Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Somebody made a sweet clip of that BBC2 show
"Bodies," which I have never seen. Here's
Hannah Yelland's sexy scene. (Zipped
Satan's Little Helper (2004):
Although this movie
was lensed in 2003 and made its debut at the toney Tribeca Festival in NYC, it
is not a high-minded parable about guilt and religion, but a retro-classic
horror film about a homicidal maniac, ala Halloween and Friday XIII, complete
with macabre humor, gratuitous T&A, and a high body count. Part of the
explanation for that apparent incongruity resides in the fact that the
director is Jay Lieberman, whose other films were all made in the period
1976-1987. You read that right - it's been nearly 20 years since he made a
The movie's equivalent of Michael Meyers/Jason Voorhees is "Satan
Man," who possesses all the characteristics of the 80s-style homicidal maniacs
except the back story. Since he is the silent type, and nobody seems to know
who he really is, the only thing we really learn about him is that he showed
up on an island community on Halloween wearing a Satan mask. The very concept
of Halloween allows him to wander around in a grotesque costume without
attracting any attention, and the convivial spirit of the holiday causes
people to invite him into their homes and parties, often mistaking him for one
of their friends or family members. When people get too close to his trail, he
simply places the Satan disguise on one of his victims, thus making his
pursuers think he is dead, then continues his murderous adventures disguised
The "little helper" portion of the title refers to a lil' "trick
or treater," a naive boy about ten years old, who is dressed up for Halloween
as the title character in his favorite video game, "Satan's Little Helper."
Imagine his joy when he finds a new friend disguised as his master. He turns
out to be a perfect apprentice for Satan, all the while thinking that he's
playing an adventure game. The kid and his family get milked for the maximum
value in irony and grotesque humor. Late in the film, when the boy prays to
God to forgive him for helping Satan, the doorbell rings immediately, and who
should be there but Jesus himself! It's obviously a miracle, so the boy
willingly rejoins the maniac for another grotesque round of nocturnal games.
One of the film's funnier concepts involves Satan Man's decision to take the
boy's mom (Amanda Plummer) to a party as his date. He uses plastic wrap to gag
her mouth she can't communicate, and to bind her arms and legs to prevent
escape. The drunken revelers think her wacky post-modern mummy costume (she's
Carmen Miranda underneath the cling-wrap) is the life of the party, so they
are amused and distracted by her spastic attempts to communicate, while Satan
Man is filling their punch with toxic chemicals.
If anyone ever gets to see
this, it could become a cult classic, even a franchise. It is filmed in
glorious, bright, saturated colors to give it a and ironically cheerful look,
and it looks just about as good as a B-movie is ever going to look. It has its
scary moments, some mild gore, some bare breasts, and a lot of humor. I
enjoyed the film, although Halloween clones are not normally among my favorite
types of movies, because it is very heavy on the morbid humor, allowing to it
exist simultaneously as 80s slasher fare and a parody of same. It isn't as
serious as Halloween or as silly as Scary Movie, but strikes a workable
balance between them.
A special tip o' the fun house hat to Melisa McGregor
(below) who only had about ten lines, but was completely charming, created and
stayed in a credible character, "sold" her death scene, got naked, and showed
a very shapely booty in the process.
Captures and comments from the Ghost.
Today, the women of Boulevard
'Zipped .avis and comments by ICMS
Today we take a closer look at 3 actresses from
the 1974 movie "Le Trio Infernal", starring Michel Piccoli and Romy Schneider.
The film relates the criminal shenanigans of Georges Sarret (Michel Piccoli), his
lady-friend Philomène Schmidt (Romy Schneider), and her sister Catherine (Mascha
Gonska) - together, "the infernal trio." Before teaming up with the
sisters, Georges was originally a shady lawyer who financed his
extravagant lifestyle by pulling off life insurance scams, but as a team the trio resorted to
more violent ways to acquire money, and they end up killing two people who they later dissolve in
a bath tub!
It may be interesting to know that this film is
actually based on real-life events that happened at the end of the 1920's in
is an interesting link to the real people and events. Unfortunately, the
verbiage is only available in French, but the pictures should be enough to
convince you that the film characters look far better than their real-life
counterparts! In the film the younger sister ends up dead after a nasty fall,
but the film is otherwise open-ended, whereas in real life this wasn't the case at all.
The trio finally had to stand trial. Georges Sarret was given the death
sentence, which was carried out in public outside the prison walls in
Aix-en-Provence in 1934. The two sisters came off with a lighter sentence, not
even close to the 10 years the prosecutor had asked for.
The movie itself was interesting during the first
half, until the end of the "dissolving scene", which certainly constitutes the
highlight. After that point, it became repetitious and ever slower in pace, so
that I felt relieved when the end credits finally started rolling.
- In the most gruesome scene of the
film, Andréa Ferréol is one of the victims and we see her dead, covered in
blood and getting stripped to prepare her for her bath. Be warned,
certainly not a scene for the faint of heart.
- The lawyer is romantically involved with both
sisters, sometimes ending up in bed with both of them together. Mascha Gonska
as the younger sister shows the most skin of the two. (1,
- In the main feature Romy Schneider remains modestly topless only ... (1,
- ... but in the trailer
she shows a bit more in a scene that is not in the
PS. It's perfectly safe to drive over the Millau
Viaduct, otherwise yours faithfully wouldn't be typing these words.
And it is indeed impressive.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
|Today we have Michelle von Flotow with some T & A from a
horrible movie "Kept" which you should avoid like the plague. In a switch
Michelle has a "Guy in Bondage"in the last cap.
|The ol' Time Machine goes back to 1965 for "The Smut
Peddler" a B & W cheapie from that era which features unknown topless babes.
For you young folks this is what us old-timers had to rely on for our
thrills in those long ago days before the internet.
Three new pics of 1990s supermodel Frederique
Evangeline Lilly bikini paparazzi
Retro Kylie Minogue tribute, Part 2
Angela Bettis in Carrie
Polish skin queen Kasia Figura in the immortal cinema classic, "Ga, Ga"
Lauren Hutton 70-71 retro. Little Fauss and Big Halsey (left), and Permette?
Michaela Mann in Carrie
Zia McCabe of the Dandy Warhols in DiG!
Naomi Campbell backstage at revealing runway gig
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Slideshow of the Mississippi coast two days after Katrina
Padres cause looks hopeless after ace Peavy gets rocked. They
did come back a bit against the Redbird middle relievers, but they
looked hapless against Carpenter, while Peavy had nothin'.
White Sox rock Clement, place BoSox in a hole.
Louis Black - "Back in Black: Relief Money" "By rebuilding
casinos, we're giving those who haven't already lost their homes the
chance to do so."
The Daily Show investigates how supervising judges in an Arabian
horse show prepares one to head FEMA.
Nipsey Russell now is dead /further poems left unsaid. Burma
Cameron Crowe cuts 12 minutes from Elizabethtown.
"The Two Ronnies" to be re-named in light of inflation and, of
This is not a satire site. It comes from the ABC science
Scientists have taught dolphins to sing the Batman theme.
"ALIENS MOON NASA SPACECRAFT!"
President Bush's Statement Gently Distancing Himself From Bill
Bennett's Impeccably Virtuous Solution to the "Negro Problem" (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Bush to balance budget with lemonade stand on White House lawn.
The $32 billion no-bid contract to build the stand has been awarded
Satan Sues Oprah for Breach of Contract
This week's expanded movies (from 1000 screens to 1800):
The Greatest Game Ever Played - 63% positive reviews. (The
Disney golf movie.)
This week's movies (900 screens):
The Gospel - no reviews on file. WTF? I first heard of this PG
film ten minutes ago.
This week's movies (1560 screens):
Waiting... - no reviews on file.
- Not one review? That doesn't sound like a good sign. In fact,
it leads me to suspect that the film sucks. Ryan Reynolds is one
funny guy, and lowbrow comedies are hot, so if the film were
really funny, wouldn't they want to get some reviews out there
from potentially friendly critics?
This week's movies (2350 screens):
Two For The Money - 33% positive reviews. This is the Pacino
film that looks very much like The Devil's Advocate.
This week's movies (2850 screens):
In Her Shoes - 70% positive reviews. A multi-tissue weepfest.
Hey, women also go to movies.
This week's movies (3000 screens):
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - 100% positive
reviews. I had no intention of seeing this, but the reviews are
not merely positive, but delirious, to wit:
- "Nearly bursting with wit"
- "Deliciously eccentric and witty ...with its deft humour and
unique touches, [it] is an inspired adventure for every age"
- "A witty and wonderful clay-animated comedy that is a charmer
from start to finish with its two endearing antiheroes and its
clever puns and wry references to other movies."
- "a pure delight"
The Weekend Warrior makes his box office predictions for this
- He thinks that Wallace and Gromit will take the top spot, with
In Her Shoes close on its heels.
- He expects Serenity to drop off the map, even losing to two
films it beat last week. That does make sense to me. I suppose all
the Firefly fans have already seen it.
- He predicts a #4 spot for Two for the Money (Pacino/McConaughey),
and #9 for Waiting.
- He may be underestimating the power of Waiting to attract the
youth market. My son and his friends are champing at the bit for
this movie, and lowbrow comedies have been the surprise
powerhouses of this year. On the other hand, as noted above, there
are unfavorable auspices for this movie.
Once again, Conan talks to the Clutch Cargo version of President
Nine clips and a featurette from Tony Scott's Domino
"BUSH GIVES SUPREME COURT PICK A COPY OF "JUDGING FOR DUMMIES"
From our "department of obvious observations" -
Hugh Grant looks like a "butch lesbian." Actually, he's not that
Sharon Stone defends Kate Moss over alleged cocaine 'mistake'
- "US film star Sharon Stone defended Kate Moss over recent
allegations that the twig-thin British model took cocaine, saying
she did the right thing by apologizing and everybody should be
allowed a mistake ..."
- Like Manson, for example. If he would just say he's really
sorry and promise to try not to kill any more people - and really
mean it - none of that tricky "crossing his fingers" jazz - we
should give the poor guy a break.
The world's least-alike twins
One possible explanation for why the Chicago Bears suck. One of
2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 17 : Carolina Panthers.
Some things in life need a little hands-on inspection. So when
an old college friend called me on Saturday and asked if I could
get my butt to Charlotte for the Monday Night match-up against
Brett Favre and the Packers, how could I refuse? The return to my
old stomping grounds to see my beloved Panthers and the TopCats
was fantastic, but it put the 2005 Tour back a day. Traveling from
Tampa to Charlotte and back again this morning, along with a Brett
Favre comeback, made more than a few hairs turn gray. A few cups
of coffee and another look at the Carolina
Top Cats has brought me back from the walking dead.
Since 1996, these lovely ladies have been roaming the
sidelines in Charlotte, but the current squad looks like it is a
rebuilding mode, with nineteen girls in their first or second
season. This squad has a lot of new faces, and the loss of 2004
Carly, hurts the team. Time will tell if the rookies, such as
Megan, have what it takes to live up to the rep of fan
favorite and veteran (and mechanical engineer!)
The website has a lot of potential, but the webmaster should
look at some other sites and tie all of the loose ends together.
The roster page makes it easy for users to find out more
information on their favorite TopCat, but the group photo is on
the small side, and the bios are a bit lacking compared to other
teams. The bios only include two photos. There should be more. The
photo gallery features some great pictures, but most of these
pictures are from last season. Auditions, community work, team
calendar? The TopCats do these things, but you have to go outside
of the Cheerleader section to find any evidence of them. Pictures
of these happen to be in the Fan Zone section. Here are some great
the calendar. Why are these not in the TopCats section?
This is the cheerleading squad of my favorite team, but I have
to admit that they are in the middle of the pack.
Rating 7.5 out of 10.
Nearly Half of Americans Think U.S. Will Soon Have a Woman President.
Of course, most of them thought Geena Davis was the current
Tampa Bay analysts conclude it is nearly as ill-prepared for a
hurricane as N'awlins
The Daily Show:
"As Texas Lottery Commissioner Harriet Miers brought sanity to the
Crazy 8's Scratch n' Match."
The Daily Show: "When the president says he talks to his generals,
we guess he means 'not about Iraq.'"
Will there be more NFL games outside the USA? Well, there will
be several more in San Antonio. Does that count?
Taking Advantage Of Technology - the Beer Can Padlock Shim
A complete list of neologisms created by The Simpsons
Conan O'Brien's latest quotables:
- "In a recent interview, Courtney Love says that now that she's
over 40 she's decided not to flash her breasts in public anymore.
Courtney's exact words were, 'From now on, I'm all about the
- "'Us Weekly' is reporting that Ashton Kutcher cried during his
wedding to Demi Moore. When asked about it, Moore said, 'Of course
Ashton cried. He's teething.'"
