A Feast of Flesh

 (2007)

Slated for release on Nov. 06 from The Bloody Earth Films branch of AI, A Feast of Flesh (2007) is a hooker vampire offering from husband and wife director/writer and producer team Amy Lynn Best and Mike Watt. They wanted to make something commercial. Amy grew up loving The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, and had always wanted to play a madam, so she suggested a "vampire hookers vs. mercenaries" film with her as the madam. When Mike Watt decided to give the head vampire hunter an Irish accent, he knew he would play that role, and the basic conflict was decided, a group of IRA mercenaries vs. a house of vampire hookers.

A young couple, about to be married, wants to experience a threesome, and their friend also wants to get another friend laid to get over his girlfriend that left him and headed out of town. He wins an invite, the only way to get into the house, in a poker game. Meanwhile, the very same ex-girlfriend was attacked on her way out of town, and rescued by one of the vampires. The events in motion will cause a huge upheaval. The IRA mercenaries have an agreement with this particular house, that if they don't recruit locals, or eat locals, they will leave the vampires alone. They had no idea the ex-girlfriend was a local, but the head of the mercenaries was looking for an excuse to take them out anyway.

Those who enjoy finding goofs will have a field day here, such as a straight beating a full house, but I did not find that a distraction. There are also times when the film betrays its small budget, but on the whole, it's both competent and entertaining. There's plenty of splatter and some of the gore effects are excellent. My personal favorite is in the opening scene, where a vampire rips a man's face off and the rescued girl asks, "can you teach me to do that?"

By offering some new twists on vampire legends, the filmmakers were trying for a somewhat unique approach to the vampire vs. hunter story. They clearly were not going to let tradition get in the way of telling a good story, and they have succeeded here admirably, to the point where I found this film quite watchable, despite having sworn never to watch another vampire film.

 

This is a solid C. Any horror lover should see it. (IMDb, as of this writing, still lists it as IN PRODUCTION, hence there are no votes or reviews.)

This marks the first time Happy Cloud Productions has included nudity in a film, and it features breast exposure from Amy Lynn Best, Lesley Vernot, Zoe Hunter and Rachelle Williams. There are also male buns.

 

 

Amy Lynn Best

Lesley Vernot

Rachelle Williams

Zoe Hunter

 

 

 

Knocked Up

In all fairness, so that I don't scare you away from a movie you'd enjoy, eighty percent of over forty-one thousand people on IMDB loved this 2007 comedy. I personally found it predictable and formulaic, amusing and occasionally really funny, but also often boring. In fact, the funniest scenes I saw were in the deleted scenes and outtakes of the DVD, but again, that's just me, and I've often confessed I'm not big on comedies.

Ben is a loser slob whose brilliant idea for success is a web site that lists nudity in movies. Allison (Katherine Heigl) is a beautiful and upcoming career girl who has just been promoted from producer to on-camera interviewer for E! television.

They accidentally meet in a bar, and after many, many drinks wind up in a one-night stand. Eight weeks later, Allison realizes her career plans may be in for a hiccup as she's pregnant. Ben reacts as you'd expect, but eventually decides he must do the right thing. Unfortunately, that's not always easy when dealing with a highly hormonal pregnant woman.

Katherine Heigl was great in this, as was the rest of the cast, and while it didn't especially float my boat, I'd still recommend it since it's pretty clear to me that most people that see it like it.

Nautica Thorn and Stormy Daniels	Kate Heigl	Emerson Riley

The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

A Los Angeles county commissioner ordered that tomorrow, Kevin Federline can take full custody of his two sons from Britney Spears.  No reason was given, but two weeks ago, he put strict conditions on her behavior, and TMZ.com reports that she has met almost none of them.  They say Brit went out clubbing that very night and since then has never enrolled in parenting class, never submitted to a drug test or met with a drug counselor; and she was photographed driving her kids around after being charged for not having a valid license. 

*  In her defense, she wasn't steering: one of the kids was. Plus, she never would've done that if she hadn't been drunk, so it's hardly her fault. 

*  Also, she was naked. 

*  She thought she was being a good mother by not making them have to hitchhike.

*  She misunderstood: she thought she was supposed to meet twice weekly with a drug DEALER. 



Friday, Paris Hilton appeared on David Letterman's show, and Dave spent her entire segment grilling her about jail.  She said she was there to promote her fashion line and her new perfume "Can-Can," and "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."  Dave replied, "This is where you and I are different, because this is all I want to talk about." When a fan shouted, "I love you," she replied, "I love you, too," and Dave asked, "Someone you met in prison?"  People.com reports that Paris broke down in tears after the show and vowed never to appear with Dave again.

*  What a tragic loss to the art of conversation that will be! 

Radiohead upset the music industry by letting fans download their new album and pay what they think the music is worth.

* As if Britney Spears doesn't have enough problems.