"A Thousand Pleasures"

A Thousand Pleasures (1968) (Day Two) -- I will repeat last nights comments for continuity sake.

During the credits, an unknown naked go go dancer dances in front of three mirrors. This has nothing whatsoever to do with the film, and we never see her again. As the film opens, our hero is washing dishes in a frilly apron, while his shrew wife berates him for being a slob. He stabs her to death, loads her into the back of the old station wagon, and goes on a road trip. Shortly thereafter, he picks up two female hitchhikers, who give him a blow job and lure him into their house. Little does he know that they are more than just two hitchhikers with very bad wigs. They are lesbians intent on stealing his sperm and getting pregnant. They want a baby to replace the baby they already have, who is in her mid 20s, and is first seen in a crib wearing only diapers. She proceeds to take off the diapers, get out of her crib, and masturbate with a candle.

Our hero decides to give her something better than a candle to play with, but is interrupted by the two lesbians with bad hair who demonstrate their lovemaking, and give him knockout drops. The two then leave, and he wakes up in a bathtub to find a woman he calls Booberella playing with him. She takes him to bed. Then he tries to escape, and a guy (convenient friend of the lesbians with bad wigs) knocks him over the head. He wake sup in tie for a sex show, which entails one of the lesbians with bad wigs breast feeding the "baby," while the other whips her with a bull whip. He decides he might as well screw Booberella again. Meanwhile, another women tries to seduce the convenient friend, who burns her with a cigarette.

Booberella warns him he is in trouble and should leave. He tries to escape, but is captured again. One of the lesbians with bad wigs nocks him senseless with a hearth shovel, then the two burn his feet in the fireplace so he won't try to escape again. When he comes to, he drags a straight razor out of his pocket, and crawls over to baby, slitting her throat. Next to go is the first lesbian with a bad wig. The second one is more of a challenge, but he manages to choke her to death. Then Booberella ties him to a bed and chokes him to death with her left tit.

Booberella and the extra woman decide to become lovers and raise baby together. (I know baby is dead. So did they).

Roberta saw no reason to have the camera parallel to the floor. The film is narrated as a flashback by our hero, who seems to recall things that happened after Booberella strangled him to death with her left tit. What dialogue there was was clearly dubbed.

Tonight, we have the unknown naked go go dancer, Donna Stone as Booberella, Janet Banzet as the other woman who only shows breasts, and Uta Erikson as the other lesbian with a bad wig. All but Banzet show everything.

IMDb scores this 3.8 based on 10 votes. Ed Wood, move over. The Findlays are every bit as incompetent as you, but add a special dimension of strangeness. The only positive is that they got six women ot of their clothes. I suppose fetishists will want to see the whipping and bondage. This rates a D+. Every scholar of the era and genre needs to see a Findlay film, and this one could be worse.

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  • Donna Stone (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
  • Janet Banzet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Uta Erickson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Hey, Scoop

    Do any of your contributors have a FAQ and the best software/hardware for capturing DVD clips?   Not to compete with what you do, just for my own funny little home movies.

    • I rarely do this. Just about every possible thing there is to know about about DVD conversion can probably be found at Doom 9.
    • Tuna recommended DVD Shrink 3.1. I did use it once, and it had the following positives: (1) free (2) self-explanatory and easy to use (3) reasonably effective, though not great. Fantastic for capturing video, but some problems when the DVD has overlapping audio tracks.
    • I invite any experts to comment on your own methods.
    Scoop - Any word on when the movie "Havoc" with Ann Hathaway will be released in U.S. ?
    • No Idea. still says TBA 2004. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    That bionic chick

    I think this is the only time The Bionic Woman whipped out her small ones for the camera. The movie is called Two People, and I think it was her first film, although she had played roles on TV for a couple of years before this flick came out.


    Jane March

    This one is not from Shiloh, but I'm following up on yesterday. Here is the tiny li'l rascal in The Color of Night. Bruce Willis drives a toy tank over Jane's cooter



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Emily Mortimer...the UK actress and co-star of the Samuel L. Jackson movie, "Formula 51". Here she is looking great in a couple of topless scenes from "Young Adam" (2003). Look for her on the big screen in the upcoming film "The Pink Panther", starring Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...a little math. Two former Heffers + two big snakes = "Boa vs. Python".

    • Angel Boris (July '96). In the 'caps we have toplessness. In the vids we also get some excellent rear nudity plus some near miss frontal views. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Angel Boris zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    • Bikini cleavage only from Jaime Bergman (January '99 and 45th Anniversary Heffer). (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Walking Tall"
    Call this 2004 version of Walking Tall a remake of the 1973 film if you want, but it isn't. It's more of a "kinda-like".

    The 1973 film told the real-life story of Tennessee sheriff Buford Pusser, a wrestler who returned to his home town to find corruption and crime. He became sheriff and cleaned up the town with a four-foot-long wooden club, before he was killed in a mysterious car wreck.

    In this modernized version, a U.S. Army Special Forces vet returns to his home town to find corruption and crime, and......yeah it's the same story with different characters.

    Lots of ass-kicking fun; no acting awards in this one, but it's still enjoyable, especially if you're a fan of The Rock.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Blazing Magnums" (1976) aka "Strange Shadows in an Empty Room"
    Fairly good French-Canadian Dirty Harry knock-off which would have been forgotten but it's an early Carole Laure movie. Mia Farrow's big-busted sister Tisa Farrow. as a blind woman in a tight sweater is another plus.

    "Street Law" (1995)
    Dumb martial arts movies. A glaring continuity error is when Christina Cox and Jeff Wincott are already in their underwear two seconds after someone knocks down their door rudely interrupting their sex scene.

    Hunger: Creature Comforts
    Another collection of four episodes.

    "Cabin Pressure" (2001) aka Hijack'd
    Rachel Hayward plays an female airline pilot who goes into stewardess mode and sleeps with her co-pilot. They don't call it a cockpit for nothing as Airports' George Kennedy would say.

    First Wave: episode Hypnotic
    Lots of alien sex in this episode. Unfortunately Madison's Stacy Grant who doffed her clothes off in the first episode kept her clothes on.

    "Liberty Street" season two
    Major downer of this series it has Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi.

    "Fanny Hill" (1983)
    This naughty scene was cut out from the R-rated video. Maria Harper is not to be mistaken for Marie Harper of Playbird magazine (a british knockoff of hefmag magazine).

    "Paradise Falls": Season 2, week 3
    Danielle Hampton doffs her top in sex scene with the fully clothed Michelle Latimer. While it's the series first such lesbian sex scene it's quite tame compared to the regular ones.

    Immortal: episode Happily Never After
    One of the handful of episodes czechploitation director Lloyd Simandl help produce for this series. However none of them have his trademarked lesbian threesomes or white slavery auctions.

    • Eva Aichmajerova: the only time she kept her clothes on for a Simandl production. Under the pseudonym Eva Major she was the January 1998 guccimate and made many naughty hardcore sex videos.

    Cleaning up my hard drive.

    • Jhene Irwin: pokies in "The Fishing Trip".
    • Jo-Anne Bates: Perfect Timing actress shows cleavage in Nightman episode.
    • Donna Tunney: partial boob as female-mailman in a Degrassi episode.

    addendum/erratum: Eva Major
    It was who made the Eva Major/Aichmajerova connection a few years ago. However she no longer does hardcore. And Lloyd Simandl hasn't released a czechploitation flick in almost a year.

    • Eva Aichmajerova: hardcore masturbation video "Private Performance" (1998) as Eva Major. WARNING extremely explicit. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)