- "It's been announced that Elton John has written a new
Broadway musical. A spokesperson for the musical said now that
Elton John is involved, Broadway can finally start attracting some
Internet search giant Yahoo will make books available for reading
- "Yahoo is not scanning copyrighted works, as Google did before
publishers called foul and it temporarily stopped. Instead, Yahoo
is paying for the scanning of older, out of print titles and
making them searchable through the Yahoo index and a new website
30GB Web Mail Launches Into Beta
- "However, many users are wary of the service, its privacy
policy and terms of service. One user called the service 'shady'
and stated 'the ToS/Eula is amazingly short'. The service is
currently in beta and, mimicking Google's GMail service, it
requires an invite to gain access to the service. Like other
services that have popped up on the internet promising gigs worth
of email we don't expect it to last longer than a few months so
grab an invite whilst you can."
Pat's comments in yellow:
BUSH NOMINATES NON-JUDGE PAL TO HIGH COURT
Michael Brown Wasn't Available? - Monday, President Bush passed over well-known
conservative judges to nominate White House Counsel Harriet Miers to the Supreme
Court. The former head of the Texas Lottery, Miers has never been a judge and
has no record of decisions. Some conservatives fear that her previous support
for such things as women in combat and an international criminal court
means she'll be another David Souter. Others said they trust Bush that she is a
strict constructionist, an Evangelical Christian and, as he once said, a "pit
bull in size six shoes."
* Well, at least we know she's not another Janet Reno.
* There's something for everybody to hate, even cat lovers.
* It's a choice that's like the state lottery: nobody wins.
* It's not Bush's fault: nobody told him he was allowed to look outside the
* Miers told Bush she'd never been a judge before, but he said, "Heck, I'd
never been president before, and look how well that's worked out!"
WASHINGTON URGES ENERGY CONSERVATION
You'll Save Peanuts - Monday, Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman urged Americans to
conserve fuel for the coming winter by turning down the thermostat and driving
slower. He also announced a new Bush Administration campaign called "Easy Ways
to Save Energy," and said he'll travel the country to promote energy
conservation. The campaign even has a mascot: a cartoon pig named the "Energy
Hog." Some critics called it reminiscent of the 1970s, when Jimmy Carter was
mocked for asking people to turn down their thermostats while wearing a cardigan
sweater on TV.
* Unfortunately, most viewers just thought he was Mr. Rogers.
* But Jimmy Carter didn't have a cool cartoon sidekick!
* Hey, we didn't elect a bunch of Texas oil men just to tell us not to waste
* He'll travel the country on a big private jet to tell us not to waste fuel.
* Bush's #1 Easy Way to Save Energy: "Turn off Air America."
SEATTLE CRACKS DOWN ON LAP DANCES (CAREFUL! NOTE SUBJECT!)
Scrambled Eggs, No Tossed Salad - Surprisingly for such a liberal town, the
Seattle City Council on Monday approved some of the strictest adult
entertainment regulations in the US, including bans on lap dancing and putting
tips in dancers' G-strings. Girls must put out tip jars and stay four feet from
patrons, and the lights have to be at least parking-garage brightness. One club
owner complained that "For the most part, the attraction's gone."
* Seeing a stripper in bright light will do that.
* Who wants to go to a G-rated G-string club?
* Even the Space Needle seems to be drooping...But it still has to be covered
in a giant condom.
* The new town slogan is "What happens in Seattle...well, nothing happens in
* And for health reasons, the dancers have to wear rain coats, to keep from
catchin' their death o' cold!
MR. FREEZE'S FAMILY SKATES
Ice Ice Baby - Russia's Moskovsky Komsomolets newspaper reports that Vitaly
Matyukhin suffered heatstroke and developed a rare condition called "heat
exchange disorder." Now, he becomes overheated if he's exposed to temperatures
over 5 degrees C. (41 degrees F.) He can only go out when it's below freezing,
so he moved to Siberia and turned his house into a refrigerator. Unfortunately,
his wife Olga said she couldn't stand the cold, and she and his son walked out
* They just left him cold ... and he liked that.
* His wife was tired of the cold shoulder...and other very cold parts of him.
* The next time you complain about your husband's cold feet in bed, remember,
it could be worse.
* He signed up for a British dating website, to find a frigid woman.
