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"1919, crónica del alba"

1919, crónica del alba (1983) is a coming of age story set in the 1919's. It starts in 1939, where José Garcés is a prisoner in a French POW camp after the defeat of Spain's Republicans. He writes the story of his coming of age in 1919 in Zaragoza. After his father suffered financial losses in German war bonds, he leaves José working in a pharmacy for room and board, so he can finish school. The love of his life is in a remote city, and her family is discouraging their relationship. He makes do with a local girl, Cristina Marsillach. She is the daughter of "Spanish Lawrence Olivier" late Adolfo Marsillach, and is best known for Terror at the Opera, Every Time We Say Goodbye and Marrakech express.

At the same time, José becomes increasingly interested in socialist causes, and looks up to a teacher who leads a coup attempt. Marsillach shows breasts in three nude scenes, and her bush shows clearly through a sheer white slip. IMDB readers have this at 7.5 of 10. It is available on a Spanish all region PAL, so those of you who watch movies on your computer should be able to see it. It was made for TV, and is presented in Full Screen. The transfer is less than perfect. Marsillach is lovely, and the José Garcés character was very likeable, which made this an enjoyable watch. C+.

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  • Cristina Marsillach (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

    "The Demon Within"

    The Demon Within (2000), AKA The Sculptress, is a supernatural/succubus story centered around Sarah (Kate Wright), who is from England, but studying sculpture at a San Francisco art academy. She sports the worst British accent (when she remembers to use it) that I have ever heard. She runs afoul of her teacher, who is French, but with no accent, because she keeps sculpting things other than the live model she is supposed to be doing. Then he realizes that it is "psychic sculpting," and she can't help herself. Meanwhile, her neighbor is an ex actor and ex priest, who Satan has chosen to impregnate Sarah. Satan screwed up, however, as the neighbor (Jeff Fahey) is impotent. If you think that is silly, you should hear him reciting Shakespeare to his apartment walls.

    The exposure comes from Emmanuelle Vaugier, who plays a stripper/figure model, who is fired from the art school, and is killed by Fahey. We see a long shot of her breasts and buns when she is fired, a pretty good bun shot in the peep booth, and buns and a side view of a breasts in her apartment with a lesbian girlfriend. The girlfriend shows one lovely large breast, but is, unfortunately not identified. The plot is silly, the acting is terrible, but some of the scenic shots of San Francisco are very nice, including a dusk shot of San Francisco taken through a restaurant window in Sausilito. The few critics who reviewed it were cruel, wondering allowed how it got even a limited theatrical release. IMDB readers have it at 3.4 of 10. I have to agree, this is a bad movie, and not in the good sense of the word. D-.

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  • Emmanuelle Vaugier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    new this week - Salton Sea  - it is trapped somewhere between a Tarantino film and a parody of a Tarantino film. I referred to it in the article as a White Trash Hamlet - guy (Val Kilmer) is haunted by the ghost of his wife, feigns a new personality to plot against the killers. Vincent D'Onofrio is a hilarious baddie, possibly breaking all the previous records for over-the-top, as a hillbilly Hannibal Lecter.  No nudity.

    classic nudity - B Monkey - Asia Argento, the star of XXX, shows her naughty bits - even a beaver shot while removing her panties (collage #1). The movie is pretty cool, despite complete box office failure in the USA. It is, more or less, a British version of True Romance. Dignified, mild-mannered wimp falls in love with a bad girl. A real bad girl. She wants to get away from her past, but can't.  Everybody ends up pointing guns at each other at the end.

    classic nudity - Gitano. I am working on some of Tuna's Spanish films collection. Of course, I am supposed to do the ones he hasn't done yet, but who can pass up Laetitia Casta stark naked? I almost had a heart attack when I watched the trailer, and simply saw her running in a low cut dress! The link leads to the TUNA/ICMS review, because I have nothing else to say other than that she has the best breasts I've ever seen.


    Other crap

    • Lion's Gate will make a biopic of John Holmes, starring Val Kilmer
    • is this a portrait of Shakespeare?  Actually, if I'm not mistaken, it's Christian Slater.
    • allegedly, this is page 24 of the November 1993 issue of Hustler. If this is real it portrays an amazingly accurate picture of the WTC disaster.
    • I don't know if this picture has been faked, either, but if so, it is a great fake. Look at Dubya reading with a child. Look closely at Dubya's copy of the book.
    • Barbra Streisand quotes Shakespeare. Turns out it was Sammy "Gadabout" Shakespeare,  the fishing pole guy, and not Will.
    • Porn Star Teri Weigel is suing over lost flexibility from a1994 wreck. The Jurors had to view her videos before and after. How come I never get called for jury duty on those days?
    • do you remember the story about 33 pounds of weapons-grade uranium being found near the border with Iraq? First it turned out it was only 5 ounces, then it turned out it was lik-m-aid!
    • do you remember the controversy about the people who create sanitized version of famous movies by removing all the sex, violence and language. Well, fuck those assholes, but it reminded me of these blessed people - who add extra sex and violence into movies! This is a really funny article. Some excerpts:

      "We love movies, but prefer to watch them with extra sex, nudity, profanity or extreme violence. Because we recognize others may have a similar desire, we provide this editing service to you. Our mission is to provide access to Hollywood entertainment free from the objectionable lack of these elements, thus helping maintain high popular entertainment values."

      Cumming claims that God commanded him to provide this service last week as he was praying for "the greater enlargement of all" with a troupe of acrobats on the set of his latest film.

