THIRD PARTY VIDEOS:
Live Nude Girls:
Not much nudity, but a very sexy scene
(Two .avis zipped
.avis zipped together) .
These are worth a look.
Corps a corps:
A recent nudity classic. (many, many .avis
See No Evil:
Baseball scoreboard. Zito
strengthens his contract negotiations, while The
Big Hurt keeps drinking from the Fountain of
- The Hurt is getting
paid $500,000 this year! Maybe the best money
ever spent since free agency began.
This week's movies:
The Departed - 95% positive
- Could this finally be
Scorsese's year for a shiny statue?
The Weekend Warrior's
predictions for the upcoming weekend
- He thinks the new
Scorsese film will finish first with about $24
- The Texas Chainsaw
prequel a solid second at $16m
- Employee of the Month
fourth at about $11m
Last Tasmanian Tiger filmed
- The (presumably)
extinct animal is not a tiger at all, but a
large carniverous marsupial. It sometimes
moves like a cat, at other times like a wolf.
This is the only time I have seen one in
"The Internet’s Biggest
The five worst superpowers
The Hoff no longer makes a
fool of himself on recorded TV shows. Now he
makes a fool of himself on live TV interviews.
Wisconsin Woman Arrested
For Hamster Neglect
- Those cheeseheads are
passionate about hamster rights. I think a lot
of Norwegians settled there.
One more reason why I
Norwegians will debate
whether boys should pee sitting down.
Korean dictator hires
doubles to do the boring jobs
MARK FOLEY E-MAILS TO BE
ADAPTED FOR ‘C-SPAN AFTER DARK’
The trailer for Arthur and
Luc Besson's new animated film.
The trailer for For Your
Christopher Guest's new film.
- "Christopher Guest
turns the camera on Hollywood for his next
film, 'For Your Consideration.' The film
focuses on the making of an independent movie
and its cast who become victims of the dreaded
awards buzz. Like Guest's previous films,
'Waiting For Guffman,' 'Best in Show' and 'A
Mighty Wind,' this latest project will feature
performances from his regular ensemble,
including co-writer Eugene Levy."
Anna Nicole's ex-beau sues
This woman is a walking adventure. She needs to
hook up with Terrell Owens.
"Top Ten Signs You Watch
Too Much Television"
"Colbert Report: Mark
Colbert announces this
week's threat-down, and bears are back on top
Colbert rails against
science's "rampant rationality"
Daily Show: "There you have
it, ABC's Brian Ross: worst phone sex operator
"Senator Trent Lott talks
about his new book and the state of the House.
Part 1" ...
The Daily Show's Samantha
Bee discusses her own experience as a
- "A Congressional page
should exude the musky aroma of forbidden
youth and bacon."
"The Foley scandal sent the
North American Man/Boy Love Association, or
Congress, into action."
The Daily Show's Jon Oliver
reminds us that the internet is a series of
tubes through which Congressmen can reach
through and fondle boys.
"Claim: Boxer Muhammad
Ali's refusal to wear a seat belt on a plane
spurred an answering quip from a stewardess."
Chavez decides to pump up
Venezuela's economy by acting as a celebrity
- Since he caused
Chomsky's dense book to rise to #1 at Amazon,
Chavez has been besieged with offers from
The United States bans
- As you probably know,
the ever-shifty congressional leadership
tagged it on to a Port Security Act which
would be career suicide to vote against.
The Top 10 Weird Al Videos
- with YouTube links
"James Blunt's Goodbye My
Lover has become the most requested song to be
played at funerals "
- The link lists the
Top Ten Funeral Songs, which include Candle in
the Wind, Tears in Heaven and, surprisingly,
Tom Wolfe finds that New
York and California media types are out of touch
with the rest of America.
- His study was
sponsored by those same people who proved that
Mr Bean wasn't sexually exciting.
NAMBLA To Support Foley
- "Citing a
philosophical kinship of karmic proportions,
American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) has
announced that it is
planning on throwing its full support behind
the re-election of
embattled page-enamored ex-Congressman Mark
Here's some baseball
trivia for you. (I discovered this while
researching the question below.) Which of these
teams has a stronger offense: Seattle Mariners
or Boston Red Sox?
Answer: the Mariners scored 403 runs on the
road, the Red Sox 395. The reason that you
answered the Red Sox (assuming you did) is
Safeco Field. The Sox score 20% more runs at
home than the Ms. That's a lot of runs.
In fact, the Ms have
approximately as good an offense as the mighty
White Sox and Rangers. The Ms scored 403 on
the road, the Rangers and White Sox 407 each.
