Live Nude Girls:  (Movie House Commentary)

Dana Delaney.  (Zipped .avi). Not much nudity, but a very sexy scene

Kim Cattrall.  (Two .avis zipped together).

Lara Zane.  (Zipped .avi). 

Various group efforts.  (three .avis zipped together) . These are worth a look.

Corps a corps: 

Emmanuelle Seigner.  A recent nudity classic. (many, many .avis zipped together).

See No Evil: 

Samantha Noble.  (Zipped .avi). 




Baseball scoreboard. Zito strengthens his contract negotiations, while The Big Hurt keeps drinking from the Fountain of Youth
  • The Hurt is getting paid $500,000 this year! Maybe the best money ever spent since free agency began.

This week's movies: early reviews. The Departed - 95% positive reviews

  • Could this finally be Scorsese's year for a shiny statue?

The Weekend Warrior's predictions for the upcoming weekend

  • He thinks the new Scorsese film will finish first with about $24 million
  • The Texas Chainsaw prequel a solid second at $16m
  • Employee of the Month fourth at about $11m

Last Tasmanian Tiger filmed in 1933

  • The (presumably) extinct animal is not a tiger at all, but a large carniverous marsupial. It sometimes moves like a cat, at other times like a wolf. This is the only time I have seen one in motion.

"The Internet’s Biggest Google Whores"

The five worst superpowers to have

The Hoff no longer makes a fool of himself on recorded TV shows. Now he makes a fool of himself on live TV interviews.

Wisconsin Woman Arrested For Hamster Neglect

  • Those cheeseheads are passionate about hamster rights. I think a lot of Norwegians settled there.

One more reason why I love Norway. Norwegians will debate whether boys should pee sitting down.

Korean dictator hires doubles to do the boring jobs


The trailer for Arthur and the Invisibles, Luc Besson's new animated film.

The trailer for For Your Consideration, Christopher Guest's new film.

  • "Christopher Guest turns the camera on Hollywood for his next film, 'For Your Consideration.' The film focuses on the making of an independent movie and its cast who become victims of the dreaded awards buzz. Like Guest's previous films, 'Waiting For Guffman,' 'Best in Show' and 'A Mighty Wind,' this latest project will feature performances from his regular ensemble, including co-writer Eugene Levy."

Anna Nicole's ex-beau sues for paternity. This woman is a walking adventure. She needs to hook up with Terrell Owens.

Letterman's: "Top Ten Signs You Watch Too Much Television"

"Colbert Report: Mark Foley"

Colbert announces this week's threat-down, and bears are back on top

Colbert rails against science's "rampant rationality"

Daily Show: "There you have it, ABC's Brian Ross: worst phone sex operator ever."

"Senator Trent Lott talks about his new book and the state of the House. Part 1" ... Part 2 ... Part 3

The Daily Show's Samantha Bee discusses her own experience as a Congressional Page

  • "A Congressional page should exude the musky aroma of forbidden youth and bacon."

Daily Show: "The Foley scandal sent the North American Man/Boy Love Association, or Congress, into action."

The Daily Show's Jon Oliver reminds us that the internet is a series of tubes through which Congressmen can reach through and fondle boys.

"Claim: Boxer Muhammad Ali's refusal to wear a seat belt on a plane spurred an answering quip from a stewardess."

  • Status: unlikely.

Chavez decides to pump up Venezuela's economy by acting as a celebrity spokesperson

  • Since he caused Chomsky's dense book to rise to #1 at Amazon, Chavez has been besieged with offers from marketers worldwide.

The United States bans online gambling

  • As you probably know, the ever-shifty congressional leadership tagged it on to a Port Security Act which would be career suicide to vote against.

The Top 10 Weird Al Videos - with YouTube links

"James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover has become the most requested song to be played at funerals "

  • The link lists the Top Ten Funeral Songs, which include Candle in the Wind, Tears in Heaven and, surprisingly, Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

Tom Wolfe finds that New York and California media types are out of touch with the rest of America.

  • His study was sponsored by those same people who proved that Mr Bean wasn't sexually exciting.

NAMBLA To Support Foley

  • "Citing a philosophical kinship of karmic proportions, the North
    American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) has announced that it is
    planning on throwing its full support behind the re-election of
    embattled page-enamored ex-Congressman Mark Foley."

Here's some baseball trivia for you. (I discovered this while researching the question below.) Which of these teams has a stronger offense: Seattle Mariners or Boston Red Sox?

Answer: the Mariners scored 403 runs on the road, the Red Sox 395. The reason that you answered the Red Sox (assuming you did) is Safeco Field. The Sox score 20% more runs at home than the Ms. That's a lot of runs.

In fact, the Ms have approximately as good an offense as the mighty White Sox and Rangers. The Ms scored 403 on the road, the Rangers and White Sox 407 each.

