Dangerous Parking


Well, whadya know? Sometimes, in the middle of the zombie movies, torture porn, and lowbrow comedies, I actually get to watch a good movie once in a while!

Wikipedia summarizes the film's storyline perfectly, as follows:

"Based on the semi-autobiographical critically-acclaimed novel by the late Stuart Browne, Dangerous Parking tells the story of Noah Arkwright, a cult director in the indie film world, whose life is on a crash course, with Noah steering himself towards his own destruction. Noah's life is one of success - and excess. Everything - drink, drugs, girls, fame - that Noah can get his hands on he wolfs down with an insatiable hunger.

Alcoholism and drug addiction have him firmly in their grasp - but Noah has no interest in acknowledging either until Kirstin, a young alcoholic who has 'seen the light', manages to convince Noah that he is heading for destruction and sets him on the path to reclaim himself. With the help of his best friend Ray, Noah attempts to right his ship - and when fate sends him a guardian angel in the shape of cellist Clare Mathesson, Noah tries even harder to shift his focus from self abuse to self preservation - and on the road to selflessness.

And that is when Mother Nature deals him the cruelest blow of all."

That is a perfectly accurate rendering of the facts, but doesn't touch on the tone of the film. You might expect heavy drama from the story of a man who barely overcame substance abuse then had to face bladder cancer. There is some of that, of course, but the approach of the film (and presumably the eponymous novel, which I have not read) is to tell the truth in all of its facets, per the tradition of the deathbed confession, embellished only when it makes for a better story. The film is coarse, refined, tender, raunchy, dramatic, hilarious, and sad. The lead character is profane, sensitive, bitter, resigned, tender, cruel, brave, cowardly, highbrow, lowbrow, and all brows in between. I've always hastened to point out that the truth is overrated as movie material, but nothing makes a better drama than the full, unspun truth, provided that it is used to tell the story of somebody who is interesting to begin with. It's even better when the subject of the film is funny, uninhibited, and horny!

I'd say this film nailed it.

All credit goes to Peter Howitt, who did it all. He adapted the novel into a screenplay, directed the film, and starred in an performance of emotional extremes. Howitt seems to be channeling the spirit of the late Richard Harris, coupling arrogant and cynical high tones with introspective and sentimental low tones, all filtered through the humor of the bottle. Howitt even did an extended hairless scene during the character's chemotherapy and an extended full-frontal nude scene during a lapse from sobriety. Talk about putting it all on the line for a project!

Howitt's total involvement  is the key to the film, of course, but a special nod also goes to Tom Conti as a doctor who comes off as stuffy, condescending upper class twit, but nonetheless has a compassionate heart hidden beneath his breezy pedantry and stiff upper lip, probably somewhere between his jodhpurs and his riding crop.

The narrative technique of this film is as complicated as the tone shifts. The scenes include a combination of (1) narration from some time in the future, (2) the reality of the moment portrayed, and (3) the character's fantasies during the moment portrayed. The presentation is further complicated by flashbacks, flashbacks within flashbacks, and flash forwards within flashbacks, so that it is not always clear when the "present" is, and the precise order of events can be difficult to discern. There are many films where that sort of jumble doesn't work at all, but this is not one of them, for two reasons: first, the film is paced briskly and is damned funny, so the humor carries the individual scenes even when it is not clear how everything fits into the big picture; second, there is a very good structural reason, one which I can't reveal, to justify the narrator's having disguised the time and place from which he makes his narration.

This film had me laughing out loud at times, and it also had me in tears. It would be a powerful story even if it were totally concocted, but it is made more poignant by the fact that it is more or less true. It is so entertaining and engaging that I went to and ordered the book as soon as the movie's credits started rolling.

The film is rated 7.5 at IMDb, which is excellent, but I think it was even better than that. The median score is 9, and women score it 9.7!  Here is another reviewer who liked it as much as I did.



And it even has a lot of nudity:

In addition to the full frontal nudity from Mr. Howitt, various women expose various parts of their anatomies.

Raquel Azevedo and Rebecca Jones expose T&A in some raunchy sex action.

Shirley Oakes exposes a fleeting nipple.

Alice Evans shows her breasts in a topless swim, and possibly shows the ol' coochie when she spreads her legs with no panties underneath her dress. Unfortunately, it's kinda dark down there, and I really can't tell what we're lookin' at.



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








The Love Guru


Huge box office bomb starring Mike Meyers from last summer. No nudity with most of the cap-able stuff left on the cutting room floor leaving an endless string of penis/booger/boner jokes. And I won't even discuss the elephant sex scene.The only thing that saved this movie was Justin Timberlake performing the best French-Canadian stereotype since Bugs Bunny's Blacque Jacque Shellacque.

Jessica Alba: sexy

Meagan Good: bikini

Myranda Jade: blonde in threesome in deleted scenes

Gigi Dalka: sexy waitress in deleted scenes

puck bunnies: fan getting her boob tattooed


various from the deleted scenes section:


kama sutra

bar girls


View of Terror

(2003 TV)

Movie about a stalker who watches women through a telescope.

Shannon Doherty: downblouse

Jayne Heitmeyer: silhouette striptease

Christina Colburn: topless

Ingrid Falaise: nude sex scene





A very hard DVD to find but a must for Stargate fans.

Amanda Tapping: nipple slip

Courtney Kramer: partial boob and upskirt


"The Sarah Connor Chronicles"

season 2

Lena Headey: partial boob getting a decontamination shower.

Busy Philipps: pregnant as a guppy.

Leven Rambin: melons nearly popping out of her dress.


Cleaning up my hard drive:

Jessica Parker Kennedy: sexy in recent Smallville episode.

You may remember her as the bar girl who flashed her boobs in Decoys 2.

Christina Cox: brassiere in Blood Ties pilot.







More "Hankster Light" today.


The Dead Pit


A "Babe in Bondage" today with Cheryl Lawson tied up and hosed down, losing her shirt in the process. Caps and a clip. 




Some "Hankster Light" with Carol Alt, still looking good, on the Today show last month. Great legs.










Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

High Definition

 Part 2. Shannyn Sossamon

Film clip here. Collages below.







Notes and collages


Madeleine Stowe, continued







This section will present film clips to accompany Charlie's collages (which are found in his own site).

Multiple clips of Marianne Anska in Le Gerfaut






The Big Lebowski


The recent release of the 10th Anniversary Edition of The Big Lebowski is a chance to take another look at a goofy and hilarious comedy directed by the Coen brothers. It is flat-out funny.

Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) is the ultimate pot-smoking, hard-drinking, avid bowling slacker; poor as a church mouse and happy as a clam.

Jeffrey Lebowski (no relation) is a L.A. millionaire with a young ex-porn star trophy wife. She owes money to some bad people, who pay Dude a visit and piss on his rug, mistaking him for the rich Lebowski.

Dude, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing, vows to right this wrong, and get his rug replaced. What follows is total craziness, and very funny. If for some reason you've never seen it, you should.


Julianne Moore Tara Reid ???








A film clip of Samantha Healy in Wildside, an Aussie TV series

Collages below








This is a tremendous find. In the DVD extras for Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the breasts of Kristen Bell were supposed to be blurred, and they were - most of the time. Unfortunately for her, fortunately for us, she moved around a bit and the tech guy didn't follow her in every single frame!


Film Clips

Leslie Bibb in The Midnight Meat Train

This is some really sexy HD footage of Nutsa Kukhiandze and Amaliya Mordovina in 27 Missing Kisses. (Big download. It's in .mp4 format. VLC media player will play it with no problem. As always, I recommend VLC, which is open source, free, plays everything, and even has a native screen capture capability. Its only weakness is a lack of "single frame advance" capability.)

Kristi Stubo in Opium .... (samples right)
Adriana Davidova in Sindrome (sample right)