Drop Dead Sexy (2005):

I mentioned this yesterday when LC sent in his caps. It's an eccentric comedy about dumb criminals, featuring Jason Lee and Crispin Glover, presumably because Michael Rappaport was busy.

Lee plays an unemployed slacker and Glover portrays a gravedigger who is not only dim-witted, but a barely functioning alcoholic as well. At least he's not fat, so he followed one part of Dean Wormer's famous advice. They get hoodwinked by a crime lord into driving some cigarettes across the border, but their truck blows up on them, and all the cigarettes are destroyed. Since they used their own truck, the mobster considers them responsible for the shipment, and they find themselves in debt to a violent crime kingpin to the tune of a quarter of a million dollars. Between them they can't come up with a quarter of one dollar, so their only choice is to commit additional crimes. The gravedigger remembers that a rich man's wife was wearing a priceless necklace when she was buried, so they reason that they need only to dig her up, steal the necklace, fence it, and pay off their debts.

I'll bet you've guessed that it isn't going to be that simple. It's one of those movies where nothing is as it seems, except for the fact that the woman is really dead, which turns out to be a real problem for our boys, since an incident involving the cemetery's night watchman leaves the lads unable to return her to her grave. They lug her corpse around for the rest of the film's running time. The gravedigger complicates matters still further because he has sexual longings for the corpse. He has many lovely conversations with the coroner (Brad Dourif), who has his own favorite corpse all washed and ready.

Abut halfway through the film it morphs from a silly "dumb crooks" comedy into a murder mystery. It seems that the dead girl drowned, as the police suspected. Only one problem. The cops found her in a lake, and she drowned in heavily chlorinated water. Somehow, our boys get hooked into bringing the swimming pool killer to justice, which works out quite well for them, since it turns out to be the same crime lord who holds their IOU.

The story would have been sufficient just as I have described it, but there are many more characters and sub-plots. There are so many, in fact, that they often seem to contradict one another. The dead rich woman's best friend, who is the film's only really sympathetic character, is offended when Jason Lee insults her dead friend, and talks about how the deceased was really a wonderful, soulful person who married the rich guy because he truly cared for her. Yet in other scenes, we see that she really was the scheming golddigger Jason Lee had accused her of being. I have a feeling that they must have rewritten and re-edited this film many, many times, had remnants of many versions, and couldn't quite fit the various remnants together properly. The film just couldn't decide whether it wanted to be one of those excessively complicated film noirs or a farce, and it ended up a hybrid of the two. Imagine if the Big Sleep's Humphrey Bogart had been replaced by Abbott and Costello, but all the other characters remained the same.

There are a few laughs and a couple of memorable scenes. You have to love a scene where two of cinema's oddest actors, Brad Dourif and Crispin Glover, sip white wine and discuss the merits of a naked corpse in romantic candlelight. (Seen below in the first four "unknowns.") Glover is kind of fun to watch in this.  This is the first time I've ever seen him with a significant part which was nothing like Crispin Glover - and with a deep southern accent to boot.

The film premiered at SXSW last March (appropriate since it was filmed in Austin), but never got any bites for theatrical distribution. 5.3 at IMDb, which is just about what I expected.

Official site:

C- by our scale. Not a winning comedy, and not mainstream because of the strong necrophilia thread, but capable of pleasing a cult audience with some dark, offbeat comedy.

The nudity is kind of disappointing. There is quite a bit of it, but it all comes from an anonymous corpse and background strippers. The principals stay clothed - including the one stripper who is identified!

Melissa Keller (no nudity, but worth a look)




Third party videos:

This is awesome. Monique Coleman, who co-starred in High School Musical, falls out of her costume on Dancing With The Stars!! Zipped .avi here, samples below.


Here is a zipped .avi of LC's Meital Dohan clip from Weeds. The capture can be found in yesterday's edition.


I have to watch Clay Pigeons again. I saw it once, many years ago, and have no memory of it other than that I thought it was just OK. Since then, several people who know my taste have told me that it's really worthwhile. Either way, there's no disagreement on the naked merits of Georgia Cates. Here are her nude scenes. (Three .avis zipped together.)


