch? Sure, why not. Or maybe it was because he batted third and was pitched around.

    By the way, ol' Babe Ruth had those two great seasons, 1920 and 1921, playing in the Polo Grounds, where the left-handed Babe took aim at the 257 foot sign down the right field line. Ruth set the record under ideal conditions, which is why nobody ever challenged it. He was 25-26 years old those years, playing in a park where he could pull 260 foot homers.

    Poor ol' Sammy Sosa. The world's greatest also-ran. Yet another routine spectacular year, obscured by a stronger effort from another player. 64 homers, 160 RBI's, .737 slugging. Sammy's 160 RBI's was the highest total for a National Leaguer since Hack Wilson set the record in 1930. Sammy's .737 slugging average was better than Ted Williams' best season. If you gave an MVP award for multiple year achievements, Sammy would be your man over the past four years. He's making 60 homers look like a cakewalk. Over the past four years, Sammy is averaging 61 homers, 149 RBI's. By the way, Sammy is only 32 years old. 

    Enough Bonds. What other interesting single-season records were set this year?

    • Ichiro - most hits, rookie
    • Albert Pujols - most RBI, NL rookie
    • Todd Helton - only player in history with 100 EBH two years in a row.
    • Randy Johnson - first man with four 300K seasons.
    • Roger Clemens - first man ever to win twenty games before his second loss, 16 consecutive wins ties AL record.
    • Alex Rodriguez - most HR, shortstop. (Only shortstop ever to hit 50 HR)
    • Bret Boone - most HR by an AL second baseman, most RBI by an AL second baseman.
    • Sammy Sosa - only player with three seasons of 60+ homers.
    • Seattle Mariners - tie ML record for most wins in a season, set AL record.
    • Trevor Hoffman - first man with four consecutive seasons of  40+ saves


    Graphic Response
    Vidcaps from the Mike Figgis Film "The Loss of Sexual Innocence" (1999)

  • Hanne Klintoe, full frontal nudity.
  • Johanna Torell, a brief nip slip.
  • Saffron Burrows, rear nudity and a see-thru bra.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

  • Hugo
    Liv Tyler
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5,)

    Excellent 'caps from "One Night at McCool's" (2001).

    The breakdown:

  • Link #1...plenty of cleavage and leg
  • Link #2...a slight hint of partial bum exposure, and she gets groped.
  • Link #3...up close and personal wonderbra view
  • Link #4...a wet and soapy car wash scene
  • Link #5...leather, and more cleavage

  • Lynette Walden Topless and rear nudity from "The Silencer" (1992). A little trivia...this movie also stars the original King of Trash TV....Morton Downey Jr.!

    Catherine McCormack Catherine's topless scene in "Braveheart".

    Faye Grant Topless in a sex scene from "Internal Affairs" (1990).

    Patricia Arquette Kinda dark, and kinda blue, but still, nice Arquette nudity in these images from "True Romance".

    Sharon Stone Very nice breast exposure in "The Specialist".

    Teri Hatcher The all too famous scene from "Heaven's Prisoners" that gave us the phrase "Teri Hatcher Boobs" to use whenever an actress took her clothes off and really shouldn't have.

    Tonie Perensky Stripping in scenes from "Varsity Blues"

    Valeria Golino Topless in "An Occasional Hell" (1996). Nice work. Usually we only see Kari Wuhrer's nudity in this movie.

    Hazel Ann Crawford
    (1, 2)


    Assorted topless and frontal nudity in scenes from "Postmortem" (1998).

    Sondra Locke
    (1, 2)

    Topless and rear nudity in not 1 but 2 rape scenes. Link #1 is from "The Outlaw Josey Wales", and Link #2 has 'caps from "The Gauntlet".

    Deaf Beer
    Comments and 'caps by Deaf...

    I'm not sure if you have been watching "Mind of the Married Man" on HBO. It's an ok program, and this week was the first episode with nudity. Michelle Krusiec has a topless scene in good lighting.

    Here are 5 collages of the 1/2 American, 1/2 Chinese beauty.

  • Michelle Krusiec (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Kat
    Vidcaps from the movie "Faust: Love of the Damned" (2000).

    The classic Faust tale as told by director Brian Yuzna. Yuzna may not be a household name, but Fun House readers know his work.
    "Progeny" (1999)
    "The Dentist II" (1998)
    "The Dentist" (1996)
    "Necronomicon" (1994)
    "Return of the Living Dead 3" (1993)
    "Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation" (1990)
    "Bride of Re-Animator" (1990)

    Oddly enough, in addition to directing the movies listed above, and producing several others in the mega-gore genre...he also wrote the story and co-produced "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" (1989). Who would've guessed?

  • Isabel Brook, mostly cleavage and near misses. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Jennifer Rope
  • Monica Van Campen, almost all of these have breast exposure. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

  • Celeb News
    Not commentary, really, just hilarious photos. Check out Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell, entertaining the troops in Oman (1, 2)

    In one, she's wearing the world's smallest bikini; in the other, she's performing in panties in front of a chorus line of babes in Union Jack bras. This is what you're fighting for, boys! We bet it made Osama's blood boil. Or it would, if he had testicles.

    -Pat Reeder
    The Comedy Wire

    Movie Trivia from the Mail Bag
    Subject: "Pledge Night" Trivia

    Hey Junior,

    I actually saw this movie in college (around '95) and thought it was just your typical campy horror flick for the most part. What actually prompted my roommate and I to rent the movie (yes, we spent money on it) was that it stars the long-time previous Anthrax front-man Joey Belladonna as the monster. I do believe it's the only movie starring, or even containing, a member of Anthrax. Wow, that's history.


    Click Here!