Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


Hello Scoopy!

You know, every man was disappointed when the nude scene of Rebecca Romijn Stamos was cut from “Godsend” to get a PG-13. I understand that this movie is on DVD in the USA, and the nude scene wasn’t reinstated into the movie, because the rating for the DVD is also PG-13.

But now (since September 1, 2005) there is a German DVD of “Godsend” available. It`s an Euro Version, with more special features than the American DVD, like deleted and expanded scenes. Could it be that for the Euro Version, they put the nude scene to the deleted scene section? It is a fact, that studios sometimes do that for the European market! An example is a Danny Devito movie called “What’s The Worst That Could happen?” In the US vrsion of the DVD there are 9 deleted scenes, while in the European version there are 11. Number 10 and 11 in Europe are the topless scenes of Sascha Knopf!! In the US they needed the cut to get a PG-13, but in Germany the same DVD with this nude deleted scene is rated safe for anyone at least 6 years old! Could it be that this is the same for “Godsend,” which has no deleted scenes on the Region 1 DVD and some deleted scenes on the German Region 2 DVD. Perhaps  the cut nude scene of Rebecca is one of them. Do you know something about this?

Greetings from Germany


Sadly, not. Can anyone help out here?

For those of you unfamiliar with the various references

  • Here is the complete, uncut version of the missing scene from Godsend. (Zipped .wmv).
  • Here is the Sascha Knopf scene he is referring to:

  •  And just for fun, here are two HD caps of 'Becca's underwater scene in Femme Fatale

Hot off the presses:

At this point (film just opened), the quality is poor, but here is Maria Bello's pubic flash in A History of Violence.  Here is a zipped .avi., while the thumbnail to the right leads to a larger version of the collage.

Here's some caps of much better quality - from a recent episode of Bodies, a BBC2 series in its second season. The beauty is Hannah Yelland.


Some B movies:

Check out the reviews for Mortuary Academy and Campfire Tales at the Movie House. Neither review includes much beyond plot and cast summaries. Campfire Tales is a so-so horror anthology targeted at the youth market. Mortuary Academy is a bad comedy which really has no target. The level of humor is targeted at the 11-12 year old set, ala Gilligan or I Dream of Jeannie, but the hot button is corpse-fuckin', and the zany students manage to defeat the slimy necrophiliac professor by hot-wiring a corpse's vagina! (The very scene pictured below.) I don't remember Gilligan getting into any similar predicaments.

Mr. Howell? That's another story

Jennifer MacDonald in Campfire Tales
Cheryl Starbuck in Mortuary Academy


Crimson Ghost

Captures and comments from the Ghost

Lisa Comshaw in "Pleasure Zone"

Raelynn Saalman in "Erotic Confessions"


As usual, LC manages to be ahead of the rest of us. Here are his advance treasures for the week:

The Devil's Rejects

Rome, Episode 6

Ginger Lynn Allen


Polly Walker
Jessica Helmer Francesca Fowler
Kate Norby unknowns
Priscilla Barnes    
Sherry Moon    

Special Bonus

LC did a collage of some hi-def images of Mimi Rogers in The Door in the Floor


'Caps and comments by Dann

Young Gods  (2003)

From Finland comes this 2003 drama about 4 young men who push the limits until the limits push back.

Newly graduated from high school, sons of wealthy parents, the four hold a graduation party at the mansion of Tavi, who has just inherited it from parents who died when he was young. During the wild party, Tavi videotapes everything. Eventually, he comes upon one of his friends having sex, and he tapes that, too. The next morning, as the four friends watch the tape, an idea develops. They'll all secretly tape themselves having sex, and afterwards, they'll all view the tapes. The best tape will win a prize. As the tapings proceed, all sorts of problems confront the friends, and relationships are sorely strained.

An interesting film which poses questions about friendships, limits, and human sexuality.

Jenni Banerjee Laura Malmivaara


'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we crank up the old Time Machine and go back to 1980 for a Lucio Fulci flick, Contraband, to view a classic "Babe in Bondage" scene with Ivana Monti. Ivana is tied up, tortured and raped after being stripped naked in a rather graphic scene.


