Saturday

Spanish-cinema.com is updated with Volume 1, Issue 9. This includes more than 250 .jpg files, including many, many TV captures which have never appeared in the Fun House.

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Hand

 (1981)

The film stars Michael Caine as a successful cartoonist who lives in Vermont with his wife and daughter. He and his wife are not getting along well, and she wants to move to New York with their daughter and have him visit on weekends. He is not impressed with the idea.

The highlight of the film is a brilliant scene in which the husband and wife are arguing in their car, stuck behind a slow truck on a curving road with an obnoxious tailgater behind them. She pulls out to pass, only to see an oncoming car. He motions for the car behind them to pull back, but is ignored, and then his drawing hand is caught between the car and the truck, and is severed.

The search for the hand comes up mysteriously empty, even though the ring is found. Caine ends up taking a teaching job and a new girlfriend in California. He becomes aware of periods of blackout, and the severed hand seems to be following him and strangling anyone who makes him angry. His wife and daughter arrive for Christmas as many things come to a head.

This film was an early effort from director Oliver Stone. For one decade (1986-1995), Stone was one of filmdom's most controversial and successful auteurs, churning out a steady stream of films which were both engaging and provocative, often technically impressive, almost always with a strong political slant. People may have loved or hated his films, but they always talked about them.

As a director, 1986-1995

  1. (8.10) - Platoon (1986)
  2. (7.90) - JFK (1991)
  3. (7.49) - Salvador (1986)
  4. (7.20) - Wall Street (1987)
  5. (7.10) - Born on the Fourth of July (1989)
  6. (7.00) - Nixon (1995)
  7. (6.90) - Natural Born Killers (1994)
  8. (6.89) - Talk Radio (1988)
  9. (6.80) - The Doors (1991)
  10. (6.60) - Heaven & Earth (1993)

During that era, Stone won two "Best Director" Oscars for Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July, and was nominated a third time for JFK. (Nixon also earned him a screenwriting nomination.) His efforts after that point seem to be missing the passions and obsessions that made him so effective at his peak, despite the fact that some of his more recent films have also been his most technically accomplished.

Director, Post-1995

  1. (6.79) - Comandante (2003)
  2. (6.60) - U Turn (1997)
  3. (6.50) - World Trade Center (2006)
  4. (6.50) - Any Given Sunday (1999)
  5. (5.40) - Alexander (2004)

 

His efforts before his career peak include some screenwriting successes, including his first Oscar for the screenplay of Midnight Express.

Screenwriter, Pre-1986

  1. (8.10) - Scarface (1983)
  2. (7.50) - Midnight Express (1978)
  3. (6.60) - Conan the Barbarian (1982)

But his early directorial efforts were simply routine genre films, not completely without merit, but clearly the work of a young man who had not yet found his mature voice, and not really identifiable as characteristic "Oliver Stone films," as we currently understand that term.

Director, Pre-1986

  1. (4.89) - Seizure (1974)
  2. (4.87) - The Hand (1981)

Those first two films are still the two with Stone's lowest IMDb ratings, and The Hand edges out the earlier effort as the lowest-rated of Stone's career. It is a standard psychological thriller. I loved the scene where the hand was lost, but got little out of the rest of the film.

The available reviews are only 17% positive, per Rotten Tomatoes, but that's based on a tiny base, one positive review out of six available, and the one positive review was from Vincent Canby, the distinguished critic of The New York Times, who seems to have been the only one to recognize Stone's directorial talents as early as 1981.

This is a D+.

 

Annie McEnroe, as Caine's local California girlfriend, shows breasts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The Beach Girls

 

The Time Machine went back to 1982 to fetch this teen comedy. The bad news: this DVD has the picture quality of a VHS tape. The food news: it does have it's fair share of VHS-quality boobie exposure.

 

Debra Blee was top-billed and had just one quick flash of tit exposure.

 

Jeanette Linne topless at a wild party.

 

Jenna Tomasina: breasts on a boat trip.

