American Virgin


A hot chick, as a member of a professional virgin society, resolves to stay pure until she's married. Her resolve is weakened through a combination of a lusty roommate and the presence of "Girls Gone Wild," disguised here as "Chicks Go Crazy."

The virgin doesn't get laid, but she does get photographed topless after a drinking binge, and decides that she has to travel across the country in order to catch up with the Chicks Go Crazy van so that she can beg for the naughty footage to be destroyed. As it turns out, she never did get topless in the first place. She was so drunk that she didn't remember the incident, and the topless chick in question was wearing an animal head, so it might have been anyone.


Typical straight-to-vid youthploitation flick. The lead characters are two-dimensional and the antagonists come up at least a dimension short of that. Rob Schneider plays a fictional version of that "Girls Go Wild" guy, and manages to turn him into an even bigger ass than he actually is, and needless to say, the head honchos of the professional virgin society turn out to be lust-crazed hypocrites. That fact teaches us an important lesson: students should do more fucking.

In other words, the film is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, and a shameful demonstration of what can happen to humans when we succumb to the darkest angels of our nature. Dick Cheney would think it too cruel to show this film to a terrorist, or even to threaten to show it, even if doing so could extract crucial intelligence.

Which makes it slightly above average for a Rob Schneider film.

The principals in the film never get naked, but there is a lot of random nudity. Here it is.



World's Greatest Dad


This is a black, black comedy starring Robin Williams as a frustrated, lonely would-be writer who has never sold a word of his prolific output, and who is muddling through life as an unpopular English teacher and a single father with a son who hates him. The son is, in a word, a loser. He's dumb. He's negative. He's sociopathic. He's unsanitary. He's obsessed with the most disgusting forms of pornography. He is the least popular kid in school.

The key plot twist is that the son kills himself in masturbatory auto-asphyxiation, ala David Carradine.

"Wait," you're thinking, "this is a comedy?"


The hook is that Dad manages to find a silver lining in the death of his son. Instead of calling 911 when he finds the body, he writes a suicide note and poses his son's body to appear as if he had hung himself in despair. The son therefore becomes a hero to the goth kids and the emos back at school. The kid's cult of personality grows, and soon every kid in school pretends to have been the dead boy's best friend. Carried away by the success of the suicide note, the dad continues developing the fictional pseudo-personality of his son by "discovering" some notebooks which reveal that the boy's loser persona was just a facade he used to hide his brilliance and sensitivity. The son then becomes enshrined as a full-fledged folk hero across the entire country, because the notebooks get discovered by the media. Suddenly dad is being pursued by top book publishers, is appearing on daytime TV talk shows, is being romanced passionately by a smokin' hot young teacher, and is about to achieve all of his dreams.

How will it all turn out? I won't tell you that, because it's a good movie with a good ending.

It's not a perfect movie, but I found it quite worthwhile.

The only real nudity is provided by, of all people, Robin Williams, who gives it all up. Yup, the full monty.

There's no female nudity, but sexy Alexie Gilmore shakes her booty while clad only in skimpy panties.




  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.










Mathilda May film clips - Part 3 of 4


Scoop's notes: about the new videos

Aesthete has produced this legendary nude role in 1920x1080 film clips. Altogether the package is larger than a gig, so I split it up over four days. Today's section includes the third quarter of the film clips.

 About the actual movie:

Has it really been a quarter of a century since this movie came out? 

It is a silly movie, but filled with little unexpected delights, not the least of which is plenty of full frontal and dorsal nudity from Mathilda May, the ultimate French babe, and possessor of one of the ten best chests in the history of filmed chests.

It also has:

  • Some excellent sci-fi effects by the master, John Dykstra (Star Wars). This was actually an expensive movie. It cost 25 million bucks. In addition to the outer space scenes, it portrays the burning of many London landmarks in miniatures and on sound stages.
  • A musical score written by Henry Mancini. Yup, the guy who wrote Moon River, The Days of Wine and Roses, and The Pink Panther. How did they persuade him to do this movie? And why did they want him?
  • Direction by Tobe Hooper, of "Poltergeist" fame. (And "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", if'n you like your horror gorier.)
  • Captain Picard, delivering a small, but truly over-the-top, performance

Of course, all of those elements are more or less wasted on one of the screwiest scripts ever written, making it a space, vampire, zombie, end-of-the-world, nudie, sci-fi, horror movie. (What, no songs?) It seems that there is an alien spaceship living in Halley's Comet, and it is investigated by earth astronauts. Inside the ship, our intrepid earthlings find some dried-up bodies, some creatures that look like bats, and Mathilda May naked. Oh, yeah, and a couple of naked guys as well. They leave the bats and the dry shit behind, but they bring Mathilda and her friends into the earth ship for, um ... closer examination. Oops. Not a good move.

Well, it turns out that Halley's Comet is the source of all vampires. The vamps live in their secret nest there, and visit earth every eight decades in order to suck up earth lives. They suck the life out of earthlings, who in turn become temporary vampires for a couple of hours, and suck the lives out of other earthlings, and so forth in geometric progression until the life is sucked out of London.

Hey, I think I was in London that summer.

Anyway, the vampires have this special system rigged up where they channel all the human life-forces from earth through Mathilda May in the form of violet light beams, and thence into space where everything is absorbed by their umbrella-shaped space ship. It seems the vamps are going for the whole enchilada this time, the entire life-energy of the planet. To combat this, NATO plans to drop nuclear bombs on London, but an American guy decides that plan is overkill, and that he can defeat the vampires single-handed by driving a stake through their hearts. 

Well, it isn't as dumb as it sounds. You see, he is the astronaut who was selected by the vampires to be their original earthling model. While they were studying him, they ended up exchanging life forces with him, so now he can "feel" their weaknesses, and "sense" their presence.

Never mind what I said before. It IS as dumb as it sounds. 

In fact, the movie tells us, one cannot kill a vampire by driving a wooden stake through its heart. Pure poppycock and folklore! A "thanatologist" tell us that the vampires must be killed by driving a lead stake two inches below the heart. Thanatology is apparently a very exact science. I guess it has to be, because if the thanatologist drives those stakes three inches below the heart, or uses a stake with insufficient lead content, that just makes 'em really mad. 

At the end of the movie, London was filled with zombie-like creatures stumbling around aimlessly while making the requisite "living dead" noises and gestures. And that was just the crew when the pubs closed! The action in the actual movie is even sillier.

Colin Wilson might not even recognize his novel "The Space Vampires" if he saw this movie.

Never mind that. This is arguably the single best movie in history to watch stoned, maybe even better than 2001: A Space Odyssey, because the Kubrick movie provides only the rich visuals, but no laughs. This one also has the look and the sound, and its bizarre, often self-contradictory plot is a laugh a minute. If you like to get together with a group of your friends and hoot at over-the-top movies, welcome to your dream date. Ya got yer silly premise. Ya got yer rhetorical acting. Ya got yer bad science. Ya got everything you need except an evil twin. Rent this and have a ball. 








Olivia Wilde, see-through

Smaller versions from a different source

Sarah Agor in Sex Pot

Guisy Castiglione in Sex Pot

Teryl Brouilette in Sex Pot


Film Clips

Sophie Hilbrand in Summer Heat (samples below)

Recommended. This is a great set of scenes. Beautiful girl.

I wish American actresses would still do scenes like this.

Maria Schneider in Last Tango in Paris (part 2 of 4)

Three clips of Mary-Louise Parker's best nudity on Weeds (in HD)

Silvia Fominaya in Comisario

Yvonne Catterfeld in Schatten der Gerechtigkeit

The women of The Messengers: