Aesthete has produced this legendary nude role in 1920x1080 film clips.
Altogether the package is larger than a gig, so I split it up over four days.
Today's section includes the second quarter of the
Has it really been a
quarter of a century since this movie came out?
It is a silly movie,
but filled with little unexpected delights, not the least of which is
plenty of full frontal and dorsal nudity from Mathilda May, the ultimate
French babe, and possessor of one of the ten best chests in the history
of filmed chests.
It also has:
- Some excellent
sci-fi effects by the master, John Dykstra (Star Wars). This was
actually an expensive movie. It cost 25 million bucks. In addition to
the outer space scenes, it portrays the burning of many London
landmarks in miniatures and on sound stages.
- A musical score
written by Henry Mancini. Yup, the guy who wrote Moon River, The Days
of Wine and Roses, and The Pink Panther. How did they persuade him to
do this movie? And why did they want him?
by Tobe Hooper, of "Poltergeist" fame. (And "Texas Chainsaw Massacre",
if'n you like your horror gorier.)
- Captain Picard,
delivering a small, but truly over-the-top, performance
Of course, all of those
elements are more or less wasted on one of the screwiest scripts ever
written, making it a space, vampire, zombie, end-of-the-world, nudie,
sci-fi, horror movie. (What, no songs?) It seems that there is an alien
spaceship living in Halley's Comet, and it is investigated by earth
astronauts. Inside the ship, our intrepid earthlings find some dried-up
bodies, some creatures that look like bats, and Mathilda May naked. Oh,
yeah, and a couple of naked guys as well. They leave the bats and the
dry shit behind, but they bring Mathilda and her friends into the earth
ship for, um ... closer examination. Oops. Not a good move.
Well, it turns out that
Halley's Comet is the source of all vampires. The vamps live in their
secret nest there, and visit earth every eight decades in order to suck
up earth lives. They suck the life out of earthlings, who in turn become
temporary vampires for a couple of hours, and suck the lives out of
other earthlings, and so forth in geometric progression until the life
is sucked out of London.
Hey, I think I was in
London that summer.
Anyway, the vampires
have this special system rigged up where they channel all the human
life-forces from earth through Mathilda May in the form of violet light
beams, and thence into space where everything is absorbed by their
umbrella-shaped space ship. It seems the vamps are going for the whole
enchilada this time, the entire life-energy of the planet. To combat
this, NATO plans to drop nuclear bombs on London, but an American guy
decides that plan is overkill, and that he can defeat the vampires
single-handed by driving a stake through their hearts.
Well, it isn't as dumb
as it sounds. You see, he is the astronaut who was selected by the
vampires to be their original earthling model. While they were studying
him, they ended up exchanging life forces with him, so now he can "feel"
their weaknesses, and "sense" their presence.
Never mind what I said
before. It IS as dumb as it sounds.
In fact, the movie
tells us, one cannot kill a vampire by driving a wooden stake through
its heart. Pure poppycock and folklore! A "thanatologist" tell us that
the vampires must be killed by driving a lead stake two inches
below the heart. Thanatology is apparently a very exact science. I
guess it has to be, because if the thanatologist drives those stakes
three inches below the heart, or uses a stake with insufficient lead
content, that just makes 'em really mad.
At the end of the
movie, London was filled with zombie-like creatures stumbling around
aimlessly while making the requisite "living dead" noises and gestures.
And that was just the crew when the pubs closed! The action in the
actual movie is even sillier.
Colin Wilson might not
even recognize his novel "The Space Vampires" if he saw this movie.
Never mind that. This is arguably the
single best movie in history to watch stoned, maybe even better than
2001: A Space Odyssey, because the Kubrick movie provides only the rich
visuals, but no laughs. This one also has the look and the sound, and
its bizarre, often self-contradictory plot is a laugh a minute.
If you like to get
together with a group of your friends and hoot at over-the-top movies,
welcome to your dream date. Ya got yer silly premise. Ya got yer
rhetorical acting. Ya got yer bad science. Ya got everything you need
except an evil twin. Rent this and have a ball.