 

Jenna Tomasina and Val Kline at the beach.

 

Val Kline shows off her very nice set.

 

We wrap it up with some topless unknowns.

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Charmed"

Shannen Doherty, Season 2, Episodes 17 and 18

Episode 17

Episode 18

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twisted Sisters

Little fun horror movie where Fiona Horsey plays twin sisters. Of course one of them is evil. The good sister, Jennifer, doesn't know about the bad sister, Norah, who hates Jennifer because she got to have the good life. The insane Norah starts killing men in different fun ways, always leaving a trace back to Jennifer, who is (conveniently enough) having blackouts and doesn't remember anything.

I like Fiona. She is not stunning but there is something about her, I've seen her in other movies, but I think this one shows her off the best. If you like plots like an evil sister doing it with the clueless good sister's boyfriend while the good sister watches, all tied up, this is your kind of movie.
 

Fiona Horsey

 

 

 

 

 

There are two brief instances of Winona Ryder nipple exposure in Autumn in New York. They are, in fact, so brief that films clips are useless without slo-mo. Fortunately, we live in the age of the internet in which a need for slo-mo will eventually be met with the delivery of same! Here are those scenes in slow motion.
I don't know a damned thing about the film Natale a Miami, but C2K seems to have seen it, and has captured some hot babes in bikinis.

Vanessa Hessler

Fabiana Tambosi

 

Yesterday it was Confessions of a Driving Instructor, today it is the women of Confessions of a Window Cleaner. (Several vids zipped together. 119 meg) If you are not familiar with this series, Tuna wrote extensively about the Confessions films in his review of Confessions of a Pop Performer.

 

 

 

 

 

Mannequin

Kim Cattrall plays a mannequin that comes to life in Mannequin (1987). No nudity by Kim but some nice caps.

 


 

Masquerade

To see Kim Cattrall naked you needed to wait a year until Masquerade (1988) - she is shown topless.

Meg Tilly is very sexy in her night clothes

and Dana Delaney is in a bikini.

 


 

Gentlemen's Relish

Gentlemen's Relish (2000) stars Billy Connolly as a photographer who starts taking naughty pictures. Most of the caps show topless ladies posing for the camera.

You see a lot of Liz Ewing (and there is a lot to see!)

Emma Stansfield and Rebecca Johnson

Emma Hillier

Katie Blake

and some unidentified women in a group photograph.

 


 

Dirty Filthy Love

Dirty Filthy Love (2004) is another British movie and Anastasia  Griffith is shown topless.

 


 

Joshua Tree

Joshua Tree (1993) shows a topless Kristian Alfonso, or her body double who is Lisa Marie Stagno (aka Crystal Breeze). Not sure what Kristian has done to deserve a body double.

(Film clip)

 


 

Idlewild

Some nice nudity in Idlewild (2006) by some unknown dancers.

There is also a brief view of Paula Jai Parker's nipple poking out (film clip)

 

 and Paula Patton shows some see-through pokies.

 


 

800 Bullets

800 Bullets (2002) aka 800 Balas is a Spanish movie.

Yoima Valdes is shown completely naked

 and some unknown party goers are shown topless.

 


 

 

10 To Midnight

Lots of nakedness in 10 To Midnight (1983), which is a Charles Bronson vigilante-type movie. Most of the women shown naked also ended up dead, slaughtered by a naked murderer. (Here are several film clips, encompassing all the nudity.)

Completely naked is June Gilbert

topless are Jeane Manson

Patty Tippo

and Ola Ray.

Jeana Tomasina is in her underwear.

 


 

September

September (2003) is a German film and Stefanie Stappenbeck is briefly topless.

 


 

Soundless

Another German movie is Soundless aka Lautlos (2004). Nadja Uhl is shown briefly topless.

 


 

Facing Window

Facing Windows aka La Finestra di fronte (2003) is an Italian movie and Giovanna Mezzogiorno is topless.

 


 

You, Me and Dupree

No nudity in You, Me and Dupree (2006) but Kate Hudson is looking good.