 Three classic Brigitte Bardot poses from a 1974 edition of ER magazine
 Sonia Aquino in last year's Signora
Natasha Lyonne looking sadly wasted in a public appearance. (This is not new, but I don't remember having seen it before.)
 As if to atone for Lyonne, Jessica Biel is looking very healthy indeed in a recent see-through
 Kylie Minogue gallery - a little of everything
 Jutta Fastian in Nicola
 Nina Kunzendorf in Maria's Last Journey
Tyra Banks getting her televised breast exam. (This was to prove they were natural.)
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap

"The popularity of Miss Moss's distinctive style is undiminished by the revelations of her turbulent private life, including the allegation that she snorted ketamine, a horse tranquilliser."

Ultra-Conservative Justice John Roberts: "Tricked You, Bitches"

The trailer for the one sequel that HAD to be made: Big Momma's House 2

Hollywood films recklessly ignore consequences.

  • "Hollywood might be bad for your health, according to a new study, which concludes that blockbuster movies paint a consequence-free view of sex and drugs."

Irish rock stars Bob Geldof and Bono are among the bookmakers' tips to win the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday. Seems OK to me. They seem like better choices than former winners Arafat and Kissinger.

Starting at the top. You say there's another Supreme Court position open? For his next trick, Bush chooses someone who has never been a judge. It is felt, however, that her extensive experience as a Wal-Mart greeter and receipt checker will help her to re-shape American's judiciary.

How to Tar and Feather A Grown Man

A gazillion stills and posters from the biopic about Johnny Cash's youth, I Walk the Line (Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon)

Here's a feature story about our friend and contributor, Pat Reeder, high priest of drive time patter, and probably the world's foremost expert on bad celebrity music. (We've read Hollywood Hi-Fi at least a dozen times!)

The book

The album


Astro Pic o the Day: another look at Saturn's sponge-shaped Hyperion, with some comments.

Keira Knightley says she's so close to her mum they smoke and talk about sex together.

  • And then they have a couple of drinks, and maybe a bra strap makes an appearance, and ... well, you know the rest if you've seen any foreign movies. I recommend "Mi Madre, Mi Amor" or "The Cuntess and Mommy Krisco."

The Filthy Critic reviews A History of Violence


  • "Don't let them take me to Area 51! Please . . . " begged the pilot

"BUSH EMBARKS ON CROSS-COUNTRY MOTORCADE TO PROMOTE LESS DRIVING" ... 200-Vehicle Convoy to Send Message of Conservation, President Says

  • "While some skeptics wondered whether Mr. Bush’s cross-country trek would succeed in convincing Americans to drive less, it has already inspired one citizen to do so, as Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Tex) today volunteered to cancel his trip to Texas to stand trial on conspiracy charges."

Now THAT is one cool bridge. The French bridge is nearly two miles long, and higher than the Eiffel Tower. Geez - I might be too chickenshit to drive on it.

Film Jerk's Early Report for October 2

100 Hooters pics - Web Girls Online (Sorry, no nudity)

URL says it all:

Christmas shopping for that hard-to-please female? How about some Russian genital-shaped underwear? Queen Elizabeth wears them, and now your mom can too. Or she could just go commando and accomplish the same thing.

"Completing his domination of the airwaves, funnyman Adam Carolla now has shows on every network on television, delivering to an unquenchable thirst for all things Carolla."

Cassini captures pics of a previously unseen portion of Hyperion

RIAA sued for racketeering!

"The astronomers who claim to have discovered the 10th planet in the solar system have another intriguing announcement: It has a moon." The tentative names are Xena and Gabrielle! (The International Astronomical Union, a group of scientists responsible for naming planets, is deciding on formal names for Xena and Gabrielle.)

From the department of obvious studies: Crappy Movies Caused Box Office Slump.

  • That's certainly true, but much of the deficit to 2004 (the definition of the so-called slump) happened because there were two powerhouse movies in 2004 that brought non-moviegoers into theaters for a one-time non-recurring experience: The Passion of the Christ and Fahrenheit 911.
  • Unfortunately for the limited creative minds in Hollywood, neither of those successful films forms a good basis for a sequel, although I'm sort of surprised that nobody has planned a prequel for Passion.