* He should've moved to America and become the mascot for Bush's "Turn down the
MUSIC INDUSTRY HIT WITH RACKETEERING LAWSUIT
Those Snooping Dogs! - Tanya Anderson, a disabled single mom in Oregon, says the
record industry tried to coerce hundreds of thousands of dollars from her over a
false charge of downloading gangsta rap, which she doesn't even like. So she's
countersuing the RIAA for fraud, invasion of privacy, abuse of legal process and
other charges. She says they have bullied over 13,500 people into giving them
access to their private computers to farm for information, then demanded huge
sums on threat of devastating lawsuits. Her suit says this is
racketeering, under the federal RICO statute used to fight organized crime.
* Now, how could gangsta rap possibly be associated with organized crime?
* I always knew the music industry was a racket.
* She hates rackets...That's why she doesn't like rap music.
* Sure, their tactics are brutal, immoral and possibly illegal, but the music
executives really NEED cocaine money!
ROMANTIC MISHAP COSTS DRIVER'S LICENSE
He Called Her "Ralph Kramden" - In Ayr, England, vacationing bus driver Tracy
Adams had been drinking heavily when she got passionate with her boyfriend in
the front seat of his Peugeot. But he mistakenly called her by the wrong
name, and she angrily chased him off. Adams then used her cell phone to take
topless photos of herself to "show him what he was missing." That's when the
police arrived. She was arrested for drunk driving, fined and lost her license
and her job. Her boyfriend said it wasn't fair: she was only in the driver's
seat because it slides back, and "with the size of her," she was too cramped in
the passenger seat.
* Once that bra was unhooked, she needed a lot more room.
* "With the size of her"? Boy, this guy sure knows how to sweet-talk a woman!
* If you saw the topless photos, you'd know it's a miracle she could fit
into a Peugeot at all.
* After the photos hit the Internet, bus passengers demanded she get her job
HEALTH CLUBS TARGETING OLDER PEOPLE
REACH For A Beer! Stretch, Stretch!... - The health club industry reports
that people over 55 now make up a quarter of all gym memberships, and clubs are
targeting aging baby boomers who want to be healthy but don't want to be around
young hardbodies showing off. To attract older members, gyms are replacing
"Greek god" models in their ads with older, regular people; letting clients
design their own workout regimens; and adding daytime low-impact courses, such
walking, water aerobics and chair aerobics.
* They call that machine "The Chairmaster."
* Call me when they invent "Recliner aerobics."
* To get six-pack abs, you now sit in a chair and drink a six-pack.
* Sitting in a chair, designing your own workout regimen...Say, isn't that how
they got fat in the first place?
* What if the really old guys are only coming to the gym to be around young
WEIRD NAMES FOR CELEBRITY KIDS PROTESTED
That's His Beef - Young actor Shia LeBeouf publicly called on celebrities to
stop giving their kids weird names. He said he was teased mercilessly because
of his name, which means "thank God for beef," and demanded of celebrities,
"Name your kids Billy and Timmy! What is the problem with that?!"
* The problem is that Scout, Rumor, China and Moon Unit will tease them
* Apparently, Nicolas Cage didn't get the message: his rep announced
that Cage's wife just had a baby boy named "Kal-el," after Superman's birth name
on Krypton. With a name like that, he'd BETTER have super powers.
MOVIES SHOW BAD BEHAVIOR WITH NO CONSEQUENCES
"Dr. Yes" - Researchers from Australia's University of Sydney studied 87 popular
adult-oriented Hollywood movies of the past 20 years and found they do not
convey responsible messages. Movies such as 007 flicks and "Basic Instinct" are
filled with depictions of unsafe sex, drug use, smoking and drinking, but never
mention any possible negative consequences. They said Hollywood movies send the
message that negative health behaviors are safe and normal. For instance, out
of 53 sex scenes, only one, in Julia Roberts' "Pretty Woman,"
suggested condom use.
* (CAREFUL!) But that made sense, since Julia Roberts was a skanky whore who
had to have sex with Richard Gere.
* That's right: "Pretty Woman" is the most realistic movie about
prostitution that Hollywood's ever made.
* "Basic Instinct" showed the negative consequences of unsafe sex: you get
stabbed with an ice pick.
* Personally, the day James Bond puts on a nicotine patch, orders a Fresca and
refuses to have sex without a condom is the day I quit going to movies.
|A quick site note
Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!