Tuna and I are probably Gorky Park's strongest proponents. The plot of the Cold War thriller is OK, but just OK. Everything else in the film is terrific. It features some great atmosphere, interesting Russian politics, and three great characters played by Lee Marvin, Brian Dennehy, and Bill Hurt. (Movie House Review. We both think it is underrated with a 6.5 at IMDb.). Even better, it features Joanna Pacula without her clothing. (Two .avis zipped together.)


Tuna got a kick out of Neil's Party (Movie House Review), which is what American Pie would have been if it had been British Pie instead. Here are the stars:



Something Awful reviews: "Ice T's Pimpin' 101"

Coulter: "Al Gore Is A "Total Fag"
Jon Stewart interviews the President of Pakistan
...  Part 2 ... Part 3

Hunk of left-wing man-meat George Clooney gets an unexpected tip of Stephen Colbert's hat.

Colbert Tip/Wag - Tip to Chevy, Wag to Cosby

Colbert Report: Stephen is empowered by the new Oprah and Friends channel on XM Radio.

Colbert Report: Stephen has a warning to parents out there about his new video game, World of ColbertCraft.

The trailer for Red Road
  • "Jackie works as a CCTV operator. Each day she watches over a small part of the world, protecting the people living their lives under her gaze. One day a man appears on her monitor, a man she thought she would never see again, a man she never wanted to see again. Now she has no choice, she is compelled to confront him."

The teaser for Surf's Up
  • "A stylistically daring CGI feature, 'Surf's Up' is based on the groundbreaking revelation that surfing was actually invented by penguins. In the film, a documentary crew will take audiences behind the scenes and onto the waves during the most competitive, heartbreaking and dangerous display of surfing known to man, the Penguin World Surfing Championship."

The trailer for Deck the Halls, a comedy starring Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito

"Legal Experts Question Selection of Kangaroo as Saddam's New Judge ... Import From Sydney Zoo Draws Mixed Reviews"

Borat tries to deliver a premiere invitation - to George Bush at the White House

In Screech's sex tape, he gives one girl a Dirty Sanchez. The title of the film is (I'm not kidding) --- Saved by the Smell.

Screech's shocking sex tape!


Which English words have five consecutive vowels?
  • A professor even wrote in with a scientific term that string six vowels together. And it's not even from Hawaii. As I understand it, Polish still hold the opposite record, having five and six syllable words with no vowels at all, in fact no other letters besides w, k, r, and z.

Terrell Owens says it wasn't suicide ... it was MUR-DER!!!! Did anyone see McNabb in the area?

25 Signs That, Sadly, You've Grown Up

First Look At Will Smith In I Am Legend!

How White and Nerdy Are You?

Clinton Pins Blame For 9/11 On Former President Taft

China Purchases Siberia, Aims to Renovate

Charlie Sheen poised to become the highest paid performer in TV comedy
  • In fact, he's the ONLY paid performer.

"NAOMI CAMPBELL was given a warning that a warrant for her arrest would be issued if she did not attend her next court date in New York City after she failed to appear yesterday."

Mars Rover finally gets to Victoria's Crater (after 21 months!)

The trailer and many featurettes for The Marine, a hostage actioner

The trailer for Starter for Ten, which focuses on a working-class student (James McAvoy) who stumbles romantically and academically through his first year at a posh private university in England.

The Trailer from Sweet Land
  • When Lars Torvik’s grandmother Inge dies in 2004, he is faced with a decision - sell the family farm on which she lived since 1920, or cling to the legacy of the land. Seeking advice, he turns to the memory of Inge and the stories that she had passed on to him.
  • Get your tickets WAY in advance for this one, because the lines are gonna make Pirates of the Caribbean look like an arthouse film.

The trailer from THE ULTIMATE GIFT EXPERIENCE, a new indie drama.