In case you are wondering, Safeco is not the MLB park least conducive to offense. It's the AL choice, but the batters who really have to struggle are the poor Padres. PETCO park is to hitters as Coors is to pitchers. In fact, the amount Petco cost the Padres' hitters (101 runs) was actually greater than the amount Coors helped the Rockies' hitters (99 runs)!!! The Padres actually have a good offense. They scored 416 runs on the road - fourth best in the NL - but they finished a distant last in runs scored at home with 315. They were so far in last that they couldn't even see second-last, which was 353! Brian Giles knocked in 53 runs on the road, 30 at home. No Padre knocked in more than 38 at home. Mike Piazza slugged .564 on the road, .425 at home.

Poor Piazza has spent his entire career in the toughest hitters' parks in the NL. Imagine what his lifetime numbers would look like if he had played in Denver. Piazza's lifetime stats on the road: obp .390, slugging .576. His OPS of .966 on the road would be great for a first baseman. It's off the chart for a catcher. No catcher (except Piazza, of course) has ever had a lifetime OPS over .900. Bench is considered a great hitting catcher at a meager .818!!

Reader question: what about Johjima for AL rookie of the year?

Well, he would be my runaway choice if they separated ROTY into two awards, one for pitchers and one for position players. In fact, he's just about the only possibility.

But you can't compare him to the three pitchers. Johjima hit .290, but actually has the offense of a much weaker hitter - thanks to a .332 OBP. (That's actually below average. The league average is .339.) Guy never takes a walk. Mike Napoli of the Angels hit only .228 - but got on base FAR more than Johjima (.360 vs .332) The stat which most accurately parallels true offensive value is OPS. Johjima's OPS was .783, compared to a league average of .776. Meh.

In all fairness, it should be pointed out that Safeco Field is a place where offense goes to die, so Johjima is a much stronger hitter than his raw stats indicate. On the road he had the same lousy on-base percentage (.333 versus .331), because his batting eye is just as poor everywhere, but he slugged .119 better!!! His slugging average was .504 on the road, .385 at home. That's a mammoth difference. In the universe of catchers, that's roughly the difference between Johnny Bench and me. In fact, Bench's lifetime slugging avg was only .476! If you multiply Johjima's road stats times two, you have a season of .307, 24HR, 92RBI, which is very impressive for a catcher, even with the poor OBP.

Still, I just can't mention him in the same breath as the three pitchers, who were all major stars. There's Verlander. There's a closer with 35 saves and a 0.92 ERA. Or there's Liriano. Forget Rookie of the Year, Liriano would have been the Cy Young winner except for the injury.


Santana will win the Cy, I suppose. Compare their records. Liriano, pitching in identical conditions, has 'im beat in every category. Better winning percentage, better ERA, better K/9, and the same WHIP! If you look at the detailed stats, the story continues. Batters hit .216 against Santana. But they hit .205 against Liriano. Batters slugged a pathetic .360 against Santana, which seems really impressive until you see that they slugged a truly anemic .306 against Liriano!

I would place Johjima fourth in the balloting behind the three pitchers, or maybe ahead of Papelbon, if I were to give it more thought. I don't know whom I would vote for! It would have been Liriano if he had maintained that level without an injury, but given his limited action, the other two guys have equally strong cases.

Will California increase its own internet regulation?

  • Boy, I hope so. I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of governmental regulation. cities, states, counties, countries, school districts, the U.N ... EVERY governmental entity should pass its own internet regulations.

MovieJuice! looks at The Guardian - "Protect and Swerve"




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


The Double Life of Veronique (1991)

Double Vie de Veronique (1991) is a highly acclaimed Polish-French film directed by Krzysztof Kieslowski and starring Irene Jacob. It won numerous awards, many of them for Jacob, and was nominated for a Golden Globe. It will finally be coming to Region One this November in a Criterion edition.

The story is deceptively simple. We first meet Weronik in Poland, a free spirited young woman who sings like an angel. She finally lands a music gig, and drops of a heart attack at her first performance. Cut to Veronique in Paris, who not only looks exactly like Weronik, but was born on the same day at the same time, sings, and suffers from heart trouble. Further, Veronique senses the passing of Weronik.

Veronique has sense enough to turn down a music career, realizing that her heart condition is not up to it. Love is another story, however. She sees a puppeteer at a school performance, and starts getting anonymous calls and gifts in the mail. She is not fooled, but is smitten. That is pretty much the plot. In the special features, Kieslowski also gives us the moral. "You must be careful what choices you make in your life."

I bet, at this point, there is not a single one of you who wants to see this film, but that would be a mistake. First, there is amazing photography in every single frame. Music is used as a cast member more effectively than in any other film I can think of. Irene Jacob gave a superlative performance, but all of that doesn't explain the beauty of this film, which shows us the internal lives of its characters in the most intimate manner. I was captivated start to finish.