Pat Reeder

Pat's comments in yellow:

The Brady Bunch - Florida recently passed a law allowing residents to shoot people in a public area if they believe they are threatened.  But the Brady Campaign gun control group plans to run ads reading, "Warning: Florida residents can use deadly force.  If you are involved in a traffic accident or near-miss, remain in your car and keep your hands in plain sight.  If someone appears to be angry with you, maintain to the best of your ability a positive attitude and do not shout or make threatening gestures."  State tourism officials said the group is promoting their agenda with scare tactics that threaten to harm Florida tourism workers.

*  So they shot them in self-defense.

Try The Pol Pot Stickers - A theme restaurant has opened in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, called the "Khmer Rouge Experience Cafe."  It's meant to remind diners of Pol Pot's 1975-1979 "killing fields" genocide of up to 1.7 million people.  The waitresses wear the black fatigues of Maoist guerrillas, the music is propaganda songs from the '70s, and the menu offers such commie-torture cuisine as salted rice water and corn mixed with water and leaves.  But it seems most locals don't want to be reminded: the owner lamented that in two weeks, they've had only two customers, both Europeans.

*  And they haven't been seen since.
*  Europeans don't mind overlooking dictators' atrocities.
*  They were a Scotsman and an Englishman...It was the best meal they've ever had.
*  If I want to be tortured at a theme restaurant, I'll go to Planet Hollywood.
*  Worse, they're being sued by the Fashion Cafe for stealing their fashion models' menu.
*  Most '70s theme restaurants just torture the diners with disco music.

Plane Weird - Saturday, Alaska Airlines debuted the "Salmon-Thirty-Salmon," a 110-foot jumbo jet painted to resemble a giant salmon. (Picture)  30 painters worked around the clock for 24 days to detail all the scales and fins.  It was created in partnership with the Alaska Fisheries Marketing Board, to publicize the role played by the airline in transporting Alaskan seafood.

*  And to provide Mile High Club members with a place to spawn.
*  But the salmon plane can only fly into the wind.

Bazooka Joke - posted the Transportation Security Administration's compilation of complaints about airport security.  They include a woman who said the screening wand caused problems with her "magnetic breast implants;" a man with an outstanding warrant who called ahead to ask if he'd be arrested at the airport; a man complaining about a body search by "a colored operative" who seemed to be "enjoying some queer homosexual tendencies;" and a man who complained about his treatment after
he joked about carrying a bazooka.

*  And he wasn't even carrying it!  It was packed in his suitcase!
*  He was sent to a prison full of guys with queer homosexual tendencies.
*  That woman's magnetic breast implants always excite the wand.
*  The woman with magnetic breast implants has bigger problems now: she's stuck to her refrigerator and can't move.

Frozen Assets - Natalia McLennan of Manhattan (pictures) pleaded not guilty to money laundering and prostitution, despite having bragged of being New York's #1 escort in a cover story for New York Magazine.  She claimed to charge $2,000 an hour and generate $1.5 million a year for a high-class Manhattan brothel, keeping 45 percent for herself.  She came to court in a miniskirt, see-through blouse and spike heels.  She could face up to 15 years in prison, but she claimed she had no idea she'd be held after the hearing.  She said she was unable to post $50,000 bail and sobbed uncontrollably as she was taken to jail in handcuffs.

*  She should be able to pay her bail soon: she charges $3,000 an hour for wearing handcuffs.
*  It was so humiliating!  They weren't even mink handcuffs!
*  It would be such a waste to send her to prison when she could be doing community service by servicing the community.
*  She thought they'd trust her: all the lawyers and judges know her EXTREMELY well.
*  She doesn't understand: Donald Trump brags to the media about screwing everyone in New York, and he's not arrested!

Dollars To Donuts - Australian pastry chef Robyn Vanessa Laybutt cut her little finger while reassembling a doughnut machine.  She said she told her bosses she didn't know how, but they didn't demonstrate how or give her a manual, and instead suggested she "just give it a go."  It was greasy, she didn't have gloves, and she sliced her pinky.  After a six-year legal fight, Australia's highest court found her employer negligent and upheld her lower court damage award of $369,000 (US).

*  Her legal fees: $370,000.
*  Her boss said he doesn't know how he'll pay that much, but the judges told him to "just give it a go."

Truly Flaky - Hungary's national police report that a prison escapee was captured after he posted an ad, complete with his photo, on an Internet dating website.  He exchanged e-mails with a woman, set up a date and even bought her a ring.  But when he showed up to meet her at a pastry shop, he discovered his date was not only a man, but also a police detective who arrested him.