In case you are
wondering, Safeco is not the MLB park least
conducive to offense. It's the AL choice, but
the batters who really have to struggle are
the poor Padres. PETCO park is to hitters as
Coors is to pitchers. In fact, the amount
Petco cost the Padres' hitters (101 runs) was
actually greater than the amount Coors helped
the Rockies' hitters (99 runs)!!! The Padres
actually have a good offense. They scored 416
runs on the road - fourth best in the NL - but
they finished a distant last in runs scored at
home with 315. They were so far in last that
they couldn't even see second-last, which was
353! Brian Giles knocked in 53 runs on the
road, 30 at home. No Padre knocked in more
than 38 at home. Mike Piazza slugged .564 on
the road, .425 at home.
Poor Piazza has spent
his entire career in the toughest hitters'
parks in the NL. Imagine what his lifetime
numbers would look like if he had played in
Denver. Piazza's lifetime stats on the road:
obp .390, slugging .576. His OPS of .966 on
the road would be great for a first baseman.
It's off the chart for a catcher. No catcher
(except Piazza, of course) has ever had a
lifetime OPS over .900. Bench is considered a
great hitting catcher at a meager .818!!
Reader question: what
about Johjima for AL rookie of the year?
Well, he would be my runaway choice if they
separated ROTY into two awards, one for
pitchers and one for position players. In
fact, he's just about the only possibility.
But you can't compare
him to the three pitchers. Johjima hit .290,
but actually has the offense of a much weaker
hitter - thanks to a .332 OBP. (That's
actually below average. The league average is
.339.) Guy never takes a walk. Mike Napoli of
the Angels hit only .228 - but got on base FAR
more than Johjima (.360 vs .332) The stat
which most accurately parallels true offensive
value is OPS. Johjima's OPS was .783, compared
to a league average of .776. Meh.
In all fairness, it
should be pointed out that Safeco Field is a
place where offense goes to die, so Johjima is
a much stronger hitter than his raw stats
indicate. On the road he had the same lousy
on-base percentage (.333 versus .331), because
his batting eye is just as poor everywhere,
but he slugged .119 better!!! His slugging
average was .504 on the road, .385 at home.
That's a mammoth difference. In the universe
of catchers, that's roughly the difference
between Johnny Bench and me. In fact, Bench's
lifetime slugging avg was only .476! If you
multiply Johjima's road stats times two, you
have a season of .307, 24HR, 92RBI, which is
very impressive for a catcher, even with the
Still, I just can't
mention him in the same breath as the three
pitchers, who were all major stars. There's
Verlander. There's a closer with 35 saves and
a 0.92 ERA. Or there's Liriano. Forget Rookie
of the Year, Liriano would have been the Cy
Young winner except for the injury.
Santana will win the Cy, I suppose.
Compare their records.
Liriano, pitching in identical conditions, has
'im beat in every category. Better winning
percentage, better ERA, better K/9, and the
same WHIP! If you look at the detailed stats,
the story continues. Batters hit .216 against
Santana. But they hit .205 against Liriano.
Batters slugged a pathetic .360 against
Santana, which seems really impressive until
you see that they slugged a truly anemic .306
I would place Johjima
fourth in the balloting behind the three
pitchers, or maybe ahead of Papelbon, if I
were to give it more thought. I don't know
whom I would vote for! It would have been
Liriano if he had maintained that level
without an injury, but given his limited
action, the other two guys have equally strong
Will California increase
its own internet regulation?
- Boy, I hope so. I don't know about
you, but I can't get enough of governmental
regulation. cities, states, counties, countries,
school districts, the U.N
... EVERY governmental entity should pass its
own internet regulations.
MovieJuice! looks at The
Guardian - "Protect and Swerve"
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Double Life of Veronique (1991)
Double Vie de Veronique (1991) is a highly acclaimed Polish-French
film directed by Krzysztof Kieslowski and starring Irene Jacob. It won
numerous awards, many of them for Jacob, and was nominated for a
Golden Globe. It will finally be coming to Region One this November in
a Criterion edition.
The story is deceptively simple. We first meet Weronik in Poland, a
free spirited young woman who sings like an angel. She finally lands a
music gig, and drops of a heart attack at her first performance. Cut
to Veronique in Paris, who not only looks exactly like Weronik, but
was born on the same day at the same time, sings, and suffers from
heart trouble. Further, Veronique senses the passing of Weronik.
Veronique has sense enough to turn down a music career, realizing
that her heart condition is not up to it. Love is another story,
however. She sees a puppeteer at a school performance, and starts
getting anonymous calls and gifts in the mail. She is not fooled, but
is smitten. That is pretty much the plot. In the special features,
Kieslowski also gives us the moral. "You must be careful what choices
you make in your life."
