A Thousand Pleasures (1968) (Day Two) -- I will repeat last nights comments for continuity sake.

During the credits, an unknown naked go go dancer dances in front of three mirrors. This has nothing whatsoever to do with the film, and we never see her again. As the film opens, our hero is washing dishes in a frilly apron, while his shrew wife berates him for being a slob. He stabs her to death, loads her into the back of the old station wagon, and goes on a road trip. Shortly thereafter, he picks up two female hitchhikers, who give him a blow job and lure him into their house. Little does he know that they are more than just two hitchhikers with very bad wigs. They are lesbians intent on stealing his sperm and getting pregnant. They want a baby to replace the baby they already have, who is in her mid 20s, and is first seen in a crib wearing only diapers. She proceeds to take off the diapers, get out of her crib, and masturbate with a candle.

Our hero decides to give her something better than a candle to play with, but is interrupted by the two lesbians with bad hair who demonstrate their lovemaking, and give him knockout drops. The two then leave, and he wakes up in a bathtub to find a woman he calls Booberella playing with him. She takes him to bed. Then he tries to escape, and a guy (convenient friend of the lesbians with bad wigs) knocks him over the head. He wake sup in tie for a sex show, which entails one of the lesbians with bad wigs breast feeding the "baby," while the other whips her with a bull whip. He decides he might as well screw Booberella again. Meanwhile, another women tries to seduce the convenient friend, who burns her with a cigarette.

Booberella warns him he is in trouble and should leave. He tries to escape, but is captured again. One of the lesbians with bad wigs nocks him senseless with a hearth shovel, then the two burn his feet in the fireplace so he won't try to escape again. When he comes to, he drags a straight razor out of his pocket, and crawls over to baby, slitting her throat. Next to go is the first lesbian with a bad wig. The second one is more of a challenge, but he manages to choke her to death. Then Booberella ties him to a bed and chokes him to death with her left tit.

Booberella and the extra woman decide to become lovers and raise baby together. (I know baby is dead. So did they).

Roberta saw no reason to have the camera parallel to the floor. The film is narrated as a flashback by our hero, who seems to recall things that happened after Booberella strangled him to death with her left tit. What dialogue there was was clearly dubbed.

Tonight, we have the unknown naked go go dancer, Donna Stone as Booberella, Janet Banzet as the other woman who only shows breasts, and Uta Erikson as the other lesbian with a bad wig. All but Banzet show everything.

IMDb scores this 3.8 based on 10 votes. Ed Wood, move over. The Findlays are every bit as incompetent as you, but add a special dimension of strangeness. The only positive is that they got six women ot of their clothes. I suppose fetishists will want to see the whipping and bondage. This rates a D+. Every scholar of the era and genre needs to see a Findlay film, and this one could be worse.

Hey, Scoop

Do any of your contributors have a FAQ and the best software/hardware for capturing DVD clips?   Not to compete with what you do, just for my own funny little home movies.

• I rarely do this. Just about every possible thing there is to know about about DVD conversion can probably be found at Doom 9.
• Tuna recommended DVD Shrink 3.1. I did use it once, and it had the following positives: (1) free (2) self-explanatory and easy to use (3) reasonably effective, though not great. Fantastic for capturing video, but some problems when the DVD has overlapping audio tracks.
• I invite any experts to comment on your own methods.

• No Idea. Anne-Hathaway.com still says TBA 2004. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Other Crap:

• GALLUP: Kerry Pulls Even With Bush at 49%-49%. I guess Newsweek's poll wasn't as bad as suspected, because Gallup produced similar results. Gallup says, "There is little question that Thursday night's presidential debate has made a significant difference in the presidential race." Bush's lead of eight points on Spetember 24 has now dissipated into a dead heat. The sampling error is plus or minus three at 95% confidence.
• Fox News apologizes for Cameron's crazy fabricated Kerry quotes about manicures. :
  • "It was a poor attempt at humor", said Murdoch's designated lackey.
  • The Guardian article continues (immediately slipping from reporting into editorializing), "The "metrosexual" story taps into a persistent theme underlying the election race, in which the Republican party and its supporters in the media have sought to make a campaign issue of the candidates' perceived masculinity. At the party's convention in New York last month, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger called Mr Kerry's advisors "economic girlie-men".
  • If that is true, why are the Republicans pussy-footing around? Are we to believe that they aren't even any good at dirty campaigning? Ol' LBJ at least had some balls. He would simply have said that Kerry was a homosexual (LBJ would have pronounced that word "homersexshill") and that his wife was obviously a fag-hag providing him with a convenient beard. Except Lyndon would have used much more colorful terminology. Lyndon's general theory, as applied to this case, could be summed up as follows- "I don't care if Kerry smokes the sausage or not. I just wanna hear the sumbitch call a press conference to deny it!"
• Virgin Atlantic Offers Upper Class Passengers Double Beds Onboard. When I used to fly first class a lot, I always chose my airline based oin two things (1) the number and quality of movies available in the personal entertainment system (2) the amount of contact allowed with the lapdancers in the champagne room.
• Which will keep you drier, running through the rain or walking?
• From the crackpot department: There are secret messages in the candidate's speeches when the debate is played backwards. (1) Kerry says "Paul is dead" (2) Bush sings "Stairway to Heaven"
• I always love "stupid laws", but I'm afraid I don't buy into this list. It's funny, however. Really stupid Laws. Example: "In Walnutton, Oregon, it's prohibited to put live squirrels in your pants for the purposes of fortune-telling."
• Special "educational" anti-drug film from many decades ago
• FilmJerk's Early Report for this week.
• Britney Spears buys a $7 million home in Malibu
• The Snowman movie. This is a pretty cool little short film - professional quality.
• What gift says "I love you" like an edible G-string? Well, OK, maybe the edible tampon.
• Tim Robbins (Mystic River) and Miranda Otto ('The Lord of the Rings' trilogy) are in talks to join Tom Cruise in director Steven Spielberg's The War of the Worlds
• "Over strenuous objections from the Bush administration, Congress is moving to increase protections for federal employees who expose fraud, waste and wrongdoing inside the government."
  • Lawmakers of both parties say the measures are needed to prevent retaliation against whistleblowers, who reveal threats to public health, safety and security.
  • But the administration says the bill unconstitutionally interferes with the president's ability to control and manage the government.
• "Over strenuous objections from the Bush administration, Congress is moving to increase protections for federal employees who expose fraud, waste and wrongdoing inside the government."
  • Lawmakers of both parties say the measures are needed to prevent retaliation against whistleblowers, who reveal threats to public health, safety and security.
  • But the administration says the bill unconstitutionally interferes with the president's ability to control and manage the government.
• " ... according to London News, Britney Spears has reportedly told her friends that she is already pregnant"
• The craziest baseball events of the year just completed.
• The wacky new lavender $50 bill. OK, the lavender color I can handle, but why is Grant wearing a lamé jump suit?
• X-Rated solitaire
• The FBI has been ordered to hand over files which are said to prove the British government spied on John Lennon.
• DAVE BARRY: At last, scientists tackle an important issue: sex
• A look at the President's notes from the debate
• Camerongate upgate. Reporter who fabricated ludicrous Kerry quotes has been "reprimanded" by Fox News!!! Apparently they have given him a very stern talking-to for making up stuff like "'Women should like me! I do manicures' , 'Didn't my nails and cuticles look great? What a good debate!' , and my own personal favorite, 'I'm metrosexual - [Bush is] a cowboy.'"
• Fun facts about one of America's wackiest Presidents, Lyndon B. Johnson
• Drudge thinks Kerry cheated in the debate. Amazingly, the rules are written so that being prepared is not allowed, and it is required to be a dumb-ass! Well, in that case, the President kicked some butt!
• The origins of obscure English expressions.
• Despite weak reviews, Shark Tales opens big with about a 50 milion dollar weekend. Ladder 49 takes the #2 spot with $22 million. I Heart Huckabees finished in the top 20, despite being on only four screens, with an incredible $75,000 per screen.
• Can the angel Moroni beat Skeletor? Find out with the Book of Mormon action figures
• This might be worth a bookmark: Places that viruses and trojans hide on start up
• The Ugliest Girls on the Web
• Pope John Paul II on Sunday beatified the last Austro-Hungarian emperor, Charles I, and a German mystic whose visions inspired Mel Gibson's controversial film 'The Passion of the Christ'. Critics believe the elevation of Charles I to be politically driven by the conservative right.
• Here's the SNL Grease sketch with Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon.
• "In the presidential campaign's closing weeks, Democrats are bracing for an 'October Surprise,' an event so dramatic it could influence the election's outcome. The capture of Osama bin Laden, for instance."
• Clinton and Carter attended Church more than Dubya. Not that there's anything right with that. And Dick Cheney? In his own words, "one holy-ass motherfucker."
• The Virtual Museum of Lederhosen. Hey, c'mon. It's Oktoberfest.
• Jamie Foxx will play Tubbs in the big screen version of Miami Vice. Michael Mann may direct, but has not yet been confirmed.
• Former Peruvian president Alberto Fujimori has unexplained millions in bank accounts. It's easy to explain. He drank a ton of Inca Cola, and he returned all the deposit bottles.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

• Lindsay Wagner  (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Emily Mortimer...the UK actress and co-star of the Samuel L. Jackson movie, "Formula 51". Here she is looking great in a couple of topless scenes from "Young Adam" (2003). Look for her on the big screen in the upcoming film "The Pink Panther", starring Steve Martin as Inspector Clouseau.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Today from the Ghost...a little math. Two former Heffers + two big snakes = "Boa vs. Python".