*  But the criminal replied, "Nobody's perfect."
*  Still, as Internet blind dates go, this one wasn't that bad.
*  He asked for a second date...He's been in prison a long time.
*  He'd hoped he'd end the evening in handcuffs, but that's not what he had in mind.

The Last Deal - The Irish bookmaking agency Paddy Power sparked outrage with an ad that shows DaVinci's "Last Supper" with the Disciples all holding cards, Jesus behind a stack of poker chips and Judas with 30 pieces of silver.  The slogan: "There's a place for fun and games."  A spokesman said they're sorry if people were offended, but it was tongue-in-cheek and won't be pulled.  They're used to controversy: a recent ad upset animal lovers by showing a rabbit with a missing foot and the caption, "Make your own luck."

*  Yeah, well, that's what Judas thought HE was doing.
*  In their next ad, Jesus heals the rabbit, then they go to Vegas together.
*  So, What Would Jesus Do?  Hold 'em or fold 'em?

Reading Is Funda-mentally Retarded - Matthew Brooke, 26, was charged with felony theft in Madison, Wisconsin, after he allegedly smashed a display case at the Historical Society with his elbow, grabbed a bound copy of the Pennsylvania Evening Post from 1777, and stuffed it into his pants.  It's valued at $5,000, but Brooke told police that he took it because there was a story on page 106 about a historical figure named William Hill, and he wanted to read it.

*'s on the Internet.
*  If only it hadn't been turned to page 104 in the display case!
*  The book was open to page 106, but he wanted to read it on the john.
*  At least it's good to hear that some young people are really into reading.

This Stinks! - Japanese auto makers have become the first to start trying to reduce a scary health hazard: new car smell.  Research shows that the scent that makes people want new cars is the result of VOC's - "volatile organic compounds" - chemicals that leach from plastic, vinyl, paint and glue.  They've been linked to headaches, drowsiness, nausea, sore throats, and in prolonged heavy exposure, cancer.  All the top Japanese car makers are changing their formulas and installing air filters to remove VOC's, and US automakers are expected to follow suit soon.

*  But then, there'll be NO reason to buy an American car!
*  VOC's must also cause brain damage, which would explain a lot of the driving.
*  The sore throat is just from yakking on your cell phone.
*  Soon, to get that new car smell, you'll have to fill your back seat with inflatable beach toys.

"Aviva" Is Italian For "Sucker" - At the Aviva Bar at the tony Baglioni Hotel in Kensington, England, an anonymous American hedge fund manager tried to impress supermodel Jasmine Lennard by whipping out his black American Express card.  Before the night ended, he'd bought Lennard and everyone one else there - most of whom had no idea what was going on - $63,400 (US) worth of champagne and cocktails.  But Lennard didn't leave with him.  She said he was "very sweet," but "it was not quite enough to make me leave my boyfriend.  Maybe he could try diamonds next time!"

*  Man, I would hate to have her boyfriend's American Express bill!
*  $63,400 wouldn't even cover Kate Moss's cocaine bill.
*  Let me get this straight: his JOB is to recognize smart investments?!

Too Sexy For My In-Laws - Paris Hilton announced that she has ended her engagement to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis.  She did not comment on reports that his parents saw stills from her porn video and banned her from the family.  She just released a statement to Us Weekly saying she's "so sad," but "I've realized that this is the right decision for me.  We remain best of friends, and I'll always love him.  I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time."  No word on what happened to the $5 million diamond ring he gave her.

*  It's like the wedding: it'll never come off.
*  How can you not respect the privacy of someone who sends a press release to Us Weekly, asking for privacy?
*  She needs to meet up with that idiot with the black American Express card.
*  Paris just could not bring herself to marry a man whose family would disinherit him if he did.

He Plays A Singer!  I'm Laughing Already! - Former "American Idol" contestant Constantine Maroulis has signed a deal to star in a sitcom pilot for ABC.  He told People magazine that being on "AI" was "the best thing that's ever happened" to him, and "I'm not cursed with that stigma of being the American Idol."  He also said Quentin Tarantino told him he'd be a big star.

*  And who knows more about sitcom humor than Quentin Tarantino?

O.J. Simpson signed autographs at a horror fan convention in Los Angeles

* While there, he tried on Freddy Kruger's gloves, but insisted they didn't fit.

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