IMDb has this at the 7.5 "great" level, and that is dropped from an actual score of 8.0 by their secret recipe. There is a huge discrepancy between US voters at 6.9, and other voters at 7.8.  Ebert says don't try to analyze it, just enjoy it, and awarded 3.5 stars.

Because it is a subtitled Kieslowski film, it is art house territory, and hence only a C+ on our scale, but it is a masterpiece.  If you are an Independence Day, The Rock, Mission Impossible type, this is not your kind of movie. If you are up for a film where most of it takes place in the lead character's mind, and yours, then this is a very rewarding experience.

It doesn't hurt that Irene Jacob shows breasts and buns as both Weronik and Veronique.



The Demon (1979)

Kieslowski obviously didn't have a lot to do with this one.

The Demon is an indie Horror/Thriller made in South Africa. The DVD version is pretty clearly mastered from a VHS copy, and many scenes are very dark. As the film opens, the bad guy (let's call him the demon) breaks into a house, leaves the mother with a plastic bag over her head, and abducts their 14-year-old daughter. The father and mother hire a psychic detective (Cameron Mitchell), who will use his ESP and hopefully solve the case. He gets an impression of a building, sketches it, and the father goes there, only to be killed. When Mitchell gets back to the house, the wife shoots him. We never see or hear about any of these people again, except the demon.

Now, the demon kills a few more people, and then starts stalking two pre-school teachers. Why? Who knows? We never learn anyone's motivation in this mess.  The entire sub-plot about the kidnapping/attempted murder/psychic has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film, and could be chopped out in its entirety without changing the plot one iota. Of course that wouldn't leave enough running time for a feature film.

That isn't the film's only liability. The audio is not at all good, the video quality is primitive, the director made absolutely no use of the exotic African location, and the action sequences were either off-camera or were not at all graphic or bloody.

This is an F. The only thing noteworthy about it is the nudity, and with the poor video quality, even that is mostly ruined.

IMDb readers say 3.3 with 118 votes. Slightly more than a 5th awarded a 1, the lowest possible score. Males, 3.5. Females, 3.5, US Voters, 3.4. Non-US voters, 3.4. The score rises to a whopping 4.0 among the under 18 crowd.


Zoli Markey shows breasts and buns changing for a hot date, has the first sex in the film, and so, of course, must die per genre convention. Her credits seem to be primarily in German films.

Jennifer Holmes is the star, only shows breasts and has sex second, thus gets to live, and do in the demon. She spent most of her career on TV, most notably with two years as a regular on Newhart.






This is said to be Cameron Diaz working on a movie set.

Annette O'Toole in Cat People.


Mariah Carey, just hanging out, fully dressed

Carolyn Lowery in Candyman

Jennifer Aniston on Friends.


Mathilda May in The Tit and the Moon

Andrea Sawatzki in Helen, Fred, and Ted

Greta Scacchi in Presumed Innocent

Julia Schacht in Naboer


Mena Suvari in Edmond



Pat's comments in yellow...

Tuesday, ABC News reported that they had obtained 52 more instant message transcripts between former Congressman Mark Foley and two
different males under 18.  In one, Foley apparently interrupted a vote on the House floor in 2003 so he could text chat with a teenage boy about having
orgasms and inviting him and a friend over to his house to drink liquor so they wouldn't get caught. 

*  He interrupted his work day for sex with interns?  He might be presidential material!

*  It was a really important vote, too...One of those sexual predator laws he wrote.

Foley's lawyer announced that when he was a teenager, Foley was abused by a clergyman, although he accepts "full responsibility" for his behavior.  The lawyer also told reporters for the first time that "Mark Foley wants you to know he is a gay man."  He said the disclosure was part of his client's "recovery."  

*  He's a gay man?  Thanks for clearing that up!

*  He takes FULL responsibility, even though he is a sick, gay alcoholic who was molested by a clergyman as a child.  He's just throwin' all that out there for information.  

Sunday at the Hidalgo-Reynosa International Bridge, customs inspectors found over 500 pounds of cocaine hidden on a private bus trying to enter America from Mexico.  It was the tour bus of Los Payasonicos, a musical clown troop who have their own TV show and were nominated for a Latin Grammy for Best Latin Children's Album. Mexican media have previously linked the group with the Gulf Cartel and alleged drug kingpin Osiel Cardenas, who helped produce their recent Children's Day stadium show.  No arrests have yet been made, but the clowns are being questioned.

*  It could take awhile...It's been four days, and clowns are still exiting the bus. 

U.S. forces found a letter sent by al-Qaeda to top jihad leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi six months before he was killed, warning that they weren't happy with his work and he would be removed if it didn't improve

* When you work for terrorists, you don't want to get a bad job evaluation.