I bet, at this point, there is not a single one of you who wants to
see this film, but that would be a mistake. First, there is amazing
photography in every single frame. Music is used as a cast member more
effectively than in any other film I can think of. Irene Jacob gave a
superlative performance, but all of that doesn't explain the beauty of
this film, which shows us the internal lives of its characters in the
most intimate manner. I was captivated start to finish.
IMDb has this at the 7.5 "great" level, and that is dropped from an
actual score of 8.0 by their secret recipe. There is a huge
discrepancy between US voters at 6.9, and other voters at 7.8.
Ebert says don't try to analyze it, just enjoy it, and awarded 3.5
Because it is a subtitled Kieslowski film, it is art house
territory, and hence only a C+ on our scale, but it is a masterpiece. If
you are an Independence Day, The Rock, Mission Impossible type, this is not
your kind of movie. If you are up for a film where most of it takes place in
the lead character's mind, and yours, then this is a very rewarding
The Demon (1979)
Kieslowski obviously didn't have a lot to do with this one.
The Demon is an indie Horror/Thriller made in South Africa. The DVD version
is pretty clearly mastered from a VHS copy, and many scenes are very dark. As
the film opens, the bad guy (let's call him the demon) breaks into a house,
leaves the mother with a plastic bag over her head, and abducts their
14-year-old daughter. The father and mother hire a psychic detective (Cameron
Mitchell), who will use his ESP and hopefully solve the case. He gets an
impression of a building, sketches it, and the father goes there, only to be
killed. When Mitchell gets back to the house, the wife shoots him. We never
see or hear about any of these people again, except the demon.
Now, the demon kills a few more people, and then starts stalking two
pre-school teachers. Why? Who knows? We never learn anyone's motivation in
this mess. The entire sub-plot about the kidnapping/attempted
murder/psychic has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the film, and
could be chopped out in its entirety without changing the plot one iota. Of
course that wouldn't leave enough running time for a feature film.
That isn't the film's only liability. The audio is not at all good, the
video quality is primitive, the director made absolutely no use of the exotic
African location, and the action sequences were either off-camera or were not
at all graphic or bloody.
This is an F. The only thing noteworthy about it is the nudity, and with
the poor video quality, even that is mostly ruined.
IMDb readers say 3.3 with 118 votes. Slightly more than a 5th awarded a 1,
the lowest possible score. Males, 3.5. Females, 3.5, US Voters, 3.4. Non-US
voters, 3.4. The score rises to a whopping 4.0 among the under 18 crowd.
This is said to be Cameron Diaz
working on a movie set.
in Cat People.
just hanging out, fully dressed
Jennifer Aniston on Friends.
in The Tit and the Moon
Andrea Sawatzki in Helen, Fred, and Ted
Greta Scacchi in Presumed Innocent
Julia Schacht in Naboer
Mena Suvari in Edmond
Pat's comments in yellow...
Tuesday, ABC News reported that they had obtained 52 more instant message
transcripts between former Congressman Mark Foley and two
different males under 18. In one, Foley apparently interrupted a vote on the
House floor in 2003 so he could text chat with a teenage boy about having
orgasms and inviting him and a friend over to his house to drink liquor so they
wouldn't get caught.
* He interrupted his work day for sex with interns?
He might be presidential material!
* It was a really important vote, too...One of those sexual predator laws he
Foley's lawyer announced that when he was a teenager, Foley was abused by
a clergyman, although he accepts "full responsibility" for his behavior. The
lawyer also told reporters for the first time that "Mark Foley wants you to know
he is a gay man." He said the disclosure was part of his client's "recovery."
* He's a gay man? Thanks for clearing that up!
* He takes FULL responsibility, even though he is a sick, gay alcoholic who was
molested by a clergyman as a child. He's just throwin' all that out there for
Sunday at the Hidalgo-Reynosa International Bridge, customs inspectors found
over 500 pounds of cocaine hidden on a private bus trying to enter America from
Mexico. It was the tour bus of Los Payasonicos, a musical clown troop who have
their own TV show and were nominated for a Latin Grammy for Best Latin
Children's Album. Mexican media have previously linked the group with the Gulf
Cartel and alleged drug kingpin Osiel Cardenas, who helped produce their recent
Children's Day stadium show. No arrests have yet been made, but the clowns are
* It could take awhile...It's been four days, and clowns
are still exiting the bus.
U.S. forces found a letter sent by al-Qaeda to top jihad leader Abu Musab
al-Zarqawi six months before he was killed, warning that they weren't happy with
his work and he would be removed if it didn't improve
* When you work for terrorists, you don't want to get a
bad job evaluation.