Nightmare on Elmo's Street

This really is an amusing shit storm of a movie filled with women who dress inappropriately, which makes it one of Bill's best.  Here is the skinny:

What in the world can a poor fella say about a movie peopled with procreating puppets?  Alliteration anyone?  

Nightmare on Elmo’s Street has a whole bunch of Bill Zebub regulars knowing a whole bunch of puppets in the biblical sense.  But in no case was the interaction consensual because, in a world constructed by Bill, every girl prefers to be stuffed by him, not by a child’s toy.  

Imagine Pulp Fiction as a fever dream – non-linear to be sure with jump cuts everywhere but add lots of T and lots of A and even some closeups of a vagina or two, plus a birthing scene, an accidental impalement, many weak attempts at humor (Bill eats a bowl of cereal that is called Nun of Your God Damned Business, which his GF played by Vanna Blondelle takes the wrong way, because it is funny, so funny, so very, very funny, yes it is) and finish it all off with hallucinations, played out in what looks to be a laser-tag establishment.  There you have the recipe for Nightmare on Elmo’s Street. 

Let’s come clean, shall we?  None of us who eagerly awaits the next edition of the Funhouse watches a Bill Zebub movie for the high drama, uplifting message or side-splitting humor.  If we chuckle a bit here or there, marvel at some piece of dialogue or give out a frightened yelp at the sight of pierced flesh, it is all gravy on top of the mashed potatoes that is Bill’s gals in the buff.  It is here that Nightmare shines because some of the more attractive of the Zebub regulars show up and take off.  Their clothes, that is.  The highlights then:

Here are all the videos - nearly two gig wortjh

Vanna Blondelle plays one of Bill’s conquests who is upset that he leaves their bed after an off-screen romp to eat some knee-slappingly named breakfast cereal (see above).  We see her righteous booty in a prolonged scene as she walks away from the camera (this is staple of Bill’s movies and one that I heartily approve.  Way to go, Bill).  And in a laser tag scene we see a pierced nipple.

The heavily tattooed Scarlett Storm as another of Bill’s bed partners.  She has between her legs first Bill and then an inseminating puppet.  Quickly thereafter – a gestation in minutes, not weeks or months – Scarlett gives birth to a hybrid creature that looks very much like Tiny Tim in Muppet’s Christmas Carol.  So now we know why the little fella was crippled and doomed.

Rachel Crow with a stuffed bear who resembles Lotso in Toy Story 2 or 3, not sure which, who has his head firmly planted in the middle of her spread legs.  She appears unamused but heaven only knows why she does not get up and walk away, not that I’m blaming the victim here, just the director.

Dangrr Doll pretty much repeating the Vanna Blondelle scene.  In a thong? Check.  Walks away from camera to reveal booty?  Check.  Reveals breasts in strangely lighted establishment.  Check.  Okay boys, that’s a wrap.

 

Erin Brown (she who had been Misty Mundae) in a thong as she, too, walks away from the camera

and the ever-present, ever-nekkid Lydia Lael in some sort of conflict over a Jesus puppet nailed to a cross.  Think of it as Muppet’s Easter Story.  By some cruel twist of fate, the cross impales Erin, so Lydia takes out her revenge by burning the poor, innocent puppet.  I think.  Not sure. 

Hey, take a look at this scene because you will see the impaling cross (just a stick that Erin holds over her belly) appear and disappear as the action plays out.  Let’s just say that Bill thinks continuity is the hobgoblin of small minds. 

Who else?  Oh right, a quintet of thoroughly nekkid hot unknowns tied to crosses.  Short scene.  Really just a still.  But the gals are hot.  Did I mention that already?

Okay, then, Nightmare has a two-hour run time and more than an hour of it has some attractive woman in some state of some undress.  Mostly.  That's why I bought the damn thing and why I watched it.  And Bill delivered.  As a summary to Nightmare, let me quote my favorite Muppets characters: It was trite.  It was nonsensical.  It had nekkid babes.  I loved it. 

There ya go.  Am about halfway through the list of Zebub movies, but it looks as though quite a few are out of print and in DVD only.  He does have a habit of repackaging them in high def so if we are patient and able, we might get through all of them eventually.  Wouldn't that be an achievement second only to the Apollo project?