• Angel Boris (July '96). In the 'caps we have toplessness. In the vids we also get some excellent rear nudity plus some near miss frontal views. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Angel Boris zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

• Bikini cleavage only from Jaime Bergman (January '99 and 45th Anniversary Heffer). (1, 2, 3)

"Walking Tall"
Call this 2004 version of Walking Tall a remake of the 1973 film if you want, but it isn't. It's more of a "kinda-like".

The 1973 film told the real-life story of Tennessee sheriff Buford Pusser, a wrestler who returned to his home town to find corruption and crime. He became sheriff and cleaned up the town with a four-foot-long wooden club, before he was killed in a mysterious car wreck.

In this modernized version, a U.S. Army Special Forces vet returns to his home town to find corruption and crime, and......yeah it's the same story with different characters.

Lots of ass-kicking fun; no acting awards in this one, but it's still enjoyable, especially if you're a fan of The Rock.

• Ashley Scott

"Blazing Magnums" (1976) aka "Strange Shadows in an Empty Room"
Fairly good French-Canadian Dirty Harry knock-off which would have been forgotten but it's an early Carole Laure movie. Mia Farrow's big-busted sister Tisa Farrow. as a blind woman in a tight sweater is another plus.

• Carole Laure: topless in jeans.
• Tisa Farrow: pokies.
• Gayle Hunnicutt: Dallas star shows some see through pokies.
• Andree St-Laurent: breasts.
• Julie Wildman: cleavage.

"Street Law" (1995)
Dumb martial arts movies. A glaring continuity error is when Christina Cox and Jeff Wincott are already in their underwear two seconds after someone knocks down their door rudely interrupting their sex scene.

• Christina Cox: underwear, cleavage and partial boob.
• bodydub: Christina's stunt boobies.
• Linda Barnett: cleavage, underwear bondage photos.
• Sugar Bouche: full frontal as uncredited stripper-cardgirl.
• stripper: another uncredited peeler topless.

Hunger: Creature Comforts
Another collection of four episodes.

• Jennifer Beals: sexy only in "And She Laughed".
• Lisa Bronwyn Moore: topless in "Week Woman". Her second Hunger episode.
• Brooke Smith: domitrax outfit in "Week Woman". Ouch.
• Stellina Rusich: breasts in "The Replacement".
• Clare Sims: breasts and near pubes in "The Sloan Men".
• photograph: unknowns topless in "The Sloan Men".

"Cabin Pressure" (2001) aka Hijack'd
Rachel Hayward plays an female airline pilot who goes into stewardess mode and sleeps with her co-pilot. They don't call it a cockpit for nothing as Airports' George Kennedy would say.

• Rachel Hayward: breasts in sex scene.

First Wave: episode Hypnotic
Lots of alien sex in this episode. Unfortunately Madison's Stacy Grant who doffed her clothes off in the first episode kept her clothes on.

• Keegan Connor Tracy: partial boobs in sex scene.
• Saskia Gould: partial boobs in alien sex scene.
• Julie Patzwald: tight blouse.
• Stacy Grant: kind of sexy.

"Liberty Street" season two
Major downer of this series it has Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi.

• Marcia Laskowski: hands over boobs in "The Heat of the Night".
• Henriette Ivanans: brassiere in "Secret Games".

"Fanny Hill" (1983)
This naughty scene was cut out from the R-rated video. Maria Harper is not to be mistaken for Marie Harper of Playbird magazine (a british knockoff of hefmag magazine).

• Maria Harper: full frontal.

"Paradise Falls": Season 2, week 3
Danielle Hampton doffs her top in sex scene with the fully clothed Michelle Latimer. While it's the series first such lesbian sex scene it's quite tame compared to the regular ones.

• Danielle Hampton: partial boobs gettin' it on with Michelle Latimer.
• Chantal Quesnelle: partial buns naked in bed.
• Raven Dazuda: cleavage only.

Immortal: episode Happily Never After
One of the handful of episodes czechploitation director Lloyd Simandl help produce for this series. However none of them have his trademarked lesbian threesomes or white slavery auctions.

• Eva Aichmajerova: the only time she kept her clothes on for a Simandl production. Under the pseudonym Eva Major she was the January 1998 guccimate and made many naughty hardcore sex videos.

Cleaning up my hard drive.

• Jhene Irwin: pokies in "The Fishing Trip".
• Jo-Anne Bates: Perfect Timing actress shows cleavage in Nightman episode.
• Donna Tunney: partial boob as female-mailman in a Degrassi episode.

addendum/erratum: Eva Major
It was SportyOne.com who made the Eva Major/Aichmajerova connection a few years ago. However she no longer does hardcore. And Lloyd Simandl hasn't released a czechploitation flick in almost a year.

• Eva Aichmajerova: hardcore masturbation video "Private Performance" (1998) as Eva Major. WARNING extremely explicit. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)