      Potential enhancements to classic films, Cumming said, include the Consummation Series, featuring films like "The Sound Of Music," "My Fair Lady" and Disney favorites; the Stripped-Naked Costume Drama Collection ("Room With a View," "Sense and Sensibility"); and an ultraviolent version of "Raging Bull."

      "They just keep fighting and fighting and fighting. It goes on for hours," Cumming said. "Until De Niro's head finally just comes off. And, talk about classic scenes: In 'Casablanca,' sure, he can leave her on the tarmac. But if you want, you can follow them both onto the plane and watch them rock that sucker till the tires blow."




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    A couple of collages from everyone's favortie, "Boogie Nights".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    For my next trick...

    I offer the tastey treat of Justine Priestley (yup, 90210's Jason Priestley's older sister) in "Up Against Amanda". This is Fatal Attraction meets Lolita. Jason's little sister plays a young woman, abused as a girl by all sorts of male-type people, sent away to a home for blowing away her step-dad and recently released into an upper middle class neighborhood. By movie's end Amanda (Justine) has done in... I dunno maybe a half-dozen guys by inventive means that include the GI tract in a couple of places. Upper and lower. Ouch. So ya go along and I aint buyin this Amanda-as-femme-fatale thing except, darn it all, Justine does a kickass job of selling it all. So by the eventual and inevitable boff-the-lonely-neighbor scene I'm figuring go ahead, good idea, she's a fox, who's going to know? Dumb mistake. Mayhem ensues, the climax is reached and Amanda goes out in style. Mindless crap but entertaining.

    Seven collages. A teaser down-blouse starts it all. A shower scene takes up the next two collages, in which you get to see Justine's boobs and bum... but only barely and in a mirror darkly. You begin to despair of seeing the goodies, when Amanda drops her towel to show off one killer bum. Two collages worth and I put in only a third of the frames I captured. Obsession is such an ugly thing. Then comes the boffing in a hot tub scene (How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs). There's a collage of a couple of frames showing one of Justine's mini-hooter, and then finally the single best frame. End of goodies. Do take a look at the header of collage 6: see how frigging cute Justine is?

    • Justine Priestley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Today's theme are movies made in Oz starring mostly Australian actresses.

    Caz Lederman Caz bottomless as prostitute teaching Sean Connery's son Jason Connery some undercover work in "Winner Takes All" (1984) (aka The Boy Who Had Everything).

    Loene Carmen The singer/actress topless, but wearing pasties while shaking her booty in "The Nostradamus Kid" (1993)

    Noni Hazlehurst Topless, and pregnant as a guppy in the comedy "Waiting" (1991). It looks like she swallowed a beachball.

    Judy Davis Topless in "Winter of Our Dreams" (1981).

    Belinda Giblin Topless at a love protest in "Jock Petersen" (1974).

    Peta Downes Topless in the Linda Blair thriller "Dead Sleep" (1990).

    "Bloodmoon" (1989) is an Australian slasher pic taking place at a girls school. Much nudity with the exception of Helen Thomson who plays the daughter of a Hollywood actress

    • Christine Amor topless as carnival bunny in an earlier movie "High Rolling" (1977) (aka High Rolling in a Hot Corvette), a superior movie to Corvette Summer done the following year starring Luke Skywalker.

    • Cheryl Ladd skinnydipping in the US/Oz co-production "Now and Forever" (1983). Shows how far you have to go to see Cheryl naked.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today a classic scene from "Fraternity Vacation" that probably has been done by everybody but me. So now I am taking my turn as we look at the topless Barbara Crampton and Kathleen Kinmont in this 1985 teen movie.

    Liv Tyler Topless in the 1996 Bertolucci film, "Stealing Beauty".

    Amanda Tapping
    (1, 2)

    The "Stargate SG-1" co-star teams up with TV's "Highlander" in "The Void". There is a nude scene with nice breast exposure, but I'm afraid it's a pair of stunt breasts. Vidcaps by nmd.

    Chloë Sevigny
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless in her love scene with Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry" (1999).

    Katie Price
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    aka Jordan, the famous, ultra busty UK pin-up babe. Here are some paparazzi pics of her showing off her mammoth robo-hooters at the beach.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Could She "Bee" A Bigger Egomaniac? - Barbra Streisand posted a tirade on her website against the media for overlooking the "imperative message" in her fax to Dick Gephardt and concentrating on the spelling errors ("Gebhardt"). Her "TRUTH ALERT" claims the fax was dictated over the phone to a new assistant, and because of "diverted news priorities," reporters failed to note the fact that Streisand is a "former spelling bee champion."

  • Whoa! Move over, Condoleeza Rice!
  • She's right! If reporters had their priorities straight, her grade school spelling bee win would've been front page news!
  • Really? Can she spell "delusional"?
  • She can't even spell "Barbara!"
  • They did read her imperative message and decided bad spelling was more interesting.

    She's Trying To Be More Lifelike - A VH1 insider told the New York Post's Page Six that Liza Minnelli and hubby David Gest have become a "nightmare" to the network. VH1's reality show about their lives is set to debut in November, and they're supposed to already be promoting it, but they've yet to film even one segment. The spy said it's because "Liza is too busy rehearsing for it. I guess she has no idea what reality TV means."

  • Liza has no idea what reality means.
  • And viewers should be grateful for that!
  • Come on! It takes them a lot of practice to play a heterosexual couple!

    Other News
    * The WB is planning a show in which Emmanuel Lewis, Mindy Cohn, Vince Neil and MC Hammer all share a house...Actually, they do that now, just to save money on rent...Here's a tip for them: don't let MC Hammer build the house.