Pathologist: Drug combo killed Smith son

Colbert Report: The best way to fight evil Islamic fanaticism is with good Christian fanaticism.

Colbert Report: Horsemen of A-Pop-Calypse Pt. 1 (Stephen takes on the axis of entertainment.) ... Part Two

Colbert can't remember tonight's important "Word" because he's too distracted by fluff stories.

Jon Stewart looks at CNN's "IReport" program.

John Stewart discusses his previous day's interview with the Prez of Pakistan

Hard To Beat This Campaign Ad
  • This negative ad actually convinced me to vote for his opponent. I'm thinking of moving to North Carolina just to do so! Sounds like my kind of guy!

Mozart censor faces a backlash
  • THE German Government tried yesterday to defuse an international row that erupted after a nervous opera house called off a Mozart performance because it featured the decapitated head of the Prophet Muhammad
  • Well, the censor made a good call, as I see it. If you close the opera, crazy turtle-necked wimps write passionate letters to the editor. If you show the opera, crazy Muslim dudes burn down your country. I'd rather deal with the wimps any day.




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Shotgun (1985)

Shotgun (1985) is being re-released to DVD. Had I investigated this actioner, I might not have purchased it. It is the stereotypical "tough cop runs afoul of Internal Affairs" story. While investigating the murder of his hooker sister, he is suspended, so he takes to the streets alone, and single-handedly ends all evil n the known universe for all time.

I suppose I should fill in the plot details. Stuart Chapman and Riff Hutton are partners, and they're not popular with Internal Affairs because they tend to be a little heavy-handed. IAD finally gets enough on Chapman to get him suspended, so he becomes a bounty hunter. His partner is promoted to Sergeant.

Meanwhile, a high-powered attorney simultaneously sets up his new drug headquarters in Mexico, and decides it would be amusing to beat the crap out of hookers. He has an employee solicit the woman, then leaves them near death, at least until he gets to Stuart Chapman's sister, whom he kills. When the procurer skips bail and Chapman's ex-partner is killed, our hero collects a friend, builds an armored assault vehicle, and heads for Mexico to kick some ass.

Not only is the plot less than imaginative, but it features some of the worst acting I have ever seen.

IMDb readers say 3.2, which includes the high scores votes from those that see this as one of the worst films ever made, and consider that a good thing. So, take your choice on the grade. As a police actioner, it is an E. As a bad movie, C+.

Rhonda Gray

Donna Ball








Dann reports on Chaos:

This 2005 horror/drama is billed as the most brutal film ever made, and if it isn't, I'm not sure I want to see the one that is. According to the producers, it's a lesson for young women in avoiding the kind of risky behavior that can get them into trouble. According to others, it's a blatant rip-off of Wes Craven's Last House on the Left, but since I haven't seen Last House, I can't confirm or deny that claim.

Two young women go to a rave in the woods. Eager to score some ecstasy, they agree to follow a young guy to a cabin where he claims to have friends that have all the ecstasy they want, and for free. Hint: this could have been the risky behavior the producers were talking about.

The "friends" are actually a gang of killers who have already killed several young women, so they eat these two up like candy. The depictions of the assaults and murders are as graphic as you're likely to see, thus earning the "most brutal film" billing. It pretty much deserves it.

There definitely are lessons to be learned from the film. There are at least three times when a different decision by the girls would have taken them out of harm's way, especially the initial decision to leave the large group at the rave to go with the guy. As for whether the depictions needed to be so graphic, I'll leave that up to each individual viewer.

Chantal De Groat Maya Barovich



It's Elizabeth Banks day in Flauti's corner, as she appears in three separate movies.


Brenda James

Elizabeth Banks

Tania Saulnier




Elizabeth Banks



The Sisters

Elizabeth Banks

Maria Bello



The Greenskeeper

Misty Kapp

Stephanie Bingham

Allison Kulp

Christi Taylor

Christi Taylor and Allison Kulp



Things To Do Before You're 30

Emilia Fox

Stacy Hart

Keira Malik and Billie Piper







Janet Jackson seems to have her figure back